An Eternity To Love
by Mizzdee
Summary: Best friends at 5, in love at 15, ready to marry at 17. Edward and Bella were destined for forever. In 1918, tragedy fell upon the couple, ripping them apart. A very different Edward and Bella meet again years later and this time…eternity can be theirs.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story.**

Thanks as always to my pre-reader, Loulabelle, and my beta, AgoodWITCH, for all of the input, great comments and overall support for this. I love you girls so much. And to my WC girls who have encouraged me to keep writing this even though they knew they wouldn't see it for a long, long time.

A huge and special thanks to TracyMelinda for coming up with the idea for this story and allowing me to write it. This story has been so fun to write and I'm thankful that she gave me the freedom to write the story as I saw it play out. I hope I do your story justice, girl.

**Travel back in time with me to a place where life and love were simple. When a boy and a girl could believe in destiny and fate and true love that lasts forever. In the early 1900's, Edward Masen and Isabella Swan have this kind of love. Follow these two souls as they live, love, cry and stand together through every step of their journey as they learn the true meaning of Eternity.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1 <strong>

**CHICAGO – SEPTEMBER 1916**

**BPOV**

"_Here is your tea, Mrs. Smith, and don't forget your sugar."_

_The clink of the spoon being returned to the sugar bowl was the only sound in the air._

"_Now Mrs. Miller, if you want more tea please, allow me."_

_A giggle floated through the air as tea was served to all attending this very special tea party but the most important guest hadn't arrived yet._

"_Hello, Miss Bella."_

_A little voice carried across the open space between the house and the table._

"_Eddie, you're finally here." Her arms were thrown around his neck as she ran to her best friend. "Come on hurry. Your tea is getting cold."_

_He ran to the table and took his seat next to her. He saw his surprise on the table in front of him and smiled at her._

"_Momma baked them, but I did the frosting."_

"_It's the bestest cupcake ever. Thank you, Miss Bella."_

_She shoved the candles into the cupcake and told him to make a wish. His eyes closed tight and he blew out towards the unlit candles._

"_Happy birthday, Eddie."_

_~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~_

"What has put that smile on your face, Miss Bella?"

Mrs. Jones walked back into the room to tie up my dress.

"I was remembering our tea party on Edward's fifth birthday." I turned to face her with the biggest grin on my face. "I cannot believe we've come to this point."

Edward was coming to pick me up for our first walk to the park together. He'd been part of my life for as long as I could remember and years ago our relationship changed when we shared a secret kiss in the garden while he was helping me pick some flowers. He finally built up his courage and asked my father for permission to see me in an official capacity.

I remember walking down the stairs and seeing my parents and the Masens all standing in our family room with huge smiles on their faces. I was confused until I saw Edward nod his head at me and I knew at once that he did it. I wanted to run and kiss him and forget all the manners my parents taught me but in this house, that was not going to happen. So, like the lady I was taught to be, I walked to my father's side and waited.

Edward was so cute as he stood there rubbing his hands on the handkerchief he was holding, his nerves showing clearly on his face. He took a step towards me, reaching out for my hand and I was more than happy to give it to him. He looked at me and I could see my happiness reflected in his eyes as he spoke.

"Miss Bella, will you do me the honor of accompanying me on a walk to the park tomorrow?"

My empty hand covered my mouth and I nodded my answer. He blew out a relieved breath and a smile lit up his face. I felt the tingling in my stomach and my heart start to race as he brought my hand to his lips and kissed it.

"You should have seen him, Mrs. Jones. He was so nervous though he knew I would say yes."

"This should have happened long ago, child. I'm glad that boy finally came to his senses."

I spun to face her. "Now Mrs. Jones, you know father would have never allowed it until I was old enough. I'm fifteen now." A new excitement filled me, making me twirl in circles. "And Edward Masen is coming."

"Now settle down, Miss Bella, so I can finish," she laughed as she stopped my spinning.

Mrs. Jones moved in front of me, pulling another pin from her apron and fixing a stray hair that had come loose and fallen on my shoulder. She bent down in front of me to help me into my shoes so I would be completely ready. Her timing was perfect as the house bell rang, signaling Edward's arrival.

"Oh my goodness." My hand covered my heart and my breathing went out of control. "Oh my goodness."

I should not be acting like this. This was my best friend…my Eddie. The boy who, when we were five, shared 'the bestest cupcake ever' with me. The boy who, at age nine, grabbed my hand and walked me around a puddle on the sidewalk so my dress didn't get dirty. The boy who, at thirteen, picked a flower for me and kissed it before handing it to me. Now, he was the boy who, at fifteen, asked for permission to court me.

"Hold still, child." Mrs. Jones chuckled as she grabbed my shoulders to hold me still.

My head kept turning to the door in anticipation. Things had changed so much between Edward and I throughout the years. I always believed that we would be by each other's sides for our entire lives. It wasn't until the day in that garden that I knew our lives and hearts were meant for so much more than friendship and yesterday he proved that he believed it too.

I heard the faint sounds of voices and I was sure it was my father greeting Edward as he walked through the door. That thought didn't help me calm down at all as my heart raced faster. I started to fan my face as the temperature in the room seemed to rise.

"Miss Bella, please calm down." Mrs. Jones placed her hands on my cheeks. "That is Mr. Edward down there and he is no different today than he was when he gave you that kiss in the garden."

I gasped and panic filled me. "You know about that?"

"Of course I do, child." She smiled at me. "I have been watching over you since the day you were born; there isn't anything I don't know. I'll tell you what I do know."

She chuckled and I waited anxious to hear more of what she had seen over the years.

"That boy has loved you for a long, long time now and he is finally able to show you, your father and the rest of the world just how much. Whether you believe it or not, Miss Bella, your destinies have been intertwined since you were babies and this is the natural path that your lives were to follow."

She reached up and ran her hand over my hair before she brought her hands down to grasp both of mine tightly.

"If your eyes are any indication, you love him just as much as he loves you and it's time for you take this step into a new life together."

I threw my arms around her neck and squeezed tight. "Thank you, Mrs. Jones, for everything."

She placed a kiss on my cheek and backed away from me. She made a few adjustments to my dress and pinched my cheeks to give them a little color.

"Are you ready?" she asked with a bright smile.

"Yes, more than ready." I answered with a smile even bigger and brighter than hers as I stepped toward the door that led to Edward.

_~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~_

Descending the stairs was difficult with my shaking legs, but with the help of Mrs. Jones and the sturdy railing, I managed it. I heard the voices coming from the family room so we headed in that direction. Mrs. Jones announced my arrival just before I entered the room and I saw both my father and Edward stand as I walked in. My father's face gleamed with happiness and a smile settled on his face. Edward stood with wide eyes, staring at me without saying a word. When he regained some control of his actions, his beautiful smile lit up the room and he bowed to me.

"Miss Bella, you look incredibly beautiful this day. I am proud to be your escort for the afternoon."

I was sure the pinch I had received upstairs wouldn't have been necessary as his words caused the color to rise in my cheeks. Edward's beautiful words always caused me to blush, and today was no different.

The complete happiness I felt caused me to giggle. "You are too kind, but there is no need to bow to me."

My father cleared his throat as the words left my lips. He always showed his disapproval when my actions or words would break from propriety, which happened quite often in Edward's presence.

"Sorry father." I addressed him before turning to Edward again. "Edward, would you like a glass of lemonade before we go?"

"No thank you, Miss Bella." He turned to address my father. "Mr. Swan, if it is alright with you, may we take our leave?"

"Of course, Edward." He reached his hand out to shake Edward's hand. "Please, take extra special care of my daughter and let no harm come to her."

"You have my solemn promise, sir, nothing will ever hurt her while I am allowed to watch over her."

Edward walked me to the door and Mrs. Jones helped me with my sweater and hat before putting on her own as she was coming along to act as chaperone. I didn't believe we needed one because it had always been just Edward and I but, again, propriety took precedence over all when a man was courting his intended. The thought of being Edward's intended made me smile and blush again and it didn't escape his notice.

"You're beautiful when you blush," he whispered so my father wouldn't hear.

His words, of course, caused the blush to deepen as he opened the door, dipped his head slightly and waved his hand in an offer for us to cross the threshold first. Mrs. Jones and I took three steps onto the porch and waited for Edward to close the door. He walked to my side and offered me his hand so he could help me down the steps and, once I was down, he offered the same hand to help Mrs. Jones down the steps as well.

This side of him was new to me. I was used to my best friend, who was always fun and carefree, running through my backyard chasing me in a game of tag or hide and seek. They were his favorite games and we would play them all the time. He wasn't always careful and would take me to the ground with him when he caught me. That was my Eddie.

The Edward standing before me today was a perfect gentleman, doing all the things I had seen my father do for my mother through the years. This Edward offered me his arm so he could lead me down the street in the direction of the park with Mrs. Jones a few steps behind us. Once my hand rested firmly on his arm, he reached over and placed his empty hand on top of mine to hold it.

"We have come far enough and my father cannot see you anymore. It's just me, Edward; you may act normal and let my hand go." I giggled again at the need to ask him for some normality.

"Miss Bella, what kind of man would I be if I didn't treat you like a proper lady in public?" He turned his head to me and smiled.

It was hard to believe that this was the same fifteen-year-old boy who, just two days ago, was in my backyard, teaching me to play stickball with him before my father returned home.

He leaned over to whisper in my ear. "Honestly Miss Bella, I am fighting the impulse to grab your hand and run the whole way there."

And there was my Eddie, I knew he was in there somewhere. His eyes sparked with mischief and his soft laugh sounded in my ear, causing me to laugh with him.

_~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~_

Our time together was nice. We walked for so long I think we circled the park three times, neither of us wanting this time together to end. We laughed together and thought of old memories from our childhood as we both marveled at the fact that we were now allowed to walk hand in hand in public.

We sat on a bench when he worried about me being tired and he even treated me to some lemon drops he had stashed in his pocket because he knew they were my favorite. He took great care of me and when his eyes connected to mine, they were always full of sincerity and trust and love.

After our short rest, he looked at his pocket watch and realized the hour. He looked at Mrs. Jones, who was happily reading a book on the next bench, and then looked back at me with a pleading look.

"Do you think she would object if I kept you longer?"

"_She_ wouldn't object at all. She's been waiting for this day for a long time," I said as I remembered our earlier conversation.

His eyes sparkled with hope and I hated to be the one to take that away, but it was necessary.

"My father, on the other hand, would never let you see me again if we were to return at anything other than a decent hour."

A small pout fell on his face and he blew out a breath and stood up, offering me his hand.

"Shall we go then, Miss Bella? I wouldn't want to make your father angry."

The three of us left the park and strolled slowly towards home. I wanted to keep him with me but I knew that would be impossible. As soon as we made it home, my father was going to make him leave and I would be left alone. Faster than I had hoped, we were standing outside my house; our time was up.

With a sigh, my feet carried me up the first two steps before he stopped me. I spun slowly to face him and placed my gloved hand in his. The look on his face made my legs unsteady again as we gazed into each other's eyes. He touched a finger to my cheek and whispered so softly that I barely heard him.

"Miss Bella, you have meant the world to me since I was a small boy. I cannot express how much it means for you to return the feelings that I have held in my heart for you these past ten years. I will be forever grateful that you chose me to be with you in this way, out in the open where everyone can see how much I love you."

His words made my heart pound in my chest and my breathing became rushed. My eyes filled with tears as he spoke and I wanted to say the words back to him but I couldn't form a word.

"I know I shouldn't say such things to you now, at the beginning of our courtship, because it is not proper, but I cannot seem to stop myself from saying the words I've wanted to say since I gave you that flower when we were thirteen." He took a deep breath. "Miss Bella, I gave away my heart that day with the hope that one day you will give me yours as well."

My hand involuntarily moved to his face to touch his cheek. Our silent gaze lasted a couple of seconds before I was able to form words.

"Edward, you are my best friend, my love and my life. You took my heart with you that very same day and I would never dream of asking to have it back. It has always been yours."

His faced showed happiness like I had never seen before and he brought my hands to his lips once more. His eyes closed as he lingered there and then he opened them to look at me again.

"Thank you, Miss Bella. Please, if I may be so bold as to say, I love you."

"And I love you, Edward."

My father appeared in the doorway behind us, clearing his throat to announce his presence. With one last smile and one last goodbye, we parted as I turned to make my way through the front door. Edward and I would see each other again soon but, until then, I had my thoughts to keep me company.

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><p><strong>AN: Ahhh the beauty of young love. In this simpler time, courting and getting married as teenagers was common. Edward and Bella are so perfect together. After growing up together and taking 15 years to fall in love, it's no wonder they're completely ready to take this step.**

**I truly hope you enjoyed this first chapter. This story has been under lock and key for six months and I am so excited to finally share it with everyone. While I still have two other WIPs out there, I want to keep a schedule to update this every two weeks so I don't keep you waiting any longer than necessary. You know I always love to hear what you think, good or bad, so leave me some love. Until next time, my loves - D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story.**

Thanks as always to my pre-reader, Loulabelle, and my beta, AgoodWITCH, for all of the input, great comments and overall support for this. I love you girls so much.

I want to take a second to thank everyone for all the alerts and favorites for my little story. They all mean so much to me and they let me know that the last six months was worth it. You know I love every one of you and because I do, I won't keep you waiting any longer…let's get back to our perfect couple.

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

**BPOV**

The past six months with Edward had been pure bliss. Our winter was spent in my backyard making snowmen and snow angels and, before my father came home, we would have snowball fights, which he would always let me win. Mrs. Jones would always call us in before we would get too cold and Edward and I would sit and sip hot tea by the fire.

We spent hours on end speaking of our past and making plans for our future together. We spoke of children often, always praying for one boy and one girl. I always added an extra prayer in silence that our children would have their father's good looks. Edward told me of his dreams to work in the bank where he would earn enough money to support our family. We shared everything together, there were no secrets between us and we were closer than any two people could possibly be.

When spring came, we were able to resume our walks in the park and on occasion, Edward would accompany Mrs. Jones and me on our trips to the marketplace. Today he was acting a little strange, disappearing for a second or two as we would round a corner, before reappearing again with that playful grin on his face. The three of us strolled through rows of carts before we stopped to look through the fruit and vegetable selections.

Mrs. Jones was looking through the vegetable cart while I stood in front of the fruit cart with an apple in my hand. I didn't see Edward move away from us, so the light tap on my shoulder startled me, causing the apple to fall back into the pile. I turned to see him staring at me with that grin I loved so much.

"Miss Bella, I have found something for you and I know you're going to love it."

I smiled at his excitement. "What did you find, Edward?"

"Something that will make you love me forever." His voice was filled with confidence.

"Oh, you think so, do you?" My smile grew wider. "Then show me what could be so special."

"Close your eyes," he whispered.

When he allowed me to open them again, he was holding a single pink tulip, just like the one he had given me when we were thirteen. I felt a tear come to my eye as I looked from the flower to the boy in front of me. He placed a single kiss on the petals and presented it to me.

"Miss Bella, I offer you this beautiful flower and with it, my heart. Please, take both and hold them in your care forever."

There were no words for a moment so beautiful. I could only nod my head in acceptance. Edward reached forward to wipe the happy tears from my cheeks, before reaching down to grab my hand, bringing it to his lips. I'd had months to get used to this Edward but when he did things like this, he turned into a whole new person to me and I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. I had the three best parts of Edward; my fun-loving best friend, the sure and confident boy that loved me and the sweet and romantic boy who would make me his forever, all rolled into one, making him the most perfect man in existence.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Summer was upon us and Edward had arranged a picnic in the park for us. It was a beautiful day with small, billowy clouds dotting the light blue sky. I had my hand resting on his offered arm as he carried our picnic basket and the blanket in his other hand. Our walk was filled with laughter and friendly banter as we made our way slowly through the streets.

Edward chose a beautiful spot under the biggest tree and spread our blanket out in the grass. Always the gentleman, he held both my hands as he helped me to the ground and he even took the time to smooth out my dress before he sat down next to me. We had a perfect view of the lake and the water glinting off the surface was a stunning sight.

"Edward, this is beautiful."

"Not compared to you, Miss Bella."

My ever-present blush colored my cheeks with his words. He always had the sweetest things to say to me and I still hadn't gotten used to it yet.

"No, I mean it. We've been to this same park a hundred times, but there is something different today. Something that makes it more…beautiful."

"It's the same park, Miss Bella. You're just looking at it through different eyes, that's all."

His statement confused me and his chuckle told me that he knew what I was thinking.

"I have seen many things differently since we have been coming here together. It looks different to you now because you are looking at it through the eyes of someone in love."

He paused and shifted his position so he could hold my hands as he spoke.

"Miss Bella, I want you to see everything this way and not just now, but for the rest of your life, because I plan to be there and love you through all of it."

I was speechless as so many visions of our future ran through my mind. I had no doubt that Edward and I were going to share our lives together and his declaration now made the future that much more real to me.

"Thank you, Edward. I do know that you will always be there to take care of me."

"Speaking of taking care of you…" he leaned over slightly to see Mrs. Jones, sitting on her blanket about ten feet from us. "I better serve your lunch or Mrs. Jones might tell your father that I am not feeding you properly."

I giggled as he winked at me. I turned to see Mrs. Jones reading her book, with the corner of her mouth turned up in a small grin. Our conversation wasn't loud and I had believed that she was far enough away that she wouldn't have heard us, but the look on her face told me otherwise, making me remember what she said to me months ago; she saw everything and there wasn't anything she didn't know about.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

The summer had gone by quickly and Edward and I had spent more time together than we ever had and our bond was such that we were closer to being one person rather than two. We had come to the point where we could look at each other and just know, without speaking, what the other was thinking. There had been many instances in which we would finish each other's sentences; one would start and the other would finish and the two of us would laugh. Mrs. Jones said that this was the way we had always been, but we had not noticed until now.

The days were beginning to cool, with the temperature on most days making it impossible to continue our walks. We began to spend more time together in my backyard, playing games like we always did. It always amazed me how different we were when we were together like this as opposed to being out in public. It was like the magic that surrounded us in the outside world was stripped away and we were just best friends again, laughing and carrying on like we didn't have a care in the world.

The day before my sixteenth birthday, Edward and I were in my backyard while he tried, again, to teach me to play stickball. I didn't have the proper coordination to play such a game, but he tried anyway.

"Miss Bella, you have to put your hands near the bottom, like this."

He held the stick in both hands trying to show me the proper grip.

"I am never going to get this." I laughed as I grabbed the stick again.

He backed away from me with the ball in his hand, waiting to toss it at me again.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes, Edward."

He tossed the ball and I took my swing as hard as I could. I felt the stick jerk backwards as the ball made contact.

"I hit it, Edward. I hit it."

I jumped up and down a couple of times, excited that I finally hit the ball. When I was able to contain myself, I looked to Edward for his approval but he was lying on the ground. I dropped the stick and ran to him.

"Edward! Edward! Are you okay?"

I touched his face to check for marks and found none. He was groaning a little and I was worried that he was hurt.

"Edward, talk to me."

He finally opened his eyes and stared at me. I held one of his hands in mine while his other touched his forehead.

"Remind me to move next time."

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I didn't expect to hit it." I got closer, examining his head looking for a bump where the ball hit him and still there was nothing. "This is a stupid game, someone could get hurt."

"Miss Bella," he whispered.

His hand reached up to my cheek and directed my eyes to meet his. We were so close, closer than we had been since we were children and I felt those very familiar tingles in my stomach again as he stared at me.

"You don't hit hard enough to hurt me."

I pushed him away and scrambled to my feet, stomping into the house, leaving him lying on the ground behind me. His laughter carried through the air and I slammed the back door to shut out the sound. He knew I hated when he made fun of me.

"Isabella Marie Swan!"

I forgot all about Edward the moment I heard that voice. I was always 'Miss Bella' to Mrs. Jones unless I did something really bad and then I became 'Isabella Marie'. So the minute I heard her call my name, I knew I was in trouble. I turned and stepped into the kitchen.

"Yes, Mrs. Jones." My hands were clasped in front of me, hoping to convey my innocence.

"Child, you are lucky that your parents aren't home." She kept her eyes on the food she was preparing while she scolded me. "If your father heard you slamming that door, what would he say?"

"I am sorry, Mrs. Jones. I didn't mean to, but Edward just…"

She glanced out the window before putting down the knife she was using to chop vegetables. After wiping her hands on her apron, she held one out to me. "Come stand with me for a moment."

Not knowing what she would want with me, I walked slowly to stand next to her. She smiled at me and grabbed my hand.

"Miss Bella, look out that window."

I turned and saw Edward gathering everything I left outside.

"Do you see the smile on his face? You can try to be mad at him all you want, but there has never has been a time that he doesn't leave here without that smile."

I watched as he took the stick and ball, throwing them over the fence into his yard. I saw him come back and pick up the sweater I had draped over the back of the chair before we began to play our game. He held it in one hand and slowly ran his other hand over it to dust it off just before he folded it.

"Do you see that? He has always taken such care with you as well, Miss Bella. He wants nothing more than to be close to you. I am sure that has been his purpose for all the games he has taught you to play over the years. You run…he catches you. You hide…he finds you. Today's game is no different."

I glanced at her, completely confused. She just smiled.

"He could have caught that ball, but what happened when you thought he was hurt?"

"I wanted to help him," I whispered.

"Of course you did, and he knew you would."

I looked back at Edward, now sitting in the chair holding my sweater, looking toward the sky with the biggest smile on his face. His expression caused the same smile to appear on my face.

"Can you really be so angry with him now that you can see him the way I have seen him all these years?"

My heart beat wildly in my chest as I put together Mrs. Jones' words and the sight of him sitting there.

"He looks so happy."

"He always has been."

I turned quickly and placed a kiss on her cheek. "Thank you."

I ran from the kitchen, throwing the back door open in my haste to get back to Edward. I heard it hit the wall a second before I heard Mrs. Jones scream my name again, but this time I didn't care.

Edward's head snapped in my direction and he was on his feet in a heartbeat. My arms wrapped around his waist as his arms caught me and held me tight.

"I am sorry, Miss Bella," he whispered. "I didn't mean to make you angry." One of his hands moved to my hair, running through it gently. The other stayed securely around my back. "Please forgive me."

"There is nothing forgive, Edward. I should not have run away from you like that. I can't be upset with you. I love you."

With my ear pressed against his chest, I heard his heart speed up, matching the pace of my own. I squeezed tighter at the thought of how happy we always were together. I gasped as his lips touch my forehead. It had been the first time in nearly three years that he kissed anything other than my hands.

I lifted my head to look into his face. We stood so close, lost in each other's eyes for what seemed like forever. His hand moved from my hair to rest on my cheek and I reached up to cover it with mine.

"I love you, Miss Bella." Our fingers laced together and he brought our hands to his chest. His voice came out in a whisper. "Forget proper."

His lips were on mine in seconds and I was in heaven. The force and urgency of his kiss caused a rush of tingles to take over my entire body. There was nothing in this world that felt as good as his lips on mine.

His hand was back on my cheek again while mine remained on his chest, covering his heart. He pulled back a little, making this kiss soft and tender. We moved together, our connection as perfect as every other part of us.

I could have kissed him forever but, when I could no longer breathe, I had to pull away. His forehead touched mine and we stood together, heavy breaths mingling, neither of us ready to speak. He pulled away and his lips touched mine again for one very soft, very sweet and very short kiss, before he brought his eyes back to mine.

"I'm sorry, Miss Bella. I know our first kiss should have been on our wedding day, but I have wanted to do that for so long now. I couldn't help myself."

I giggled at the guilty look on his face and gripped his waist tighter.

"Edward, please don't apologize. I have also had to fight the urge to do the same thing." I lifted my hand to his cheek. "You love me…"

"With every beat of my heart."

More tingles surged through my body as I blushed at his words.

"And I love you. It's only natural for us to want this. Its society that keeps us from doing what we wish."

His eyes sparkled and the playful grin came back.

"Well then, please tell me how to speed up time so I can marry you and I can kiss you any time I want."

We laughed together as he drew me into his arms. I lost all track of time standing there with him. It wasn't until I heard the worried voice of Mrs. Jones that I pulled away. Edward looked up and I turned to see her standing in the doorway.

"Miss Bella, your father is home."

My eyes grew wide in panic and I turned back to Edward. Nothing ever seemed to bother him and this was no different.

"I will take my leave, Miss Bella."

He held my hands in his and brought them to his lips for one final kiss. He took off running toward his yard and jumped the fence. His actions had me giggling again but I called his name, remembering that I had something to say.

"Oh Edward." He turned to look at me with a smile that lit up his whole face. "Please don't think I'm counting, but that was our second kiss."

"Good evening, Miss Bella."

He turned toward his house and I walked to my own. I heard him call me before I made it to the door.

"Oh, Miss Bella." I turned. "You may not be counting, but I am."

Edward disappeared into his house and I ran into mine to join Mrs. Jones in the kitchen before my father walked in.

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><p><strong>In a time when propriety rules all, who could resist urge to steal a kiss or two. These two are so cute that I almost want <strong>**to keep them sixteen and innocent forever…almost.**

**Thanks so much for reading. As always, don't forget to tell me what you think. I love to hear it and every review will get you a short tease from the next chapter. So, until next time…much love to you - D**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story.**

Thanks as always to my pre-reader, Loulabelle, and my beta, AgoodWITCH, for all of the input, great comments and overall support for this. I love you girls so much.

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews coming in. With everything going on in RL, I haven't had a chance to reply to all of them yet. I promise you that I will just as soon as I am near a computer again. Also, one quick thing…I am posting this chapter a little early since I may not be around Friday, and I don't want you to have to wait even one day to fall more in love with these two. So, on that note, let's get on with the story.

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><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

**BPOV**

"_Come on, Eddie. Let's go." I pulled his arm, practically dragging him toward the garden. "Mother will not be happy if these flowers are not on her table by dinnertime."_

"_But why do I have to go, Miss Bella?" He was pouting._

"_Because you give me flowers all the time and they are always the prettiest ones in the garden." I smiled when I looked at him, always thankful to receive such precious gifts from him._

_I watched him blush and got an idea to make him laugh._

"_Hey Eddie." I giggled. "Guess what?"_

"_What?" he answered, trying to keep the grin from forming on his lips._

_I took off running. "Race you," I yelled over my shoulder as I sprinted toward the garden._

_I heard him running after me as I ducked around the garden shed and ran to my favorite hiding spot behind a loose panel in the wall of the shed. I covered my mouth to keep quiet while he looked everywhere except for my secret hiding place. When his back was turned, I quietly stepped out from behind the panel and wrapped her arms around him._

"_Gotcha," I said into his back because, at thirteen, he was already taller than me._

"_Oh yeah, you want to play that game?"_

_His tone gave him away and I instantly let go and tried to get away because I knew exactly what was coming. But, Edward was faster as he caught me around the waist and pulled me to him, tickling my sides, causing me to laugh hysterically._

"_Please…stop," I said between breaths._

"_Do you give?" Edward stilled his hand._

_Trying to regain my breath, I shouted my next word. "Never!"_

_I broke free but Edward's quick hands grabbed me again and held me close while continuing his assault. When I was gasping for air, he stilled his hand again._

"_Do you give?" he asked again._

"_Yes, yes, yes." I spoke the words through my laughter._

"_Good, then let's pick some flowers." Edward smiled, let me go and walked toward the garden._

_We searched the rows of flowers for the perfect ones to go on the dinner table. Finally settling on the tulips, I took out the sheers to begin clipping the stems. I had five different colored flowers in my hands when I decided I had enough. I got up and turned to find Edward right behind me, holding a pink tulip in his hand._

"_Miss Bella, you have to have an even number of flowers on your table or it won't look right."_

"_But I already have a pink one," I said, as I looked at the flowers in my hands._

"_This one is special though." Edward could only smile._

"_Why? What makes it so special?" His eyes lit up and his smile widened at my confusion._

"_Because this one has been kissed by an angel. You can only tell if you kiss it too…like this." He touched the flower to his lips then held it out to me. "Try it, you'll see."_

_Leaning forward together, we both touched our lips to the flower. Before I could pull away, Edward moved it and touched his lips to mine. I gasped and pulled away, laughing nervously and looking over my shoulder to make sure no one could see us. My fingers covered my mouth as I turned back to Edward._

"_You can't tell anyone about that," I whispered. "We'll get into so much trouble."_

"_My lips are sealed." He closed his lips and acted like he was locking them together, which made me laugh._

_We ran back to the house to get the flowers into a vase and on the table before dinner. The loud ticking of the clock in the background was all I heard as I watched him move the flowers around in the vase, making it perfect._

_~..~..~..~..~..~..~_

My eyes opened slowly to the clicking noise that I was sure was in my dream, but I realized I was wrong. I heard a few more clicks but I was too tired to get out of bed to find out what it was. Determined to get more sleep, I closed my eyes and rolled over, pulling the blankets over my head, attempting to fall back into my dream.

The clicking continued for several minutes before I got up to find the source of the noise. As I felt the chill of the cold house, I pulled a blanket around my shoulders to keep warm as I searched for the disturbing noise keeping me awake. I didn't have to look very long when the sound of the next click came from the window behind me.

I walked slowly to the window and peaked around the corner. My face had an instant smile as I looked out to see Edward standing below my window with the moon giving enough light to see his beautiful smile. I slid the window open hoping my father wouldn't hear and come into my room to investigate.

"Edward, it's the middle of the night," I whispered. "What are you doing here?"

"I couldn't wait to see you, Miss Bella," he whispered back.

"Do you know what my father would do to you if he caught you here?"

"Probably the same as my father, but I couldn't wait."

"What are you talking about? Wait for what?" I was tired and confused and I couldn't figure out why he was here.

I heard a noise behind me and turned quickly to see if we had been discovered. I waited a couple of seconds and heard nothing else so I turned back to the window again.

"You're going to get caught. You need to go home, Edward, before my father wakes up," I begged.

"I can't leave…not yet."

"Why not? What could be so important that you risk coming here at this hour?"

"You, Miss Bella." He glanced toward his house. "I can't sleep and it's because of you."

"You'll be here tomorrow and it will be at a time that won't have my father wanting to kill you."

"But that's just it…it is tomorrow and I couldn't sleep." He smiled up at me now. "I couldn't sleep, Miss Bella, until I told you happy birthday."

My face burned with the color now rising to my cheeks. I couldn't believe he was risking everything just to be here, wishing me a happy birthday. My love for him grew ten times in a single breath.

"Edward, I love you," I said with a smile so big, it made my cheeks hurt. "You are the most wonderful, loving and - "

My sentence died in my throat and I spun quickly to face my door. I stayed silent for a second as I listened to a set of footsteps making their way down the hallway. I turned quickly to the window.

"Someone's coming," I whispered as urgently as I could. "Please go, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight, my love."

His fingers touched his lips just before he blew me a kiss. I watched for a second as he ran and jumped the fence before I jumped back into bed. Whoever was in the hallway never opened my door and shortly after I heard them walk away, I drifted off to sleep.

_~..~..~..~..~..~..~_

Mrs. Jones and I were in the kitchen early in the morning preparing for my birthday dinner. We already had the house cleaned and I was chopping vegetables while Mrs. Jones prepared the cake. Normally, I wouldn't be in the kitchen with her on such a day, but my father said he wanted everything perfect when our guests arrived.

Every other year the Masens came to celebrate my birthday with us. This year, however, my father and mother seemed to be making a bigger deal out of today than it should have been. I was sixteen today and I didn't see the difference between this year and any other. Why was it so important to have my father's partner, Mr. Clark, Pastor Jameson and their wives present? I would have felt more comfortable if it were just Edward and his parents, but I wasn't allowed to make the decision.

We worked the day away preparing all the food and once everything was set to cook, I went to my room to begin getting ready for the party. Our guests would begin to arrive in three hours and I needed time to be ready. I bathed in record time, giving Mrs. Jones as much time as she would need to pull my hair together in a style she claimed was fit for a princess.

Thirty minutes before the start of the party, Mrs. Jones excused herself to go put the finishing touches on dinner. I was ready and the only thing left to do was dress. My dress for the party, which I had placed on the bed before my bath, was suspiciously missing. I looked through my closet but it was nowhere to be found. I was standing in the middle of my room completely confused when Mrs. Jones returned carrying a big box.

"What's this?" I asked.

"This, Miss Bella, is your dress for the party." She was grinning at me.

"So _you _took it? Did it need pressing?" I didn't remember anything wrong with it.

"No, there was no pressing required."

She lifted the lid on the box and pulled out the most beautiful blue dress. I owned nothing like this. It looked like it could cost someone's yearly salary. I had to know where it came from.

"Mrs. Jones," my voice was a whisper, "it's beautiful. Where ever did you get it?"

My hands ran over the fabric. It was perfect, simple with no extra embellishments. It was just what I would have chosen for myself.

"Miss Bella, I was told to deliver this dress to the princess living in the room at the top of the stairs."

My heart swelled as I took the dress in my hands and accepted it as mine. The fabric was so soft, like some kind of silk. My mother had a dress like this and I used to love running my hands over it when I was a little girl. My father would always pull me away and say that proper little girls did not do things like that.

"Mrs. Jones, did my father buy this for me?" I looked at her with tears in my eyes. "Is this my birthday present?"

"Wipe those tears, child. You don't want puffy eyes when you go to see Mr. Edward, do you?"

She had a huge grin on her face as she avoided the question. I knew I wasn't going to get an answer.

"Please, tell me," I begged.

"Miss Bella, I will not ruin anyone's surprise. Now let's get this dress on so you aren't late."

Of course she wouldn't tell me, but I wanted to know who would have done something like this for me. Mrs. Jones took the dress from my hands and held it up so I could slide it over my head. Once I had it on and tied, I turned to the mirror to look. It was beautiful and Mrs. Jones was right, the way I looked now, I could really pretend to be a princess. My eyes started to tear up again as my hands traveled down the dress, taking in the soft feel of the fabric.

"Miss Bella, you are beautiful. Mr. Edward will be speechless when he sees you." I looked up at her and her face turned sad when she saw me. "Why are you crying, child?"

"I cannot believe someone did this for me."

"They all love you so much, Miss Bella, and they wanted to make this day special for you." She grabbed a tissue and softly dried my eyes. "Of course, there is one that loves you more than the others and _he_ is waiting for you."

My heart skipped a beat when she spoke about Edward that way. I smiled as I thought of him standing at the foot of the stairs waiting for me with our families standing behind him. I ran my hands over the fabric of the dress one more time and took a deep breath to calm myself before I looked back to Mrs. Jones.

"Okay, I'm ready."

"That's my girl." Mrs. Jones reached up to pinch my cheeks again for color.

"You know that is not necessary." I giggled as she pulled her hands away.

"I know the color that Mr. Edward puts in your cheeks, but I have been dressing you for sixteen years and old habits don't go away." She leaned in to kiss my forehead. "Now let's go."

Mrs. Jones walked out before me so she could announce me to our guests. It was a silly ritual, but one my father would always follow. To my surprise, this was one area in which Edward and my father were in complete agreement.

I stood in my doorway until I heard Mrs. Jones gather everyone at the bottom of the stairs and announce my name. I was floating on air as I walked out my room and took one last deep breath as I reached the staircase.

"She's so beautiful." I heard a woman's voice say.

I took the first two steps before I looked at everyone gathered there waiting for me. Every face held a smile…except for one. Edward stood with wide eyes and his mouth open slightly, staring like he had been put under some spell. I smiled when I watched his father nudge him from behind and his eyes fluttered a few times before his breathtaking smile graced his face.

The look of love I had seen every day for the last year was there and I had to stop where I was and grip the handrail to keep from running into his arms. I ripped my eyes from him and found my father's face glowing with pride. I continued down to the final step and stopped, waiting for Edward to step up and take my hand. He just stood there, staring at me with that same bewitched look on his face. I giggled as his father nudged him in the back again to get him to move.

He shook his head, stepped forward and held out his hand to me.

"M-Miss…uh…Bella." He shook his head again. "You…wow…you're…" Another push from his father; another shake of his head. "Miss Bella, you are so…beautiful."

My cheeks went red with the blush he always brought to my face. I reached up to place my hand in his and my heart raced as I was hit with the memories of a stolen kiss and the boy I loved standing below my window, wishing me a happy birthday at midnight. I couldn't help myself as I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around him. His arms went around me and his head dropped, bringing his cheek next to mine.

"Edward Masen!" His father.

"Isabella Swan!" My father.

Edward whispered softly in my ear. "Sorry, my love."

He stepped back and his father grasped his shoulder and led him out the door onto the porch. My father had a look of fury in his eyes and I knew it was because I did something so wrong in front of Pastor Jameson. I knew I shouldn't have done it, but I couldn't find it in me to feel sorry or ashamed. I loved Edward and I didn't care who saw me show it.

My mother led everyone into the other room and my father stepped in front of me. I knew he was upset, and I would listen and apologize as a proper girl should, knowing in my heart that I didn't mean it. Before he had a chance to say anything, Edward and his father walked back through the door. He stood next to me, taking my hand in his while our fathers began to chastise us both.

"Edward, I did not raise you to be so cavalier with a lady." Mr. Masen's anger was something I had never witnessed before and I was suddenly afraid for Edward. "The two of you have shown a complete lack of respect for everyone in this room and it is not something I will stand for."

"How dare you two embarrass your mothers and us that way!" My father spoke harshly. "Pastor Jameson did not come here to see such a display of impropriety. Isabella, you have been raised as a lady and I expect you to act as such. What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I am sorry, Father. I did not mean to embarrass you or you, Mr. Masen. I was simply lost to the moment." I wasn't sorry at all, but I hoped my words were enough to soothe their tempers.

Edward squeezed my hand and I looked up at him. His eyes surprised me because I didn't see the fear that I would have expected, stemming from disappointing our fathers. Instead, I saw his love and the mischievous spark that was only there for me. In my head, I could almost hear Edward telling me he would take care of this. His empty hand moved to rest over his heart as he turned his head to speak.

"Father, I apologize again for my abhorrent behavior. Mr. Swan, I truly apologize for any disrespect I have brought to you and your home due to my actions. I was momentarily overwhelmed by her beauty and my love for her that I simply lost all rational thought. I promise you both that I will never allow another lapse in judgment while in the presence of others."

I blushed as I heard Edward's last few words, again remembering the kiss he gave me yesterday. Mr. Masen's face softened with Edward's apology. My father's lip twitched just a little and I knew him well enough to know he was fighting off a smile. They couldn't deny the sincerity in Edward's words.

"I am going to trust that you will keep your word, Edward. I will not have my daughter's good name tarnished in any way," my father warned.

"You have my word, Sir." Edward bowed slightly.

"Isabella, I will expect you to live up to your good name and think about how your actions affect the both of you…and us." Mr. Masen gave me a warning of his own.

"Yes, Mr. Masen." I gave a slight nod of my head as I felt Edward squeeze my hand one more time.

"Now then, let's not keep our guests waiting," my father said as he stepped to the side, motioning for Edward and I to walk ahead of them. As soon as our fathers were behind us, Edward and I stole a quick glance at each other, both of us smiling.

_~..~..~..~..~..~..~_

The night moved quickly and after a short gathering in the family room, dinner was served. Everyone took their places at the table with my father at the head, of course, and me seated next to him. Edward was seated across the table and one seat to my right, giving me the perfect opportunity to see his smile all night.

After dessert was served, father suggested we all step into the family room for a bit of light conversation before everyone was set to leave for the night. My father pulled my chair out for me and as I stood, Mrs. Masen, who had been seated on my right, linked her arm with mine and escorted me into the other room.

"My dear Isabella, you are sixteen now, have you given any thought to your future?" she questioned.

"I have considered it." A small grin fell on my lips as I thought of mine and Edward's plans for our future together.

"My son is quite infatuated with you, dear. Have you considered what will happen at the end of your courtship?" She glanced sideways at me and the corner of her mouth lifted a bit.

"Mrs. Masen, a courtship customarily ends with a marriage proposal, and Edward and I are still too young to consider such a thing," I replied.

I knew in my heart that wasn't true as Edward and I had been speaking of marriage and a family for quite some time now, but I would never tell his mother such a thing and risk her thinking of me in negative ways. But she surprised me as she stopped and spun to face me.

"Nonsense dear, I was a girl of sixteen once and hopelessly in love with Edward's father. We married at seventeen and never once considered ourselves too young." She held my hands, focused her eyes on mine and whispered, "Isabella, I believe that you have always shared my son's feelings and Mr. Masen and I have always thought of you as a daughter. It would bring us great pleasure if, one day, you were to join our family as Edward's wife."

My heart leapt at her words and I placed a kiss to her cheek. "Mrs. Masen, thank you for accepting me so readily into your family, but Edward and I have plenty of time. When he is ready, he will ask my father's permission and when my father asks me if that is what I truly want, I will say yes because a life with Edward is the only future I want."

The beaming smile on her face was enough to know that I had said the right words. She squeezed my hands before hugging me. "Thank you, dear," she whispered into my ear.

When she pulled away, my eyes instantly sought out Edward. He was standing with all the men by the fire, a worried look on his face. I hoped they weren't giving him another lecture about what happened earlier. I wanted to run and rescue him, but I was being held prisoner as Mrs. Masen began to chat with the other three women.

A few moments passed and every couple moved to stand next to each other. I was finally allowed to stand with Edward again, his hand immediately holding mine when I was within his reach. We all looked at my father as he cleared his throat to speak.

"We would like to thank you all for coming tonight and celebrating our Isabella's birthday with us. This day has come faster that we thought possible, and today we stand before you as the very proud parents of a beautiful and wonderful young woman."

Tears came to my eyes when he spoke of me that way. I felt Edward squeeze my hand and when I looked up at him, he smiled and wiped my eyes with his handkerchief. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mrs. Jones enter the room with a tray full of drinks. She swept through the room, making sure everyone had a glass except Edward and I, of course, because we were too young. I turned back to my father when he began speaking again.

"However, before we part company for the night, there is still one thing that has yet to be done."

My head tilted slightly as I looked at my father, confused by his words. He simply smiled, shifted his gaze and nodded his head toward Edward, who was standing behind me. I turned, looking up to see what was happening, but my eyes widened when I caught sight of Edward down on one knee in front of me.

* * *

><p><strong>The kiss that started it all, a sweet Happy Birthday wish at midnight, and a boy so caught up in the beauty of the girl he loves that he can't speak. Could anyone be more perfect? Then seeing Edward down on one knee. Wait…what? How could he be tying his shoe at a time like this? I know, I know…not funny, like I would really do that to you. But, the real question of the day is…who really bought that beautiful, blue silk dress for Bella? Hmm…only time will tell.<strong>

**Oh, I do have one more question for you. I know I don't really have to ask, but who's ready to hear from Edward. I think it's time for him to get his say in this story, don't you? **

**Thanks again for reading. As always, don't forget to tell me what you think. I love to hear it and every review will get you a tease from the next chapter. So, until next time…much love to you - D**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story.**

I want to take a second to welcome my newest pre-reader to the crew. Kate22689 has joined Loulabelle and AgoodWITCH and together they will use all the powers at their disposal to make this story worth reading. Thanks so much ladies. Love ya tons.

**A/N: Just a quick note, Edward's pov will back up about a week before Bella's birthday so you can see everything he went through to get ready for the her big day. I hope you enjoy.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>

**EPOV**

_What could I have possibly done to earn such good fortune?_

I asked myself this same question every time I stared out my bedroom window to gaze upon the girl next door. Her beauty was unmatched with her soft brown hair that shined with a hint of red in the sunlight, expressively beautiful, deep brown eyes and delicate skin that rivaled the finest silk. But all these things were nothing compared to the pure kindness and gentleness of her soul. She was an angel among men and for sixteen years, I'd been given the gift of walking through life with this angel by my side.

By some stroke of luck, Bella Swan and I had been together since birth. Our parents were neighbors and best friends and when we were born, both our mothers knew that we would be just as close and they were right. She was my best friend, but somewhere during all of our years together those feeling had changed.

One stolen kiss in a garden when we were thirteen changed our world, and there was no going back. Now, three short years later, she was truly mine in every way possible. She was not only my best friend, but she was now my one true love. The one person I lived for, and would die for and the one and only person I would move heaven and earth for.

On Bella's last birthday, her father granted me permission to court her and over the past eleven months, our love had deepened until we knew we would spend our lives together. I was anxious for our future to begin, but I knew we couldn't move forward with our plans until I had a ring and her father's permission to offer it to her. So I would wait until I had enough money in hand to purchase a ring for my angel.

"Someday my beautiful Bella," I whispered.

Then, as if she could hear me, she turned and looked up, meeting my eyes. The smile she gave me warmed my body and quickened my pulse. She lifted her hand to me as she walked toward her house and I touched the glass as I watched my beautiful girl disappear. My heart ached at the thought of having to wait, but we were young and we had an eternity to love each other.

_~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~_

A month passed and I was sitting in my room creating a list of possible gifts I could buy for Bella's approaching birthday. She would be sixteen in a week and I wanted to do everything in my power to make this special for her. Unfortunately, a list was rather difficult to come up with.

Bella was a girl who liked the simple things in life, nothing too extravagant. She preferred a gift made by hand and always said she could feel the love that went into making it. I was never good with my hands so, against her wishes, I bought something special for her every year and this year would be no different. The dilemma I was facing now was what to buy for a girl with simple tastes when my every thought centered on how I would give her the world if I could. Thankfully, my focus was pulled from the empty paper in front of me as I heard my father's voice calling me from downstairs.

"Edward, can we speak with you for a moment?"

"Yes, Father," I answered.

I left my bedroom to meet my parents in the dining room, where we had all of our family discussions. They were seated, leaning close together and whispering to each other. They straightened with serious looks on their faces when I walked in.

"Father…Mother." I greeted them and walked slowly to take my place.

I was nervous, thinking I had done something wrong, but I didn't remember anything they could have been upset with me for. My father motioned to my chair and I sat facing them.

"Edward, your mother and I would like to speak with you about Isabella."

The look on his face caused me concern as he spoke the one sentence that could affect my whole life. If something happened to her I don't know what I would do. She was my life…my future; I didn't want to live without her.

"Is she sick…hurt? Please Father, tell me she is alright." I started to get up. "I have to go to her."

"No Edward, please sit. Isabella is fine. We would like to speak with you about your intentions where Isabella is concerned."

"My intentions?" I asked.

"Yes, Edward," he said. "It has been a year since you began your courtship. Have you considered what you want for your future?"

Thinking of Bella and our future always brought a smile to my face. She and I had talked about this so often, we had our whole life planned; my career, our home and our family, everything down to the last detail.

"Yes, Father. I want a future with Bella. I would take her as my wife tomorrow if I could, but I know that is not possible." My words were quick to leave my lips.

He laughed at my eagerness. "Well, there are a few things that need to be done first before that happens. You must speak to Mr. Swan before you begin to make any plans. He must give his consent before you can move forward."

"I know, Father. As soon as I have a ring to offer, I will ask Mr. Swan for Bella's hand."

My parents exchanged a look and a smile before focusing on me and I knew they were planning something.

"Son," my mother spoke, "that is what we would like to speak with you about."

I nodded, waiting for one of them to continue.

"Edward, your father has gifted me with many pieces of jewelry over the years. A few years ago, he gave me a ring that would replace the wedding ring he bought for me when we were first married."

She looked at my father with the loving smile she always had for him. He placed a kiss on her cheek and urged her to finish.

"I have watched your love for Isabella grow over the years and I know she feels the same. The two of you have reminded us how in love we were in the beginning and I promise you, Edward, it will only get better when you begin your life together."

My father pulled his handkerchief out of his pocket and touched my mother's eyes when tears began to form. I had always hoped to share the same kind of love my parent's had for one another, but with Bella, I was lucky to have found so much more.

When she was ready to go on, she looked back at me. "This has been sitting in a box for years." She showed me her wedding ring. "Your father and I have talked and we would be so greatly honored if you would take this and place it on Isabella's finger when you ask her to be yours forever."

My eyes went wide as I looked at my parents and then at the ring they were giving me. I never expected such a gesture and I didn't know what to say. I fully intended to purchase a ring for her on my own, but that was going to take some time. They were giving me more than I could ever ask for and I could never love them more than I did in this moment.

"You have no idea what this means to me. I thought it would be some time before I was able to buy something suitable for her, but this," I reached out to grab the box, "is more than I could ever ask for."

I jumped out of my chair and hurried to hug my mother. Her tears showed her joy and happiness and my repeated thanks told her that she had made me happier than ever. My father stood to shake my hand and give me a short hug of his own.

Minutes later, I rushed back to my room, closing the door behind me. I walked to my desk, crumpled up the piece of paper labeled 'Birthday gifts' and threw it away. Never in my life had I come up with a better birthday present for Bella than the one I held in my hand. I was holding the most precious of treasures and I knew there was only one thing left for me to do…face Charles Swan.

_~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~_

The time had come and I made my way across my yard to Bella's. The second my foot touched the bottom step leading to their front door, my pulse sped up. The next step caused my heart to beat faster. Once both feet were on their porch, my hands began to shake. This would determine the course my life…no…our lives would take. With one word, he held our future in his hands.

I raised my hand to knock and it was so quiet at first that he wouldn't have heard it. I took a few deep breaths and knocked harder. I almost pounded on their door so there was no question that he heard it this time. I took a step back and waited.

One minute…two…three. Every nerve in my body tensed as I took a step to the door to knock again. My hand was just about to make contact when their door opened slowly.

"Mr. Swan." I bowed slightly to greet him.

"Edward." He opened the outside door, standing in the opening.

I didn't know what to do. I had spoken with him discreetly yesterday to let him know I wanted to speak with him today, so my visit should not have been a surprise. My shaking hands were now beginning to perspire.

"You said you had something to speak with me about. Well, Isabella and her mother will be home soon. Is it your intention to stand out there until they return?"

"N-no, Sir. May I please come in?"

Mr. Swan smiled and stepped to the side. "All you had to do was ask, Son."

He motioned for me to go inside and as I stepped over the threshold, his hand clapped me on the back. I exhaled as I realized what his actions meant. In all the years I had known him, I had only ever seen him act like that with my father. My body relaxed when I understood that he was playing a game with me.

Now inside, I waited until he closed the door and motioned for me to enter the family room. I took a seat on one chair and he sat opposite me in the other. I nervously rubbed my hands together as all of my well thought-out words escaped me. I closed my eyes and took a breath to calm myself. When I opened them again, Mr. Swan was staring at me with a knowing smirk on his face.

No words came as I opened and closed my mouth several times. I never dreamed this would be so difficult. Bella and I had sat together in this room many times over the past year, discussing our future. But now, sitting here with her father, taking the first step in making our dreams a reality was almost too much.

"There is no need to be nervous, Edward," he said.

"Yes, Sir," I answered.

As soon as I spoke those two words, a bit of confidence returned and I was able to think and remember the words I wanted to say.

"Mr. Swan, I have had the privilege of being allowed in your home for the past sixteen years. I have also had the pleasure of growing up with Isabella and having her consider me a friend. She and I have done many things together over the last several years that you have seen as questionable, but I promise you, Sir, that I will not allow any harm to come to her."

He cleared his throat and I knew he was thinking of all the games I had taught Bella how to play over the years, none of which would be considered ladylike.

"Sir, being allowed to court Isabella over the past year has been the greatest gift I have ever received. She has become the center of my world and I would like to spend the rest of my life with her."

I cleared my throat, placed my hand over my heart and asked the most important question of my young life.

"Mr. Swan, I sit before you now as a man truly in love with your daughter, and I consider it a great honor to ask you for her hand in marriage."

He sat back in his chair, rubbing his chin with his hands. He really seemed to be thinking about this. Time passed slowly as I watched him sit there, shifting his eyes between me and the ceiling. I began to panic.

_He's going to say no. What was I thinking?_

I couldn't sit still any longer. If he wanted us to wait, I could deal with that. I would wait for Bella forever if I had to. But, if he was going to tell me no, I wish he would just do it and put me out of my misery. I shifted in my seat and rubbed my hands on my pants. Just when I was about to get up and walk out, he finally spoke.

"Edward," he said in a gruff voice, "if I leave my daughter in your care, how will I know that she will be taken care of?"

"Mr. Swan, I will begin looking for a job tomorrow if I have to but I assure you, Sir, that I will do whatever it takes to care for Isabella. She will have the best I can provide and when I'm out of school and begin my career, she will have the very best that life has to offer. She will never want for anything and I will love her until I take my last breath."

I was almost panting as I finished speaking. I desperately wanted him to believe me. I needed him to know how much Bella meant to me. My eyes grew wide as he put his hand back to his chin while he considered my words. Every word was the truth and I prayed he wouldn't doubt my sincerity. After an eternity, his face broke into a smile and I felt my chest relax as I let the air out of my lungs.

"Edward, I have watched you grow from a rambunctious young boy to a very mature and amazing young man. For the past ten years, I have watched you care for my daughter like she was a precious gem and I do not need any fancy words or romantic gestures to see how much you love my Isabella."

I could finally breath again as I believed he was going to give his approval. He sat forward on the chair, looking me right in the eye.

"It is customary that I ask Isabella what her feelings are for you and if a proposal is something she would accept but in this case, it is not necessary. I know how much Isabella loves you and I would never deny her the happiness she deserves. I believe she has found her perfect match in you."

He let out a small breath as he stood up and stretched his hand out to me. I jumped to my feet and accepted his hand.

"Edward…Son, you have my blessing to ask Isabella for her hand. I would be proud to have you join our family."

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><p><strong>Charlie, Charlie, Charlie it's not nice to make our sweet Edward sweat like that. But thanks for giving your permission; you've made our boy so happy. Now he just has to ask her. <strong>

**Thanks again for reading. As always, don't forget to tell me what you think. I love to hear it and every review will get you a tease from the next chapter. So, until next time…much love to you - D**


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story.

Thanks to my amazing team, Kate22689, Loulabelle and AgoodWITCH for working so hard to make this story look good. Love ya tons, ladies.

**SURPRISE! This chapter is coming to you early as my gift to you on my birthday. What makes me happy is to make my awesome readers happy and what better way to do that than to give you all the gift of Edward as he shows you his side of the events that happened the day before Bella's birthday. I hope you like it.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 05<strong>

Bella and I had spent part of every day this week together and it was getting harder to control my nerves whenever she was around. Tomorrow is Bella's birthday and I hoped it would turn into a big day for the both of us. Knowing my plans for the night, her parents already changed our dinner plans and invited Pastor Jameson to attend. His presence alone added a new level of pressure that I wasn't ready for, but I knew if I just focused on Bella, I could get through anything.

To take my mind off of things, I decided to let off some steam by playing, or attempting to play, stickball with Bella again. She still hadn't grasped the concept of the game and she still hadn't learned to hit the ball, but I was having fun trying to teach her. I watched as she gripped the stick incorrectly again for the hundredth time today and went to her to show her how to properly position her hands.

"Miss Bella, you have to put your hands near the bottom, like this."

I gripped the stick near the bottom with my hands close together and then handed it back to her so she could try again.

"I am never going to get this." She laughed and tried again. Her persistence was endearing.

When she had the proper grip, I walked back about ten feet so I could throw the ball to her. She would get this someday, I was sure of it. If she didn't, we had all the time in the world to try.

"Are you ready?" I asked.

"Yes, Edward." She smirked at me.

I released the ball with enough strength to reach her but not too much that she couldn't hit it. I heard the ball hit the stick and watched in surprise as the ball came straight at me.

"Oh Lord," I gasped as the ball hit me in the very place no man ever wanted to be hit.

I fell to one knee before lowering myself fully to the ground. I heard Bella's excited voice and wanted to be happy for her, but I was more concerned with catching my breath than anything else. I just let out a heavy breath when Bella was on her knees next to me, touching my head.

"Edward! Edward! Are you okay?" She was frantic.

As she touched me, my body heated up and reacted to her, only increasing my pain, and I couldn't stop the groan that escaped my lips.

"Edward, talk to me."

She was panicking now and I couldn't let her think I was hurt so I had to let her know I was okay. When I opened my eyes, her look of concern caused me to feel bad for making her worry. She grabbed my hand and touched my forehead softly like she didn't want to hurt me any more than I had been.

Finally, I had gained enough breath to speak. "Remind me to move next time."

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I didn't expect to hit it."

She looked closely at my forehead again, searching for an injury that she wasn't going to find one. As a gentleman, I would never tell her where the ball really hit me.

"This is a stupid game and someone could get hurt."

She looked like she was ready to cry, so I decided to tease her a bit to ease the tension in the air.

"Miss Bella," I whispered.

I reached up and turned her face a little so she looked me in the eye. She was so close and my heart skipped a beat with the growing desire to kiss her, but I knew I shouldn't. I wanted to marry her someday and she deserved more than a man who would choose to dishonor her before her wedding day. So I pushed my desires away and calmed myself enough to speak.

"You don't hit hard enough to hurt me," I teased.

She narrowed her eyes at me and pushed off of my stomach to get away from me. I knew she hated being teased and I couldn't disguise my laughter, as her reaction was exactly what I expected it to be.

She always did the same thing when she got upset with me. She would make her frustrated, grunting sounds, which she did, then she would stomp away and sulk until I would go to find her and apologize. She and I both knew that I would because I truly hated when she was upset with me.

I heard the door slam and Mrs. Jones scream her full name and it made me laugh harder because I also knew that her temper got her into trouble often. I decided to clean up our things as she calmed herself down a little in the house before I would go find her, of course, to apologize.

I was thinking of what to say to her as I picked up the ball and stick from our game, throwing them over the fence into my yard. I pictured her pouting face as she tried to stay mad at me and the way her lips would twitch as she fought off her smile. I couldn't stop the smile spreading across my face as I pictured hers.

As I turned to go find her, I noticed her sweater lying over the back of the chair where she left it when we started playing. I picked it up, dusting off a small leaf that landed on it and folded it neatly to return to her. Before I took a step, the strangest urge came over me and I lifted her sweater to breathe in the smell of her. Again, my heart jumped as her scent ran through me.

It was too much to take and I had to sit before I my knees gave way. The smell alone was enough to warm my body and fill my heart with love for her, which brought back my nervousness for tomorrow. The night needed to be perfect so it would be something she would remember and cherish for the rest of her life. So I did the one thing I hadn't done yet…I looked up and prayed to the heavens that my proposal would be worthy of the angel they sent to me.

_Please, dear Lord, you have gifted me with an angel to love, cherish and protect. It is my deepest desire to marry her, to do right by her, always treating her with the utmost respect for as long as you allow me to be in her life. Please give her the heart to accept my proposal and make me the happiest man on the face of this Earth. _

I felt my nerves calm again as I finished, but sat a minute longer before I would go find Bella. I heard the door slam and Mrs. Jones scream again as my head snapped to see Bella running to me. I jumped to my feet as she flew into my arms and I pulled her close, holding her as tightly as I could.

"I am sorry, Miss Bella," I apologized. "I didn't mean to make you angry."

My world was right again with her in my arms and my hand moved to stroke her hair gently to show her how sorry I was and to let her know she was loved. "Please forgive me."

"There is nothing forgive, Edward. I should not have run away from you like that. I can't be upset with you. I love you."

My heart went crazy when she told me she loved me and I thanked the Lord for giving me such hope for tomorrow. I knew she would say yes, there was no doubt in my mind anymore. Bella loved me as much as I loved her and tomorrow we would take our first step toward being together forever.

There was no stopping the kiss I placed on her forehead, and I heard her gasp just before she turned to look at me. Her innocent beauty took my breath away and I placed my hand on her cheek just to feel her soft skin under my fingertips. Her hand covered mine as we stared into each other's eyes with so much emotion that it made my heart ache for her.

"I love you, Miss Bella."

I locked our fingers together and placed our hands over my heart, hoping she could feel how much I loved her with every beat. I was lost to the emotion flooding through me in that moment and the desire to claim her as mine was too much.

"Forget proper," I whispered as I rushed to kiss her.

The feeling of her lips on mine was more than I could take, releasing a passion in me I didn't even know I had. I had already kissed her once but that was nothing compared to the way she made me feel now. Nothing in the world was this good and nothing in my life could ever match the fire I felt between us when we came together this way.

As I gained control of myself, I placed my hand back on her cheek, pulling back to kiss her gently. We fit together so perfectly that I never wanted this to end, but I knew we had to stop this or risk getting caught. Bella was the one to pull away first, leaving us both fighting to take a breath. My forehead touched hers as my body struggled to keep from closing the distance between us again. I gave in, just a little, and brushed my lips against hers one last time.

When I opened my eyes to her, I felt tremendous guilt for what I had just done. I owed her more respect than to kiss her out in the open and risk her reputation. I wasn't sorry for kissing her, but I should have done it in a place where our indiscretion couldn't be witnessed by anyone passing by.

"I'm sorry, Miss Bella. I know our first kiss should have been on our wedding day, but I have wanted to do that for so long now. I couldn't help myself."

Her giggle told me I wasn't in trouble with her.

"Edward, please don't apologize. I have also had to fight the urge to do the same thing." She touched my cheek this time. "You love me…"

"With every beat of my heart." I finished her sentence.

"And I love you. It's only natural for us to want this. It's society that keeps us from doing what we wish."

Societal rules be damned. I would give anything, do anything for the chance to be with her and show her and everyone else how much I loved her.

"Well then, please tell me how to speed up time so I can marry you and I can kiss you any time I want."

We laughed at the absurdity of my request, knowing no such thing was possible. I pulled her into my arms again and vowed to wait patiently for the day I would take her as my wife. Minutes passed and I heard the door open and Mrs. Jones' voice calling Bella's name. As much as I hated to do it, I loosened my hold on her so we could both see Mrs. Jones as she informed us our time was at an end for the day.

"Miss Bella, your father is home."

"I will take my leave, Miss Bella," I said, as panic settled into her eyes.

I kissed each of her hands as I always did before leaving her and then took off running towards my house, jumping the fence when I got to it. I grabbed the stick and the ball and took a step toward my house before she called my name, causing me to turn.

"Oh, Edward. Please don't think I'm counting, but that was our second kiss."

"Good evening, Miss Bella."

I bid her good night before the temptation to jump back over the fence became too strong. I walked to my back door, but couldn't resist letting her know that she wasn't alone.

"Oh, Miss Bella. You may not be counting, but I am."

With a smile, I walked into the house, calling for my mother the second the door closed. She answered from her sewing room, so I went to find her there. She told me to come in when I knocked, and I saw her sitting at her sewing machine, buried in blue fabric.

"What has you so happy?" she asked.

"She's going to say yes tomorrow." I wanted to jump with excitement. "She's going to marry me."

"I know, dear. She has loved you for so long. I can't imagine how you would have any doubts."

She never took her eyes away from her project, bringing out my curious side.

"What are you making?" I asked, picking up a piece of the discarded material. Silk…I was reminded of the feeling of Bella's skin.

"A dress." She shrugged.

"Why?" Dresses filled her closet and I didn't see the need for one more.

"For tomorrow, Edward." She chuckled. "It is a very special occasion, is it not?"

"Yes, it is…so very special. And it is one day I need to be prepared for, so I will leave you to your work. I can't wait to see what masterpiece you create this time."

My mother was like an artist with a sewing machine. Every dress she owned was handmade and they were beautiful; each one unique. There were occasions when she sold her creations, but not often. She made her dresses for herself, but every once in a while, she made an exception. I leaned over to kiss her on the top of her head.

"Good night, Mother."

"Good night, Edward."

~..~..~..~..~..~..~

I'd been in my room for hours trying to find the right words to say to Bella, but nothing was ever good enough. Nothing I came up with seemed like enough to express the gratitude I felt for having been lucky enough to spend so much of my life with her. And no words could capture the immense joy it would bring me if she would marry me. After throwing another sheet of paper into the already full waste bucket, I pulled my pocket watch off the desk to check the time. Bella's birthday party was scheduled to begin at six the next evening. I had less than eighteen hours to come up with words to express how special she was to me.

"Eighteen hours?" I whispered the words in question.

My smile grew as the idea formed itself in my head. I dressed quickly, snuck out of the house and leapt the fence into Bella's yard. I ran to the garden, gathering all the small pebbles I could find and filled my pockets.

I knew her parents slept in the room on the opposite side of the house with their window facing the front of the house and my room had the only window facing Bella's yard, so if I was quiet enough this would work. I took a handful of pebbles from my pocket and began the assault on Bella's window.

I had never known my Bella slept so heavily. The evidence being the amount of time I spent under her window and my almost empty pockets. If she didn't wake soon, my efforts would be wasted. I pulled the last handful of pebbles from my pocket and was just about to throw another one when I saw her face peak around the corner of her window. It actually worked and now I could tell her what I came here for.

"Edward, it's the middle of the night. What are you doing here?" she whispered to me.

"I couldn't wait to see you, Miss Bella," I whispered back.

"Do you know what my father would do to you if he caught you here?"

"Probably the same as my father, but I couldn't wait," I said, as the thought of my father killing me for this passed through my mind.

"What are you talking about? Wait for what?" She turned her head quickly, probably thinking she heard a noise. She was always afraid of getting caught for something. "You're going to get caught. You need to go home, Edward, before my father wakes up."

"I can't leave…not yet."

"Why not? What could be so important that you risk coming here at this hour?"

Her worry was justified, but she was worth any punishment I had to endure for getting caught.

"You, Miss Bella." I looked to my own house, hoping my parents were sleeping soundly. "I can't sleep and it's because of you."

"You'll be here tomorrow and it will be at a time that won't have my father wanting to kill you."

"But that's just it…it is tomorrow and I couldn't sleep. I couldn't sleep, Miss Bella, until I told you happy birthday."

Her deep blush was even visible in the darkness. I loved seeing that color on her face, knowing it was there because of things I would say or do for her.

"Edward, I love you." She was smiling wider now. "You are the most wonderful, loving and - "

She turned again, but this time when she turned back, she looked truly worried. It was time for me to leave.

"Someone's coming," she whispered. "Please go, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight, my love." I blew her a kiss and ran back home.

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><p><strong>Gah, who doesn't want an Edward of their very own. I know I do. His sweet, loving ways make him the perfect man for any girl out there. Bella is definitely one lucky girl.<strong>

**Thanks again for reading. As always, don't forget to tell me what you think. I love to hear it. Also, a quick note, I have finally ventured further into the electronic age and created my own blog. It's pretty basic right now, but I'll figure it out eventually. I'll post teasers for upcoming chapters for all my WIPs, give story recs and maybe just general musings. If you check it out tomorrow, there will be a teaser for chapter 6, which will be posted as normal on Friday. Check it out at: www(dot)mizzdee-ff(dot)blogspot(dot)com**

**And yes…you heard me right, there will be two chapters posted this week. My birthday present to you will bring us closer to Bella's birthday, and we all remember what position I left Edward in at the end of her party. So, until Friday…much love to you - D**


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story.

Thanks to my amazing team, Kate22689, Loulabelle and AgoodWITCH for working so hard to make this story look good. Love ya tons, ladies.

**I have to give love to all of you who have clicked that alert and favorite button. You mean so much to me and I appreciate it. Since you've all been waiting for this day, I won't keep you. See you at the end. **

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><p><strong>Chapter 06<strong>

Five minutes before we were supposed to walk out the door, my mother was still fixing the collar of my jacket. My father and I both told her it was fine, but she kept fussing. I knew she was just as nervous as I was, and this was her way out letting that frustration out. I grabbed her hands to still them.

"Mother, everything is going to work out just the way it should." I kissed her cheek. "There's no need to worry."

"My son is going to take the biggest step of his life," she addresses my father, "and he tells me not to worry."

"Come, dear. If we don't go now, he'll never get to take that step." My father grabbed her hand from mine and ushered her out the door, with me following close behind.

Within minutes, Mr. Swan met us at the door and welcomed us into their home.

"Edward," he clapped his hand on my shoulder, "how are you, Son?"

"I'm fine, Sir." My voice cracked, he laughed.

"You'll be just fine." He looked me directly in the eye and spoke his next sentence. "You have always been there to love and care for my little girl. She will say yes and spend her life loving you the same way. I have no doubts, Edward, and you shouldn't either."

His words calmed me more than he knew, and I was grateful that he was standing behind us. Knowing how precious Bella was to him, his support and trust meant the world to me, and I would never take that for granted.

"Young Mr. Masen," Pastor Jameson greeted me, shaking my hand. "When your father told me you were ready to take this step, I said a prayer for you and Miss Swan. The two of you are a perfect match, a union celebrated in heaven."

"Thank you, Pastor. It is good to have the blessing of the church."

Mrs. Jones interrupted us then, gathering everyone at the bottom of the stairs for Bella's arrival. I know Bella hated this part, she was never one to be the center of attention, but she was beautiful and deserved to have every eye in the room on her when she walked in.

I stood at the foot of the stairs with Mr. Swan, waiting for my angel to show herself, but when she stepped into view, I lost all ability to breathe. My eyes widened as I took in the beauty before me in her new blue silk dress. My mother told me the dress was for the party, but I had no idea that it was a dress for Bella. It fit her perfectly and she looked more glorious tonight than she ever had.

I was supposed to take a step forward, but my frozen muscles wouldn't move. Bella descended two stairs when my father nudged me from behind, clearing his throat to get my attention. My smile was immediate as the trance she held me in was lifted, and I stepped forward, waiting for her to make her way down to me.

Her pace was torturous as she inched closer to me. When she finally reached the bottom step, my frantic heartbeat drowned out every other sound in the room. The spell she cast overtook me again and my body was still as a statue. Her giggle brought me back to my senses and I shook my head to clear my mind.

I took another step forward, reaching my hand out to escort my angel. I wanted to speak but words failed me in her presence.

"M-Miss…uh…Bella." I tried to clear my head again. "You…wow…you're…" I felt a push to my shoulder as I shook off the last of my clouded thoughts. "Miss Bella, you are so…beautiful."

Her face flushed that beautiful red, enhancing her beauty. I was so lost to the exquisite beauty in front of me, every cell in my body so drawn to her that when her hand touched mine, I couldn't stop myself from wrapping her in my arms. My head fell from the weight of the moment and my cheek brushed against hers.

I wanted to kiss her, but somewhere in the back of my mind, my subconscious reminded me there were other people in the room. Then the point was made clear as I heard two very distinct voices behind me.

"Edward Masen!" My father called my name.

"Isabella Swan!" Her father growled hers.

I didn't want to break our connection, she felt so good in my arms. With her father behind me, however, propriety ruled all and I apologized to her for having to let go. "Sorry, my love."

The second I backed away from her, my father had his hand on my shoulder and he pushed me out the door. I knew I was in trouble, but I would never see my actions as wrong. I was holding my future wife in my arms, what could be so wrong with that? When he spun me to face him, I had to hide the grin I had a second ago so I did not incur more of his wrath.

"Edward, what were you thinking? How dare you force yourself on Isabella in such a way!" He paced the length of the porch. "I did not raise you to be so disrespectful."

"I'm sorry, Father. I had an extreme lapse in judgment but I promise you, it will never happen again." I hoped he would listen and not draw this out any longer.

"Do you realize what you could have done to Isabella's reputation? Does she mean so little to you?" His fury was something I hadn't expected.

"No Father. She means the world to me and I would never risk hurting her." I couldn't believe he would even think that. "My actions were not deliberate. Just the sight of her walking toward me, looking so beautiful, I had no conscious thought."

"You must apologize to Mr. Swan and the others; let them hear that you meant no disrespect. And I want your promise that you will never humiliate me, your mother or Isabella ever again."

"I will never be so reckless again, Father. I meant no harm."

He turned his back, walking towards the door and I followed. My father held the door open and I caught sight of Bella, standing in front of her father. She looked as if she had received the same lecture I had just received. I immediately went to her side and took her hand, not willing to let her face this alone.

My father spoke first, giving the same lecture as outside, only in a more delicate manner. "Edward, I did not raise you to be so cavalier with a lady. The two of you have shown a complete lack of respect for everyone in this room and it is not something I will stand for."

"How dare you two embarrass your mothers and us that way!" Mr. Swan held back so much of his anger as he spoke. I couldn't lose his trust now. "Pastor Jameson did not come here to see such a display of impropriety. Isabella, you have been raised as a lady and I expect you to act as such. What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I am sorry, Father. I did not mean to embarrass you or you, Mr. Masen. I was simply lost to the moment."

I was ready to defend her, but she spoke with such assurance that it didn't seem necessary. I squeezed her hand and when she looked up at me, I felt the overwhelming urge to kiss her again just as I had the day before. I fought against the grin threatening to appear on my face, knowing it would not have helped matters any. Besides, now was not the time, we, or should I say, I had to stand up to our fathers and defend our actions. In the last second before I moved my eyes from hers, I hoped she was able to see the look of determination in my eyes, saying that I would take care of this. With my focus now on my father, I placed my hand over my heart to convey the sincerity in my words.

"Father, I apologize again for my abhorrent behavior. Mr. Swan, I truly apologize for any disrespect I have brought to you and your home due to my actions. I was momentarily overwhelmed by her beauty and my love for her, that I simply lost all rational thought. I promise you both that I will never allow another lapse in judgment while in the presence of others."

I added the last few words for Bella to hear, letting her know that I would love very much to kiss her again. We would just have to be careful if it were to ever happen again. I knew by my father's face that he accepted my apology, but as I looked at Mr. Swan, I began to worry. However, a couple of seconds after the words left my mouth, Mr. Swan's lips twitched, and I hoped that was a good sign.

"I am going to trust that you will keep your word, Edward. I will not have my daughter's good name tarnished in any way." I wanted to laugh at the relief I felt, knowing he believe me.

"You have my word, Sir." I bowed to him out of respect and gratitude.

"Isabella, I will expect you to live up to your good name and think about how your actions affect the both of you…and us." My father's stern warning was for Bella. I squeezed her hand again to let her know everything was okay.

"Yes, Mr. Masen." She gave him her own assurance.

"Now then, let's not keep our guests waiting," Mr. Swan said as he stepped aside for us to pass.

With our backs turned away from our fathers, I glanced to the side to see Bella smiling up at me. I could see in her eyes that she was just as unrepentant as I was over the whole matter. It will be so nice once we no longer have to keep up with proper societal rules.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Dinner was excruciating. For everyone else, the conversations flowed around the room but for me, it was a struggle to keep the smile on my face as my nerves and anxiety were threatening to take over. I tasted nothing and scarcely joined in the conversations, the only thing really keeping me from hyperventilating was the smile on Bella's face as she talked and laughed with everyone.

Just as I was about to completely lose control, Mr. Swan took pity on my and suggested we all step into the family room for some light conversation. The day I asked for his permission to marry Bella, I told him that I wanted to propose on her birthday and he came up with the plan to do it at the end of the night so everyone left with good thoughts for us. So as we all walked into the other room, I knew the time was at hand.

Bella walked arm and arm with my mother, and even though I didn't know what was being said, I knew Bella was hiding something because she was biting down on the left side of her lip. I had seen that face many times growing up, it was one of those things she always did when she wasn't telling the whole truth. I stood by the fireplace while I watched her, but I was immediately surrounded by every man in the room.

"Son," my father started, "how are you feeling?"

Well, I was doing okay while I had Bella to focus on, but now that he brought my attention back to the matter at hand, my anxiety reached new heights. Of course, I would never tell him that though.

"I'm ready, Father. I have been waiting for this day." I let out a small breath.

"As I said before," Pastor Jameson spoke, "the two of you are a perfect match, and if the embrace you shared as Miss Bella presented herself is any indication, she is just as ready for this as you seem to be."

"Pastor, I am so very sorry that happened. I meant no…" He silenced me with a raised hand.

"No need to apologize. I was not always in this position and I remember what it was like to be so young and in love."

My father's face instantly showed his worry over the situation. I had no regrets for the moment Bella and I shared at the start of the evening, my concern was for the impact it would have had on our families. Pastor Jameson's obvious acceptance of the situation and warm smile made me feel so much better.

In the minutes that passed, each one of them had words of encouragement for me, hoping to boost my confidence. The best coming from Bella's father as he told me about the intense feeling of relief, elation and love I would feel the second she said yes. I thanked them for everything they said just before they all moved to stand with their wives. Relaxation washed over me as I took Bella's hand from her mother as she took her place next to Mr. Swan.

"We would like to thank you all for coming tonight and celebrating our Isabella's birthday with us. This day has come faster that we thought possible, and today we stand before you as the very proud parents of a beautiful and wonderful young woman."

I tightened my hand around hers as he spoke and she looked up at me with tears in her eyes. She never believed herself to be the beautiful girl I always told her she was and it appeared to mean so much more to her to hear her father emphasize my words. I pulled my handkerchief from my pocket to wipe the tears from her eyes before her attention was back on her father.

"However…"

I knew with that one word that this was it. I tucked my handkerchief away, touched my pocket, feeling my mother's ring inside and prayed to God again that Bella would accept it from me. Before Mr. Swan finished speaking, I was on my knee waiting for her to turn.

I watched as her father nodded in my direction. Her head was up as she turned to find me where I would normally have been standing then her eyes went wider than I had ever seen them as she looked down to see me waiting for her. Her chin dropped, the tears returned to her eyes and the hand I was holding began to shake. My heart beat at a feverish pace as I began to speak.

"Miss Bella, for the past sixteen years, it has been a privilege for me to stand beside you as your best friend. And in that time, I have fallen so deeply in love with you that I cannot imagine my life without you by my side." I paused for a breath before continuing. "My beautiful angel, I am proud to be your best friend and you will make me the happiest and luckiest man on earth if you would be my wife. Isabella Marie Swan, will you marry me and make all my dreams come true?"

I pulled the ring out of my pocket and presented it to her. Tears were streaming down her face as she looked from it to me and before I expected it, she launched herself into my arms.

"Yes, Edward, yes. I will marry you."

"I love you, Miss Bella," I whispered.

"I love you, Edward, so much," she answered.

I held my angel close to me as Mr. Swan's words came back to me. He was right there was no describing the joy and intense happiness I felt as she said yes. It was a moment I would never forget for as long as I live and right now, in this second, there was nothing and no one that would make me let her go now.

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><p><strong>I love him. I love him. I love him. Sure Edward and Bella had to apologize for their behavior at the beginning of the night, but now that Bella has agreed to marry him, he could care less what anyone else in that room thinks. Good for him…or should I say them. <strong>

**Thanks again for reading. As always, don't forget to tell me what you think. I love to hear it. I will still be sending a tease to everyone who reviews, but don't forget to check my new blog for teasers as well. It's possible that you may get something different there. Check it out at: www(dot)mizzdee-ff(dot)blogspot(dot)com**

**Again, I want to give a huge thank you to all who have alerted, favorite and pimped out this story. You have made me a happy, happy girl. So, until next time…much love to you - D**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story. **

Thanks to my amazing team which has grown again. My newest and awesome pre-reader, ellachanted, and marvelous beta, Brooke, are joining Kate22689, Loulabelle and AgoodWITCH to help me make this the best story I can. Love ya tons, ladies.

**I do have to apologize for a couple of things. First, for posting this a little late and second, for not responding to all the reviews for the last chapter. RL is killing me right now and I've had no time. I will do my best to make sure it doesn't happen again. Now, on with the story.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 07<strong>

The past nine months have been the best I could ever remember. After Bella agreed to marry me, she and I had spent every available minute together; the most we had ever been allowed. Okay it, wasn't supposed to be that way since Bella's time was mostly occupied with going over the wedding plans with our mothers; but since I couldn't bear to be apart from her, I was allowed to join them.

Our fathers were quick to make jokes at my expense because that was "women's work" as they called it, but I couldn't care less. I was working with and supporting my angel. I was helping her to make our day as special as possible.

On most days it was actually fun to watch the three of them going over color combinations, decoration designs and napkin placements – the last of which got me kicked out of the room for several hours when I couldn't stop laughing. I received an evil glare from my mother when I asked why it mattered where the napkins were placed and then her mother pushed me out of the room. I heard Bella laughing as the door was closed in my face, but it was okay. She was happy and that was all that mattered to me.

That was a month ago and now that the planning was all but done, I had Bella to myself most days. Today, she surprised me by changing our plans and packing a picnic lunch to take to the park. It was the day before my birthday and she wanted to celebrate it privately with me. We found a nice spot under one of the biggest trees overlooking the lake and I couldn't help but notice the biggest smile on her face as I spread out our blanket.

"Why are you smiling, my pretty girl?" I asked as I helped her to sit.

"Can I not be happy? I am here on this beautiful day with the most amazing man on this earth, his birthday is tomorrow and…" her smile grew impossibly wider, "…he is going to marry me in four months."

My heart soared as I heard her speak of me this way. I couldn't possibly love her more than I did at that moment. I reached out and brought her as close to me as I dared in public, holding her hand in mine.

"In four months, my love, you will finally be mine in every way." I placed a kiss on her hand.

"I'm already yours, Edward." Her smile was blinding.

"Yes, but in four months, I can love you and kiss you anytime I want." I winked at her. "And no one will look at us as anything other than a young couple in love."

She giggled. "You can do that now, you know. I don't mind one little bit."

I leaned over a little, looking past her right shoulder and saw Mrs. Jones sitting ten feet away, giving us our privacy. I knew she could hear every word that was said. I don't know how she heard from her usual distance, but she did. She may have been on our side all this time, but I was not going to take advantage of that, even if Bella tempted me constantly.

"You may not, Miss Bella," I nodded in Mrs. Jones' direction, "but she will."

She giggled again and smiled up at me. "Okay, we can wait, but rest assured that I will be testing that theory of yours any chance I get."

I looked over Bella's shoulder one more time and saw the smile on Mrs. Jones' face. Yes, she heard every word. I turned my attention to the picnic basket Bella packed for us and began to unload the contents. When I came to a small box, Bella put her hand on mine to stop me.

"Not that one."

I looked at her, confused.

"Save that one for later." She smirked. She was up to something.

It really was a beautiful day and being with Bella just made it so much better. We spent the hour talking while we ate our lunch. She thought of everything and made sure I was well taken care of. As we ate the last few bites of our food, her smile came back and her eyes moved from me to the picnic basket.

"I know that smile, Miss Bella. What are you up to?"

She gasped, staring at me with wide eyes. "Who me? Edward, I would never."

"You act like I haven't known you your whole life." I grinned at her. "You cannot get anything by me and you know it."

Her blush was adorable as it crawled up her neck and settled on her cheeks. The hint of color always enhanced her beauty and I wanted nothing more than to kiss her. I leaned in slowly and Bella's eyes fluttered closed, knowing what I wanted. Just before my lips touched hers for the third time in my life, I caught a glimpse of Mrs. Jones, shaking her head with a smirk on her face. Remembering where we were, I reluctantly pulled back.

"Sorry, Miss Bella, I lost my head for a brief second," I whispered.

She gave me the cutest little growl before her eyes opened and she glared at me. It took everything in me not to laugh at the look on her face.

"You can't tease me like that you know." She tried to sound angry but I knew she wasn't really upset with me.

"I am so very sorry, Miss Bella." I spoke with the most innocent voice I could. "I promise not to do it again."

"Well, let's not make any promises." She smirked at me.

The laugh I tried so hard to hold back finally escaped me and she laughed with me. I took her hand and kissed it, silently plotting my next chance to kiss her for real.

"Oh, I have something for you," she said, suddenly excited.

She pulled her hand away from mine and reached into the picnic basket. I smiled when I watched her pull out the box she stopped me from opening earlier. I had to admit, I was extremely curious to find out what she brought for me. I sat up a little straighter as I waited for her to open the box.

"Edward, I love you and I wanted to do something special for you for your birthday. I started thinking about all the times we've shared together and I came up with the one thing I could give you that has always put the biggest of smiles on your face."

She had a sudden innocence about her as she spoke and the grin on her face when she handed me the box was sweet. As I began to open it, she spoke softly.

"At least I didn't need anyone's help this time."

I looked inside and couldn't control the smile that crossed my lips. I wished we were at home right now so I could hold her and kiss her so she knew how much I loved her.

"Happy Birthday, Edward."

My eyes moved to hers and her brilliant smile matched my own.

"This is the bestest cupcake ever. I love you so much, Miss Bella."

After kissing her hand again, I held out the cupcake to her so we could share it like we did every other time in our lives.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Seven weeks. Seven excruciating weeks to wait until Bella walked down that aisle to become my wife. The time would pass like nothing with her by my side, but two days ago we were informed that we would be doing our waiting alone. Bella's parents wanted to take one final vacation as a family before she left them to spend her life with me. I didn't want to lose the next six weeks we would have had together before the wedding, but I couldn't think of myself right now. Bella was not taking the idea of our separation well and comforting her had to be my top priority.

Mr. and Mrs. Swan were out for the afternoon making their final preparations and even Mrs. Jones was keeping her distance today, giving us a fair amount of privacy. I held Bella in my arms, taking full advantage of our time alone, as we sat together on her back porch for the last time before the wedding. They were leaving in the morning and I couldn't bear to let her go.

Neither of us wanted to be separated and there was no holding back today. Every tear, every touch and every breath we shared was a testament to how much we loved and would miss each other. A light brush of my lips against hers as I wiped her tears was all I could manage before I spoke.

"Shh…it'll be okay, Miss Bella," I whispered, touching my forehead to hers. "We've had seventeen years to be together. We're strong enough to handle six weeks apart."

Her tears were coming faster than I could wipe them away and it broke my heart to see her so upset. I needed to see her smile again before she left me.

She shook her head. "No, I don't…want…to go." Her words came between heavy breaths.

Kissing her lightly again, I whispered, "I don't want to be without you for so long either, my angel. I need your smile to carry me through the long weeks apart."

She shook her head again. "You're going to miss my birthday." More heavy breaths. "You have never missed my birthday."

I smiled as she said this and kissed her forehead. I did hate not being with her for the actual day, but I already had her gift ready for her and it was something she would be able to take with her.

"Miss Bella, I have something for you," I said as I wiped more tears away.

She opened her eyes to me for the first time since we sat down. They were red from the tears, but they held curiosity as she stared at me.

"You do?" she asked.

"Of course, I do. You didn't think I would let you leave without a birthday present, did you?"

I touched my finger to the tip of her nose playfully and got a small giggle from her. The sound meant more to me than anything in this moment. I reached to my side and pulled two boxes out of the bag I brought with me. She took the first box from me, pulling the ribbon off with shaking hands.

The smile on her face as she removed the top of the box was all the thanks I needed as she looked at the picture in front of her. It was a picture of us when we were seven years old, holding hands while we sat together in the middle of her backyard. I wrote a caption underneath that read, "Our love is eternal." Her eyes found mine again just before she wrapped her free hand around my neck and kissed me.

When we pulled away we were both breathing heavily but what excited me more was that her eyes were dry and her smile was brilliant. This was the face I wanted to see. This was my angel.

"Do you like it?" I asked without needing the answer.

"I love it, Edward." She held the picture to her chest. "I can take you with me now."

I laid my hand on her cheek. "As long as you love me, I will always be with you, Bella."

She gasped and her mouth fell open as she stared at me, wide-eyed.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" Her expression caused me concern.

She blinked a couple of times before smiling at me again. "You called me, Bella," she said slowly. "In all these years, you have never just called me Bella."

"I didn't mean any disrespect. I'm s…"

Her lips silenced me when I tried to apologize. I held her close, loving this day and these moments between us. Our kiss ended just like the last, with the two of us out of breath and our eyes locked on one another.

"No apologies, Edward. I liked it."

I pulled her to me again just to hold her this time. I loved to make her happy and if that was what it took to put that look on her face, then I was going to give her exactly what she wanted.

"Oh wait." I pulled away quickly. She was surprised. "I have one more present for you."

"What is it?"

"Close your eyes, Bella."

She was bouncing with excitement now as she did what I asked. I laughed at how happy and playful she was now compared to when we first sat down. I opened the box and pulled out her second present.

"I had to think of something special for you, but unlike you, I needed some help. My mother jumped at the chance to help me put a smile on your face." I touched my lips to her forehead. "I love you, Bella. Happy birthday."

She opened her eyes and focused on my hand. Looking up at me, she broke into a fit of laughter before kissing me again. Bella pulled away just enough that her lips were still touching mine as she spoke.

"Now this is the bestest cupcake ever."

~..~..~..~..~..~..~

The loneliness I felt in the two weeks following our tearful goodbye was nearly crippling. Every cell in my body missed her and the emptiness her lack of presence created. It weighed on me every time I looked at her empty backyard and darkened house at night. Bella had only been gone for fifteen days and I was cursing the sun and the moon for not moving faster to pass the time to bring my love home to me.

Day sixteen started just as they all did with me dreading getting out of bed. However, I was accompanying my mother to the market today so moping in bed was not an option. Rushing through my morning routine had me finished and ready to go by exactly 9 am. My mother loved to get her errands done early so she could round out the day in her sewing room, making her dress for the wedding.

As we were on our way out the door, I noticed my father's car still parked in front of the house. This was a normal workday for him and my father was not one for missing days. Halfway to the market, my curiosity got the better of me.

"Mother, did father not go to work today? Is everything okay?"

She smiled and patted my arm.

"Your father is fine, Edward. He is just feeling a little under the weather at the moment and is spending some time in bed," she said with such assurance that I almost couldn't doubt her…almost.

"He never stays home, Mother. Are you sure this isn't something more serious?"

"Edward, your father has shown some signs of a fever and dizziness, so it's best he stays home for now." She patted my arm again, squeezing a little to calm me. "He will be back on his feet and as good as new in no time."

I let the subject go as she asked. She knew my father better than anyone and if she said he was okay, then I would believe her. We spent the rest of the morning shopping and once we had all that we came for, walked leisurely back home.

Day twenty-one began and I slowly dragged myself out of bed. I still missed Bella terribly but there was some work that needed to be done around the house, so there was no lying around for me again. After I was dressed for the day I walked into the kitchen for breakfast and my father was sitting in his normal seat, still looking no better than he had in the past five days.

Laying a hand on his shoulder, I asked, "Are you feeling any better, Father?"

"A little better today, Son. The fever has subsided a little only now there are pains in my body that were not there before." He offered me a weak smile. "Your mother had to force me out of bed this morning so I could eat a proper meal."

"Well, you know what happens when you don't do as she asks," I said, trying to sound light hearted while hiding my frown.

"That I do, Son. That I do." He attempted a laugh but it quickly turned into a deep throated cough.

There was no hiding my frown now as I fully took in his appearance, his words and that awful cough. He was not as well off as both he and my mother led me to believe. My mother was by his side in seconds, helping him out of his chair and escorting him back to bed, where he stayed the rest of the day.

Later that evening I heard my mother's frustrated voice coming from her sewing room. I knocked and waited a few seconds before she allowed me to enter the room. Hearing her angry, muttered words and seeing the scissors in her hand as she moved to cut a piece of material away, worried me and I called out to her.

"Stop! What are you doing?"

I rushed to grab her wrist before she ruined her nearly completed dress. Her sniffles caught me by surprise as I realized she had been crying.

"It's ruined!" she spoke through her tears. "I don't have time to start again. The wedding is in four weeks and I have so much to do and there's no time and I can't believe…."

"Mother," I kneeled next to her and placed a hand on her cheek, "it's okay. Please calm down."

I pulled her into an embrace as she cried on my shoulder. I knew she was worried about my father. She was working herself to the bone trying to care for him and it was finally coming to the surface. When she had finally calmed, she pulled away and apologized to me.

"There's nothing to apologize for." I removed the handkerchief from my pocket to wipe her cheeks and eyes. "Now, show me what has you so upset. I'm sure it can be fixed."

She was working on the bottom hem of her dress and the material had moved slightly, causing the stitching to create a one-inch line upward. I didn't want to make light of her concerns, but her dress wasn't ruined. In fact, with the deep color of the dress and the location of the mistake it would have never been seen.

"I think I've been working too hard and I am so tired, Edward. My back and arms have begun to hurt, my fingers started to lose feeling when this happened." She grabbed the scissors again. "This worthless piece of fabric can't…"

I grabbed the scissors again and moved them to the floor behind me so she couldn't reach them again.

"Mother, the dress is fine. This can be fixed. I promise we'll fix it..." I touched her cheek again, "…tomorrow. It's late now, and you need your rest."

"Thank you, Edward. You're such a good boy," she said quietly.

She leaned in, kissing my forehead before allowing me to guide her to her room. I left her at her door, kissing her goodnight before making my way to my room to hopefully sleep the stress of this whole day away.

A piercing scream shocked me out of my dreams of Bella. Sitting straight up in bed, silence filled my room and I wondered if I imagined the sound. Just as I was about to dismiss it, my mother's scream reached my ears again. I jumped out of bed and rushed to their bedroom, bursting through the door.

I was met with the sight of my father lying on the floor, coughing so hard he looked like he was racked with convulsions. I was on the floor by his side and, at this distance, I could see the drops of blood that flew from his mouth as he coughed.

"Edward…Edward, please speak to me," my mother begged as she shook his body.

I didn't know what to do. I tried to help my father while attempting to calm my mother at the same time had me at a loss. Another round of coughs and more blood spurred me into action.

"We need to get him to a hospital!" I yelled at her so she would hear me over her wailing cries. "I'll get him downstairs and into the car while you get dressed."

She didn't move an inch from his side.

"Mother!" I yelled at her again as I grabbed her arm. "We have to go now!"

She ran to her closet, ripping out the first clothes she saw as I lifted my father to his feet. I slipped my bare feet into his slippers so I could take him to the car. My mother beat me to the door and held it open for me. Another torturing round of coughs moved through him as I loaded him into the car.

He was finally settled and I rushed to get behind the wheel of the car. Panic began to hit me as I sped through the nearly empty streets, and brought the car to a screeching halt in front of the hospital's emergency entrance. I screamed for help as I threw the car door opened and ran to pull my father out. Three men took him from my arms, rushing him inside while my mother and I followed.

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><p><strong>Poor Papa Masen. We all knew he was going to get sick but did it have to happen so soon. I feel sorry for Edward for having to deal with Bella's absence and his father getting sick. It's a lot to take for someone so young. How will he manage?<strong>

**Thanks again for reading. As always, don't forget to tell me what you think. I love to hear it. I will still be sending a tease to everyone who reviews, but don't forget to check my new blog for teasers as well. It's possible that you may get something different there. Check it out at: www(dot)mizzdee-ff(dot)blogspot(dot)com**

**Again, I want to give a huge thank you to all who have alerted, favorite and pimped out this story. You have made me a happy, happy girl. So, until next time…much love to you - D**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story. **

**Thanks to my amazing team. I couldn't do this without you: ellachanted, ****vintagecarousel****, Kate22689, Loulabelle and AgoodWITCH Love ya tons, ladies.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 08<strong>

It was a long night with the doctors and nurses poking and prodding him, checking and rechecking his breathing, his pulse and everything else they could think of. Every time he fell asleep they were back again doing one thing or another to keep him awake. My mother refused to leave his side and, other than the short trip to move our car, I refused to leave hers.

My father had always been a strong, healthy man but by the time the sun came up, he looked frail and he had lost all color in his face. I didn't know how much more he could take and if they couldn't help him soon; I feared we would lose him.

My mother was sitting next to him, holding his hand and whispering to him to hold on until the doctors helped him get better. Wanting to give them some privacy, I stood up to make my way through the curtains drawn around his bed. Just as I grabbed one side of the opening, a hand gripped the other side to pull the curtain open.

"Oh! Excuse me," he said.

My head snapped to my parents and my mother's head lifted when she heard his voice. I took a step back to let him move past me and before he did, he placed something in my hand. He then walked to my father's bedside and handed the same object to my mother.

"Mrs. Masen, I have to ask that you and your son put these masks on."

We looked at him, then each other and after a few short seconds, we did as he asked.

"Mrs. Masen, I am Dr. Cullen." He flipped through his papers. "I have been checking your husband's charts this morning and…" His eyes worried me and I moved to stand behind my mother. "…there really is no good way to tell you this, but your husband has contracted the Spanish Influenza virus."

I heard my mother gasp and she gripped my hand. "What does that mean? Can you help him? When will he get better?"

The look of deepest regret crossed his features and I knew what his response would be.

"I'm so sorry to say, his illness has advanced to a point where there is little we can do for him."

"What? No." My mother broke down into tears before leaning over to my father again. "No. That can't be, my darling. He's wrong. He has to be." She coughed a little. "You are so strong, Edward, and I know you will come home to us."

"Mrs. Masen, please…"

"No!" she snapped at him. "How dare you come in here and - "

"Mother!" My voice was stern and sounded so much like my father's.

She steadied herself. "I know my husband, Dr. Cullen. He will come through this…this… whatever this is. It doesn't even sound like a real medical condition. Do you know what you are? You're a -"

"Mother!" I stopped her again before she said something that no lady should ever say.

"It is quite alright, Mr. Masen."

"Please, call me Edward," I said to him.

"Edward, why don't the three of us go somewhere more private to speak? I can explain in more detail what exactly we're dealing with."

I looked to my mother, her head resting on top of my father's chest as she whispered words only he could hear. My focus shifted back to Dr. Cullen.

"She won't leave him and I mean no disrespect, Dr. Cullen, but I will not leave her either."

"That is very admirable, Edward. Please have a seat."

I simply nodded and as I moved to take a seat next to my father's bed, I noticed my mother wasn't speaking anymore. I leaned in to get a better view of her face only to see she had fallen asleep lying on my father's chest. Seeing her face looking so peaceful for the first time since yesterday morning comforted me some. She was finally getting some sleep, even if that sleep had to be brought on by tears.

"Her fear is understandable," he spoke softly, also looking in her direction. "Very little is known right now about this virus. We have been studying this since it first appeared eight short months ago. At the time, it was diagnosed as a typical flu virus and it was only fatal in the very young or the elderly. Healthy young men like yourself or your father were able to recover easily. We believed it would be easily contained." He took a deep breath.

Fully absorbing his words, I realized he was speaking in the past tense. I looked towards my parents again with an awful pain in my chest as I thought of what his words meant for my father.

"However, what we're dealing with now is a new strain of the virus and it is more lethal than ever before. Our challenge is that this virus acts very much like the typical flu, with most of the same symptoms; fatigue, chills and fever, backaches and headaches, tingling in the fingers, pain in the extremities, nausea and vomiting, dizziness and severe coughing just to name a few. Most people will not see this as anything other than the flu, dismissing their symptoms while waiting to get better. Unfortunately, with the speed at which this virus attacks the body, that just doesn't happen." He paused to look at his chart. "Based on what your mother has told us, I know you've seen many of these symptoms with your father, am I correct?"

I nodded, unable to trust my voice.

"The sad thing here is that it is not the virus itself that kills. It is the on-set of pneumonia or some other disease that causes a patient's death. And I believe, because he is coughing up blood, that he…" He shifted in his chair a little, but didn't continue with his original sentence. "You are very young, Edward, and I should not be talking to you about this, not without your mother's consent."

"With all due respect, Dr. Cullen," I had to clear my throat, trying to gain some composure, "you're telling me that my father is going to die." I spoke through gritted teeth, fighting to hold back tears. "His death makes me the man of the house. I will be the one left to care for my mother. So I believe it is my right to know."

I gripped the edges of the chair, praying to hold on to every bit of control I had left. When I finally let go, I flexed my fingers a little to help with the pain of holding it so tight. Dr. Cullen looked at me with an odd expression and then shook his head as if to dispel whatever thought came to his head.

"You are a strong young man, Edward, and a good son. Your mother is definitely going to need you…soon."

His eyes showed great concern as he spoke and I couldn't help but think he was holding something back; something he either couldn't or didn't want to tell me. Whatever it was though didn't matter because he'd just told me my father will soon die and it would fall on me to take care of my mother. How was I going to help her through this?

The silence in the room was maddening and my head began to hurt with all the information Dr. Cullen had just given me. As I processed his words, my eyes were stuck on the floor and my fingers were massaging my temples in hopes to relieve the pain of my headache. The scrape of the chair's legs made me jump a little as he got out of his chair. A small squeeze to my shoulder caused me to look up at him. His face still had that look of concern when he spoke.

"I will leave you to be with your parents now. Please know that I am sorry, Edward. You should not have to bear this type of pain or responsibility at your age." He squeezed my shoulder again. "I'll be back later to check on your father."

I nodded my head, unable to answer as I moved to my father's bedside. My mother was still holding his hand while they slept. Seeing them this way, it was hard to believe they could be separated by anything. But if Dr. Cullen was right, their vow of "'til death do us part" would happen so much sooner than either had ever dreamed of.

Just the thought of their vows brought Bella to my mind. I had missed her greatly since she left me and I prayed every day that she would come home early so I could be with her again. Today, however, was the only day in these past three weeks that I thanked God she was gone. She didn't have to witness any of this or go through any of the sadness or pain that we would undoubtedly feel when my father lost this battle.

Another thought suddenly came to mind. Bella would be home in three weeks and our wedding was scheduled for the following weekend. This news would be so new to her and her parents and they would need time to grieve as well. I couldn't help but wonder, when she hears this news, would she even want to get married or would she want to postpone our wedding?

There were too many thoughts plaguing my mind and I wanted nothing more than to make everything stop. I wanted the peace my mother and father had suddenly found. So, following my mother's lead, I pulled the chair close to the bed, leaned over, resting my head on my arms and closed my eyes to see if I could also find that same peace it would take for me to sleep.

No sooner than I had closed my eyes, did I hear what sounded like a tense discussion happening on the other side of the curtain. I got up to see what was going on so I might try and help the situation before the noise woke my parents. As I stuck my head out of the curtain's opening, I saw Dr. Cullen arguing with one of the nurses. I took a small step back so he wouldn't see me eavesdropping on their conversation.

"Tell me why they weren't given masks?" Dr. Cullen growled at the nurse, while pointing toward the curtain I was hiding behind. "With the growing number of cases that we have been seeing, they should have been protected."

"Doctor, they're already showing symptoms of the illness. I didn't see the point in wasting our supplies." She spoke with such assurance.

"So you've taken it upon yourself to play God. Do you realize you may have just sentenced that entire family to death?" His hand was pulling at his hair. "I hope your supplies were worth it."

Her head dropped and he stomped off in the opposite direction, but I couldn't move. Lifting my hand to touch the mask covering my mouth and nose, I could feel my fingers tremble against my cheek. For the last twelve hours, I had been so concerned about my father, getting him here and getting him the help he needed was my top priority.

When Dr. Cullen spoke of my father dying, I thought that would have been it, that should have been the end of it, but I was wrong. I hadn't even considered the possibility of my mother, or myself for that matter, getting sick. The nurse said we were already showing symptoms and I had failed to notice.

Stumbling back to my chair, my mind went over my conversation with Dr. Cullen as I picked at the list of symptoms he rattled off. Last night in her sewing room, my mother had complained of being tired...fatigue, her back hurt…backaches, her arms hurt…pain in the extremities and she claimed to lose feeling in her fingers. That could be considered tingling in the fingers…couldn't it?

I watched my father attempt to fight off this sickness for the past five days and now, according to the doctor, he was literally on his deathbed. My mother sat with him through everything and she was now showing at least half of the symptoms on Dr. Cullen's list. So what did that say about me? Where did I fit into all of this?

I had this headache show up out of nowhere today. Sure, I had been tired,but I'd had to take over some of the things around the house that my father used to care for. I also had a sore back but I'd attributed that to the many hours I'd spent in bed, letting the depression over Bella's absence overpower me. The pain in my fingers earlier that I'd thought had come from gripping the chair too tightly could very possibly be another symptom. But I couldn't be sick, I felt perfectly healthy and I had too many responsibilities fall into my lap the second we walked through the hospital doors.

"_You may have sentenced that entire family to death."_

Dr. Cullen's words played through my mind on a constant loop, repeating over and over again. I looked to my parents again. It couldn't happen. I couldn't lose both of them to this. And worse, if I was showing symptoms, did that also mean I was going to die? It had taken five short days for my father to reach this point and I wouldn't see Bella again for three more weeks. I couldn't be sick, I just couldn't. I was not prepared to leave Bella, not this way…not without a goodbye.

I refused to sit around and wait for this…_thing _to claim my family. I had to do something…anything to keep that from happening. So, several times in the past few hours, I had checked at the nurse's station to see if they could send Dr. Cullen to see me, but it was no use. More patients had shown up and the staff rushed around the hospital trying to keep up. I was told to wait and he would come in to see me when he was able.

During those long hours of waiting, nurses continued to come in and out, checking my father to see if he was responding to any of the medication he'd been given. Each one had made comments about making my mother move from her perch on my father's chest, saying the added pressure wasn't good for his breathing. I told them, as politely as possible, that my mother would remain where she was until they were able to bring her a bed of her own and if they didn't, I would be bringing it up with Dr. Cullen. About thirty minutes later, the man himself was wheeling a bed into our little space.

"How did you know?" I asked suspiciously.

He smiled. "I heard you."

My eyes narrowed at his words. He wasn't being completely truthful with me. His eyes tightened when he saw the look on my face, and he spoke before I could ask.

"I happened to be checking up on the patient in the next stall when I overheard your threat."

I let it go and helped him make room for the bed. It took a few minutes to shuffle things around to make it fit, but when it was done, I scooped up my mother and laid her in the bed next to my father. She stirred and protested being moved. It was a weak attempt and I was able to keep her from crawling out of bed while Dr. Cullen examined my father one more time.

She continued to struggle and I wrapped her in my arms to keep her from moving. She argued and when that didn't work, she pulled her mask off to repeat herself, obviously thinking that it was keeping me from understanding what she wanted. I moved her away and held both her hands in one of mine while I tried to put the mask back on with the other. Before I got it in place, she began to cough and since she was facing me, I got the full brunt of it.

"Edward, your mask," Dr. Cullen said, sounding worried.

I felt Dr. Cullen immediately fumbling with my mask. I hadn't realized that, while struggling with my mother, my mask fell below my nose.

"Edward, you need to go wash your hands and face right now!" His eyes were wide as he pushed me away from my mother. He raised his voice when I didn't move. "Go now!"

His urgency scared me and I tore out of the room in search of the bathroom. I burst through the door, running straight for the sink. I ripped my own mask off and used the soap and water to scrub my face. After my face was rinsed off, I gripped the edge of the sink, breathing heavily and realizing that I had lost the battle against the tears I'd been fighting off all day.

Leaning over the sink, I broke down and let go of all the stress, worry, fear, loss and anger that had been pressing on me for weeks. This was all too much and I wasn't sure how much stronger I could be or how much more I could handle before I lost everything… my mother, my father, Bella and my life.

"Edward."

Dr. Cullen's voice was soft as he placed a hand on my shoulder. I didn't hear him come in and I couldn't stand for him to look at me right now, seeing the weakness that I let overwhelm me.

"Are you okay, Son?" I could hear his concern, but I still couldn't speak. "I'm here if you need to talk. I'll leave word with the nurses to find me if you need me."

He patted my back softly a couple of times before his hand lifted and he walked towards the door.

"Is my mother going to die?" I choked out the words.

"We're doing everything we…"

"I need the truth, Dr. Cullen." I couldn't relax my grip on the sink for fear of falling. "You've told me my father will die. Will my mother…" The words caught in my throat, unwilling to be spoken. Clearing my throat, I tried again with a different question. "How much longer do I have with her?"

I heard him release a breath and then nothing. Long seconds passed while I waited to see if he would tell me the truth. Defeat saturated his words when he spoke.

"I just don't know, Edward. Without tests, I can't…" He paused briefly before continuing. "If she is as ill as I suspect, you will have maybe another five days."

My eyes squeezed shut and I began crying again, still gripping the sink and working hard to keep myself standing. I had one more question to ask, knowing the answer already but still needing his confirmation for this to be real.

"Dr. Cullen." I forced his name out. "How much t-time do _I_ have?"

His gasp was a loud echo in the otherwise quiet room.

"Edward…" I heard his questioning tone but I pressed on, needing the answer.

"I heard your nurse and," I took a deep breath, "I can already feel some of the symptoms you've described. I've been watching my father and I know my fate."

Letting go of the sink, I turned to face him. I could see the pain that marred his features as he warred with himself over what answers to give me.

"I need to know if…" My mouth opened and closed a few times before I found a voice to speak the words. "Will I live long enough to see my fiancée again?"

"Edward, I haven't run any tests so I…"

"Please, Dr. Cullen." I begged him with my eyes to just tell me the truth.

His shoulders slumped, sadness covered his face and he exhaled heavily. He shook his head and the pain of that one action punched a hole straight through my chest.

"I am so very sorry, Son, but if she doesn't set foot in this hospital in roughly the next ten to fifteen days, I'm afraid you will never meet again. You will be lost to her."

His final words were enough to break me. My legs gave way as I crumpled to the floor, barely breathing through the sobs as I pictured my angel's face.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

My mother and I were both poked and prodded for the next week while Dr. Cullen ran his tests. When he determined that we had also contracted the virus, we had been moved to a floor that housed patients in various stages of the disease. A room was found that would accommodate the three of us, as there was no escaping the truth of the situation now; we were never leaving this hospital.

While we had been given medications to help cure the virus, my mother and I still held vigil at my father's bedside. He was fighting the illness and had held on longer than Dr. Cullen expected, waking only once more a few days after we arrived. He told my mother how much he loved her and he told me to take care of her before he closed his eyes to us one last time.

In the eight days that we had been here, it was clear that the medication wasn't working and we were all fighting a losing battle. I watched my mother's symptoms progress as she became weaker by the day. I was also feeling the effects the virus had on my body. The fever came over me quickly, the room spun constantly and my entire body ached. I only wondered now when the end would come and if I would be able to see Bella again before it did.

Two more days passed and the sounds filling our room had been a loud mixture of hacking coughs, sneezes and groans coming from the three of us. My father was by far the worst and before the second day was over, he had taken his final breath.

The silence of the room was devastating and I wanted to get up to leave, but I would never abandon either of my parents at such a time. My mother was a sobbing mess as I held her in my arms across the room, allowing Dr. Cullen and his staff time to prepare my father's body for transport down to the morgue.

Her crying was interrupted by the cough she had developed over the past twenty-four hours. I tried to pick her up and carry her back to her bed, but I had no strength left in my body for such a thing. One of the men who had been assisting Dr. Cullen saw my attempt and moved quickly to take her from me before we both found our way to the floor.

I was so cold, so once my mother was situated, I tried to climb back onto my bed and under the warmth of my blankets in a vain hope of stopping my body from shaking. But they made me wait a few minutes while they moved my bed to the very spot my father's bed occupied five minutes ago. When I was allowed back under my blankets, I closed my eyes to rest and hopefully lose myself in dreams of Bella. What I didn't expect was my mother's hand smoothing my hair down like she always did when I was sick.

"Mother," I whispered. "You need to be lying down, resting, not fussing over me."

"You're my boy and I will always do whatever it takes to make sure you are taken care of." Another round of coughs began as she stood at my bedside. When it stopped, she said, "Until _I_ take my final breath."

"I love you, Mother."

"Mrs. Masen." Dr. Cullen returned and had a hand on her back, trying to guide her back to bed. "Come now, you and Edward need your rest. We cannot get through this if you are too exhausted to fight."

She maneuvered herself away from his hand and leaned over to kiss my forehead. Her lips were like ice to my searing skin. I had yet to get used to the change in temperatures. My skin was burning hot while chills ran through me, causing me to freeze. As I watched my mother climb back into her bed, I had a question.

"Dr. Cullen, what day is today?" He looked down at his charts before turning his attention to me.

"It is the twenty-fourth of September," he replied over his shoulder as he picked up my mother's chart.

"How many more days until the fifth of October?" I asked, my voice weak.

"Eleven…why?"

I still clung to all my hope in this aspect of my life. "My Bella will be home and I can see my angel with my own eyes." I began to drift toward sleep, but I had one more thing to say first. "I will be here still and I will see her," I claimed weakly before sleep took me away.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

_A pink dress and pigtails_

_A tea party and cupcakes_

_Bella holding my hand._

Flash

_A big puddle on the sidewalk_

_Bella holding my hand_

_Tiptoeing around the edge to keep her dry_

Flash

_Bella hiding in the shed_

_Picking tulips_

_Kissing a special flower_

_Kissing Bella_

Flash

_A white dress and soft curls_

_Bella's hand on my arm_

_A walk to the park_

_Bright eyes on the porch when I said 'I love you'_

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Something ice cold shocked me out of my dreams. My mother was by my bedside again, holding my hand and wiping a washcloth over my forehead. The chills had not lessened while I slept and the shaking was starting to make my body hurt worse than before.

"Mother." I barely heard my own voice.

"Shh, Edward. You're burning up. I need to cool you down."

She ran the wet cloth over my face, neck and chest one more time. I couldn't tell if the moist sheets beneath me were from her dripping cloth or my perspiration. She began coughing next to me again and there was nothing I could do to convince her to care for herself. Unfortunately, the same could be said for me. After my own coughing stopped, the backbreaking shivers began again and all the pain my body was in had me begging for sleep.

My mother squeezed my hand, it was light but I felt it. Her lips touched my cheek and forehead just before the wet cloth covered my head, neck and chest one more time. The feeling was heavenly and I drifted to sleep.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

_Hot chocolate by the fireplace_

_Talk of children, a home, a career_

_Bella holding my hand, saying she loved me_

Flash

_Walks to the market_

_A flower cart with pink tulips_

_An offer and acceptance of my heart._

Flash

_An afternoon by the lake_

_Bella seeing the beauty around us_

_Me, seeing only her beauty_

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

"Mrs. Masen, please get back in bed."

The fading light of another day peaked through the window coverings as Dr. Cullen was pleading with my mother. I opened my eyes slightly to see him lifting her onto her bed while she fought to get down.

"I promise you, we will take care of him." He guided her to her back to lie down. "You must be concerned with yourself and stay in bed."

Her body curled in on itself as she began coughing. Dr. Cullen hadn't pulled the cloth from her table in time and blood splattered his coat.

"No, Mother, not now." I groaned out the words.

I tried to go to her, but Dr. Cullen moved faster than I could and had me on my back in a second. My eyes followed him as he moved back to my mother's bed to wipe the blood from her mouth. Trying to turn from my back caused me to whimper as the aches in my body increased with each move. He was back at my bedside, touching his cold fingers to my forehead and cheek.

"We need to cool you down, Edward. Your fever is out of control," he said with concern.

The bed creaked; my mother had one leg hanging over the edge before Dr. Cullen was back by her side. He was back and forth like that constantly, moving so fast he was a blur in my vision, taking care of both our needs at the same time. The speed of his movements made me dizzy, making my head hurt, so I closed my eyes only for a second to rest.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

The image of Bella crying pulled me from my dreams. I would break every promise I ever made to her, I would break her heart and I would leave her alone in this world with no one to love her like I would.

"I will do everything in my power." Dr. Cullen's voice saved me from my thoughts.

It was dark out and he was having a whispered conversation with my mother. Her voice wasn't quite as clear to me and I couldn't understand her words. I heard her mention my name but nothing else. Her coughing started again and then stopped abruptly when she fell asleep.

I rolled to my side, facing the window away from my mother. The coughing and pain kept me awake for some time. My groaning finally stopped and I just wanted to go back to sleep. Before sleep took me, I heard the bed creak behind me, and Dr. Cullen's words ringing in my ears.

"I will keep my promise for Edward. Goodbye, Elizabeth. It is time to be with your husband."

I said a silent goodbye as I heard Dr. Cullen leave, pushing my mother's bed with him. He was taking her to the morgue and I was left alone here. My parents were gone, my Bella was gone. Grief overwhelmed me and I cried for everything I lost. I didn't want to be here alone, but I couldn't fight anymore either. I hurt too much and I just wanted it to be over. I closed my eyes to sleep and remember the days of the past that were now gone.

_My parents handing me a ring Mr. Swan hugging me_

_Bella's backyard. A stolen kiss_

_I love you's and more kisses _

_A window at night…Bella's birthday_

_A blue dress…a proposal_

_Marry me, Bella…Yes Edward_

_Wedding plans…decorations and napkins_

_My seventeenth birthday. Another cupcake_

_Bella's porch…kisses…crying…pictures…cupcakes_

_More I love you's. More tears_

_A promise to be waiting…waving goodbye_

_Coughs, aches and pain_

_My father dead_

_My mother dead_

_Me dying. Never seeing Bella_

_My promise broken._

On the edge of consciousness, I heard two words. "Sleep Edward." It was my time. As I floated away, my last thoughts were of Bella.

_Goodbye my love, my angel. _

_I love you._

_I'm sorry._

* * *

><p><strong>Losing Edward is so sad. *runs to wipe my tears* I'm right there with you. I didn't want it to happen, but it did. I just wish he could have seen Bella at least once before the end. How will she handle the news? How will she live her life without Edward? I'm sure you have an idea how to answer those questions.<strong>

**Thanks again for reading. As always, don't forget to tell me what you think. I love to hear it. I will still be sending a tease to everyone who reviews, but don't forget to check my blog for teasers as well. It's possible that you may get something different there. Check it out at: www(dot)mizzdee-ff(dot)blogspot(dot)com**

**Again, I want to give a huge thank you to all who have alerted, favorite and pimped out this story. You have made me a happy, happy girl. So, until next time…much love to you - D**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story. **

**Many thanks to my amazing team. I couldn't do this without you: ellachanted, vintagecarousel, Kate22689, Loulabelle and AgoodWITCH Love ya tons, ladies.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 9<strong>

**BPOV**

"What has you so upset, Miss Bella?"

Mrs. Jones' voice made me jump and almost fall off the dock. I didn't know why I was so upset after receiving the answer I had expected. I just wished it could have been different.

"Father said no…again," I answered as I picked up another rock and threw it into the lake.

"You know he is not going to take you home any sooner, child. Why must you continue asking?" she asked me.

"I don't want to be here anymore. I don't like it here and I want to go home." I pouted.

Her chuckling only served to make me more upset and I picked up another rock to throw. Just as my arm came down, I saw her sitting next to me with her dress caught under her legs.

"You mean you want to go home to Mr. Edward." She spoke with confidence.

I peeked at her from the corner of my eye and she was giving me that knowing look. I hated that look because it meant she knew what I didn't want to say.

"It has been four weeks and I miss him so much. Why does Father not see that?" My eyes were beginning to tear. "Why does he make me stay here when all I want is to be with Edward?"

"Miss Bella, we will be home in two weeks and your father wants time with you while you are still his to care for." She pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. "Three weeks from today, Mr. Edward is going to marry you and your father is frightened that he will be losing his little girl."

Mrs. Jones gave me the same argument every time I got angry with my father for making me come here. His fear was irrational. Edward and I were only getting married, not running away where we would never be seen or heard from again. So what if I was going to be living in a different house, we would still visit our parents and my father would have me with him then.

Knowing I was going to hear the same lecture from her that I had been hearing for the past two weeks when this same issue came up, I decided to forget it. I lay back on the dock, looking up at the sky and thinking about Edward for the hundredth time this hour.

"Mrs. Jones, what do you think he's doing right now," I asked dreamily.

She chuckled again. "If I know that boy, he is in his room right now thinking of you."

"Do you really think so?" I asked, never taking my eyes off the clouds.

"Miss Bella, that boy has been thinking of you since the two of you were babies. He will not be stopping now just because you aren't near him."

A smile grew on my face as I thought of Edward lying in his bed, ankles crossed, hands linked together under his head, hopefully with a smile on his face while he thought about me. I rolled my head to the side to see Mrs. Jones.

"I just wish he knew how much I love him and how much I want to be with him right now." I sighed.

"He knows, Miss Bella." Her grin crossed her entire face. "He knows because he loves you just as much."

Just the thought made me giggle hysterically. I knew Edward loved me, no confirmation was ever needed. But sometimes I got the feeling that something was going to happen to ruin our happiness and I just had to hear that he loved me before those feelings would go away. A push to my leg refocused my attention.

"Come now, Miss Bella. It's time to go make supper before we have to hear your father grumbling." We both laughed and got to our feet to make our way back to the house.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

The next several days passed just as the last four and a half weeks had…dull and uneventful. My parents and I spent time together and I tried so hard to be happy about it and be the good daughter they wanted me to be. It was hard but I managed to pull it off during the day when we were together.

It was at night while I was lying in bed that my thoughts of Edward crashed down on me, making me cry. I missed him more than I thought possible and clutched the picture of us to my chest, hoping to feel closer to him. It worked for a while but tonight was so much harder to get through than any other.

My mind was racing and I wasn't able to rid myself of the feeling of dread spreading through my body. There was nothing to worry about and I would be going home in nine days. Maybe I was simply anxious to get back to Edward and every day we spent apart was taking its toll on my mind and body.

I rolled over, placing the picture frame on the mattress so I could see him. Just as I did every night, I whispered my goodnight to his image and closed my eyes to sleep.

The next morning I groaned as Mrs. Jones shook my shoulder to wake me. The touch hurt and sent a sharp pain straight to my chest.

"Oh goodness, Miss Bella, your skin feels like it's on fire." She touched my forehead. "Lie still for a moment. I'll return in a second."

She left me in bed and rushed out of the room. I rolled over and the movement made my entire body hurt. No illness had ever left me in such pain before. I couldn't do anything but cry. Soon Mrs. Jones was back at my bedside with my mother sitting right next to her. One had a cold cloth to my face while the other was running another down my arms and legs.

"You're burning up, Isabella," my mother said. "We need to bring your temperature down. Your father is drawing a cold bath right now."

I nodded and groaned as they touched and lifted every part of my body. It hurt so much that I wanted to scream but I knew that would worry all of them. So I kept quiet and prayed. I prayed for either the pain to stop or I prayed for death because there was no way dying could be this painful.

My father showed up minutes later, lifted me in his arms and carried me to the bathroom. He sat me down on the toilet and left the room so my mother and Mrs. Jones could undress me and help me into the tub. I screamed as the frigid water touched my skin and I tried to jump back out. Mrs. Jones caught me and held me to her chest as she eased me into the water.

A cold bath was one thing, but a cold bath filled with ice cubes is more than any person should have to endure. My teeth were chattering in seconds and my arms were wrapped around my body to keep warm. My mother pulled my hands free, held my head and slowly leaned me back so I was fully submersed in the water up to my hairline. She dipped her hand in the water then touched her hand to my cheeks and forehead to cool down my face.

My father knocked on the door several times to see how I was doing and Mrs. Jones spoke to him each time, telling him I was okay. The final time he came to the door, he announced that it had been five minutes and that they needed to take me back to bed.

At my father's word, my mother helped me out of the tub and dried me off. Mrs. Jones held out my nightgown for me to slip into, and when I was dressed my mother rolled my hair into a tight bun and helped me back to bed.

"Can you leave us alone for a moment?" I heard my father's voice.

Both my mother and Mrs. Jones kissed my forehead and walked out of the room. My father sat on the side of my bed and touched the back of his hand to my forehead. His face was troubled and I felt bad for his pain.

"I am so sorry, Isabella. I should have taken you home when you asked." His hand rested on my cheek. "If we had stayed home, this wouldn't have happened. This is my fault."

"No Daddy," I used the name I called him when I was little, "I'm just sick. It's not your fault."

"At least at home I would be able to take you to the hospital. I never expected this and we're too far from everything for help to arrive in time. I will make sure you're taken care of, Isabella. We will make you better; that is a promise."

His voice left no doubt that he would do everything in his power to bring me back to health. I closed my eyes to take a breath and smiled when I opened them again.

"I know you will, Daddy. You have always made me better when I'm sick."

We talked for another minute before he told me to get some sleep. Before he left, he surprised me by taking the picture frame off the night table and placing it next to me on the bed. I looked at the picture and back to him, confused.

"You need him." He grinned. "You've always needed him. Sleep now, sweetheart," he whispered before he kissed my forehead and walked out my door.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Every four hours for the next two days, Mrs. Jones would wake me up just before my father carried me to the bathroom for another ice cold bath. I didn't know how much more I could take and no matter what they did or how many baths I took, it couldn't take the pain away. My whole body hurt; hurt to touch, hurt to move and I just wanted it to stop.

I was awake when Mrs. Jones came in for the last time that night. She touched her hand to my forehead like always and her eyes grew wide.

"I'll be right back," she said before hurrying out of the room.

I closed my eyes and waited for her to come back. A minute later, she came in with my mother and father right behind her.

"Please just check," Mrs. Jones said frantically.

Her attitude was causing me to worry and I started to get scared. My mother touched my forehead first and then my father did. They looked at each other and smiled. My mother hugged me tightly, but it was my father who spoke.

"Thank you, Lord." He grabbed my hand and focused on me. "Your fever broke, sweetheart. You are going to be just fine."

They both hugged me tightly and I fought so hard not to scream from the pain it caused me, every touch was a shot to the heart. My eyes were watering and the pain became too much.

"Stop please," I choked out my plea.

"Oh honey, I am so sorry," my mother said as she let me go and my father followed.

"It's late and I'm tired and I would love to go back to sleep."

"Okay sweetheart," my father kissed my forehead. "We will see you in the morning. Goodnight."

When they left, I cried into my pillow until I fell asleep.

The next morning, I woke up feeling slightly better. The pain was leaving me a little and I was able to move on my own again. I got out of bed and, with Mrs. Jones' help, bathed, dressed and made my way into the kitchen to eat breakfast with my family.

I hadn't eaten much in the past couple of days and was hungry. We had a nice breakfast and when we were done, my parents left me in the living room to read quietly. I spent most of the day on the couch with my book, only taking a break for lunch.

When it came time for Mrs. Jones to prepare supper, I asked to help. I wanted to get back to normal even if I didn't have all my strength back yet. Mrs. Jones asked if I had felt well enough to help and I gave her a very determined yes.

The pain had been receding rapidly throughout the day so I felt well enough to stand for all the preparations. We worked side by side for about thirty minutes and I was placing the last pot on the stove when I felt the worst pain of my life.

I clutched at my chest where it felt like someone was ripping my heart out of my body. The pot I was holding hit the floor before I did, catching Mrs. Jones' attention. I was curled in a ball on the floor, crying harder than ever when I felt her hands on me.

"Miss Bella!"

I heard her scream and I heard footsteps pounding on the floor before I fainted from the pain.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

The rise and fall of the sun marked the passing of time, but I was numb to all of it. No, not numb…dead. I felt dead inside and I had no desire to move, to speak or to eat. I saw every concerned look and heard every pained word that came from my parents and Mrs. Jones as they tried to ask if I was all right, but the will to answer was not there.

As the sun rose to mark the beginning of a new day, I heard my parents talking somewhere behind me. I didn't care enough to acknowledge them but I listened to their conversation. My father's gruff voice was the first one I heard.

"Everything is ready. I need the two of you to dress her so we may leave. I cannot take this anymore. We need to get her to a hospital. She needs treatment soon or I fear the worst may come of this." His voice was laced with concern.

I offered no help as they lifted my lifeless body, slipped off my nightgown and slipped on a dress. Mrs. Jones fussed with my hair while my mother held me up. When the task was done, they lowered me back to the bed and Mrs. Jones called for my father. He knelt by my bed and ran his hand over my hair.

"Can you hear me? Isabella, please answer me." He sounded tired. "We're going home now, my sweet angel."

Those words caused the first flutter in my body that I had felt in days. Edward called me his angel.

"Edward." His name left my lips, causing my father to gasp.

"Just hang on a little longer, sweetheart. We'll take you to him and then we'll find someone to help you."

Warmth spread from my chest and I felt a tingle in my stomach as my dad said he would take me to Edward. A small, involuntary smile settled on my lips at the thought of seeing him after all this time. My father hadn't missed my reaction.

"Oh sweetheart, such a pretty smile," he whispered into my ear as he leaned in to kiss my cheek. "Edward will be so happy and excited to see you, Isabella."

With a little effort, I smiled wider and gripped the picture frame lying against my chest.

"Really, Daddy." My voice was soft and hoarse from lack of use.

He chuckled. "Yes, sweetheart. If we leave now, you can be with him again by dusk."

The first real feeling I'd had in days passed through me as if I was waking up from a long slumber. I let go of the picture and slowly lifted my arm to place it on my father's shoulder in a vain attempt at a hug. He understood and moved closer, hugging me at the same time. He pulled away after a few seconds and slid his arms under me, preparing to lift me from my bed.

"Please, can I walk?" I asked weakly.

"I don't know if you have the strength, sweetheart," he answered.

"You can hold me." I smiled at him. "I want to try, please."

"Okay." He relented and stood up so he could help me out of bed.

He wrapped one arm around my waist while the other held my arm in front of him. The painful tingles hit my feet as I placed them on the ground. I welcomed the sensation now that it was among the first feelings to come to me since fainting in the middle of the kitchen. Once the pain subsided, I pushed to stand up on my rubber legs. I wobbled but he caught and steadied me.

"Are you alright, my sweet girl?"

I giggled weakly at this name. Edward called me that too.

My footing became steadier with each step and by the time we reached the front door, I was able to walk with only one of his hands supporting me. The bright sunshine hit my face as soon as the door was opened and I had to squint against it to keep from going blind. I stumbled a step but righted myself quickly, then made my way to the car.

My mother and Mrs. Jones sat in the car with a look of shock on their faces. I smiled at them and walked the rest of the way without fully needing the support. I was glad they were all there to help me through whatever this was that affected my body so cruelly in the past week. But as much as I loved and appreciated their help, there was only one person who I wanted to be with in this moment. Just his presence could take away all the pain and agony I'd felt and I couldn't wait to be near him so I could begin to feel normal again.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

My eyes opened and closed so many times during our trip, making the ride feel like it took a week. But when the familiar neighborhood came into view, I was awake and ready to be home. I looked out the window as we passed my school and something didn't seem right. I looked toward the other side of the street to the houses standing there, and each one looked empty.

There were no kids playing anywhere, which was unusual for a Saturday evening. The weather was cooler than most would like, but that never stopped the kids from running around outside playing games. It was odd but I sat back in my seat and let the strange sight slip from my mind.

The only thing I wanted to focus on now was getting to Edward, finally seeing his face and the grin that was always there just for me. I could hardly wait to hold him again and I vowed to keep him with me until our wedding day. I giggled to myself, but Mrs. Jones heard me, of course.

"Miss Bella, you have seemed practically dead for six days and now you are all giggles and smiles. What is going through that head of yours?" she asked quietly.

"I'm getting married in seven days. I'm so excited I feel like screaming." I felt like bouncing but I knew my body wasn't quite up to that yet. "I will finally be Mrs. Edward Masen."

Everyone in the car laughed at my excitement. I was sure it was a welcomed change from the lifeless form I had been for the past several days. My exhilaration grew to new heights the second we turned onto our street and I could see his house.

I wondered if he would be waiting for me. Watching in the window for my return and running to me the second I was out of the car. Would he walk slowly to prolong our reunion or would he rush and pull me into his arms, swinging me around like we were children? I had been dreaming of this day for six weeks and no matter how he did it, I was going to be in Edward's arms in just a few short minutes.

The car pulled to a stop and I wanted to rush to get out, but I was still suffering from weakness and my movements were slow. My father asked Mrs. Jones to escort me to the Masen's house while he went to open ours. Those words were music to my ears and I held Mrs. Jones' hand as she helped me out of the car.

We were halfway to his front door and there was still no sign of him. He knew we were coming home today. I was sure we had both been counting the days until we saw each other again, but he was nowhere to be found. His house was dark, like no one was home, and I noticed their car was gone. I hoped its absence meant that his parents were out and he was inside alone, waiting for me.

We were only ten feet from his front door when I saw a paper stuck to the outside. It wasn't normal, maybe some kind of notification for them that they hadn't received yet since his parents seemed to be out. I cautiously made my way up the steps, hoping not to fall due to my still weak legs.

"Isabella, no!"

I heard the scream a half a second before my father ripped me away from the porch. Momentum carried us to the ground and when I sat up, I saw the two things that scared me beyond reason; tears streaking down my father's face and one word in huge dark letters on Edward's door.

**CONDEMNED**.

* * *

><p><strong>That last word says it all. All the excitement she had finally allowed herself to feel, destroyed with one word. Bella will be devastated. How will she cope?<strong>

**Thanks again for reading. As always, don't forget to tell me what you think. I love to hear it. Don't forget to check my blog for teasers. Check it out at: www(dot)mizzdee-ff(dot)blogspot(dot)com**

**Massive hugs and kisses go out to all who have alerted, favorite and pimped out this story. I now have more alerts and favorites for this story than I have for all my others combined. I'm floored and couldn't be happier. So, until next time…much love to you - D**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story. **

**Many thanks to my amazing team. I couldn't do this without you: ellachanted, vintagecarousel, Kate22689, Loulabelle and AgoodWITCH Love ya tons, ladies.**

**A/N: Sorry this is a little late. Won't happen again. Oh and fair warning, you may need to break out the tissue for this one. **

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><p><strong>Chapter 10<strong>

**BPOV**

"Isabella Swan, come out of there before your father comes home," Mrs. Jones scolded me.

I didn't answer her. It was hard enough to keep my tears silent anymore, and I was in the only place left where I could cry alone and no one could hear me. Why did she have to come here? Why couldn't she just leave me alone to fall apart in peace? I clutched his handkerchief to my chest as my tears fell.

"Your father has warned you more than once, Miss Bella. You know what will happen if he catches you in there again." Her stern voice carried through the barely open window.

I knew this frustrated her because she couldn't pull me out of here like she wanted to. It was one of the reasons I was here. It gave me the solace I needed as I cried over my Edward and my heart didn't hurt as much the second I crossed the threshold. I also knew that this was where I could find solitude because none of them would set one foot in this place.

They were all afraid, but I knew it was safe. I watched from my porch four months ago when the white trucks drove up and the men in masks went in and cleaned the house, top to bottom. They sanitized every surface, removed all the furniture and left a clean, empty shell behind.

That was all this house was anymore…a shell. There was no life here and after eight months, there was no trace of him here anymore. I had my memories of him here, the two of us playing in his backyard when his parents invited us for dinners or sitting with our mothers, planning our wedding.

Now this house was empty and I lay on a blanket in the corner, holding the picture of us in one hand and his handkerchief in the other. These three things were all I had left of Edward and the life I almost had.

"Please, Miss Bella." She was pleading with me now. "Please, I cannot stand to see you hurt anymore, and if you're father boards up this house…it will kill you."

I heard her voice crack and the sniff that followed. She was crying with me. I didn't want to hurt anyone else, and I didn't want to make my father angry. All I wanted was to be close to Edward. It was all I ever wanted.

In all honesty, the first time I came here I had hoped that I would get sick and follow Edward into death. I searched every room for a piece of clothing that was missed or something left behind that could have given me my wish, but the cleaners were very thorough, leaving nothing that would save me from a lifetime of loneliness.

"I must leave, Miss Bella. Please come home."

And with those final words, she was gone. I rolled over onto my side and the sob ripped through my body as I cried harder. I always cried for Edward, but these tears were for my family. I could see in their faces that I was hurting them. They tried to help me, tried to stop the tears and tried to make me happy, but I didn't know how to be.

I decided to do what I always do and lock my pain away for another day. I wanted to stay here, but my father was a man of his word and he would board up this house in a second if he caught me here. I slowly rolled onto my knees, hugged my chest and said goodbye.

"Until tomorrow, my love," I whispered as I got up and forced myself to leave him behind for another day.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Two weeks passed and nothing changed. I would spend my days in misery, locked inside Edward's house reliving my memories over and over again. And at night, I would play the part of the perfect daughter, hoping my parents believed I was getting better. If my father's concerned looks were any indication, I knew I didn't really fool them, but they never spoke of it and for that, I was thankful. It was a vicious circle with each day worse than the last… and tomorrow was going to be the worst one yet.

As I helped Mrs. Jones prepare dinner, I asked if I could make our dessert for that evening. She agreed and I promptly pulled out the ingredients to make a chocolate cake. I was left alone as I mixed everything together, and when it came time to pour the batter, I made sure to hold a little back. I put everything in the oven to bake and left the kitchen to dress for dinner.

The kitchen was empty when I came back down, so I quickly pulled the pans from the oven and set the cake aside to cool. I stole a dishtowel for cover and ran to my room to stash it away until tomorrow. Knowing I had everything I needed, I walked back downstairs to set the table for dinner.

The night passed the same as all the others; my parents shared stories of their day while I sat quiet, moving my food around my plate, barely eating. My father stole glances at me through the entire meal and exhaled heavily several times when I failed to show interest in their conversation.

When it was time for dessert, I put their plates in front of them but as I sat down with my own, my father pushed his aside.

"Isabella, I know you're still hurting but, sweetheart, this has to end. I cannot watch you go through this anymore. We have tried to help, but I think it is time for someone else…"

I cut him off. "No please, Daddy," I begged. "I am trying to move on, but it's so hard with all the reminders here. He is everywhere I look and in everything I do here." I took a deep breath. "I promise, Daddy, I will do what I have to do to move past this and get on with my life."

He pushed a little more, but I couldn't let him involve someone else when I knew it wouldn't help. I wanted Edward and there was nothing anyone could say or do to bring him back to me. After a lengthy talk, I was allowed to retreat to my bedroom. I dressed for bed, climbed under the covers and cried myself to sleep.

When morning arrived, I woke with swollen eyes from crying all night. I stayed hidden under my covers until my father left for the day. He wouldn't want to see my face as it was, stained with tears, puffy and red. I didn't have to look in a mirror to know because this was how I had looked every morning for the past eight months.

I was still playing the dutiful daughter this morning until my mother left to run her errands for the day. So I bathed, got dress and went downstairs to help Mrs. Jones cook breakfast and do my daily chores.

As soon as I turned the corner into the kitchen, I saw Mrs. Jones sitting at the table with her head hanging down and a tissue in her hand. I knew in a second why she sat there crying and I moved quickly to her side, throwing my arms around her.

"How do you do this, Miss Bella? It is so hard even for me today," she confessed.

She held me tight and sobbed into my shoulder. The emotions I had tried to hold back in my mother's presence came flooding to me and I broke down and cried. After several minutes, she finally spoke again.

"I came down to make breakfast and out of habit, I began to make Mr. Edward's favorite pancakes."

The memory of his smile as he ran to the kitchen table to receive his very special birthday breakfast played in my mind. He never missed it, not once in seventeen years.

"I would guess that, even though you would have been married this year, he still would have been here, sitting in that chair, smiling and waiting for his pancakes." She lifted her head to look at me. "I cooked for that boy for nearly eighteen years, how is it possible that I will not be doing it ever again?"

I was back in her arms again as we both cried our eyes out. When our tears finally slowed, she released me and grabbed my hand as she stood from her chair.

"Come now, child." She held her hand out to me. "Let us make one last pancake breakfast together."

Her words were soft and her smile faltered slightly as she spoke, but she was determined to make it through this day, as was I but for a very different reason.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

It was no surprise to Mrs. Jones when I ran out the door and, for once, she didn't try to stop me. She knew there was no keeping me home, not today. I was panting as I closed and locked the door behind me. I doubled over as the tears hit me again and fell to my knees. I had been dreading this day from the moment I learned of his death.

Gaining enough control over my grief, I stood, taking several deep breaths before making my way to the one room in this house I had avoided completely for months. My feet were weighted to the floor as I struggled to climb each step. My breaths came fast as I reached his door and I was nearly hyperventilating as I made my way to the side of his room where I knew his bed had been.

I was on my knees again trying to calm myself so I could do what I came here to do. The tears finally slowed and I reached behind me to grab the bag I brought with me. I held it to my chest as I spoke to my love.

"Edward…Eddie, I miss you so much. But I knew I couldn't go without giving you one last gift. It may not be the bestest ever…" my voice cracked on those two words, "but it is the best I can do."

Sobs racked my body and my hands were shaking as I pulled one final cupcake from the bag. I set it on the floor in front of me, pushing it a little forward as if he was there to take it from me.

"There are no candles this year, my love, because you're not here to make your wish."

The pain that had taken over my heart threatened to break me, but I had to get through this.

"I cannot do this anymore without you, so I must go. I will not survive this if I don't." I took a breath, trying to steady my voice. "I promised you, Edward, I will take you with me wherever I go." I exhaled. "You are my life, my love and I am yours forever."

Tears took over for a second before I fought them back.

"Happy birthday, Edward. Goodbye."

I wanted to get up and walk away but I couldn't do it. I wasn't ready for this to be goodbye, not yet. My forehead was touching the floor now as I broke down in tears again.

"I cannot leave you. I know you're not here anymore, but you are. You're here with me, I know you are."

I know what I said made no sense. He was dead…gone. He would never be with me again.

"I wrote my father a note. I am going to hurt him so much, Edward. He will never forgive me, but I am not strong enough to stay here."

My body was on the ground now and I was lying on my side, absently drawing a heart in the light covering of dust on the floor.

"He doesn't understand. He wants me to get better, to be happy, but he doesn't understand that happiness for me included you."

My fingers drew another heart.

"I sat in the backyard every day for hours after we came home, looking up at your window and waiting to see you looking down at me. I thought I saw you there once and I ran so fast to get to you, but my father wouldn't let me come here. He stopped me every time, telling me I could get sick."

I chuckled at the thought, surprising myself for being capable of such a thing.

"Please do not hate me, Edward, but I wanted that. I wanted you so much that I would have followed you anywhere, even into death." I shuddered. "I am sorry for disappointing you, my love, but I miss you."

I curled myself into a ball, holding my body tight to keep the grief from crushing me.

"That is why I have to go away, Edward." I adjusted my arms, pulling tighter. "I do not want to leave here…leave you, but if I stay I will lose myself to the grief I feel every time I look at your empty window or sit in your empty house."

Tears were falling again, the grief trying to break me apart. I pulled tighter, my arms shaking from the strain.

"I will take you with me, my love. I have our picture, I have my ring and I have your memory in my heart. You will be with me every day. I will never, ever forget you."

Finally letting go, I sat up slowly and looked at the hearts on the floor. The picture…two hearts connecting…EM in the middle of one…BS in the other…above them both, the words 'Our Love is Eternal'. I didn't remember writing it, but they were the same words he had written under our picture. Those words were so true, I could never love another.

I touched my fingers to my lips, kissed them and touched the floor where our hearts met. My heart clenched as I stood and walked away. Before I left the room, I looked back at what I was leaving behind – my final gift and my testament to our love – and smiled.

"Until I see you again, Edward Masen, I love you."

I turned and left all shreds of my heart behind me.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Mrs. Jones was preparing dinner when I walked in. She didn't acknowledge me when I stepped next to her and started chopping the vegetables for the stew she was making, another favorite of Edward's. We worked together in silence, occasional sniffles were the only sounds coming from either of us. As I was putting the pot on the stove, she spoke behind me.

"I will miss you when you go," she whispered.

I gripped the handles of the pot until my fingers hurt. Of course she knew, she always knew everything when it came to Edward and me. I spun and in two quick steps, I was hugging her with all my strength.

"I cannot stay." I spoke into her chest.

"I know," she whispered.

"You cannot tell father. He will not understand."

"I'll watch over them for you," she promised.

She tightened her arms and kissed my forehead before pulling away, holding my shoulders at arm's length.

"You do what you must, Miss Bella." She touched my cheek. "Do not move."

"What?"

She walked into the family room, coming back a second later with a small envelope. Grabbing my hand, she pulled it closer and placed the envelope in my palm.

"I do not know where you're going and I do not know how you are going to live, but I want you to take this." She smiled at me.

My eyes grew wide when I opened the envelope and counted ten dollars.

"Mrs. Jones, this has to be everything you have. I cannot take this."

"No arguments, child." She patted my cheek. "I have cared for you since you were a baby, Miss Bella, and I will not stop just because you have to leave us."

I hugged her fiercely, grateful that she loved me so much.

"I love you," I whispered. "I will miss you so much."

"I love you, my little Isabella." She backed away and smiled at me again. "Now go dress for dinner."

It was a quiet night. My parents attempted their normal conversation as we ate our dinner, but I believed they could sense a change in the air. I attempted to hide my intentions and feelings as much as possible, but when I served dessert my father raised an eyebrow at my shaking hands.

I turned quickly to grab my own plate, before sitting down. My focus was entirely on the plate in front of me and I took bite after bite so I wouldn't have to speak. I was sure it did not escape his attention that this was the only time since Edward died that I actually ate my food. I was failing at keeping my secret and I knew he was going to ask me if things were okay.

He hummed with delight before I heard the scrape of his plate as he pushed it away. My already cluttered mind tried to process every possible question he could ask.

"Another great dinner, Isabella," he said.

I glanced up and smiled at him. "Thank you, Father."

"It's almost time, Isabella." He glared at me.

I panicked…he knew.

"What would you like to do for your birthday this year," he asked.

It wasn't a question I expected, but it twisted the knife of guilt in my heart for leaving. I couldn't speak. He chuckled.

"No need to answer, sweetheart." He grabbed my hand. "I believe I have the perfect gift in mind."

I stared, committing his smile to memory. I looked to my mother's beaming face, doing the same with her. I was going to miss them so much. Standing, I walked to my father's side, kissed his temple and hugged him tight.

"There is no need, Father. Your love for me is enough."

His arm moved to my waist and held me to him. I wanted to cry but I held my tears at bay as I walked over and repeated my actions and words with my mother. Saying goodbye without words is the hardest thing I had ever done, but it was the only chance I had. I stood between them holding their hands, my heart pounding in my chest.

"I am feeling a little tired. May I be excused to lie down for the night?" I asked, looking back and forth between them.

"Of course, darling," my mother said.

"Are you feeling alright, sweetheart," my father asked.

Another twist of the knife in my heart and my knees almost gave way under the strain. I struggled to keep my words even.

"I am fine, Daddy, just a little sleepy." He smiled.

I kissed his forehead and then my mother's.

"I love you both so much." I managed a weak smile. "Goodnight."

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

The house was quiet and dark when I pulled my bag over my shoulder. With a heavy heart, I took one last look around my room, my eyes finally landing on the letter for my father that I left on my night table. I imagined the look on his face when Mrs. Jones took it to him in the morning and the guilt filled me again. After a second of worry, I stood tall and locked my emotions away again so I could leave.

I tiptoed down the stairs, hoping not to wake either of my parents. I stopped by Mrs. Jones' room on the main floor and slid a note for her under her door and walked away. After closing the front door behind me, I looked left and right and saw no one. I blew out a breath and ran into the night without looking back.

I was in the heart of town in no time, making my way to the streetcar depot. I stole my father's pocket watch earlier in the evening so I would not only have something of his to keep him close, but also so I knew the time while on the road.

I had timed my escape perfectly and the next streetcar would leave for the city in less than an hour. The sun would be up shortly and I had to make sure to stay out of sight, so I hid in the shadows until the time was right.

When the streetcar I would be riding pulled into view, I straightened my dress and walked directly to the curb. The driver opened the door for me and I stepped on.

"Where to, Miss?" he asked politely.

"I'm going to the city, Sir," I replied.

"A young girl all alone in the city, Miss?" His questioning tone made me pause. "Not such a good idea." He shook his head.

"I am going to visit family, Sir." I lied. "They are expecting me."

"That is better then." He held out his hand. "Sixty cents please, Miss."

I handed him the coins, smiled and took my seat. I said another silent goodbye before closing my eyes and dreaming of another life.

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><p><strong>In a move to save herself, Bella is off to the city. Hopefully she'll find the escape she was looking for. <strong>

**Hugs and kisses to everyone and thanks for reading. As always, don't forget to tell me what you think. I love to hear it. Until next time…much love to you - D**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story. **

**Many thanks to my amazing team. I couldn't do this without you: ellachanted, vintagecarousel, Kate22689, Loulabelle and AgoodWITCH Love ya tons, ladies.**

**This chapter is much longer than most, but let's see what Edward's been up to, shall we.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 11<strong>

**EPOV**

Death was not supposed to be like this.

A scream burst through my lips as the fire that had been burning every part of my body for what felt like an eternity suddenly reached my heart. My body thrashed against the pain as my hands clawed at my chest, trying to put out the flames.

I felt each finger as someone wrapped their hands around my wrists, pulling my hands away and pinning them to the soft surface I was lying on.

My back arched violently followed by another scream as the fire grew hotter, more painful, and my heart sped up as if it was trying to outrun the pain. It was a race I couldn't win as the hottest flame of all consumed me and stopped my heart.

Finally, the fire that had been coursing through my body for longer than I could comprehend relinquished its hold on me. I lay utterly still; afraid to move or speak for fear it would return. I knew nothing of death, but I never imagined it to be so painful.

The sudden loss of pressure on my wrists startled me and my body froze completely as my mind began to register things around me. Footsteps walking quickly away from me, turning left for a few steps before changing direction, taking another few steps and then repeating the process…someone was pacing.

_Am I dead?_

After some time passed, the footsteps came closer to me and a gentle hand turned my head as a finger lightly grazed over my neck. The sense of touch was strange and unexpected.

_Can you feel things or hear things like this when you're dead?_

"Why is he not awake?"

The sound wasn't that of a normal voice. It was wrong and it frightened me. I kept still, not wanting to alert this strange being to my state of awareness. Suddenly, his words repeated themselves in my head, causing me to question what was happening to me.

_Awake? How?_

"He should have moved, opened his eyes… something… anything."

The touch was gone and the pacing began again.

"How long is this supposed to last? This can't be normal. My own change only took three days. Something must be wrong, he should be awake."

_Change? What change?_

I shifted my hand a fraction of an inch but froze again when the sounds in the room disappeared. Seconds passed in silence, then the pacing resumed and I heard the voice again.

"It's been so many years but I know the wounds are the same. Why is this taking so long? Oh God in heaven, please tell me he survived. Please tell me he didn't die at my hands. I made a promise."

The word surprised me, breaking me out of my silence.

"Died?" I mumbled but the strange voice I heard wasn't mine.

My eyes fluttered open and I sat up quickly, needing to understand what was happening. I took in the unfamiliar room and to my disbelief, I could see everything even with no light in the room.

"Edward."

Startled by the voice beside me, I jumped and slammed into the wall across the room. I felt the wall give way and saw white pebbles falling to the ground.

"Edward, please don't be frightened."

The voice was softer, calling my attention to the other side of the room. My eyes narrowed as I took in the man across from me.

"Who are you?"

His face fell as his brow furrowed. "You don't remember?"

I shook my head.

"The hospital…you're illness?"

"No. What are you talking about?" I questioned him.

He dropped his head. "Does he even remember his parents?"

"What about my parents?" I asked, as I saw a blurred image of my mother and father.

He looked stunned. "What…? How did you…?"

"What have you done with them?" I accused. "Are they here? Do you have them somewhere?"

I moved towards the door, calling for my mother but he moved impossibly fast, blocking my way.

"Get out of my way!" I yelled. "Mother…Father!"

His hands were on my shoulders. "Edward, please be calm. They're not here." He looked at the floor. "God, this is going to kill him."

"Why do you keep saying that?" I asked, frustrated.

"Saying what?" He looked up and I could see his confusion. He shook his head. "Please, sit and let me explain."

"No! I want to see my parents. What have you done with them? Where are you keeping...?"

I pushed to get him out of my way and he flew into the wall behind him. My eyes widened in shock and I froze, seeing the hole in the wall with him lying there halfway between this room and the room on the other side of the hall.

"They're gone, Edward!" he said, recovering quickly and getting back on his feet to stand in front of me. "You were all sick…dying. I couldn't save them. But you… I made a promise." He was pacing a few steps back and forth in the hallway now.

Murky images flashed through my mind; my father coughing up blood, my mother touching a cloth to my head, men in white coats and masks wheeling a bed out of a hospital room. More images floated through my mind of this man talking to me next to my father's bed, hugging me in a bathroom, moving between me and my mother faster than humanly possible, standing over me as he pushed my own bed out of the hospital room and him easily lifting me over his shoulder and running out a door.

"Dr. Cullen?" I asked, recognizing his face.

"Thank goodness, he remembers." His voice was so quiet I almost missed it.

"Yes, Edward. My name is Carlisle and I was your doctor. Well…I looked after your whole family before..." He paused.

"You said we were all sick," I whispered, "and dying?"

"Yes, Edward."

I was sitting on the bed, not knowing how I got there with Dr. Cullen sitting next to me.

"I'm sorry. Your parents have passed."

I gasped at his words and the strange sensation made me realize for the first time since opening my eyes that I wasn't breathing.

"What…?" I tried to ask the question but panic took over.

Now I could do nothing but breathe. I was across the room again in a fraction of a second, frightened once more and practically hyperventilating. Of course, it seemed a ridiculous concept since it was obvious that I no longer needed to breathe. That thought made the gasping even worse. The sensation felt odd and caused a burning ache in my throat.

My hands flew to my neck, trying to stop the burn but I didn't know how.

"It burns," I choked out the words. "Water, please."

"I'm sorry, Edward. That won't help," he spoke softly. "I must take you…"

"What…did…you…do…to…me?" I forced out the words between breaths.

He was at my side before I could blink with a hand on my shoulder. I flinched away from him, but his tight grip stopped me before I could fully move away.

"Edward…Son, please stay calm and let me explain."

"Do not ever call me that," I growled, as I grabbed his hand. "I am not your son."

I threw his hand away from me and was completely taken aback when his body flew across the room.

"Edward," his voice was still calm, "I know you don't understand, but I need you to calm down and let me explain. There's so much to tell you and we need to tend to your thirst."

"Tend to my thirst?" The words didn't match with his previous statement. "How will you tend to my thirst if you claim water will not help?" I growled. "And what promise did you make? To whom? How did I not die along with my parents?" In my anger, each question came out faster than the one before it. "Where am I? What did you do to me? How can I…?"

"Enough!" His voice rang with authority, cutting me off mid-sentence.

He began pacing again, one arm across his chest and the other resting on that arm while his fingers pinched the bridge of his nose.

"You must feed, Edward. It is the most important thing right now. So I'll tell you the one thing that will be the hardest for me to explain."

"Feed?" I asked, confused by his word.

He ignored me and continued.

"You asked me what I've done to you. You asked me why you didn't die with your parents."

The speed of his pacing increased as he continued to speak, not once looking at me while the words flowed from him.

"The simplest answer is…you did." He stopped and, in the blink of an eye, was standing in front of me with his hands on my shoulders again. "You _are_ dead, Edward. Or maybe the proper term is…undead."

My eyes narrowed. Whatever kind of game he wanted to play with me was not in the least bit funny.

"You have heard of vampires, have you not?" His tone was serious. I couldn't answer. "We are not the myths society has led you to believe. We are real. I am real. And now you – as one of us – will walk the Earth as we have for eternity."

My mouth opened and closed with no sound escaping me. His words – so ridiculously unbelievable – left me speechless.

"I can see you don't believe me but tell me, can you feel your heart beating?"

My hand involuntarily moved to my chest…nothing.

"How many breaths have you taken since opening your eyes?"

I had made the realization only minutes before that I had no need to breathe. My eyes dropped. I could no longer focus on him.

"Look around you. Can you not see perfectly in this dark room? Have you not noticed your speed? Your strength?"

"You are insane," I whispered each word slowly, finally finding my voice. "Vampires exist only in stories. Stories meant to frighten children. They're not real."

"No, Edward, you're wrong. Vampires are very real and you, Son, are now one of us," he said.

He lifted my chin to look me in the eye. There was no wavering as he gazed at me. He meant every word.

"What you're saying is impossible."

"I would like to explain every detail to you now, but that incessant burning in your throat means that you need to feed." He took a step away. "Come with me and I'll show you. Once you've had your fill, I will explain everything."

"Feed? You mean I have to…" I couldn't begin to form the words.

"No. Not like that." His eyes held great sympathy. "You never have to take a human life. I can show you another way. Trust me, Edward, I can show you how to live a life just as you always have."

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

As disbelieving as I was when he first explained what I had become, it all fell into place when he took me to feed or what he called hunting. The speed was exhilarating and the sensations I felt during the run were amazing, I couldn't get enough. Carlisle – as he asked me to call him – did his best to keep up as we ran, but I continually left him behind. He didn't like it, wanting to keep me close to prevent an accident, but I couldn't help it. I had never felt anything like it. He explained to me that, because I was so 'new' to this life, my strength was at its highest peak.

"Edward, stop!" he called from somewhere behind me.

I came to a sudden halt and Carlisle was next to me in a flash. We were standing in the middle of a wooded area a few miles from his home. He held a hand up to keep me quiet and I did as he wished.

Countless seconds passed, he spoke softly. "Listen…can you hear them?"

I heard everything; the wind in the trees, the animals running along the forest floor, the crickets' song as they hid out of sight. My head moved from side to side, taking it all in.

"Close your eyes, Edward." He chuckled softly.

I did as he asked, though it seemed to magnify the sounds.

"Small animals running…that way." I pointed.

"And?" There was excitement in his voice.

"A million leaves rustling with the wind."

"Listen closer. Concentrate on the elements. What else do you hear?" he urged.

I focused again, listening harder for other sounds. I tilted my head, trying to place the faint sound that caught my attention.

"Water?" I said as I opened my eyes.

His smile was like a light in the dark woods. "Yes. There's a stream about a mile from here." His eyes became serious once more as he grabbed my wrists. "Now, I want you to open yourself up, Edward. Listen closer to the sounds near the water. Then I want you to breathe deeply and tell me what you smell."

Following his instructions, I listened, hearing a soft thumping noise and when I breathed the burn in my throat suddenly intensified and my body tensed. Carlisle's grip tightened, bringing my eyes back to his and I saw the warning there.

"Take it slow. Don't run."

"Slow?" I asked and his eyes hardened. "No! Let me go."

I yanked my arms away from his and took off running toward the smell. I could sense him behind me, staying close but keeping a deliberate distance between us.

"You will see them before they see you," Carlisle said. "Slow down when you do or you'll scare them away."

I heard him and part of me listened, wanting to take his advice while the other part of me wanted to get to whatever animal was out there, calling to me. Every story I'd ever heard said vampires drank the blood of humans, and I still found it a difficult concept to grasp that we would be hunting animals instead.

Of course, as I got closer to the heavenly smell filling my senses now, I honestly didn't care what I believed to be true or not true as long as it was able to relieve me of the burning in my throat.

"Slow down, Edward. They're close," Carlisle warned. "Trust me, please."

I slowed enough to allow him to catch up, but it was his hand on my shoulder that brought me to a full stop. I could see in his eyes that another lesson was coming, but I could see the deer lapping at the water in the stream and every instinct in me wanted to drink from them just as they were from the water.

"Patience, Edward. I want you to breathe in their scent, remember what it smells like so the next time we're out, you will know what you're hunting."

That gave me pause. "Doesn't all blood smell the same?"

His lip twitched as he tried not to smile. "No, it doesn't. Each species of animal has its own scent and you will need to know the difference. It will make hunting much easier when you know what you're tracking."

"How?" I asked.

"Once you know what animal you're tracking, you will know how to approach it. You will know if you need to use stealth, cunning or speed to catch your prey. And when you know, instinct will guide your actions, making the hunt…easy."

Listening to his words, I looked at the deer by the stream and smiled. A very blurry memory entered my mind of my father and me when I was still a boy, and we were sitting in woods just like these. We were on our own hunting trip and lying in wait for the deer to come close enough to shoot. I remember how fast they were and our disappointment when the deer slipped away from us.

I looked back at Carlisle. "We need to be quick. Bring them down first and then…" My words trailed off.

"Yes, Son, you are absolutely correct." He smiled. "Ready."

I nodded. My mouth watered as I turned to the unsuspecting animals.

"Move slowly to the tree line." I obeyed his command.

Once in place, he spoke in the quietest voice I'd heard him use. "Now."

We burst in the open space and his experience helped him to take down four deer to my two; the rest disappearing into the trees before we could catch them. I watched as Carlisle bent over the animal, placed his mouth by its neck and sunk his teeth in. I copied his actions, hesitant at first but the second the warm liquid flowed into my mouth, I drank from the animal like a man who'd been denied food for years.

We had split the total, consuming three each and when we finished, Carlisle spoke a quick prayer of thanks before we buried the dead animals.

"Why do you do that?" I asked, curious about his prayer.

"Do what?" he asked his own question.

"Pray?" I said.

"As a human, did you not say a prayer of thanks when you sat down for a meal?"

I thought about that and shook my head. "I don't remember."

His smile was gentle. "Edward, God gives sustenance in many forms. Humans consume the flesh of the animal while we consume the blood. We would not survive if not for the gift of food that He allows us to take part in, therefore, it is right to give Him thanks."

His answer made sense so I didn't question him further.

"Edward, I assume you're feeling better now that you've fed. Let's go back home and I'll continue with the explanation I began earlier."

I agreed and followed him back to the house.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Time passed quickly after that first night. Carlisle stayed with me constantly, never returning to the hospital he found me in. After a few weeks had passed, however, he announced that it was time to move on. He owned a home in the state of Wisconsin, so we packed up the few necessities we would need and left the old house behind.

While we traveled, he told me of the laws of our kind. Well, the only major law that we must abide by – never expose our world. But that was broken down into so many different subsets and definitions that it seemed we could fill a novel. If we weren't graced with perfect recollection, it would be impossible to remember them all.

When we reached our new home, he took me hunting immediately to show me the land and the boundaries that I needed to be mindful of at all times. He tested my resolve constantly, always taking me just a little closer to the main town after our hunts so I could slowly breathe in the scents of the humans living near us. He said it was like building up a tolerance against the scent so, one day, I could live a normal life.

When we weren't hunting or pushing my boundaries, we spent most of our time talking since I had so many questions about him. He told me stories of his life from the time of his change until the day he found me. I couldn't believe that one man could experience everything that he had, but when you had countless years ahead of you, I could understand the urge to see everything this world had to offer. He promised that once I had passed my 'newborn' stage – as he called it – and had more control, he would take me to visit some of his favorite places around the world, and I was more than eager to go.

After a few months, Carlisle seemed a little agitated after one of our hunts. I asked what was wrong and he asked me what I remembered about my parents. The question caught me by surprise because we hadn't really spoken of them since the night I had awakened from my transformation. He knew talking about them upset me, so the subject was never brought up.

From our first night together, I realized quickly that Carlisle paced the floors when he was having a difficult time talking about things. When a topic made him uneasy, he would be out of his chair, pacing until he found a way to discuss it without overwhelming or upsetting me. Watching him now, pacing back and forth across the family room, I knew this was a subject that was bothering him too.

"Why are you asking?"

"He must understand that I did not simply decide his fate on a whim."

I remained silent, listening to him talk to himself, which he did often when he attempted to gather his thoughts.

"I will have to start at the beginning."

"I think the beginning is a perfect place to start," I said, hoping to bring him back to our conversation.

He stopped, regarding me with a curious look before coming back to sit with me.

"I remember the day I met your family," he said. "Dawn was approaching and I was ending my shift for the night when I had been given your father's chart. All the other doctors were busy, making me the only one available to check up on him that morning. I cannot say I was surprised to see another case of the influenza come through our doors. We were quickly becoming overrun with those who had contracted the virus." He paused. "I was shocked, however, to see you and your mother sitting there with him and neither of you had a mask on. So I gave you one."

"I remember," I mumbled. "And I remember you arguing with a nurse about those masks." A feeling of dread ran through me. "I didn't want to believe it, but I knew then that we were all going to die."

"After your father passed and you took a turn for the worse, your mother begged me to spare your life, Edward. If it weren't for her, you would have passed shortly after she did."

He laid his hand on mine to show me some comfort.

"Actually, I was surprised that she went first. You were so sick, barely hanging on." He paused. "The night she passed, she asked me to do everything in my power to save you. I don't know how, but it seemed as if she knew what I was and that I had the ability to give you back your life."

I closed my eyes, remembering her as she was when I was a child.

"My mother was always extremely intuitive. She just knew things." I chuckled. "If it wasn't so crazy, I would say she could read my mind most of the time."

My eyes opened and I stared at a spot on the wall while I remembered some of the times her intuition got me into trouble.

"It's not so crazy."

"Maybe…maybe not." I shrugged.

"I bet you're more like her than you think."

"I vaguely remember people telling me that but I never believed them," I said quietly, still lost in my memories.

"I believe them."

"You didn't even know my mother." I turned to face him. "How could you possibly know if I was like her in any way?"

He smirked at me, lifting one eyebrow in question.

_Because you can hear me now._

I froze.

_I know you can hear me, Edward._

Fear forced me from my chair and across the room, putting distance between us.

"What's happening? How are you doing that?" I pressed myself as close to the wall as I could get.

_Don't be afraid._

He held out his hand to me but I shook my head, keeping my distance.

"This is not something to be afraid of." He smiled at me. "You have an amazing ability and we need to explore it."

"Ability? What does that mean?"

He blew out a frustrated breath. "It's a remarkable gift. I've had my suspicions for some time now and you just confirmed it." He let out a small laugh. "I'm surprised that it actually took me this long to figure it out."

"What do you mean? Figure what out?" He wasn't making any sense.

"You can read minds, Edward."

"That's impossible."

He quirked his eyebrow again.

_Do you really believe in the impossible anymore?_

Carlisle moved faster than I expected, grabbed my hand and led me back to my chair.

"We'll work through this together, Edward. Trust me."

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Being the analytical type that he was, Carlisle spent the past several months testing my ability. While we were out hunting, he would run off to varying distances to test how far I could hear. In the beginning, he would only leave me alone for several minutes at a time, still not comfortable with my control. Lately, though, he'd grown more confident and we'd been testing my thirst and my ability during short trips into town.

The first few trips were overwhelming. Hearing every thought at once was obviously too much for me, bringing me to my knees. Carlisle had to carry me far enough away so I could have some peace before I regained enough composure to stand again.

Over the next few trips, I worked on different techniques that Carlisle suggested to drown out the noise. His best suggestion was to attempt to focus on one person at a time, bringing their voice to the forefront of my mind and it worked. From that point, I was able to increase from one person to two and now – four months after we started – I was able to focus on anyone within a fifteen-foot radius of where I stood. According to Carlisle, it was amazing progress.

He was thrilled and excited that, only eight months after my change, I was able to function well near humans. Now our trips to town were more frequent and it was nice not being stuck in the house or within the perimeter all the time.

Today we'd planned a longer trip to one of the bigger cities and I was excited, not only for the freedom it offered but for the chance to see something new after all these months. He laughed at me as we settled into his car and drove away from the house. During our drive, however, Carlisle's attitude shifted and he seemed to be brooding over something. The change in him caused a tension in the car that put me on edge.

"What is it, Carlisle?" I asked, hoping he would open up and talk to me.

"Hmm." He sounded as if I interrupted his thoughts.

"For the past hour, you've been upset over something," I said softly. "I can't tell what it is because you've been intentionally blocking your thoughts. Carlisle, you have helped me more than I can ever begin to thank you for, so please, whatever it is, let me try to help you for once."

We drove a few more miles in a tense silence before he finally spoke. "I'm sorry, Edward. I wanted to tell you about this months ago but I've been so involved in trying to understand your ability that I put it off."

I didn't expect his answer and it put me more on edge than I already was. Before I could think of what his statement meant, he continued.

"I have an ulterior motive for taking you to the city today."

I didn't remember ever seen Carlisle this way before, not even when we spoke about the death of my parents.

"The day we discovered your gift we were having a discussion about your parents. I didn't bring that subject up for no reason. I had something to tell you then, but I didn't know how you would handle it. Then we got sidetracked and I didn't have to think about it for a while."

My mind was wandering down many different paths that this conversation could take. What could he have had to tell me about them that would have him thinking I couldn't handle hearing it?

"I didn't want to put it off any longer and today seemed to be the appropriate time to do this."

"Why does the day matter?" I asked as we passed the Madison city limit sign.

We had driven quite a distance and I wondered why we would travel so far when there had to be bigger cities closer to home.

"During our trips to town, I'd been able to keep track of the virus that took your parents and found that it had been contained. Months ago, I was able to secure the services of a company that went to your family's home to clear it of its contents and give it a thorough cleaning so you will be able to claim it as yours again – after some time passes, of course."

The car slowed to a stop and I saw that we were parked outside what looked like an abandoned warehouse.

"I've been keeping these things here, waiting for the day when I believed you were strong enough to handle going through them. I know I should have told you sooner and given you the choice but I thought today would be the best day to bring you here."

"Carlisle, why does the day matter?" I asked again.

He ignored my question again. "Let's go inside."

The car was empty in a flash and he was standing at the door to the warehouse, unlocking it. I followed him at a human pace, afraid of what I would see when he opened that door.

Carlisle led me inside the warehouse and there were stacks of boxes everywhere and furniture against the wall on one side. I was completely caught off guard by the emotions flowing through me as I saw these things and before consciously making the decision to move, I was standing next to what used to be my bed. When I sat down, my memory conjured up murky pictures of my old room and out of nowhere, an immense pain hit my chest and I found myself gasping for air.

My forehead hit the mattress when the ache was too much for me to handle. I clutched at my chest, trying to relieve the pain but it seemed to make it worse. Rolling to my side, I curled in on myself, my arms holding my legs so tight, hoping to keep myself from being crushed by the pain. My eyes shut tight when they began to pool with tears that I knew wouldn't fall and my arms gripped even tighter.

I was vaguely aware of Carlisle calling my name, asking if I was okay but I couldn't answer. If I spoke or if I let go, the pain would surely break me apart.

Suddenly, images and sounds were flooding my mind.

I heard giggles and saw the picture of a table set for tea.

I saw a garden full of flowers and I held a pink one in my hand. _'This one has been kissed by an angel'_ I knew my voice.

More laughter came with an image of me lying in the snow, moving my arms and legs back and forth…snow angels.

Soft voices sounded and I saw a fireplace. _'Two children…one boy and one girl.'_ It was my voice again. _'The perfect family.'_ The answering voice made my heart clench tighter.

Brown eyes stared down at me. _'Will you marry me?' _My words were clear. _'Yes, Edward, yes. I will marry you.' _A sweet voice answered.

I felt as if I was dying all over again…like my heart was being torn to pieces inside my chest.

_Oh God, Bella…my Bella._

"Make it stop!" I screamed.

'_I can take you with me now.'_ She smiled. My hand touched her cheek. _'As long as you love me, I will always be with you, Bella.'_

"Carlisle, please make it stop!" My hands pressed into my temples.

"Edward." Hands pulled at my wrists. "Focus, Edward. Open your eyes and look at me."

The look of fear was plain on Carlisle's face when I opened my eyes.

"Why did you bring me here?"

"It's your birthday, Edward," he answered, looking pained. "You would have been eighteen today and I wanted you to have some part of your family back."

"My family!" I yelled. "I wasn't allowed to have a family!" I pulled my hands away from his. "I could have. She loved me." I could feel my anger building. "She was going to marry me, but _they_ took her away!"

Carlisle's eyes looked haunted. "You fought so hard to live so you could see her again. You were counting the days."

"And then _you_ took her away from me!" I shoved him away from me and he slid into my old desk about twenty feet away.

"I did no such thing!"

We were both yelling now.

"Why didn't you tell me about her? How could you let me forget her?"

"Sometimes it's better to forget!"

"Better for whom?" I asked. "I cannot begin to image what Bella must be going through right now and I refuse to let her suffer any longer."

I was at the door in a heartbeat but Carlisle pulled me back inside.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"I made a promise that I would always be with her and I'm going to keep that promise." I glared at him. "You know all about promises, don't you, Carlisle."

"You can't go, Edward!"

"Watch me!"

* * *

><p><strong>Edward has been through so much since he woke up. He was so upset when he found out about his parents, but to finally remember Bella after so long hurt him so much more. How is Carlisle going to keep him from chasing after her?<strong>

**Big squishy hugs to everyone and thanks for reading. As always, don't forget to tell me what you think. I love to hear it. Until next time…much love to you - D**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story.**

**Many thanks to my amazing team. I couldn't do this without you: ellachanted, vintagecarousel, Kate22689 and AgoodWITCH Love ya tons, ladies.**

**A/N: I just want to apologize for this being a little late and for not replying to some of your reviews. I promise I will get to all of you soon.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 12<strong>

**EPOV**

Carlisle had his arms around me before I could take a single step.

"You cannot go after her, Edward."

I fought out of his grasp, sending him flying into a stack of boxes. Papers flew everywhere as they broke open. I turned to leave but he was fast, standing between me and the door.

"Get out of my way!"

His only answer was to slam the door.

"You are not keeping me from her, Carlisle," I growled. "Not this time."

I ran to the door, not caring if I had to go through him to get out. Carlisle launched himself at me and the sound of our bodies crashing together echoed through the warehouse. His momentum carried us through more boxes. When we landed, he was on top of me, pinning me to the ground.

"I didn't keep her from you. I cannot control what you remember!" he shouted.

Throwing him off of me and into another tall stack of my belongings, I shouted, "You can't control it, but you knew about her and you didn't tell me!"

Carlisle was on his feet again, walking toward me. "What good would have done? Look at you now. Do you think I wanted to make your transition any harder on you? Especially after you found out about your parents?"

"How could it be harder? I could have gone to her. We would be together now if it weren't for you."

I knew from experience that if I had even a small head start, Carlisle wasn't fast enough to catch me. I grabbed his shirt and threw him against the far wall. He hit hard and slumped to the ground.

"You are not going to stop me now."

I heard him call my name as I ran through the door, but there was no way I was stopping until I had Bella in my arms again. She must be devastated, thinking all this time that I was gone. I had to reach her, comfort her and make sure she knew I would never leave her again.

The miles flew by as I ran. I knew Carlisle was chasing me and I heard him yelling for me to stop, but that just pushed me to move faster. He was not going to keep me from her. Making my way into the wooded area near the road, I was able to move faster not having to worry about being seen. Unfortunately, so was Carlisle. I could feel him closing the distance between us.

"Edward, stop. You can't do this," he called out.

"Give up, Carlisle," I yelled back. "You are not stopping me. Bella is my life and I will not live without her any longer."

More miles passed and I finally recognized my surroundings. I was almost there. Soon she would be close enough to touch. Suddenly, a thought occurred to me that caused me to slow a little. How would I explain my absence to her? I was sure that her father would have learned that we were all sick and that would lead to the news of our deaths.

_How can I convince her that I didn't die?_

_How can I keep her from hating me for leaving her alone all this time?_

I slowed even further as the answer came to me. I would be forced to lie to her. I had not lied to Bella once in seventeen years and it sickened me that I would have to do so now after nearly a year apart. As I ran, different explanations floated through my mind. Each excuse was more ridiculous than the one before it. There was no way I could lie to her.

Then it hit me. I could tell her that a group of us were taken to a special facility to test new treatments to cure the virus. I could tell her that – in the madness of the time – we were mistakenly listed among the dead. I would beg for forgiveness for not contacting her while I was away and I would be on my knees when I asked her if she would still have me…still marry me.

I was completely lost in my thoughts when Carlisle's panicked voice broke through.

"Edward, stop! It's still daylight. You must stay hidden!"

My feet stopped against my will just before I broke through the trees. There was still a short distance to run – six miles at the most – before I was on her doorstep, but I could not make that trip until dark. The sun held me captive at the edge of the trees as I paced back and forth, waiting for the second I could leave this prison and be with my angel.

I was so close that I could almost feel her presence. I dropped to my knees at the edge of the trees, the pain in my chest making its presence known again as my mind replayed memory after memory of our time together.

I saw us as children, playing hide and seek in Bella's backyard. She always hid in the shed, giggling while I pretended I couldn't find her. I remembered trips to the market, walks to the park, playing stickball and…cupcakes – every year on my birthday. I would never see another cupcake again.

My hands were at my temples again as I rolled over, screaming her name. How could I forget her? She was everything to me and my mind let her go as if she meant nothing. If I could cry, I would be. I prayed she would forgive me when I found her again.

"She has to take me back. I cannot lose her."

"You can never see her again, Edward."

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't hear Carlisle come close enough to kneel next to me. I moved one hand to see the sympathy in his eyes.

_I'm so sorry. You can't see her._

"You cannot keep me from her, Carlisle." I was begging. "Please, don't keep me from her. I don't want to live without her."

"You must, Edward," he said, laying a hand on my shoulder. "I am not doing this to hurt you. But you can never see her again," he repeated those awful words again.

"No, don't say that please. I can do it, Carlisle. I've done so well around humans. You have said so yourself. Please, give me this chance. I could never hurt her. I swear to you, I can do this?" I could see my pleas made no difference.

"This is why I said it was better to forget." He shook his head. "Edward, how will you explain where you've been when there are records of your death? How will you explain to her why she is aging and you are not? How will you explain to her…?"

"After enough time has passed, I can tell her the truth. I know she will never tell. It will still be a secret."

I knew the laws and I knew the consequences for breaking them. But I also knew Bella and I knew she would never speak a word to anyone if she knew the threat of death was real. And it was. Carlisle told me about the Italian vampires – the Volturi – and all that he had witnessed in the years he lived among them.

"I know what you're thinking, Carlisle, but they never have to know. Bella can stay with us and we can move anywhere, anytime you wish and they will never know. They will have no reason to come after us."

"We are not the ones they would seek out first, Edward. If they knew," he paused, "Bella would be the first to die," he said in a whisper.

"No!" I growled. "I wouldn't let them touch her. They could kill me in her place. I would suffer a thousand deaths if I had to, to ensure her safety, but I would never allow them to touch her."

"Please, listen to me." Now he was begging. "If it is your intention to live a life with her, you have to know that the very second you reveal to her what you've become, you will have condemned her to death."

His eyes held a million emotions, each one a varying degree of the anguish he felt and all of them telling me I would not change his mind.

"You may think you are strong enough to live by her side, but in truth, you _are not_ ready. You would never wish it to happen but one day, her scent would overpower you and you would take her life without a second thought," Carlisle warned.

He had both hands on my shoulders, holding me still so I could see the truth in his eyes.

"If, by some miracle, you were able to resist the call of her blood, I have no doubts that the Volturi would find us before Bella had a chance to live out her life. They would kill her without a second's hesitation and they would torture you by making you watch before they took your life as well." He took in a heavy breath. "We may have been friends, but they would save me for last, killing me for the simple fact that I allowed you, my son, to speak of our world to a human."

Carlisle caught me before I collapsed to the ground and held me in a comforting embrace.

"I am not saying any of this out of cruelty, Edward," he spoke softly. "And it does not matter which choice you make, Son, either way Bella would die."

My body was racked with sobs as I listened to every cruel word to cross his lips.

"Even in your grief, you have to know that I would never choose to hurt you. That is not why I cannot allow you to go to her. I am trying to spare you the agony of losing her to a fate that would be so much worse than you walking away."

As much as I wanted her, I could never live with the guilt of causing my beautiful angel's death. She had to go on to live a full life. I would suffer the torture and pain of living the rest of my existence alone if it meant Bella could be happy.

My body went limp in his arms. I couldn't fight anymore. I had no choice but to let her go. In a voice so low that Carlisle would never hear, I whispered my last words to her.

"I will love you forever, my Bella… my angel. I will hold you in my heart for eternity. Goodbye, my sweet girl."

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Carlisle and I ran back toward the warehouse together. I could have passed him easily, but I wasn't strong enough to say for certain that I wouldn't go back if I did. Every mile I put between Bella and myself hurt more than the last. I left a piece of myself in those woods, but I did it for her.

If I went back for Bella, I could kill her.

If I told her the truth about this world, the Volturi _would_ kill her.

Going back would mean lying to Bella forever and that was something I could never do. Not because I wouldn't want to, but because Bella always knew when I wasn't being completely truthful or if I was hiding something. This was a secret I could never hide.

I had seen my reflection and Bella would see the changes immediately. She would ask what happened and how, and I wouldn't be able to tell her. In time, she would change – grow older – and I would not. Again she would ask, but this time she wouldn't believe the lie. She would persist and beg for the truth, knowing I would give in.

It would be the beginning of the end. The end for her, for me, and for Carlisle.

_Wait. What if it didn't have to be?_

Why could I not have her with me when one bite could give her the same life I'd been given? I could go to her now, beg her forgiveness for my absence, swear my eternal love and tell her the truth. If she were changed, she would be safe. The Volturi would have no reason to kill her and I could have her with me to walk through this life forever.

"Edward, what's wrong?" Carlisle's voice broke through my thoughts.

Taking in my surroundings, I realized I had stopped running. I was standing in the middle of the woods trying to work this out in my head.

"It would work," I spoke quietly.

Carlisle's expression was puzzled. "What would work?"

"I have to go back. If Bella forgives me and still wants me, we could bring her with us. You could change her just as you did for me." I spoke quickly. "I could have her forever and the Volturi would have no excuse to come after us. We could all be safe."

_I was afraid of this._

He sounded less than thrilled. How could he not be? It was a solution that would keep the three of us safe.

"Edward, we cannot do that." Carlisle's eyes closed and the pacing began.

"Why not? It's the perfect solution."

"Perfect for whom?" He was facing me, concern written all over his face. "Have you not understood anything I've tried to teach you?"

"But she could…" I began, but he cut me off.

"Life is sacred, Edward. It's not something to toy with or take lightly." Carlisle rested his hand on my shoulder.

"But you changed me. Why can't Bella live this life with us?" I asked desperately.

His breath was heavy as he rubbed the back of his neck. I had already lost this fight. I could feel it.

"Son, your life was over." He stopped me before I could argue. "You had mere hours left before I took you away. Even with that knowledge, it was a struggle for me to take what remaining time you had left." He gaze held mine. "Bella has so many years ahead of her and it would be morally wrong to steal that from her.

"Life is a gift from God, Edward. Taking Bella's life from her just so you wouldn't have to give her up would be the most egregious act against Him that we could ever commit. It would doom our souls for all eternity."

"What if we tell her the truth and give her the choice."

"So you wouldn't take her life, but you would be asking her to willingly give hers up, which is also an act against Him. A choice like that could damn her soul."

Carlisle took a step away, giving me some room to breathe before he continued.

"Have you thought about what would happen if she said no?" That question hurt on so many levels. "You know the consequences of Bella knowing the truth. Are you willing to risk her life and her soul just so you don't have to lose her?"

My shoulders slumped as I gave up. "I could never…"

I was in Carlisle's comforting embrace again.

"I'm sorry, Son."

"I love her so much, Carlisle."

"I know you do." He stepped back to look me in the eye. "Your last words were of her, Edward. She will always be in your heart, but you must be strong enough now to allow her to live her life."

"I have always lived my life for her. I will not claim to be strong enough, but I trust that you will help me when I'm not. I would do anything for her."

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Carlisle knew I needed time and he was giving me just that as we spent the remainder of our trip back to the warehouse in silence. My mind brought back every memory and image of Bella and our lives together as I ran. I wouldn't allow myself to forget her again.

The sun had set and we walked the final few miles.

"Are we going back home now?" I asked, breaking the long silence.

"After the day you've had, it would be best," Carlisle answered.

"What about the warehouse? What will you do with my parents' things?"

"I will keep it for now and when you're ready, we can come back."

"It has been difficult," I agreed, "but I should get this over with. There is no sense holding on to it any longer."

"If you're sure, we'll stay as long as you need."

We spent the next two days in the warehouse, going through every box and every piece of paper connected with my old life. I had shared some of the memories I'd had with Carlisle as we worked. After my stories, he was thoroughly convinced that my mother had the same ability that I did, but no one knew to take it for what it was.

He had listened carefully to all the memories I would share about my father and a few times I'd caught the desire in his thoughts for he and I to share the same kind of relationship.

The bond of a father and his son.

I respected Carlisle immensely, just as I did my real father. Carlisle gave me life, guided me on the right path, did everything in his power to keep me safe and when I needed it, he was there to comfort me and keep me sane when grief and madness threatened to take over. It was time he knew that I already felt the bond that he wanted so badly.

As I closed up the final box, I stood and walked to the pile of boxes Carlisle was organizing by the wall.

"Are you sure this is all you want to keep? There has to be more…"

I cut him off. "This is probably more than I should keep. I have been thinking a lot the last couple of days and I've decided that I need to let everything go. It's not just Bella I have to let go of. It will do me no good to dwell on my old life."

"Edward, you don't have to…"

"I know," I said, cutting him off again. "I had amazing parents, Carlisle, but they're gone. I will always love them, but my world is so different now." I paused, not speaking until he looked up at me. "I have you to watch over me, to teach me and guide me through this life. It is everything I could ask for from…a father."

"Edward," he whispered with a look of awe on his face.

"It is what you are to me, Carlisle, and I am proud to walk through this life with you as your son. Thank you for bringing me here and giving me back so many things I thought I had lost. "

I hugged him briefly and backed away.

"Now let's get these things home."

* * *

><p><strong>Poor Edward. He wanted her back so bad, but Carlisle was right. He had to let Bella go to live her life. He couldn't take that away from her. But he'll never forget her.<strong>

**Big hugs to everyone and thanks for reading. As always, don't forget to tell me what you think. I love to hear it. Until next time…much love to you - D**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story.**

**Many thanks to my amazing team. I couldn't do this without you: ellachanted, vintagecarousel, Kate22689 and AgoodWITCH Love ya tons, ladies.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 13<strong>

**BPOV**

The city was nothing like I expected – so many people, so much noise – it was overwhelming. When I stepped off the streetcar, I looked around with wide eyes and froze in place, not knowing which way to go first. I knew I had to get away from home, but I had no plan for what to do when I got here. I was suddenly terrified. A tap on my shoulder made me jump.

"Everything okay, Miss?" the driver asked.

"Yes, Sir, I was just getting my bearings. It has been some time since I've been here." Another lie.

"Perhaps I can point you in the right direction."

I was thankful for his offer, but I couldn't let him know that I had nowhere to go. What if he reported me to the policeman I saw standing on the corner? They would make me go home and I couldn't have that.

"Thank you, Sir, but I will be fine." I smiled at him. "Though, I would like to get some food before I go meet my family."

"Oh, well then, if it's food you're looking for there is a diner right around that corner there." Luckily, he pointed in the opposite direction from where he was heading. "Best eggs in town, I promise you."

"Thank you, Sir. I appreciate your kindness." My smile widened at the man who looked happy to help out a stranger.

"Don't mention it, Miss." He tipped his hat and nodded to me. "Now you run along and when you get there ask for Miss Emma, she'll treat you right."

I dipped my head to him slightly and thanked him again before turning around. I had only taken a few steps when he called for me again.

"Oh Miss." I turned. "Tell her Clyde sent you."

His sly smile and wiggling eyebrows reminded me of Edward. He made the same face whenever he was up to something. It made me giggle to see those same characteristics in someone else.

"I will and thank you so much," I said to him as I turned and walked in the direction of the diner.

The bell over the door sounded as I stepped inside. The diner was nice and nearly empty which left many tables to choose from. I stood for a second, deciding whether to sit at the counter or a table where I could keep my privacy. Finally choosing to sit in a booth in the corner, I walked quickly to take my seat.

A pretty waitress with short brown hair walked up to me and placed a menu on the table. She was smiling when I looked up at her and she seemed nice enough so I was able to relax a little.

"What'll ya have, sweetie?" she asked.

"I was told to ask for Miss Emma," I stammered, suddenly nervous.

"That's me, sugar. How can I help you?" Her bright smile was so warm and inviting. I liked her immediately.

"Um, I would like some breakfast please. Clyde told me you have the best eggs in town."

She obviously thought well of him if her wider smile and twinkling eyes were any indication. I felt a pang of jealousy but pushed the feeling aside quickly. She looked to the floor, saw my small suitcase and brought her eyes back to me.

"Oh did he now? That man would know, comes here three times a week, he does." She scribbled something on her order pad. "So, a plate of eggs...you like bacon?" she asked quickly.

I nodded. She finished scribbling and tapped her pen on the paper to finish off the order.

"Comin' right up, sweetie." With that, she turned and walked away, taking the menu with her.

While I waited, I looked around the place, taking in the pictures on the walls and the feel of the place in general. I felt comfortable here which helped with some of the fear I had when I stepped off the streetcar.

I was watching the people milling around on the streets when I heard the plate touch the table in front of me. The smell caught my nose before I turned and inhaled deeply. It smelled so good and I was hungry.

"Thank you, Miss Emma," I said as I took my first bite.

They were so good, almost rivaling Mrs. Jones' eggs but I would never reveal that little fact. I quickly took one more bite and she laughed as she took a seat opposite me. Swallowing the second bite, I took a sip of water before I spoke.

"Clyde wasn't kidding. These are the best eggs I've ever tasted." I complimented the food. It was only a small lie but she turned and winked at the cook so I knew I said the right thing.

"So tell me, sweetie, where ya heading all by your lonesome," she asked casually.

I paused a bit and hoped she didn't notice. I gave her the same answer I gave Clyde. Since she said she saw him often, I figured it would be best for them to have the same story.

"I came to stay with some family for a while," I told her.

She gave me that look that Mrs. Jones would give when she knew I was being less than truthful. I had to fight off the sadness again as I thought of her, wondering what she told my father this morning when she 'found' my bed empty. Thankfully, Miss Emma pulled me from my thoughts before they ran their course.

"Well it's good you have somewhere to go." She shook her head and frowned. "I swear that YWCA a couple blocks over," she pointed in the general direction, "should be paying me for all the young girls like yourself that I send over there."

I smiled around the fork as I took another bite. Miss Emma wasn't quite as direct as Mrs. Jones, but I knew exactly what she was trying to do. She didn't really believe my story so she wanted me to know there was somewhere I could go. Yes, I definitely liked her.

A short time later, I had finished my breakfast and sat for a second, sipping my water and waiting for Miss Emma to come back with my tab. After delivering a couple of orders to other customers, she made her way over to my table.

"All through here, sweetie?" she asked, reaching for my plate.

"Yes ma'am," I replied.

"Such manners." She grabbed the plate with a smirk. "Now you run along. Your family must be worried sick that you haven't arrived yet."

I saw her wink and a rush of guilt hit me. I hated to lie, especially to someone so nice. So, rather than reveal the truth, I changed the subject.

"How much do I owe you for those eggs?" I flashed a sweet smile of my own.

She waved her empty hand at me. "No charge, sweetie. Any guest of Clyde's gets the first one free."

"I cannot accept such charity," I began to say, but her glare silenced my protest. "All right," I accepted defeat, "but just this once. Should I make it back this way, I will be paying my own way."

She laughed. "I expect so, sweetie."

With that, she turned and walked away. Several minutes later, I grabbed my bag and suitcase and walked out into the city streets. Positive that I could feel Miss Emma's eyes on me, I made a point to cross the street, walking in the opposite direction of the YWCA she had pointed out. Once the diner was out of sight, I walked a few blocks over and found myself right where she intended me to be.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

"Bella, wake up."

I was being shaken…hard.

"Come on, wake up. We have to go."

I peeked out of one eye. "Lizzy, it's still dark out."

More shaking.

"They're coming. Hurry!"

That woke me up and I scrambled to grab my bag before we started running. The boys were already out the back door and just as I hit the alley behind the empty building, I heard the crash of the front door being forced open. The four of us took off running, rounding the corner at the end of the block. Out of breath, I peeked around the corner and saw the policeman standing in the empty alley not knowing which way we went. We were safe for another night.

"That was close," Johnny said. "Come on, let's get out of here before they come this way." The four of us took off running before we could get caught.

Moving from one abandoned building to the next just to sleep with a roof over our heads was no way to live, but it was all we had. After my first two weeks in the city, I was out of money, hungry and living in the streets. I didn't know what to expect when I got here but it was definitely not this.

I tried to get a room at the YWCA when I left the diner on my first day here, but they wanted to charge me two dollars a day and with only ten dollars in my bag, I knew I couldn't stay there permanently. Unable to find any place less expensive, I slept in alleyways the first couple of weeks. I did, however, pay for a room a few nights when I didn't want to be out in the rain and because of that, my money ran out sooner than I'd planned.

I was scared and alone and had no one to count on. I had gone in to see Miss Emma a few more times than I should have just to feel a little less lonely, but when she noticed the state of the clothes I was wearing, I knew that she suspected something. I couldn't go back again.

A couple of days later, I was running through one of the alleys after stealing a couple of apples to eat for lunch when I ran into them. My feet stopped so fast at the sight of them that I almost fell forward onto the cement. The three of them – two boys and one girl – stood and faced me looking angry, like I had intruded on something secretive. I turned quickly, running back the way I had come but I wasn't fast enough.

One of the boys flew in front of me and I ran directly into his chest. I backed up a couple of steps but knew without looking that the other two were right behind me. I froze, knowing I wasn't going to get away from them.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean…" I stammered, terrified by their hard stares.

"What are you doing here?" The biggest boy spoke while scanning me from head to foot. "You don't belong here."

The tone of his voice scared me, almost making me cry.

"I didn't…" I tried to speak again.

"What do you think, Jack?" He nodded to the boy behind me as he reached out to tug on my dress just below my waist. "Does she look like she belongs on _my street_?"

There was a laugh behind me, but I was afraid to turn around to even look at the other two.

"Nah, Johnny," the other boy said as he walked slowly in front of me to stand next to the boy blocking my way. "She looks like one of those rich girls…" he eyed me from head to toe just like the other boy, "…doesn't belong here at all."

My body began to tremble; I had never been so scared in my life. I took another step backwards and felt a hand on my back, stopping me. The menacing presence of the two boys in front of me made me forget about the girl all together, but I was quickly reminded when I felt her breath on my ear. When she spoke, her whispered words scared me more than the two boys in front of me did.

"Don't move. What makes you think you're going anywhere, rich girl?"

The apples fell from my hands and I hoped she couldn't feel me shaking.

"I've seen you around, you know." She was still whispering. "What are you doing here, rich girl? Did you have a fight with mommy and daddy?" she taunted me.

"No," I answered in a weak voice, trying so hard to hold the tears back. "I…I ran away."

She moved in front of me with the other two boys, staring at me with narrowed eyes.

"Wh…" she started to say.

"My Ed…my fiancé died." I struggled with the words, looking at the ground now. "I had to get away. I couldn't live there anymore."

"So why did you come here?" she asked quickly.

"I needed a new life." I picked my head up to look at her, hoping to look braver than I felt. "This was the closest place to start."

"Not too smart are ya?" the smaller boy asked. "To come here with no money." He made his statement sound like a question. "Couldn't you lift some from daddy's wallet before you left?"

"I had some money, but it's gone." I shifted my feet. While I wasn't quite as scared anymore, they still made me nervous.

"So are they looking for you?" she asked.

"Who?"

"Mommy and daddy, of course. Can't let their little rich girl get away, can they?" Her eyes narrowed again.

"I don't think they are." At least, I hoped they weren't.

"All right, rich girl…"

"My name is Bella." I corrected her.

"Well, I'm Lizzy." She hit the tall boy in the stomach. "This is Johnny and that's Jack. Stick with us, Bella, we'll teach you the ropes."

And that's what I did. They took me in, immediately counting me as part of their group. When Lizzy said they were going to teach me the ropes, she wasn't kidding. The first thing they did was take me to 'pick up' some different clothes. I hated stealing, but Johnny told me that my dresses made me stand out, so I got rid of them and started wearing pants instead. They felt strange and I did not want to wear them but I did everything they told me to keep from drawing attention to us.

They had been living on their own for nearly a year before I ran into them. Each one had run away from home just like I had and they were lucky enough to find each other, becoming like a family. After two weeks with them, they said that was what I was to them also – family. I had taken that for granted before, not realizing it until I was alone and scared, how much my family meant to me. But now that I had one again, I would do whatever I had to keep them safe.

We watched each other's backs, whether we were each other's lookouts when we needed to grab some food and run or when two of us stayed up all night to make sure we didn't get caught by the policemen at night for breaking into the old buildings to sleep. No matter what it was, we were there for each other.

When we had run far enough away from the building and the policemen trying to find us, we sat and rested for a bit. It was earlier than we had hoped, but at least the sun was rising now and businesses would be opening up soon, finding some food for breakfast was the first thing we had to do.

The three of them were planning which streets we would work today to get our breakfast. The shops that had their fruits and vegetables in crates out front were the easiest to hit, but, from the sound of their plans, Jack was feeling a little daring this morning. He wanted to get into the bakery and pull some fresh bread right off the shelves. It was dangerous and sure to bring the policemen after us, but he wanted to try anyway.

Lizzy and Johnny were all for the idea, but I had no desire to run from the policemen again today. So, as my stomach made its usual grumbling noises, I came up with a new plan. It was definitely going to be daring, but it wouldn't be Jack that handled the daring part.

"Hey," I said to get their attention. Three curious faces looked over at me. "I'm starving and I want more than an apple and a loaf of bread for breakfast."

"Yeah, and where do you plan on getting something better," Johnny asked skeptically.

"There's a diner about six blocks from here…serves the best eggs you've ever tasted in your _life_." I emphasized the last word.

I was laying it on thick because I didn't want to go hungry today. I wanted to get some real food and it was a chance for me to see Miss Emma again. I missed her.

"We don't have any money," Lizzy pointed out the obvious. "What are we gonna do, Bella, ditch our tab?"

"Certainly not. We're just going to have to get ourselves some money, aren't we?" I winked at Jack, knowing he would be up for this challenge.

"What's the plan, Bella?" Jack understood and his devious smile matched mine.

"When the streets fill up with people heading to work, I will go to the coffee shop around the corner. We all know they're the busiest in the morning. I'll be there pretending to be getting something to eat. Jack, when I give you the signal, you are going to run up, grab my bag and make a run for it. Lizzy and Johnny, you two will be around the block with an open door for Jack to slip into when he comes around the corner. Then you'll point anyone trying to catch him in the wrong direction."

"But how does that get us money," Johnny asked.

I smiled again, getting ready to tell him the best part of my plan. I looked at Jack while I explained.

"I'll only give you the signal when the man next to me has his wallet out. When you take my bag, you are going to push me into him and while he's trying to help me I'm going to take the money from his wallet."

"Bella, are you sure? You've never done something like that before," Lizzy asked, worried.

"Give her a chance, Lizzy. Girl's gotta get her kicks in somewhere." Jack came to my defense.

"How much do we need, Bella," Johnny asked.

"One dollar will feed all of us," I answered.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Everything was set. Lizzy and Johnny were a block and a half away near one of the closed down shops, ready to give Jack his escape. Jack and I were in the alley around the corner from the coffee shop, waiting for the right time. I pulled out my dad's pocket watch to check the time.

"Are you ready," I asked Jack, who was bouncing around excitedly.

"Absolutely." He winked at me.

"You know what you have to do, Jack, and I want you to do it." I eyed him carefully. "Hit me. Do not worry about hurting me, I can take it."

My heart clenched a little as I remembered how Edward used to take me to the ground with him when we would play our games. I knew he never intended to be rough with me or hurt me in any way, but he was so much bigger than I, so it happened without trying.

Pushing the memory of Edward away was difficult but necessary as I steeled myself for what we were about to do. If we pulled this off, we would be eating real food soon and that was worth any risk I could take.

Jack and I left the alley and walked to the corner, peeking around to make sure there was enough of a crowd to pull this off. When a group began to gather, I decided it was time, so Jack kissed me on the cheek and whispered 'good luck' as he stayed behind.

Walking slowly toward the crowd, I noticed a nice looking man – about as old as my father – standing near the back of the crowd, already pulling money out of his wallet…perfect target. I smiled as I approached him and he gave me a small smile in return.

"Good morning, Sir," I said politely, remembering the proper manners my father taught me.

"Good morning, Miss," he replied before turning towards the shop again.

Standing as close to the man as I dared, I pulled my bag in front of me and began rummaging through the contents. Jack recognized the signal and out of the corner of my eye, I saw him running full speed down the street.

I glanced quickly to my left to see that the man hadn't put his wallet away yet which would make it that much easier to pull the money from him. This was going to be easy and as I heard Jack's steps as they came closer, my body went rigid, bracing for the impact.

The collision lifted me off my feet and sent me flying into the man next to me, causing us both to fall to the ground. It hurt and left me in tears, but as the man moved me off of him, frantically checking to see if I was okay, I saw the wallet lying open and bills littering the ground. The commotion from the crowd was just what I expected it to be as a few took off running after Jack and the others were bustling around to help us.

"Oh Sir, I'm so sorry." I choked through my tears to apologize to him. "Please let me help you."

Hurrying to help pick up his money before he could protest, I grabbed two bills with my left hand and when I went to reach for one with my right, the pain in my shoulder caused me to double over. It wasn't expected, but it gave me the perfect opportunity to slide one of the bills into my shirt.

"Are you alright, Miss," he asked with concern as he helped me up to a sitting position. "Please, just sit still and rest."

He turned to pick up the remainder of his money before coming back to me.

"My bag," I said through forced tears. "Do you see it? Please tell me you see it." I tried to move again to look but he kept me still.

"I'm sorry, Miss. I think it was taken," a different man told me as he began to look over my shoulder. I jerked away and my sharp intake of air caused him to pause. He gave me a curious look before holding up his hands. "May I?" he asked.

I nodded my head and he laid one hand on my shoulder and the other grasped my arm, moving it in several directions. Each move hurt and the tears spilling down my cheeks were no longer forced.

"I am sorry, Miss, but your shoulder has been dislocated," he informed me.

"What?" I asked, afraid now that this was serious. "What does that mean?"

"It means that your shoulder has been shifted out of place." My eyes widened. "Please do not panic. I can fix it but I'm afraid it will cause you more pain. It will be brief and your arm will feel better once it's done."

"Are you sure?" I could hear the panic in my voice.

The corners of his lips curled into a small grin.

"Trust me, Miss. I am a doctor."

* * *

><p><strong>Bella didn't have a very good start in the city, but she's made some good friends to help her make it through. At least she's not alone anymore.<strong>

**Big hugs to everyone and thanks for reading. You're love for this story seriously has me completely amazed. I totally love you all. As always, don't forget to tell me what you think. I love to hear it. Until next time…much love to you - D**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story.**

**Many thanks to my amazing team. I couldn't do this without you: ellachanted, vintagecarousel, Kate22689 and AgoodWITCH Love ya tons, ladies.**

**I hope everyone had a great holiday. I truly apologize for this being late. Things in my world didn't line up the way I had hoped. I will do my best to make sure it doesn't happen again.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 14<strong>

**BPOV**

The time it took for the doctor to set my shoulder back into its place caused me to arrive at the diner a little later than planned. I winced at the slight pain in my shoulder as I lifted my hand to push open the door to the diner, but I forgot the pain all together when I took in the scene in front of me.

Miss Emma was standing at the table where Johnny, Lizzy and Jack were sitting, one hand on her hip, the other pointing at them and her raised voice left no doubt that she was angry with them. I began to wonder what I missed as she yelled at them, telling them to leave the diner before she called the policemen to come throw them out. I hurried in to find out what happened.

"Miss Emma." I placed my hand on her back, startling her. "Please, what is the problem here?"

"Miss Bella." She hugged me. "Sweetie, I'm so glad to see you. It has been too long."

She pulled away, looking at me from head to foot before nodding toward the counter.

"Go take a seat, sugar. I'll finish dealing with these hooligans," she turned to glare at them, "and be right..."

"Hooligans!" Johnny spoke up, interrupting her. "Bella, why don't you tell your friend…?"

"Johnny." The warning in my voice silenced him.

I turned to Miss Emma to find her staring at me in shock. I knew the words that were coming. I had to speak first.

"Miss Emma, please, these are my friends." I tried to keep my voice calm. "We wanted to have breakfast and I could not think of a better place."

"You have this one chance. I know you," she glared at them again, eyeing each one separately before giving them a warning, "and if you pull anything in my place, every business in this city will be watching out for you."

She turned and walked away, mumbling words that were never supposed to leave a lady's mouth. I sat down at the table and the four of us huddled close together.

"You know that crazy old lady?" Lizzy asked.

"She's not crazy." I defended Miss Emma. "Have you been in here before? Is that how she knows you?"

"No, Bella," Johnny said. "We haven't come in here before."

"At least, not together anyway." The mumbled words came from the seat next to me.

"What does that mean?" I asked.

Johnny and Lizzy shrugged and the three of us looked at Jack.

"I came in here once about a month after I came to the city. I was hungry and wanted real food. I tried to run out when I was done, but some old man caught me."

"Jack, why didn't you say anything this morning? We wouldn't have come here."

"I didn't think she would remember. It's been a long time," he said.

He was hanging his head, looking ashamed about what he did. I wasn't quite sure why though. We stole from people every day to eat, what would make him uncomfortable about running out on this place in particular. Before I could think about it, Miss Emma brought our food, dropping the plates on the table in front of us. It was rude but I understood.

I felt awful for upsetting her, but I was starving and wanted better food. And I missed her; she was so much like Mrs. Jones and I wanted to see her, to have that substitute for the family I missed every day. I would make sure to apologize before I left here.

We ate our food quickly, each of us more hungry than we thought. When we were done, Miss Emma came to clear our plates and I had a little surprise for my friends.

"Miss Emma, are your apple pies out of the oven yet?" I asked, sweetly.

"Of course, sugar. You know Clyde can't start his day without some good ole apple pie." She winked at me.

"We'll take four please." I smiled at her.

"What are you doing, Bella?" Lizzy asked when we were alone again. "I thought we were just getting breakfast."

"We can't pay for pie," Johnny added, looking at me like I was crazy.

I peeked around my shoulder to make sure no one was watching. Leaning down towards Jack for cover, I reached into my shirt and pulled out the bill I took from the man at the coffee shop.

"Check this out." I slapped a five dollar bill on table.

Johnny snapped it up, turning it over in his hands, just staring at it.

"That guy must have been rich or somethin'," Jack said as he grabbed the bill from Johnny.

"Nice going, Bella. We may have to try that again sometime," Lizzy said.

I remembered the pain in my shoulder when that man fixed me up and I was never going to go through a pain like that ever again.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

After the bill was paid and the remaining money was safe and secure in my bag, we all got up to leave. The boys were groaning and holding their stomachs and Lizzy looked like she was satisfied enough to sleep for days. I was happy that I could do this for them after everything they'd done for me since I'd met them.

"Miss Bella," Miss Emma called just before I stepped outside. "Please stay and visit with me for a minute. I've missed you."

I looked between her and my friends, not knowing what to do. Blowing out a deep breath, I asked them to wait for me outside. I remembered all the talks Mrs. Jones would have with me when I was in trouble and her face was always as stern as Miss Emma's was now. I would wager all the money in my bag that if she knew my whole name, she would use it right now, just like Mrs. Jones used to.

I sat down at the counter right in front of her and she stared at me with her hands on her hips. I knew better than to say a word before she did, so we sat in silence for several minutes. She was definitely better at this game than Mrs. Jones was, she would have cracked by now and told me what she wanted. I was getting nervous, fidgeting on the stool and wringing my hands together until finally she took pity on me and spoke.

"Sweetie, what are you doing with kids like that?" She shook her head. "You're a good girl, sweetheart, and they're nothin' but trouble."

I didn't know how to answer without telling her the truth. I had to think fast.

_What would Lizzy say?_

And then it came to me. "I met them on one of my trips to the city with my Aunt. We became friends and I come and visit them all the time now."

She narrowed her eyes at me and I knew she didn't believe my story.

"Where do you visit them, sugar? Have you been to their home? Have you met their parents? Are they even related? What do you really know about them, Miss Bella?"

She fired questions one right after another, not allowing me time to speak.

"I'm worried about you, sweetheart. This," she pinched the collar of my shirt between two fingers, "is not you. What happened to those pretty dresses I used to see you in? I cannot believe your Aunt or Uncle would allow you to wear such clothing."

This question was easy to answer. "I only dress like this when I come into the city." I smiled at her. "We run around a lot and I do not want to ruin my dresses. My Aunt had to mend several of them already and I didn't want to cause her any trouble."

Her glare was endless, making me uncomfortable. Then, unexpectedly, her expression softened and she gave me a small grin.

"Miss Bella, I am sorry for questioning your choice of friends. I have grown to care for you and I want to see you safe and happy."

"There is no need to apologize, Miss Emma. I'm glad to have someone like you to watch out for me."

Her hands finally left her hips and she was now leaning on her folded arms on the counter in front of me.

"Actually, sweetie, I did have a reason to call you back in here today." Her grin turned into a full smile. "I'm afraid that we've had a rise in business the past few weeks and I can't handle it on my own any longer. If your Aunt agrees and you're willing, I would like you to work here with me."

My eyes widened with shock. She was offering me work out of nowhere. I looked around the diner and it was busier than I had seen it in the past, but why would she ask me? She didn't _really_ know me or about my situation. It just seemed a little suspicious that she would offer without an inquiry from me.

"I'll let you think about it," she said when I didn't answer. "Please let me know soon, sugar. I need help here and since you come to the city often anyway, why not take several hours out of your day and earn some money. You can be with your friends and still take home some money every day to use however you wish."

I may have been suspicious of her offer at first, but once she said I could have money every day, I began to really consider it. I thought of Lizzy, Johnny, and Jack and everything we had to do and everything we had to steal just to eat and have shelter for the night. I could do this and the four of us could live somewhat honestly from now on.

As my thoughts began to wander, I heard a few taps on the window behind me. I turned and saw Jack motioning me to come outside, which brought my mind back into focus. This decision wouldn't affect just me, so I would talk to them first before giving my answer.

"I will think about it, Miss Emma. May I please return tomorrow with my answer?" I asked.

"Of course, sugar." She nodded toward the window Jack was standing in. "They're waiting for you." Her face showed a hint of worry again, I pretended not to notice. "Be careful, Miss Bella. I'll see you tomorrow."

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

I spent the first ten minutes of my first day pulling at the uniform I was given, trying to make it longer. The bottom hem of the dress fell just below my knees, showing off more skin than I'd ever exposed in my life. My father would kill me if he ever saw me and if Edward were here, he would probably have turned his back on me for showing so much of myself to others so casually.

Thinking of Edward still hurt so much and I clutched at my chest as I tried to push the pain away. It had been ten months since he died and I still wasn't well without him, but I was getting better. Most days I willed the pain away enough so I could function, but there was always a dull ache in my heart that would never leave me.

I could not let the grief get the better of me today knowing I had a job to do. So, just like every other day, I closed my eyes, took a few deep breaths and sent a silent 'I love you' to the heavens, hoping again that the effort would calm the ache enough that I could make it through my first day at work. When I could breathe normally again, I walked out of the back room to meet Miss Emma at the counter.

"You look great, sweetie," she said as soon as I caught her eye.

I just smiled at her while pulling at the dress again. I could see the customers staring at me already and I would have given anything to run to the back room and never come out. But that wasn't an option because I wasn't doing this for just me.

The day Miss Emma offered the job, Johnnie, Jack, Lizzy and I spent most of the day talking about it. At first, I didn't want to take the job because that would mean they would spend the day searching for food and shelter without my help. Lizzy convinced me to accept, telling me that when I brought the money home at night, we could plan better for the next day because we would know how much money we had to actually buy food, which would be a great change from stealing everything we ate.

With my reason firmly planted in my mind, I followed Miss Emma through the diner as she introduced me to her regular customers and warned them not to give me grief. After following her around for the first two hours, I was doing well enough that she decided I was ready to take a few of the tables for myself.

Panic shot through me as I stepped up to take my first order alone. It was fairly simple, so I was able to get over a bit of the anxiety I'd felt to start with. Once I had served the food to my first table and taken a few other orders, I felt so much better. It wasn't difficult work, so I was able to learn and keep up fairly well. By the end of the day, Miss Emma had turned over half of the diner to me, making me feel like I actually accomplished something.

After dressing in my own clothes again, I thanked Miss Emma again and bid her goodbye before running out into the night. I was meeting everyone in the alley behind the diner so we could go together to get our dinner before we settled down for the night.

The second I turned the corner, Jack threw his arm around my shoulders and guided me toward the other two.

"Make way losers, we got ourselves a working girl here." He grinned, tightening his arm around me and leaning in for a small kiss on my cheek.

"How much did you make, Bella?" Johnny and Lizzy said, almost in unison.

I laughed at their excitement and pulled my bag off my shoulder. Luckily, Miss Emma substituted bills for most of the coins so I wasn't walking with a ton of coins in my bag. I reached in to grab my small coin purse and pulled out three dollars and sixty-five cents.

Their eyes grew three times their normal size and Lizzy snatched the money from my hand.

"Bella, if you can make money like this every day," Jack said as he lifted me up to twirl me around, "we'll be eating like kings forever."

"Put me down." I giggled at his behavior. He was just like Edward, playful and fun.

He set me on my feet but didn't let me go as he moved his body to hug me from behind. I leaned into him and enjoyed the feeling of love and friendship coming from my new family.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

"Bella."

I heard a whispered voice, but I just rolled to my side, not ready to wake up yet.

"Bella, please wake up."

There was a slight jerk to my arm and I could feel the heat of someone's face close to mine as they whispered in my ear.

"We have to go, Bella. Please get up."

Jack's panicked voice finally registered in my head. It was his turn to keep watch last night or should I say tonight, since it was still dark outside.

"What time is it?" I groaned.

I wanted to reach for my bag to pull out my pocket watch, but Jack pulled it away from me as he pulled me to my knees.

"I don't know," he whispered. "It's still early though, not even midnight yet."

"Why did you wake…?"

"Shh, keep quiet," Jack warned.

He pulled my arm and we shuffled across the floor to where Johnny was crouched and peeking through an uncovered window.

"Are they still there?" Lizzy asked from her position behind Johnny.

Johnny put his finger to his lips without making a sound. He turned to Jack and whispered, "Is the back clear?"

"Yes. We should go now!" His whispered urgency scared me and I reached for his hand.

"Not yet," Johnny said. "Just a little longer, maybe they'll just pass us by."

Jack squeezed my hand and I felt the dampness of his palm. He was nervous and I didn't blame him. We had been reading the newspapers for the past four days and every day the news of the riots was worse than the day before.

The newspaper called it a 'Race Riot' – whites and coloreds fighting over god knows what – and we were stuck in the middle of it. The fighting was relentless with homes and buildings being burned down and people being killed in the streets. Screaming, yelling, sirens and the loud cracks of gunshots dominated both day and night.

Miss Emma had been begging me for a couple of days to stay home – away from the city – and forget about work until this was over, but it was an impossible request. The city itself _was_ my home. Also, if I didn't work, the only option was for the four of us to turn back into thieves, stealing food wherever we could get it. With the fighting that was going on around us, there was no way I would put my family or myself in more danger by doing that. They depended on me and I wasn't going to let them down.

We were all scared. Living on the streets wasn't the safest option when the city was being burned down around you, but we had learned to watch out for each other…learned to keep each other safe. It was what we were doing now, huddled in the corner of our 'residence' for the night while the fighting went on right down the street.

I curled myself into Jack's side and he let go of my hand to put his arm around me as we waited for the men outside to leave this house alone and pass us by. No one lived here anymore; it was just another empty space, nothing that should draw attention but just as that thought passed through my mind, Johnny's eyes went wide.

"Run!" he yelled and we all jumped.

Jack had my hand again, pulling me towards the back of the house just as a flaming bottle broke through the window we had been sitting in front of. I screamed when the bottle crashed against the wall next to me as I ran through the doorway. Flames licked the sleeve of my shirt and burned through to my skin.

Lizzy shrieked and Johnny panicked when we flew through the back door and they saw the flames covering my arm. Jack moved fast to put out the fire before it spread and we took off running down the alleyway behind the house.

We had to get away from the madness flooding the main streets but we had nowhere to go. The fighting was everywhere and we cut through more alleyways, trying to find a safe street to hide. We ran at least five blocks with no end to the yelling, shouting and screaming coming from the streets.

"This way!" Johnny yelled, taking us down another alleyway in the opposite direction from the loudest screams.

As he turned the corner, Johnny stumbled over a crate lying directly in his path. Jack and I rushed ahead of him before he regained his balance.

"Hurry Johnny," Jack called over his shoulder.

We were nearing the next corner when the familiar crack of a gunshot sounded and I went down.

* * *

><p><strong>*hides behind a rock* I'm sorry. I'm sorry. <strong>**In 1919, there were eight extremely tense days in late July and early Aug when the city of Chicago was in complete turmoil. Rioting was everywhere; buildings were burned and people were being killed. Bella and her friends were stuck in the middle of it all with nowhere to go. Now it seems that one bad night could cost them everything.**

**Also, check out Twi Network's Tuesday Teasers every week this story updates for an extra teaser. ******You can find them at: http:/ / twinetwork(dot)wordpress(dot)com /category/tuesday-teasers/ ****

**Big hugs to everyone and thanks for reading. As always, don't forget to tell me what you think. I love to hear it. Until next time…much love to you - D**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story. **

**Many thanks to my amazing team. I couldn't do this without you: ellachanted, vintagecarousel, Kate22689 and AgoodWITCH Love ya tons, ladies.**

**A/N: I am so, so sorry for this being really late again. Since I am late, I won't hold you up any longer. It's time to see what Edward's been up to.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 15<strong>

**EPOV**

Days passed like nothing while I simply went through the motions of getting through every day. My heart hurt every minute since leaving Madison and I had to force myself daily to keep from running back. I would never do anything to jeopardize Bella's safety or happiness. Instead, I said a prayer every morning for God to watch over Bella and keep her safe and happy.

Our lives had settled into a routine. Carlisle had accepted a position at the hospital, only working a few days a week so he didn't leave me home alone too often. My control had improved considerably in the past month, but he still had a few lingering doubts about leaving me to my daily routine of wandering throughout the town alone.

He tried to hide his concerns but nothing could be kept silent forever and he would slip now and then. I had never mentioned to him that I knew, but knowing his fears helped me to be extra cautious while I was out. Even with his doubts, he believed in me and I would never let him down.

I kept my thirst well under control and made sure to hunt before I went out if I was feeling the least bit apprehensive about walking near humans. Most days, I would stay out for several hours, sharpening my gift. I had gotten quite good at blocking out most of the noise, only hearing those thoughts I chose to listen to.

I had made several acquaintances around town recently and stopped to talk with some of them on days when I was feeling particularly lonely. Today was such a day and I found myself walking with the postman on his route, chatting away like two old friends.

Henry Monroe was a nice man with a wife and two daughters at home who – he happened to mention – were both near my age. I chuckled a bit when his thoughts went to his eldest daughter and how he could introduce us without being too forward. He thought she and I would be a perfect match, if we could only meet.

_I could invite him to dinner and introduce him to Abigail. If he simply hasn't found anyone, a gentle push couldn't hurt. Such a nice young man shouldn't be alone._

"So, Edward," he said, ready to ask about my status, "I see you out and about nearly every day and you're always alone. Never once have I seen you with a young lady on your arm."

His approach was a little less subtle than he had originally planned. I chuckled again, but stayed silent as he continued.

"It is surprising to see a young man like yourself without the company of a beautiful girl. Have you not met anyone yet or have you chosen to wait until you have more years behind you?"

My heart twisted and I smiled as I tried to rid myself of the sudden lump in my throat.

"Henry," I began, "unfortunately, the answer to both questions is no." I found it hard to keep the sadness out of my voice. "I already have the perfect girl, regrettably, when my brother and I moved here, I was forced to leave her behind. It was impossible for her to join me."

_Poor boy. He sounds so torn._

"Oh Edward, I am so sorry." He placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. "By your tone, I suspect you have _very_ strong feelings for her."

"I love her," I said proudly. "I have loved her my whole life."

_Then why…? Maybe she didn't feel the same for him._

He stopped walking and turned to me. "And her feelings?"

"The same." A small frown showed as I thought of the wedding we never had. "She and I were to be married before I had to leave her. It was a devastating loss to both of us."

_Married? What could disrupt such plans? If her family could see this look on his face – such pain. Maybe they could arrange something and he could bring her here._

"Can you not make arrangements with her family for you to be married and for her to live her life here with you?"

I didn't want to lie to him. Henry was a good and kind man who had always gone out of his way to speak to me and make me feel welcome in a place where I knew almost no one. His sincere thoughts about my suffering touched me. He was worthy of the truth or as much of the truth as I was allowed to give him.

"Sadly no. There were… unforeseen circumstances that caused us to part. Circumstances that would take a lifetime to overcome."

That was as close to the truth as I could get because Bella had her whole life ahead of her. I continued before he noticed my pause.

"But I pray to God daily that somehow, someway she and I can be reunited."

_Prayer is good, Son. God will answer._

I felt my eyes begin to pool with tears that would never come. I took a step in the direction we had been walking just so he would have to take his eyes off of me. Thankfully, after a few steps, he left me for a few seconds to deposit the mail in the box of the next house. I used his absence to give me a chance to collect my thoughts and push the ache aside once more.

When he came back, he clapped me on the shoulder again. "Edward, I haven't known you for more than a few weeks but I know, to the very core of my being, that you are an exceptional young man. I haven't heard a man your age speak of a woman like that in a long time. Your love for her pours from your heart and I am certain that, if you stand firm in your faith and continue to pray, God will answer your prayers in a way you would never dream possible."

"Thank you, Henry. I truly hope you're right."

We continued to walk until his route was complete for another day. We bid each other farewell and I made my way to the park to sit and wait for Carlisle to finish his shift at the hospital. He found me here every day just watching the people going about their lives.

While I waited, I saw a woman sitting under a tree, reading a story to two young children. A pang of jealousy hit me. If things had been different, that could have been Bella sitting there with our children. She was so caring, so loving that she would have made the perfect mother. I could see her as a mix between my mother and hers. Our children would have been so blessed to have her.

My attention was drawn away from the woman as a couple walked past me, holding hands and speaking softly to each other. I didn't want to eavesdrop on their private moment but their words were so clear to me, I was drawn in. They talked of love and their future and how perfect their lives would be together. I felt a twisting in my gut as I remember those same walks and conversations with Bella.

We had the perfect future planned and we would have been so happy together. But then I got sick and our future was ripped away from us. My eyes followed the couple as I remembered back to my time in the hospital.

I had always wished I could see her one last time before the end, but then thought against it because she would have gotten sick like me. At the time, I never wanted that for her. I wanted Bella to live her life, happy and carefree as she always had. She would have moved on, found someone else who could love her and had the children and family _we_ always talked about. She deserved to be happy. She deserved a good life.

Knowing what I do now, I had selfishly thought, more than once, that she could have been there with me. Carlisle could have saved us both and we could have crossed into this life together. Our dreams of forever would have been truly possible without the worry of illness or death ever separating us. We would have had an eternity to love each other and nothing could have torn us apart.

"Careful, Edward."

Carlisle's voice startled me, bringing my focus back to the park. Sitting next to me quickly, he reached out and pulled my hand from the park bench and smoothed out the grooves made by my fingers. I hadn't realized I was holding on so tight.

"Is everything okay, Edward?" I heard his concern.

I sighed. "Yes, just thinking."

"About Bella?"

"As always."

"I am truly sorry, Son." Carlisle leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, hands clasped in front of him. "Unfortunately, never having shared that kind of love myself, I can't begin to imagine the pain and heartache you're going through. I wish there was a way…"

"No, Carlisle," I said, halting his sentence. He looked up at me. "I understand and I'm not asking to go back. Bella deserves to live her life to its fullest and if I can give her that gift by staying away, then that's what I must do. It is my only way to honor her as I would have done as her husband."

_Such a hard decision to make._

"The hardest one I'll ever make in my life," I answered his unspoken words. "I'm not saying that it doesn't kill me every day to stay here, so far away from her. If I had my choice, I would probably be sitting in their garden shed – behind the loose plank in the back where Bella loved to hide – just to be close to her and to watch over her."

_But could you live like that forever? So close to her without ever being able to touch her. Watching her in secret, never being able to reveal yourself to her._

"Truthfully, no. I know that would never be enough for me. I would eventually break down and go to her and hope she would accept me for what I am and we could live out the rest of her days together. But that presents a problem of its own."

I had thought a lot about this in the month since we left Madison. I had tried to think of so many different scenarios in which she and I could be together and I always came back to the same problem.

"I would have to beg her to trust me when I said I couldn't tell her the whole truth and promise on my life to never leave her again. And after, if I was lucky enough for her to accept me without questions, when she began to age and I didn't, our relationship would have to change. As she got older, she would have to hide me. I would become her secret because no one in modern society would accept us once the age difference became too great. We could never love each other the way we wanted, always hiding behind locked doors just to share a simple kiss. It's no way for her to live."

I hesitated for a second before continuing, hoping to explain my thoughts to him so he would understand.

"I asked once if you could change her but you've made me see that stealing her life from her would be wrong. Well, if I went back to her and we lived a life together in secret, I would be doing the same thing."

_How so?_

"It would be like stealing her away to hide in the shadows with me," I explained. "She would never go out and experience life the way she would have if I was gone. Do not get me wrong, I wouldn't argue or complain if she stayed with me every minute but she deserves more than that."

"I don't think I've ever thought about it quite that way before," Carlisle said aloud this time.

My mind took me down a different road as I looked to the now empty spot where the woman had been reading to her children.

"She should be allowed to find someone who will take care of her so she never has a single worry. She should have every chance to have a family, a husband and children to make her whole." I swallowed the sting of thinking about Bella with another man. "I watched a woman earlier, reading to her children and I could see that for her. Bella has so much love to give and should be allowed to share it with someone who can give her the family and the life that I can't."

Pausing for a brief second, I thought about my conversation with Henry. "Of course, none of that stops me from wishing we would cross paths someday and things could be different. Hoping there was some way Bella and I could be together. But I've accepted the fact that it's not possible and decided it's time for me to live my life in the best way I can. I don't believe that, if our lives were reversed, she would want me to wallow either. I know Bella would have loved me enough to want me to be happy any way I could be."

"I see that you have given this quite a bit of thought."

Surprisingly, I laughed. "I have nothing else to do but think. And trust me, it's these thoughts that have stopped me from running back to her every day."

He laughed in return. "There have been days when I expected to come home and find you gone."

"I expect there were many days like that."

Another chuckled slipped out as I pictured the look on his face when he realized he would have to follow me back.

"What's so funny?"

"I was just picturing the bothered look on your face when you would have to chase me and drag me back."

"You're definitely not as fast as you used to be," Carlisle teased, knowing he still wasn't fast enough to catch me.

The sun had set while we sat and talked and I subtly looked around for anyone lingering in the streets to see us. Seeing no one, I made my move.

"I'm still faster than you."

I jumped up and ran towards home, laughing as I heard Carlisle yell 'cheat' as he followed after me.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

August was upon us and, while our routine had few variations, Carlisle and I had experienced a few personal changes of our own. The biggest being the apprehension Carlisle always felt about leaving me alone. I knew the concerns about my thirst always had him on edge but I was never aware that his fear of me leaving weighed just as heavily on him. The way he carried himself and the change in his attitude and demeanor were so much different now that the worry was gone.

Also, I had taken more walks with Henry and the two of us were becoming great friends. He may have been old enough to be my father, but he was a great man with so many stories to tell. His life was an interesting one and I found myself seeking him out on most days just walk with him and hear more about his life.

One of our walks in particular had us crossing paths with his family and I was finally introduced to his wife, Clara, and their daughters, Abigail and Lilly. I had heard so much about them, and they obviously had as well, it was like I already knew them, making our meeting friendly and comfortable.

Our meeting went so well that Mrs. Monroe took it upon herself to invite Carlisle and I over for dinner the next day. I immediately panicked. I wouldn't know what to do in such a situation. Could I eat? I had never made the attempt since my change and it was something Carlisle hadn't talked about yet.

Rather than hurt her feelings or insult her in any way. I came up with a way to postpone my answer.

"Mrs. Monroe, I appreciate the offer but I would have to speak with my brother first. His schedule at the hospital keeps him busy and he may not be free tomorrow evening. And since he does not leave the hospital until the evening, there wouldn't be enough time to inform you of his decision so you could prepare for such a large meal."

That would give us time to come up with a viable excuse to decline. Or at least I thought it would.

"That is perfectly understandable," she said. "I will plan a dinner for two nights from now and you can let Henry know tomorrow what time you will be there."

It was clear that she wasn't going to give me a way to get out of this. I kept the smile on my face as I agreed with her subtle demand while on the inside, I was more uneasy than I had ever been before.

"Come, Edward, you can escort us to the market. There, we'll be able to pick up all of your favorites for dinner." She held her hand out to me and I took it, placing it in the crook of my arm.

"Well, she has her hooks in you now, Boy. You better do as she says. She can be a frightening woman when she wants to be." Henry laughed before placing a soft kiss on his wife's forehead. "I'm off to finish my route, dear." He turned to me. "Edward, I guess I will see you tomorrow."

After an embrace from his daughters, he was off, leaving me with the three women. We began walking toward the market when Mrs. Monroe broke the silence.

"Edward, Henry tells me that you keep him company on his route every day."

"Well, not every day but quite a few." I smiled. "I like hearing his stories."

"Oh that man can tell a story, long-winded as he is." She laughed. "Let me ask you, why would you spend so much time with an old codger like him when, as young as you are, there's so much more for you to do?"

"Honestly, my brother and I haven't been in town too long and your husband was one of the first people I'd met here. Believe me when I say, he has done me a great service, keeping me company when the strain of being alone was unbearable."

"Don't you have a girl, Edward?" Lilly spoke up.

_Daddy said he was nice. He could court Abby. She would be…_

"Lilly!" Abigail snapped at her sister, silencing her thoughts.

_I cannot believe she asked him. Daddy said maybe… He's so handsome and I… He would never… Oh goodness. Don't look at him. Don't look at him._

She turned her face toward the ground and I could see the bright red coloring on her cheek. I had to hold in my laughter to keep from embarrassing her further.

Focusing on Lilly, I answered, "I do have a girl, Miss Lilly, but she lives far away right now."

Her eyes widened. "Is she pretty?"

_I'm sure she is. He couldn't be seen with someone who's not… someone like me._

The sadness in Abigail's thoughts surprised me. She was such a pretty girl and, apparently, she didn't see herself that way.

"She's beautiful."

The blush was gone from her cheek and even from the side I could see a frown. Feeling bad for her, I knew there was only one thing I could do.

"Just like you and your sister," I added.

Abigail's head snapped in my direction and the look of disbelief on her face made me smile. A tiny smile fell on her lips just before she looked to the ground again. I hoped I was able to help her, at least a little.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Carlisle had the next three days off from the hospital and, after I met with Henry to accept their dinner invitation, he spent the better part of the day preparing me for what was to come. Using our speed, he showed me ways to get around eating. It took some practice but I was able to make it through a meal and make it look convincing. Though I was still apprehensive, he assured me that everything would be just fine. He had confidence that I could do this without giving anything away.

Of course, he did warn me that, if I were being watched closely, I would have to eat something. The disgusted look on his face caused me to worry.

"Is it that bad?" I asked, afraid of his answer.

"The food isn't bad, if you can get past the taste and consistency of it." He shuddered slightly.

That was not a good sign at all.

"It's having to expel it later that is the real problem."

I didn't even have to utter a word because the look on my face obviously spoke volumes.

"Our bodies cannot digest human food any longer. So every bite we take must be…"

Oh, I didn't even want to think about that. I held up my hand, stopping him from actually saying what I knew was coming next.

"Please, stop. I don't think I want to know."

"It is something you're going to have to learn, Edward." He nodded his head. "Follow me."

Human speed wasn't slow enough for me as I followed him back to the kitchen. Each step was like walking to the hangman's noose. I stood in the doorway as far from the food as I possibly could. There was still some beef and potatoes on the plate I had been practicing with earlier.

Carlisle stopped next to the table, gesturing to the plate. "Come and take a bite."

Shaking my head. "No."

He laughed at me. "You can do it."

"I don't want to." I sounded like a child. "Can't we just tell them that you were pulled into the hospital and we can't make it?"

"Not after Mrs. Monroe has gone through the trouble of preparing a meal for us."

"But she hasn't started yet, I'm sure."

"But she has purchased the food already. We cannot cancel." He waved to the plate of food again. "Now come and try it."

"Shouldn't you heat it again? I am sure it's cold by now."

It was a ridiculous statement. I knew it taste the same either way but I was prepared to try every excuse I could think of.

"Edward," Carlisle's tone was more forceful, "you are going to walk this earth for many years. This is one of the _skills_ you will have to learn to convince the humans that you're one of them. This will not be the last time you are going to have to eat their food."

"But I…"

"Edward, sit down." Now he sounded like my father, scolding me for not eating my dinner.

I moved to the table, practicing my human speed the whole way. I stood in front of the plate, refusing to sit down, and cut away the smallest piece of meat. I lifted it three times, putting it back down each time, too afraid to eat it.

"Edward, just take the bite." He was more understanding this time. "I promise I won't make you take more than one."

I took a deep breath and prepared for the worst. Just as the food was about to pass my lips, I was hit with the worst pain imaginable. A scream ripped through my chest as I fell but Carlisle grabbed me before I hit the floor.

"Edward, what's wrong?" His frantic voice broke through the pain.

"Not twice."

Another scream.

"Edward!"

"I can't… It hurts."

My body curled in on itself.

"Why, Carlisle?"

My hands scratched at every limb as the fire burned out of control.

"It burns!" My eyes clenched tight against the pain as I gasped for air.

"No, no, no, this can't happen!" Carlisle said and I looked up in desperation, seeing the fear in his eyes. "I don't… just hold on to me, Son."

He held me against his body. His touch made the pain worse but I held onto him as tightly as I could.

"Make it stop! Please make it stop!"

"I don't understand. I'm sorry, Edward. I'm so sorry."

He apologized as I screamed.

* * *

><p><strong>Edward still loves Bella so much and even though he can't have her, he makes sure everyone know he's not available. He's prayed for a way they can be together and, little does he know, his prayers are being answered, as Henry said, in a way that he never dreamed possible. <strong>

**Don't forget to check out Twi Network's Tuesday Teasers every week this story updates for an extra teaser. You can find them at: http:/ twinetwork(dot)wordpress(dot)com /category/tuesday-teasers/ **

**Big hugs to everyone and thanks for reading. As always, don't forget to tell me what you think. I love to hear it. Until next time…much love to you - D**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story. **

**Many thanks to my amazing team. I couldn't do this without you: ellachanted, vintagecarousel, Kate22689 and AgoodWITCH Love ya tons, ladies.**

**A/N: I finally feel like I'm back in the land of the living. I've got access to a computer and my internet is working again. It's amazing how disconnected you feel from everything when your internet life is taken away from you. Anyway, thanks for sticking with me through this long break between updates. I'll do my best to get back on track so you can get regular updates again. With that said, let's jump back into the story, shall we? I think this is the longest chapter for this story, so I hope you like it.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 16<strong>

**BPOV**

Everything moved in slow motion as I rolled over and sat up. My eyes found Johnny and Lizzy quickly but I didn't see Jack. Panic brought time back to its normal pace as I looked around frantically. Finally, I let out a breath as I saw him lying face down on the ground behind me. He wasn't moving.

"Jack!" I screamed and crawled quickly over to him.

He didn't answer as I called his name again. My first thought was that he was unconscious from hitting his head on the ground. He needed to wake up. I needed him to wake up.

I yelled his name…nothing.

I shook him…nothing.

Unable to take it any longer, I rolled him over and my hand rested on his chest. His shirt was wet so I moved my hand to grab his face.

"Jack." I held his cheek and chin, shaking his head… still nothing. "Jack, please wake up."

I moved my hand with the intention of slapping him but the second my hand left his skin I saw the blood. It was dark and hard to see anything clearly but I knew immediately what it was. Terror swept through me as I began screaming.

"Jack!" I shook him harder. "Jack! Talk to me! Please, Jack, please open your eyes."

I didn't know what to do so I just kept shaking him.

"Jack, don't leave me. Please, please Jack, wake up."

Johnny was on his knees next to us, reaching for him. I pushed his hands away.

"Don't touch him!" I shrieked.

I pulled Jack up and held him to my chest. "Johnny, get help." My voice was softer as I rocked our bodies back and forth; still begging for him to wake up even though I knew it was useless.

There was no movement. His body hung like a heavy weight in my arms and I was powerless to do anything to help him. My cheek rested on his as I clutched him tight to my chest, silently begging God for answers.

_Why? Why do you keep taking them from me? First Edward and now Jack. Who's next… Johnny… Lizzie? What have I done so wrong that you would steal them from me? I know I've done wrong by lying and stealing all those things. I'll make up for it I swear. I'll give back what I can and I'll do anything I have to, to make up for the rest. If that's not enough, God, take me instead. Take me. I'm ready to go. Not him…don't take him. Please, please__,__ please, please, please._

A touch to my shoulder caused me to pull Jack closer to me. I couldn't let him go. My heavy stream of tears ran from my face onto his cheek as I fought to keep him close to me.

"Miss."

My fingers dug in.

"Please Miss."

I shook my head like a child, not wanting to hear their words. They were there to take him away from me but I couldn't let him go.

"Miss, he's gone. Please let us take him."

Whispers left my lips. "No, no, no, no, no."

"Bella, let go," Johnny's voice was shaking.

"I can't." My grip tightened again.

Lizzy hugged me from behind, sobbing in my ear. Johnny's face came into my view and he rested his hand on mine.

"Bella," Johnny tugged on my hands, "you have to let go."

Squeezing Jack tighter, I kissed his forehead and then his lips before I loosened my grip and let him slowly roll from my arms. I curled in on myself and cried with Johnny and Lizzy's arms wrapped around me.

There were a lot of policemen and a lot of questions and, thankfully, none of them seemed to care about the four of us being out so late at night and why. As hurt as we all were losing Jack, it would have been impossible to keep up the pretense and we would have been exposed. The policemen would have contacted my father and they would have sent me home. I couldn't go back there. Edward's memory was still too strong in my mind and my heart to be so close to that big empty house that held so many memories. So, as soon as it was safe and the policemen turned their attention away from us, we ran.

We ran until it hurt, until we were too tired to run anymore, getting as far away as we possibly could. Not even attempting to be quiet, Johnny broke through the door of the first abandoned house we came to and the three of us rushed inside only to collapse together on the floor. The silence in the house was disturbed by our cries as we held each other in the middle of the empty room.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

The sun came up, putting an end to one of the worst days of my life. Losing Edward was the hardest thing I had ever had to face, but it was a little easier to take because he was already gone when I found out. He didn't die in my arms. I wasn't there with him when his life left his body. I was spared the pain of having to physically let him go.

This was so much different. Jack was here with me. Jack was holding my hand when he was shot. Jack was trying to protect me when he fell. Jack was in my arms when God ripped him from me. The pain of that was one I would never forget.

As I sat huddled in the corner, I thought about how alone I really was. No family, no Edward, Jack was gone and Johnny and Lizzy were lying together on the other side of the room after they had cried themselves to sleep last night. I hadn't noticed until now that the four of us had drawn some pretty clear lines since I joined them.

We were a family of four, but as I look back now, we were always separated into pairs. Remembering the details of the past… _has it really only been three weeks. _It felt like a lifetime since we met. But, then again, it kind of was since this was a new life for me.

Looking back since I'd met them, I realized I had never sat for a meal without Jack right next to me. If I ever needed comforting, Jack was there with his arms around me. Any time something good happened to any of us, Jack was there to share it with me. As I sat alone in my corner, it dawned on me that I had never once woken up without Jack by my side. He was the best friend I could ever ask for.

Dropping my forehead to my arms, I cried as the weight of his loss hit me fully. I cursed God for taking him from me after I begged for his life to be spared. I cursed Him for leaving me here when I begged for Him to take my life instead. Jack could have lived and I could have been reunited with Edward. But I was left here to suffer; suffer a lonely existence without the man I loved and the best friend I needed.

How could God be so cruel? How could God take such good men like Edward and Jack and leave me behind? It was cruelty that I could never forgive.

"Bella." Lizzy's voice and touch startled me.

I lifted my head to see her kneeling in front of me. She handed me the handkerchief I always kept in my bag. Edward's handkerchief. It added further guilt to rest upon my heart.

"Are you okay?" she whispered.

I shook my head. "I can't stop thinking about him."

"Me either." She hugged me. "It's hard enough for me to handle. I can't imagine what you must be going through. You two cared about each other so much."

I pulled away. "What?"

"The two of you really had something good, but me and Johnny will make sure to get you through this."

"What are you talking about? Jack was my friend; one of the best friends I've ever had?"

"But Jack said…" She trailed off, looking curiously at me.

"What, Lizzy?" I asked quickly. "What did Jack say?"

I grabbed her arm and shook it when she didn't answer.

"Tell me," I demanded.

"Bella, Jack loves," she winced, "loved you. He told us how much you meant to him and how he wished…"

"He couldn't." My protest silenced her. "Why would he say such a thing? It's too soon. It takes a lifetime to love. I should know."

"No it doesn't. I fell head over heels for Johnny after he found me and I…"

"He's too young to know what real love is," I objected, silencing her again.

"I would hardly call twenty years old too young." She rolled her eyes. "It's older than you are. So, by your standards, are you saying you were too young to be in love?"

"No, but Edward and I…"

"Age means nothing, Bella. Time means nothing. It happens when it happens and no amount of time can say that it's wrong." Lizzy thought over her next words before continuing. "I fell for Johnny quickly and I watched Jack fall for you the same way." She smiled. "You should have seen him when Johnny asked about it."

She shifted so she could sit on the floor to my right, facing me.

"It was right after we walked you to the diner on your second day of work. The three of us went to grab some food and Johnny mentioned how sad Jack looked when you walked away. He made a joke about the rich girl who turned into a thief and stole more than just food."

Lizzy giggled as she glanced over her shoulder at Johnny, still sleeping on the other side of the room.

"He told Johnny to take it back and that he couldn't talk about you that way. Jack almost punched him while defending your honor. If it wasn't so obvious before, it was after that."

I sat in silence, listening to her talk about Jack's feelings like everyone should have known. Everyone except me, of course. This was all news to me. I wouldn't call myself completely clueless, though. Jack was always hugging me or touching me but I always thought of it as friendly. I never suspected it was anything more than that.

"I didn't know."

"While I find that hard to believe, Jack never said anything and Johnny never said anything when you were able to hear. It was a secret that Jack wasn't ready to talk about yet… at least not until you were ready."

"I don't think I would have ever been ready."

Tears filled my eyes once again as I started to tell her about the life I never talked about.

"Edward was my whole world. We grew up together, did everything together. He was my best friend. But one day, when we were thirteen, he kissed me. It was small kiss, just a touch on my lips really, but it changed our lives. I think I always loved him but with that one kiss I was sure. He was the one person in my life that I knew I could never let go of. Our love grew from there and if he hadn't gotten sick, if he hadn't died," I nearly choked on the word, "we would be married and on our way to starting our own family by now."

"Thirteen? Really?" She nudged my leg. "And you thought _Jack_ was too young."

I glared at her when she laughed.

"Sorry, just had to ask."

"You want to see something," I asked, ignoring her as she calmed herself down.

"Sure."

Pulling my bag closer, I reached in and grabbed the box I stole from my mother's room before I left. I opened it slowly to show Lizzy the ring Edward gave me the night he proposed. Her eyes nearly fell out of her head when she saw it.

"Edward gave me this when he asked me to marry him. It was his mother's wedding ring and I wore it proudly on my finger until I came here. I took it off to keep it safe. It's one of the few things I have left of him and I will carry them with me until the day I die."

"Wow, you really loved Edward, didn't you?"

"I still do… more than anything."

My heart hurt with the amount of love I still held for Edward but talking about him with Lizzy made it hurt a little less. Simply speaking his name out loud for the first time in months helped me to breathe a little easier.

"I think Jack knew that," she said, closing the ring box and handing it back to me. "I think it's the reason he never said anything. I knew he wanted to but he…"

Lizzy was cut off by the sound of screaming and glass breaking outside. It was the one thing that had managed to wake Johnny up and he was on his feet in a flash. There was no hesitation today like there was last night as he grabbed Lizzy's hand and then mine, pulling us from the floor.

"Let's go, now!" he commanded as we all ran for the back door.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

After a day to ourselves, I needed to get back to work. I hugged Lizzy and Johnny fiercely; afraid that this would be the last time I'd see them. The fighting hadn't died down and anything could happen while they were out there today. I was terrified as I watched them walk into the rain and out of sight through the diner window. With a heavy sigh, I walked towards the back to change into my uniform. It took me some time, but I pushed my emotions aside enough to walk into the diner to happily serve my customers.

Throughout the morning, Miss Emma watched me carefully. She knew there was something wrong but, thankfully, there was no time to ask. It was hard enough to lie to her, but to have to lie while trying to hide my pain over losing Jack was going to be a monumental task. Maybe if I told her I was upset because he moved away it would be enough.

But, would simply moving away be cause for the grief I was sure she'd been reading on my face all morning. No, she was too perceptive and would know it was a lie. I could tell an even bigger lie and say that I had fallen for Jack and he moved away, leaving me alone here. She might believe it if his feelings were as obvious to everyone as Lizzy had said they were. Well, obvious to everyone but me, that is.

"Excuse me, young lady."

A smooth voice brought me out of my thoughts. I turned to the table behind me, not realizing a customer had taken the table.

"Yes Sir. What…?" I gasped, frozen on the spot as I laid eyes on the handsome man sitting in front of me.

Handsome may not even been the right word but I simply couldn't think of another. He was thin, very pale with long hair the color of the sand at the lake where my father took us on our last trip together.

A smile spread across his face as his gaze traveled down to my legs and the length of the uniform instantly embarrassed me. It was far too short and his attention made me nervous. Another gasp escaped me and I took an involuntary step back when his black eyes finally met mine.

It took a second to collect myself before I stepped back to the table to take his order. I forced the smile back on my face as I spoke.

"I'm sorry." I turned quickly to grab a menu off the counter, sliding it in front of him. "Here's our menu. Would you like a minute to decide?"

He held up a hand. "No thank you, Miss. I'm not here for food." He paused. "I only require something to drink."

His smile grew and I shivered.

The smile was innocent but I couldn't help the feeling of dread that passed through me. Keeping the smile on my face, I recited his choices.

"We have coffee, tea, water…"

He held up his hand again, cutting me off.

"It simply has to be warm."

"Coffee it is then." I left him with a smile.

The diner remained busy throughout the day, thankfully leaving Miss Emma no time to have a real conversation with me. The feelings were too raw and I was in no way ready to talk about it. So, as soon as my day was done, I changed quickly, yelled goodbye and ran out the door.

I met Johnny and Lizzy in the alley behind the diner and the three of us ran to pick up our dinner. I was nervous and kept looking over my shoulder, waiting for something to happen or someone to come at us. I didn't feel safe until we were huddled in a corner together, locked away for the night, with Johnny's promise that he wouldn't let anything hurt us.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

_August 1, 1919_

_For fully four days this old city has been rocked in a quake of racial antagonism, seared in a blaze of red hate flaming as fiercely as the heat of day—each hour ushering in new stories of slaying, looting, arson, rapine, sending the awful roll of casualties to a grand total of 40 dead and more than 500 wounded, many of them perhaps fatally. A certain madness distinctly indicated in reports of shootings, stabbings and burning of buildings which literally pour in every minute. _

I stopped reading and skipped to the list of names of those found dead. Every day the list grew and every day I looked for one name, knowing I would never see it.

"Don't they even care!" I screamed as I threw the paper into the garbage can in the back of the diner.

I was wiping my tears away when Miss Emma came to the back.

"Are you alright, sugar?"

"I'm fine," I growled as I tried to walk past her.

She grabbed my shoulders. "You're not fine. Please, tell me. Let me help."

"I said I'm fine," I pushed her hands away. "There's nothing to talk about," I snapped as I rushed through the door and out to serve my customers.

The tension in the air throughout the day was stifling but I was too hurt… too angry to talk. For three days, I'd been scanning the newspaper looking for any mention of Jack and I never saw a single word, not even his name on the list of the dead. How was that right? How could such a good person go unnoticed? They asked us his name, surely they would have…

"Excuse me, young lady."

Every thought left my head as I turned toward that smooth voice. He slipped in unnoticed again, choosing the same table in the corner that he had occupied yesterday. There was no hesitation or fear today as I stepped to greet this handsome stranger.

"Hello." I smiled. "Coffee today?"

He nodded.

"Coming right up," I said as I went behind the counter and poured him a cup.

I wondered if he would drink it today. He ordered his cup of coffee yesterday, sat in his booth for over an hour and never took a single drink. It seemed odd. With a full cup, I walked back to his table and placed it in front of him.

He wrapped his hands around it, lifted it to his lips and took a small sip.

"Can I get you anything else?"

He shook his head. The diner was nearly empty today so I was safe to talk to him.

"I haven't seen you in here before. Are you new in town?" I asked politely.

"No. I'm here on a hunting trip actually."

I didn't expect his answer considering we were in the heart of the city.

"You're awfully far from the woods for a hunting trip."

He chuckled. "I was passing through your city and got distracted. So I decided to stay for a few days, hoping to acquire the object that caught my attention so completely."

My brow furrowed, not understanding how he could want to stay in a place like this with everything going on. I felt obligated to warn him.

"You should head to the woods, Sir, if hunting is your intent. The city isn't safe right now," I stated the obvious. "You could get k…" I stopped and amended my sentence. "Anything could happen to you."

He held up his hand again. The smile returned to his face. "I do not fear anyone out there. Besides, once I have what I desire I'll head back to my woods and be gone."

I heard Miss Emma clear her throat behind me. I'd obviously spent too much time with him. I turned back to say goodbye.

"Well, I hope you're able to obtain whatever it is you're looking for soon and you can move on to safer places. Please, take care of yourself."

As I turned to tend to an empty table, my conscience got the better of me and I turned back around, meeting his black eyes. His gaze drew me in and I took a step closer, reaching my hand out to him. He let go of the coffee cup and grabbed my offered hand.

"Even though you don't fear them, accidents can happen when you least expect them." I squeezed his hand. "Keep a watchful eye and if you make it back this way again, stop in and say hello."

"Your concern is touching. Thank you. And your invitation is too good to pass up." He released my hand and stood to leave. He inhaled deeply and smiled. "We'll see each other soon… Bella."

That caught me by surprise. "How…?"

He was gone before I could finish my sentence. I never told him my name. How would he know?

"What are you doing?" Miss Emma's voice was in my ear.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"That man has trouble written all over his face. You need to be careful," she warned.

"Did you talk to him?" I asked and then answered my own question. "No, you didn't so you cannot judge. Besides, he was nice and respectful. He did nothing wrong."

Why did she always judge my friends? Johnny, Lizzy, Jack and now this… this stranger. He was nice and I liked talking with him. If he really did come back, I would gladly sit with him again.

"It's just a feeling I get from him. I don't like him."

"You don't have to," I said as I turned to clear my tables.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

_August 02, 1919_

_Every little while bodies were found in some street, alley or vacant lot—and no one sought to care for them. Patrols were unable to accommodate them because they were being used in rushing live victims to hospitals. Some victims were dragged to a mob's "No Man's Land" and dropped. _

_The telephone wires in the raging districts were cut in many places by the rioters as it became difficult to estimate the number of dead victims._

"Estimate?" I wanted to yell but grief overpowered me and I cried. "You have his name. Why can't you say it? Why does his life mean nothing?"

I threw the paper away again when, for the fourth day, Jack's name went missing from the list of the dead. He had been my best friend, my companion and my other half since the day I met him and it killed me to know that no one else cared that he was dead. It was like he didn't exist to anyone other than me, Johnny and Lizzy.

After this many days, it was obvious that Jack would never be spoken of or loved outside of our little family. So, as I stood in the back of the diner, I decided that his memory would never be forgotten. I would make sure that the three of us kept him in our hearts and minds forever. He deserved that much.

With thoughts of Jack weighing so heavily on my mind, it took me longer to change tonight than normal. I dreaded going out there tonight. There seemed to be no end to the fighting and I didn't want to get stuck in the middle again. My heart sank when I looked at the clock again. Lizzy and Johnny were supposed to be here by now to pick me up but they were late and I feared the worst. Losing Jack was enough. I wouldn't survive if anything happened to them too. I'd lost enough in the last year.

Walking slowly out of the back room, I searched the darkened windows as I passed, but found nothing. I would wait for another ten minutes before I went out to find them. I was startled out of my thoughts when a hand touched my shoulder.

"Bella, my dear, I can't let you go out there," Clyde said.

"I can't stay here all night."

"Where will you go, Bella?" His voice was concerned.

"Back to my Aunt's house…where else?" I asked, trying to keep calm.

"Please don't lie to us, Bella," Miss Emma spoke up now. "We know where you've been going at night."

I panicked, not knowing what to say. How could they possibly know?

"I'm sorry, sweetie. We were so worried about you." She paused. "We followed you last night. We know you haven't been going back to your Aunt's house when you leave here."

Miss Emma ducked down to meet my eyes.

"How could you lie, Bella? We have wanted nothing but your safety since you set foot in this diner, and we have to find out that you aren't even protecting yourself when you leave here. Abandoned buildings are no place for children like you and your friends to be sleeping."

"We don't have anywhere else," I shouted the words.

"Please let us help you, Bella," she begged. "We can take you somewhere safe."

"And Lizzy and Johnny…what about them?" I snapped.

"We can find…" The bell interrupted her words.

Johnny poked his head through the door. "Hey Bella, it's time to go."

As I stood to leave, I looked between Miss Emma and Clyde, neither one was happy.

"Wait one minute, young man," Clyde said. "You and your friend there," he pointed toward Lizzy who we could see through the window, "need to come in here. We need to have a talk with you."

"Bella." Johnny eyes widened as he jerked his head toward the street.

Knowing he just wanted to leave, I walked to the door.

"Bella!" I jumped as Miss Emma raised her voice to stop me. Her focus went to the door. "Young man, he said we need to speak with you."

They weren't going to let us leave so short of bolting for the door, there was no way to get out of this. I motioned for Johnny to come in and get this over with. He was slow to come in but he did, holding Lizzy's hand, pulling her behind him.

The three of us sat at the counter and Miss Emma and Clyde were on the other side, directly in front of us. They both looked disheartened as they stared down at us. Johnny reached down to grab my hand and I knew what it meant; we were a family and we were going to stick together.

Clyde spoke first. "I know you don't want us meddling in your lives and you may believe you have everything under control but you must know, with everything going on right now, you cannot be out there alone the way you are. It's too dangerous."

"We're doing just fine on our own," Johnny barked at him. "We can take care of each other."

"You want us to believe that?" Miss Emma asked with a disbelieving tone. "If you can take care of yourselves so well, then where is your friend? You know, the other boy that was always with you."

My anger flared. How dare she use Jack against us that way?

"How dare you?" I shouted, taking her by surprise. "Jack is none of your concern. You've always made him feel unwelcome here and now that he's not around, you're concerned. You have no right."

Johnny pulled me to him quickly, whispering in my ear. "It's okay, Bella. Don't let her get to you."

"Oh Bella, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to… I just…" She couldn't finish as her own tears of grief took over.

Clyde grabbed her and held her close, trying to silence her tears. Clyde apologized and Johnny accepted it for all of us. It took some time to calm down but when we did, Clyde continued the conversation.

"We are very sorry for whatever happened to your friend, but can you see now how unsafe it is for the three of you to be out there alone. We want you to be safe and protected. Please let us help you."

"What exactly do you think you're going to do for us?" Johnny asked. "We've lived like this for a long time and no one's ever cared about us before. What makes you think you're gonna jump in and save us?"

He sounded angry but I could tell he was hurting and trying so hard not to let it show. Johnny hadn't shed a tear since that first night. He kept his feeling locked inside and I believed it was because of Lizzy and I. I don't think he wanted to show how much losing Jack hurt him, especially now when his need to protect us became his top priority.

"We can make arrangements for each of you to have a place to live and we can work out employment for the two of you." Clyde pointed to Lizzy and Johnny. "By tomorrow, you can be in a better place and there would be no need to live on the streets."

"You think it's that easy?" He was shouting again. "Do you think you can just wish a better life for us and it'll happen?"

"A better life!" I yelled, unable to sit quietly any longer. "If you knew, why didn't you offer this 'better life' a week ago? Why now? Why wait until one of us…?" I jumped off the stool, hitching my bag over my shoulder. "I can't listen to this anymore. Let's get out of here."

I hurried to the door.

"Bella, don't run. Let us help you, please," Miss Emma begged.

I turned to face her, my eyes boring into hers. "We don't need your help."

Just as I turned away from her, a window shattered. I fell to the ground, covering my head, hoping not to get hurt. Screams filled the room as a second and then a third window shattered, covering the diner in glass. Seeing the sudden orange glow coming from the farthest corner terrified me and I panicked.

"Get out of here!" Clyde hollered to everyone in the room.

"Johnny! Lizzy!" I screamed for them as the diner filled with smoke.

I spotted Lizzy by the stools and started scrambling across the floor to get to her. Glass was digging into my hands as I pulled myself along but before I could get within ten feet of her, a hand grabbed my leg, pulling me back. I fought and kicked, trying to get my leg loose but it was no use.

"Lizzy!" I screamed as loud as I could.

My chest burned and my eyes watered from the smoke, but I finally saw her sit up. Johnny came out from under one of the tables to grab her. I wanted to go to them but an arm circled my waist, pulled me from the floor and in a flash, I was outside.

The coughing hurt my chest and my eyes still watered against the billowing smoke floating through the broken windows. Fire burned through most of the diner and I panicked; Lizzy and Johnny didn't get out. I fought against the arm holding me, desperate to get back into the diner.

"We have to get away from here."

"Johnny!" My throat burned and my scream had no volume.

"They went out the back door."

"Lizzy!" I tried again but still no sound.

"Come with me and we'll find them." I recognized his smooth voice.

Turning to see his face, his eyes – which looked more red as they reflected the orange glow – were focused intently on the fire raging inside the diner. For the first time, that eerie calm was gone and I saw fear in his eyes. I knew by the look on his face that we needed to get away, so I gave up the fight and let him lead me towards the alley behind the diner.

The alley was empty. Johnny and Lizzy were nowhere to be seen. The entrance was engulfed in flames with no way for them to get out. My heart stopped and my legs gave way. My stranger was fast, holding me against him before I had a chance to hit the ground.

"No!" I cried.

I couldn't lose them now. I would never survive it.

I clung to him.

"There... look." He pointed to the end of the alley. "This way, hurry."

He grabbed my wrist and started running before I got a chance to see what he did. His legs pushed faster than I could move and I struggled to keep up. As we turned the corner onto the street, I looked left and saw nothing.

"Over there." He tugged on my arm, pulling me across the empty street.

We ran into another alley and I couldn't see more than a few feet in front of me. I wanted to scream for Lizzy and Johnny to stop running, but I had no air left. The smoke from the fire still burned my lungs.

"Stop." I clutched my chest. "Can't breathe."

"We're close. We can catch them."

"Please."

He slowed to a stop, turned and pulled me against his chest, telling me to breathe. My right hand pressed against his chest and a sharp pain shot through my arm. Yanking my hand away, I saw the blood trickling down my arm. In the rush to find Johnny and Lizzy, I'd forgotten all about the glass that dug its way into my hand back at the diner.

"Allow me," he said as he grabbed my wrist.

He was breathing deeply with a grin on his face as he studied my hand. His hands were cool against mine, which helped with the pain, as he began taking the biggest shards of glass out of my palm. The pain was more than I was used to and I cried out as each piece fell to the ground

"Ow!" I shrieked.

My hand jerked against his firm grip as he pulled out the biggest piece. The smell assaulted me as more blood ran down arm, twisting my stomach into knots and causing me to feel nauseous.

He inhaled even deeper while watching the blood run in streaks down his own fingers. My head was spinning and I was feeling even more nauseous as I watched him. Unable to watch any longer, I dropped my head to his shoulder, praying he would finish soon. Then, so quickly that I wasn't sure it happened, I felt him lick the palm of my hand.

I heard him speak but the ringing in my ears and the spinning in my head made it almost impossible to think clearly. It sounded as if he mumbled the words "so sweet" after he licked me.

"What?" I asked, my voice weak.

His head turned and I shivered when his cold breath hit my ear.

"I'm sorry, Bella," his smooth voice whispered before his teeth sank into my neck.

I screamed, pushed, hit and kicked to get him off of me. His hold got tighter with every attempt. I couldn't get away. As the darkness closed in around me, I heard screams… I heard my name… and then nothing.

Nothing beyond my screams as a searing pain spread from my neck to my arms, my legs and my heart. Fire burned every inch of me and no matter where or how I scratched and clawed at the flames, they wouldn't die.

* * *

><p><strong>Bella changed a lot during this chapter. Losing Jack was the last straw for her and her anger finally pushed its way to the surface. As it's been said, a vampire is frozen in whatever stage they are at the time of their change. So this new, angry Bella is going to make for an interesting vampire.<strong>

**Also, I have to tell you that the two newspaper articles that Bella was reading from are actual excerpts from articles that I found from the days of the riots. The words are a little off in some places but that's the way they were originally written and it's not for me to change. Sorry about that. **

**As always, thank you so much to every new reader that's hit the alert and favorite button for this story. It means a lot to me that you're reading this little story. For all of you who've been with me all along, thanks again for giving this story the love you do. Big hugs to everyone. You are all the best. Until next time…much love to you all – D **


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story. **

**Many thanks to my amazing team. I couldn't do this without you: ellachanted, Kate22689 and AgoodWITCH Love ya tons, ladies.**

**A/N: Okay I swear, no more delays. I've finally got my own computer back and working. I cannot tell you how awful I feel for taking a whole month to post this chapter, but everything is back on track now and I can get back to regular updates. Oh and I have to give a couple of quick shout outs to Sheeijan, Crackupmonkey and ameliakbedelia… ladies I loved your reviews and wanted to respond but your PMs are disabled and I wasn't able to. Just know that I didn't forget about you. **

**Now, enough of the boring stuff…let's jump right in and see what Edward and Carlisle have been up to.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 17<strong>

**EPOV**

From the second the burning started, Carlisle's mind went into overdrive. I heard every word of it, but was too consumed by the fire to care. It took mere minutes for him to identify the burning for what it was, but understanding its cause proved to be impossible. 'No vampire has ever suffered through the burning of transformation twice' he had said but no matter how hard he tried, no theory or explanation was plausible enough to make sense.

What perplexed him more was the duration. In all his years on this earth, he'd never known any transformation to last less than three days. Even my own change lasted a little longer than normal, concerning him at the time, but since it was only hours longer, he didn't think twice about it.

For two days, Carlisle held me close to him, always talking to me to keep my mind alert and focused on something other than the burn, all the while fighting to keep my hands from clawing the flesh from my body. Luckily, my strength had lessened since my change and he was, once again, strong enough to keep me still. When the last of the flames ripped through my chest, Carlisle's arms pulled me to him with all his strength and he held me while I cried.

From that day on, he had spent every minute away from the hospital trying to find a reason for what had happened. He spent the first year tracking down every nomad in the country, questioning them relentlessly in his quest for answers. He returned with nothing, every trip he took was fruitless, leaving him more and more frustrated.

The second year he had taken a several 'vacations' from the hospital, using his time to travel to Europe. He had found several vampires he considered friends that he believed could help him but they had no answers. His final attempt had him packing for Volterra. While he was reluctant to go, he'd said that if anyone would have answers, it would be his old friends, Aro, Marcus and Caius.

He was rarely nervous so as his thoughts before his trip turned anxious, it became harder for him to hide his fears from me. Remembering what he'd told me about their vicious nature, I didn't want him to make this trip alone, so I offered to travel with him, but he refused. Since he wasn't using conventional means of travel, his trips would take considerably less time than what was considered normal. Therefore, each one had to be made in secret.

Carlisle was adamant that I stay behind to keep up pretenses. So, at his insistence, I had begun to take a few classes at the local college. The classes were fairly easy; mostly reading and writing research papers but they kept me busy enough. And I was happy to have that as a distraction when my mind began to wander to unpleasant thoughts.

The worst of those thoughts came to me today. I had been worried and pacing all night when Carlisle hadn't returned home as he had planned. When he still hadn't returned thirteen hours later, my anxiety ate away at me and I found myself praying for his safe return.

After four hours on my knees, I finally heard a vehicle making its way toward our house. I ran to the window, throwing back the curtains. I couldn't see anything yet but I stood, holding my breath…waiting.

His thoughts invaded my mind before I saw the car turn the final corner to bring Carlisle home. As it was with every trip he'd made in the past two years, this one also proved to be useless. It didn't matter to me, though. He was home and he was safe and that was the most important thing to me.

I was out the door seconds after the car was stopped. Not caring about the sound, my body slammed into his as I embraced him.

"Father, thank God you're safe. I was so worried something happened to you in Italy."

Carlisle's laugh was the best sound I'd heard in the week he'd been gone.

His arms gripped me tight. "I am perfectly fine, Son."

He pulled back with a grin, though I could see the slight hint of the frustration written all over his face.

"You learned nothing." I didn't need to ask. His face said it all.

His expression tightened as he tried to keep his disappointment from me but his thoughts came through clearly.

_God forgive me. I have failed him._

I couldn't let him feel responsible for this, but he spoke before I could.

"Let's get inside, Son."

I nodded, following him through the front door and into the family room. Watching him drop into one of the armchairs with his head in his hands, I wanted to do something or say something that would make him feel better. Something to make him realize that this lack of information wasn't his fault.

I'd watched him come and go for the past two years with no answers, looking more disheartened after every trip. I knew he tried every possible connection he had. There was no way I could ever blame him for not getting the answers we both hoped for.

"Carlisle, I..." I started but his quiet voice cut me off.

"I know you don't want to hear me say I'm sorry one more time, so I won't say it." He lifted his head to look me in the eye. "I promised you answers, Edward, and I've failed you."

"No, you haven't."

He continued as if he didn't hear me. "I thought if any vampire would have the answers, one of them would. There aren't many older than the Volturi and they have seen and heard so much in their years, but they weren't any more help than anyone else I've spoken to."

I dropped to my knees in front of my father. "You cannot blame yourself for anything. I know you have done everything possible to find some answers. I cannot let you believe that you're a failure simply because what happened to me was something that has never happened before."

"But..."

I cut him off this time. "But nothing. You have done everything in your power to make sense of this and it's proved to be impossible. There is no one else to ask, nowhere else to turn. We have no choice but to let it go as an unexplained occurrence."

"But if I just..."

"No." I grabbed his hands, holding them in mine. "No more trips, no more searching. It's time to move forward, Father, and let go of the past."

Carlisle's eyes narrowed slightly. "Are you sure you want to give this up without answers?"

"Yes, that is what I want. The past is the past and we need to leave it there."

I jumped up, pulling him to his feet with me.

"Now, I was just on my way out to hunt." I smiled and bowed. "Care to join me?"

"You, my Son, must work on your ability to lie." His eyes sparked with a playfulness that I hadn't seen in quite some time. "Race you!" he shouted as he darted out the back door.

I laughed and gave him a little head start before I rushed out after him.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~

The month of September passed and Carlisle and I fell back in the old routine we'd had before his quest for answers began. He resumed his normal schedule at the hospital while I continued in school. My classes were still keeping me busy and I was learning so much.

On the two days a week I wasn't scheduled to attend class and there was no sun to keep me away, I walked with Henry as he delivered his mail. From the day two years ago when Carlisle and I had visited them with an apology for not attending the dinner we were forced to miss, his family had become great friends to us.

We were invited over at least once a week for dinners, which I had gotten quite good at faking. We had been there to see Abigail find a nice young man and we were granted the honor to be there for her the day they announced their engagement.

It was a hard day for me to be around the happy couple as it brought back so many memories of the day I asked Bella to marry me. Carlisle had taken me out for some fresh air before anyone noticed my sadness and when Abigail found us a short time later, I had hidden my emotions well enough to return with her to the gathering.

Their wedding was fast approaching and Henry always filled me in on the details his wife had shared with him. I loved that he would share those things with me as it brought back the happiness I remembered feeling during that planning period with Bella and our mothers.

Our conversations usually brought up old memories and today was no different. I was thinking of Bella and how happy she always was when they had finalized another item on their long To-Do List while Henry's voice played in the background.

His barking laugh brought me out of my memories. It took me reading his thoughts to know what had him laughing so hard and once I knew, I was laughing right along with him.

"They're just napkins," Henry said as he gained some control of himself. "Why does it matter what side of the plate they're on?"

"That's exactly what I said," I said as that particular memory flooded my mind. "I remember my Bella was so happy that day. I can still hear her sweet laughter as her mother closed the door on me after I was kicked out of the room for laughing at them."

_Oh no. I probably shouldn't be telling him about this._

He was regretting his decision to talk to me so I quickly continued, keeping the smile on my face to keep him from feeling guilty.

"One word of advice from someone who's been there before. Whatever you do, do not let them know that you think they've gone crazy." I chuckled. "We'll keep that between you and me. All you have to do is sit back and enjoy this time while it lasts. Oh and one more thing, make sure you learn what my father used to call 'the three magic words.'"

I stopped walking and held his shoulder, staring at him as if this was of some great importance.

"You must learn to say 'yes my dear' and leave it at that."

That had him laughing again. "I think your father was a smart man, Edward."

"Yes he was," I said, remembering the great man my father was.

Henry and I spoke of safer topics as he finished his route for the day. It was a great morning and after we had said our goodbyes, I realized that Carlisle's shift was scheduled to end at least an hour ago and he should have found me by now. As I made my way to the hospital to find him, I caught his frantic thoughts.

_Please let her live. Please let her live. She can't die, not like this. This can't happen. I won't let it happen._

Hearing him now, I assumed he was operating on someone and he was losing the battle to save her life. It wasn't uncommon for him to get so involved with those he tried to save. So I took a seat on a bench outside the hospital to wait for him.

After talking about her today, my mind drifted to Bella again while I waited. It had been so long since I'd seen her and I wondered if she was happy. If she finally found someone to love... someone who would love her in return. I wondered if she was married yet with a family of her own. As much as I pained me to even think it, I hoped she was. Bella would have been a great mother.

The steady ache that was always in my chest began to grow as I thought about my Bella with a whole new life. I knew she deserved it but the selfish part of me never wanted her to move on to find someone else. It felt like she was forgetting all about me and the love we shared. I never wanted her to forget because I knew I never would. She was my Bella and she...

_No! Fight, sweetheart, please. I can't lose you._

Carlisle's words shocked me out of my thoughts. I had never heard him refer to anyone this way.

_I won't let you die, Esme. Dear God, please give me the strength to save her. I've done it once. I can do it again. Please hang on, sweetheart. For me, please._

This wasn't normal. This wasn't Carlisle trying to save a patient. This was something more than that.

"Carlisle," I called out to him knowing he would hear me.

"Edward, thank God," he answered. "I need you to go home now. I need to get her out of here. I have to save her and I need your help."

"What are you...?"

"Go now!" he ordered. "I'll get her out soon and meet you there."

I didn't argue any longer and hurried home. By his last statement to me, I knew what he planned to do, but I couldn't figure out why. He had told me why he changed me, but I couldn't figure out why he was considering doing it again.

I had been in the house for less than twenty minutes when the back door crashed open and Carlisle flew upstairs carrying someone in his arms.

"What are you doing, Carlisle?" I asked, following him into the bedroom.

"Stay with me, Esme. Stay with me."

"Carlisle," I said his name again.

"I will save you. I swear it."

"Carlisle!" I shouted when he ignored me for the second time.

"Edward, you have to help me." He looked frazzled, upset and torn. "Promise me that if I don't stop, you will get me away from her."

He didn't give me a chance to answer or even ask a single question before his teeth sliced through her neck.

"Dear God!" I exclaimed as I picked up the scent.

The smell of her blood almost brought me to my knees and I suddenly didn't care what Carlisle had asked of me. I wanted a taste of the human lying on the bed in front of me.

One step in her direction was all I was allowed before Carlisle's body slammed into mine, knocking me through the wall and into the hallway.

"We have to go," he said quickly as he pulled me away from the delicious scent of blood and out into the woods behind the house.

As soon as I was outside with the fresh air flowing through me, I regained control of my senses enough to hear her screaming. Carlisle wasn't holding me anymore. He was sitting with his back to one of the trees, knees held tight against his chest, rocking back and forth and whispering 'I'm sorry, Esme' over and over again.

I approached him slowly, afraid to startle him, but he was so withdrawn into his own mind that he didn't even notice me kneel next to him. I laid a hand gently on his shoulder with no reaction.

"Carlisle," I said quietly.

It was like he didn't hear me as his chanting continued.

"Carlisle." I tried again, this time with a gently shake.

No change.

"Father, please," I laid a hand on top of his, "talk to me. Let me help you."

"What have I done?" His voice was barely above a whisper. "How could I hurt her like that?"

"Who?" I asked, still clueless about the woman in the bedroom. "Who is she?"

"What kind of monster am I? How could I...?" He lifted his head a fraction of an inch. "I remember her; so young...so full of life. She was pretty but still just a girl and now she's... now she's..."

His behavior was beginning to frighten me. This wasn't the strong, confident man I had come to know so well. Even with my own change, he didn't act like this or so he said. Acting on my mother's wishes, he believed he was justified and whatever guilt he may have felt in the beginning was quickly washed away the longer we spent together.

I knew he'd said that he would never take another life the way he had taken mine, but this reaction went well beyond guilt. There was a pain in his eyes that I'd never seen in him before.

It was obvious that he knew the woman but he had never spoken of her before. With the exception of Henry and his family, I knew that he kept his distance from humans as much as possible and didn't like forming any last friendships that could possibly expose us for what we were. Because of that, his actions tonight were a mystery to me.

"Carlisle," I said as I lifted his face to mine. I spoke softly, not wanting to seem like I was accusing him of anything. "Tell me why?"

He didn't owe me any explanation, but I was curious. Why would he take her away from everything she knew and change her the way he did?

"I couldn't let her die, Edward," he said and then fell silent.

I certainly couldn't leave it at that.

"Understandable, but why not? Humans die every day, many of them right in front of you, but you've never felt the need to change any of them. Why now?" I took a deep breath before asking the questions I needed answers to. "Who is Esme and why would you risk everything we have to do this?"

Sitting down in front of him, I waited for him to speak. His thoughts were coming so fast that it was hard to read any of them. Only one thing crossed his mind frequently enough to allow me to see it; an image of a younger version of the woman who now lay screaming in his bedroom. I was just about to ask my question again when he finally spoke.

"Ten years ago, I was a working in a hospital in Ohio when a young girl was brought in with a broken leg." He visibly relaxed as he settled into his story. "She was so vivacious and so full of life for a girl of sixteen. I wasn't accustomed to meeting girls her age that behaved the way she did and it surprised me for a moment."

A smile crossed both of our faces as I watched the memory of their meeting play in his head. She was everything he said she was but it still didn't explain what he'd done.

"I checked on her more often than I should have but I have to say, I rather enjoyed the rush of energy I could feel coming from her every time I was in the room with her. After her cast was set, I gave her family the home care instructions and smiled at her as she shook my hand when I said goodbye." He gazed longingly at the window to his bedroom. "I've never forgotten her though. Her face has come to mind at odd times throughout the years and it's always given me a sort of comfort and made me smile."

Carlisle's thoughts calmed considerably as he replayed their brief encounter again in his head. The look of peace on his face as he thought of her brought a smile to my own.

"You care for her," I stated the obvious, hoping to bring him out of his thoughts again. "Is that why she's here?"

Unfortunately, before he could answer, a scream from the second story window broke him down again. The pain and agony returned to his face once more.

"My shift was over and I was getting ready to leave when I stopped to sign out at the nurses' desk. A chart was left on the desk and I happened to see the name. It was Esme Evanson, not Platt as I had known it to be. But it was so unique that I couldn't imagine running into another woman with the same name."

Carlisle stood and began pacing. I stood to match his position but stayed, unmoving, next to the tree.

"Curiosity overpowered me and I read her chart quickly before the nurse returned to her desk. I couldn't believe my eyes when it said that the woman was found at the base of a cliff. There was a note from a police officer saying that it was a possible suicide attempt."

He turned to me with pleading eyes, begging me to understand.

"I had to know, Edward. Please believe me." His words matched his eyes. "I never meant to... I only meant to look in on her to see if it was someone else. I had to know that it wasn't her. That God wouldn't be so cruel as to take someone like her from this world."

Carlisle looked back to the window.

"I overheard their conversations. They'd said there was nothing they could do. I ran to her room as fast as I could. Human speed had never bothered me as much as it did in that moment but when I finally reached her room, I nearly fell to the floor."

His pacing resumed again as his mind filled with the images of her bruised and broken body. Seeing it made me shudder and I could scarcely imagine the pain he must have felt standing in that room with her.

"One look at her face and I panicked. It really was her. The girl who had helped to soothe my weary mind over the years was lying broken in front of me." Carlisle dropped to his knees. "I sat with her for a moment and begged her to hold on, but her heartbeat was so weak, barely detectable, and her breathing was so shallow that you would think she was already dead."

He looked up at me, sorrow marring his features. He suddenly looked older than his twenty-three years.

"I don't know what came over me. Suddenly I felt lost. It felt like I would lose everything if she were to die. I couldn't let it happen. I couldn't let her die when I knew I could save her. That was when I heard you. Your voice snapped me into action and I got her away from the hospital as quickly as I could."

Carlisle dropped to his knees again as another round of screams reached our ears. His hands were pulling at his hair and, in his head, he berated himself between constant chants of 'I'm sorry.' He was going to go crazy listening to this.

"I never meant to do it again, Edward. You have to know that I..."

"I do know. And seeing what she means to you, I understand. You couldn't let her die."

He was on his feet again, grasping my arms.

"But I feel horrible. Don't you see, Edward? You begged me to turn your Bella and I couldn't do it. I refused and now I've done it for Esme without a second thought." He shook me a little. "Don't you see what kind of hypocrite that makes me?"

I would be lying if I'd said the thought didn't cross my mind when he first brought her home but the circumstances were completely different. He had to see that.

"Carlisle, would Esme have lived if you didn't do this?"

He shook his head. "Her injuries were too severe."

"Can you not see the difference? My Bella wasn't lying in a hospital bed somewhere, sick or dying. She was alive when I asked for her change. Esme had no life left. She would be dead now if you hadn't brought her here." With seriousness in my gaze and my tone, I said, "You stole nothing from Esme. You're giving her life back to her just as you did for me. There is no hypocrisy in that."

"Can you really see it that way?" he asked. "How can you not resent me for changing Esme and not Bella?"

"You said it yourself, Carlisle, we cannot steal another person's life from them for our own selfish needs. Once I was able to think rationally, I realized you were right." I took a deep breath and leaned back against the tree. "As much as I love her and want to spend eternity with her, I couldn't do something like that to her. She would have to leave her family and everything she'd ever known behind. Yes, I would get to have her with me but at what cost? There's no guarantee that she wouldn't have resented me for taking her family from her and I couldn't risk it in the end. I wouldn't survive if she didn't love me anymore."

I was the one to look up at the window this time as the screaming continued.

"Esme is different. She had already chosen to leave her family and everything else behind her when she made the decision that death was her only option. I do not even want to speculate what she had gone through to push her so far but _she _made that choice, not you. You did nothing to influence her or coerce her into changing for you like I would have done with Bella. You simply saved her from the death she wanted and gave her a new way to start her life over." I turned my eyes back to him. "You did the same for me. You gave me a new life when my human life ended. You've become a father to me and taught me everything I needed to know to live a good life. I could never resent you for any of it."

Carlisle pulled me into his arms. "Thank you, Son."

I pulled back from his embrace when the loudest scream yet pierced the air.

"And now you need to be with Esme," I said, looking at the window again. "From what I can hear, she needs you. Sit with her and talk her through this."

He didn't hesitate to run back towards the house. Before he broke through the tree line, he turned back to me.

"Thank you," he said to me.

I smiled, thankful that I was able to help him through his worry. Seconds later, I heard his voice giving Esme whatever comfort he could offer.

For nearly three days, he wouldn't leave her side. I spoke with the hospital and told them he was too ill to work and they wished him well. Esme's thoughts were becoming clearer by the second and if what I'd heard was true, Carlisle would be happy when she finally woke.

We were both in her room as her heart beat for the final time and fell silent in her chest. I was anxious to see the look on his face when she woke and spoke the words that only I could hear. I knew from his thoughts over the past few days that he would be happy.

"Esme," he whispered once.

_Could it really be?_

She sounded confused. Esme's eyes fluttered but didn't open.

"Please open your eyes," he said quietly.

_It sounds like him. Is he dead too? He couldn't be. Not him._

I walked behind him and whispered so only he could hear. "Tell her you're not dead."

He looked lost for a second but spoke anyway. "Esme, open your eyes. I'm not dead. I'm here with you."

Her eyes fluttered again and when they finally opened, they found Carlisle immediately. The caring look in her eyes matched every thought I'd heard in the past two days.

"Dr. Cullen." Her voice was soft… reverent as she reached up to touch his cheek. "Am I dreaming?" Her hand laid flat against his cheek. "Is it really you?"

His answering smile was beaming and he reached up to lay his hand on hers.

"It's not a dream. I'm here with you, Esme."

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><p><strong>And now they can be a family. For those of you who still doubted Carlisle's motives and sincerity, hopefully this chapter will help you see that he was never being selfish when he made the choice not to change Bella. He was truly sorry for that decision and it was Edward who helped him to see the difference in their circumstances because he understood. <strong>

**Now…really quick, before I go, I want to tell you about a few awesome stories I've been reading the past few weeks. They've saved me from the boredom I've been dealing with at work.**

**Choices by twilover76 http:/ / www. fanfiction . net/s/7220545/1/**

**Mine by SuzyQSparkles http:/ / www. fanfiction . net/s/7623135/1/**

**Out of Oblivion by Elvirina http:/ / www. fanfiction . net/s/7587848/1/**

**As always, thank you so much to every new reader that's hit the alert and favorite button for this story. It means a lot to me that you're reading this little story. For all of you who've been with me all along, thanks again for giving this story the love you do. Big hugs to everyone. You are all the best. Until next time…much love to you all – D**


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story. **

**Many thanks to my amazing team. I couldn't do this without you: ellachanted, Kate22689 and AgoodWITCH Love ya tons, ladies.**

**A/N: I just want to say to ameliakbedelia and carlaisabel… ladies, thanks for the reviews. I wanted to respond but your PMs are disabled and I wasn't able to. Just know that I didn't forget about you. **

**Now, it's time to introduce you to vamp Bella. See you at the bottom.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 18<strong>

**BPOV**

Scream after scream rang in my ears as a fire like none other burned through me. Nothing made sense as the feeling of having my skin turned inside out inch by inch was driving me insane.

Just when I believed I would spend eternity in pain, I felt the burn recede from my fingers and I could move them again. Another scream ripped through me when the fire that left my hands concentrated its fury as it tore through my arms.

I was given another quick reprieve when the feeling came back to my feet. That slight relief brought with it memories of the past.

_Flowers… cupcakes… a shimmering lake… a beautiful boy_

_The touch of silk… a ring… the beautiful boy… Edward Masen_

_A piece of paper… a crushing word… Edward's dead_

The memories disappeared with the next scream as the flames licked their way up to my knees and elbows. The burn grew in intensity with every inch of my body released from its hold. But with every inch I gained back, the clearer my mind became and clarity brought back more memories.

_Jack… Johnny… Lizzy_

_Alleys in the city… stealing… running… hiding_

_Fear… fires… gunshots… blood… Jack dead_

The fire burned through my shoulders and hips and my body jerked violently upward. Hands gripped my arms, pinning me down so I couldn't move. I kicked, scratched and fought to get them off but the hands moved to my wrists, pushing _my_ hands into the ground.

Panting replaced my screaming as the intense burn crawled through my torso, inching closer and closer to my heart. I fought harder against the hands restraining me, desperate to rip at my chest and make the pain stop.

Fingers squeezed harder and for the first time in forever, a voice spoke to me.

"It's almost over."

My body froze. Faint memories flashed through my mind again.

_The diner… pale skin… black eyes_

_A fire… friends trapped… red eyes pulling me away_

_A dark alley… screaming voices… dark figures running toward me_

The burn reached the center of my chest and my back arched as if a string tied to my heart was being pulled, attempting to rip it out of my chest. My scream was deafening but that voice rang clear.

"I'm sorry, Bella." I knew that voice.

I heard that voice and an inhuman scream ripped through my chest, the pain changed to pure agony as my last memories threatened to crush me.

_Johnny flying into a wall… Lizzy screaming_

_Clyde slammed into the ground… Miss Emma crying_

_Johnny's arm broken… Lizzy thrown across the alley_

_Miss Emma thrown towards Lizzy… the blond man at Clyde's neck._

I screamed again and my body curled in on itself as my hands clutched at my head. I wanted the memories to stop. I needed them to stop.

_Miss Emma and Lizzy screaming… Johnny punching_

_Miss Emma and Lizzy's hands on me… Johnny held against the wall_

_The blond man dropping Johnny to the ground… a voice calling for help_

"Bella, it's over." A hand touched my side. "Bella, open your eyes."

_Clyde dead… Johnny dead_

_Miss Emma ripped away… Lizzy ripped away…_

_A hand over my mouth… wind flying past me… four bodies behind me_

"Nooo!"

I gripped my head harder, heard a crack and screamed in pain. Fingers clamped around my wrists, pulling my hands away. Struggling against the hold, my eyes finally opened. The blond man was standing over me and the instant his face came into view, my vision clouded red.

Using his grip on me, I pulled an arm closer and bit his wrist. My teeth nearly met before he ripped his hand from me. He stumbled back and I lunged for him. My body crashed into his and knocked him through a tree.

We tumbled to the ground, rolling until I had the advantage. The thunderous cracking sounds meant nothing to me as I slammed my fists into his chest.

"Murderer!" I shrieked. "You killed them!"

His hand came up to block my assault but I couldn't stop. I wouldn't stop. He killed them and I wanted him dead. His howls of pain were like music to my ears and I swung faster and harder, hitting him with everything I had.

As my hand came down again, he caught my left wrist before I could hit him. Out of reflex, my right hand punched his arm to get myself free. I froze when his arm broke at the elbow and flew towards the trees.

"Oh God!" I screamed. "What are you?"

The hesitation was enough for him to launch me off his chest and within seconds he had me on the ground with my back pinned to a tree. Every attempt to fight him off failed as he held me down and trapped my arms behind me.

His broken arm held me down and he screamed when my head turned and I bit him again. His other hand gripped my shirt and threw me into another tree, breaking it underneath me. Before I could take a breath, he was on top of me, holding me down again.

"Don't make me kill you," he snarled an inch from my face.

"Kill me! I don't care!" I yelled back, trying again to fight him off.

"Don't push me," he growled.

"Do it!" I shouted. "You killed my family! There's nothing left."

A hiss left my throat and I snapped at him again, my teeth missing his shoulder by inches.

"What? Can't do it!" I taunted him. "Can't kill someone who doesn't fight back! Then fine!"

My forehead slammed into his causing his skin to split open. The pressure on my chest let up and I was able to move my hands from where he had them pinned underneath me.

Suddenly, a memory of Jack and Johnny teaching Lizzy and I how to fight flashed through my mind as he held me down. A sharp ache stabbed me in the chest again as I thought of them. The pain of losing them fueled the white-hot anger burning through me and killing the man responsible was the only thing I could think of.

Remembering what they taught me, it only took a single kick to sweep his legs out from under him and I was on top of him again, swinging with all my strength.

"Kill me, you monster!"

"I'm not going to kill you."

His steady voice pushed me even further and a loud crack sounded as my fist connected with his cheek, splitting his skin open again.

"If you don't kill me, I _will _see you dead!" I threatened.

"I can't kill you."

I lifted him by the shirt until his face was in inch from mine.

"Kill me!"

"You are a fiery one, aren't you?"

His chuckle angered me even more and I slammed him into the ground. Without thinking, I moved to his side and hurled his body away from me. My eyes widened as he flew through the first tree, but when he flew through the second and then the third, fear consumed me.

He simply got up, dusted himself off and began walking towards me. Terrified, I backed myself against the closest tree.

"A little work and you're going to be amazing."

"What are you?" My voice cracked as I asked the question again.

"The name's Garrett," he bowed, never taking his eyes off me, "and I am what you are, my dear."

A sinister grin crossed his face as he continued his approach. My fingers dug into the tree behind me and my body stiffened as he stepped directly in front of me.

Leaning in close, he ran his nose up my neck and whispered in my ear, "A vampire."

His lie cured me of my fear and my hands left their grip on the tree and pushed him away.

"Liar!"

He flew about ten feet before rolling on the ground and finding his feet again.

"If you're going to lie to me, at least make it believable. Now tell me before I kill you where you stand," I threatened.

"Bella," he began.

"Isabella," I snapped.

He chuckled again. "Okay, Isabella, if you don't want to believe me, then turn around and look at what you did to that tree."

Reluctant to turn my back on him, I stepped to the side so I could still see him out of the corner of my eye.

The tree had two gaping holes in it where my hands tore away the bark and wood. Slowly, my hands reached out to them and I could feel the grooves my fingers left behind.

"Need more evidence?" he asked. "Look around you, what human can cause this kind of destruction without the aid of tools."

Looking around the small clearing we were in, I took in the four broken trees, cracked rocks and the indentions in the ground where I'd slammed his body into it. My mind recalled the cracks to his skin left by my fists. Impossibly, both were healed with no noticeable mark to show they were even there. Stranger than that, I noticed he was still missing the part of his arm that had broken off and showing no signs of pain.

Fear flooded through me again and I backed away, putting the thickness of the tree between us.

"Vampires aren't real," I said warily. "They don't exist."

"Oh but we do. And you, my dear," he was at my side in a second, grinning at me, "have joined us in this lovely little thing we call eternity."

Surprising myself, I was on the other side of the clearing before his sentence was finished.

I remembered the stories our fathers used to tell Edward and I when we were children. I remembered the books they would read to us to prove their stories true. I also remembered what made someone a vampire and the way they had to live.

My mind ran down the list of vampire traits and one glaring contradiction was staring me in the face.

"If you're really a vampire, how are you standing here in the middle of the day?"

His laugh echoed through the trees. He was next to me again before I saw him move, his finger running the length of my jaw. I shuddered at the contact.

The only person allowed to touch me that way was Edward and I wouldn't let this man think he could be so cavalier in his actions. Using one of Jack's moves, I grabbed his wrist and pulled while kicking his leg hard enough to get him on the ground. My hand circled his neck and my knee in his stomach kept him still.

"Touch me again and I'll kill you."

I didn't expect his smile. "Now, would you have been able to do that if you were still human?"

Another hiss left my throat. "Answer my question!" I growled.

"Who better to create a myth than the vampires who need to stay hidden? Tell me what you know of us, Isabella, and I will prove every one of your theories wrong."

"You're telling me that vampires burning in the sun is a myth?"

"You're not a pile of ash yet, are you?" I growled at him. He laughed. "The sun doesn't hurt us, Isabella. It does, however, have other effects that I will show you soon."

"Show me now." I tightened my grip. "Or haven't you come up with a suitable way to prove your lie."

"In due time." His eyes narrowed slightly.

The world spun and I was on my back again with my arms pressed into the ground over my head.

"You want more proof, Isabella." He hovered over me with a grin. "Just breathe."

Confused by his words, I stopped struggling but he spoke before I could ask what he meant.

"You haven't taken a single breath since you woke up, Isabella." His eyes burned into mine. "Want your proof… just breathe."

It was a strange sensation. Something so natural, so automatic before seemed foreign to me and I nearly choked on the air filling my lungs.

And then I smelled it.

The sweetest scent I'd ever come across in my life.

My throat caught fire and heat flooded my body as a ferocity so intense filled me that I struggled against Garrett with everything I had. My need to find the source of that scent was so powerful it took over my entire body.

A growl rumbled in my chest, echoing through the clearing as I launched Garrett into another tree. I was on my feet in an instant, running toward that scent. Trees flew past me as my legs carried me faster than humanly possible, but it still wasn't fast enough. The need to reach that delicious scent nearly drove me mad.

Minutes of running and the scent grew stronger. I knew I was close. So close that my mouth started to water. Whatever it was, I wanted it... badly – as if I would die without it. Another minute and the scent was so strong, my hand touched my throat, hoping to douse the flames caused by that maddening scent.

Only seconds passed when my feet suddenly stopped. I was standing at the edge of a small patch of open ground when I saw him - a man lying on top of a fallen tree. My mind flashed back to the pictures in my old history books of people laid out to be sacrificed. Still as he was, it was what he reminded me of.

Suddenly, his body moved and that scent assaulted my senses once more. It was coming from him but as delicious as it smelled, my feet were rooted to the ground. I couldn't move closer.

"Mouthwatering isn't it, Isabella," Garrett's voice whispered seductively in my ear.

Completely consumed with finding the source, I hadn't realized that he had followed me. I rounded on him quickly and drove him to the ground, growling at him.

"I know that fire in your throat. Take him, Isabella," he said, reaching a hand up to run one finger down the length of my neck, "right here."

His finger tapped the side of my neck, showing me the perfect spot.

A groan sounded in my ears a fraction of a second before that luscious scent filled my nose again and I breathed it in as deeply as I could. My head snapped towards the man on the tree who was now in a sitting position with his head in his hands.

My grip on Garrett loosened and he was on his feet, pulling me up with him. "Move in slowly," he whispered.

I felt a touch to my waist as his hand cupped my cheek, his eyes locked with mine.

"Place your hand here and slide your thumb under his chin to turn his head." He turned my head just as he described.

His lips touched my neck. "Drink from here until there's nothing left and then…"

His words and actions brought back more memories and I pictured myself back in the alley again.

His tongue swept over my skin. "…close the wound."

This is what he intended to do to me. He was going to kill me but he didn't. He killed my family instead. My hands slammed into his chest, knocking him back about twenty feet.

"You were going to kill me!"

In a flash, my hands were on him again and I threw him in the other direction. He flew into one of the bigger trees in the clearing, cracking, but not breaking it. Rage took over as his body fell to the ground and I was on top of him, swinging at him again and again. I wanted him to feel as much pain as I could inflict upon him.

A stirring of leaves caught my attention and I was hit with the scent again. My head turned automatically toward the man but he was gone. His heartbeat quickened, his breaths became heavier, and his screams pierced the air as he ran.

I left Garrett on the ground to run after the man. He speed was nothing to overcome and I was in front him before the next beat of his heart. My hands gripped his shirt, halting his movement and I pinned him to the tree next to me.

The man's heart beat impossibly faster. Focusing on the pulsing vein in his neck, my mouth watered again. I wanted it and I was going to take it.

"P-please, don't hurt me." The man's voice trembled as he begged.

Garrett's footsteps came closer. My head turned and I hissed. He leaned against the tree with a chuckle.

"Please don't. Please let me go," he continued to beg. "My family will be lost."

My attention returned to the man in front of me.

"Family," I growled at him and pushed him harder into the tree. "No one cared about _my_ family."

His eyes widened just before I sunk my teeth into his throat. A loud moan escaped me as the warm liquid poured down my throat, smothering the raging fire. Every muscle, every nerve felt electrified as each drop saturated my body, causing me to drink deeper than before. Within seconds, I pulled in the final drops – there was nothing left. Sealing the wound as Garrett instructed, I dropped the man's body to the ground.

I felt a trail of blood on my chin and reached up to wipe it away as I took a deep breath, hoping to find more of that heavenly aroma in the air. A soft growl left my chest as I came up with nothing.

"Still thirsty?"

Garrett's voice brought my mind back to the clearing. I'd almost forgotten he was there.

"No."

My answer gave away the anger I still had for him, but I was willing to let him live for now. After all, he was the one who offered me such a gift.

"He lied, you know," he said casually.

My head whipped in his direction and I took in his relaxed stance, noticing he was holding his severed arm to the piece it broke away from. Confused again, I shook my head to clear it enough to speak.

"What?"

He shrugged. "He wanted you to let him go so he lied." Pushing away from the tree, he walked toward me. "He had no family. He was living on the streets just as you were."

"What?" I couldn't believe his words.

"He had no family. He had no morals. He had no decency." Garrett pushed the man with his foot, his voice full of disgust. "He was a monster in the truest sense of the word."

I huffed. "You're one to talk."

"I am nothing like him." He rounded on me and for the first time, there was anger in his voice. "This piece of trash killed a man and attacked his wife before I could stop him. There are few things worse than that."

I didn't need to voice my disbelief. It was written all over my face.

"Don't you dare question my morals or my integrity, Isabella. I will never feed from the innocent, not when there is scum like this," he kicked the body again, "littering the streets."

"No innocents…ever," I sneered at him. "I can give you four names if you wish to amend your little declaration."

"That was never meant to happen," he growled at me. "You want honesty. I only ever meant to take you, Isabella. I would have escaped with you but you refused to move any further. You were bleeding and I couldn't resist any longer."

He took a few steps away from me and the tone of his voice changed. There was a hint of regret seeping into it.

"I never meant to leave you alive, Isabella. We weren't far enough and they found us before I had a chance to finish. I sealed your wound out of habit when they attacked me. And before the fight was over, your change was already set in motion. The only choice I had was to take you away."

"You expect me to believe you when you're lying to me right now." His brow furrowed. "You say you never kill innocents, that killing my family was a mistake. But what about me?" I asked. "You said you never intended to let me live. So what did I do? Why was I not innocent in your eyes?"

Garrett was silent but after some time, his eyes connected with mine and he continued.

"You _were _innocent, but you were also special." He leaned against another tree, never taking his eyes off me. "I was on a hunting trip as I said, but the second I came within a few miles of you, you were the only thing I could think about, even before I laid eyes on you. Your blood called to me, Isabella. It was the sweetest scent I'd ever had the pleasure of breathing in. The only problem was it drove me nearly insane. I wanted it. I needed it. I refused to leave the city without it."

I didn't know what to say. He had planned everything. He had found me in the diner and plotted to get me alone so he could drink my blood and kill me.

"Once I found you, I followed you," he continued. "I fought a war within myself to leave you alone because you were not the type of person I hunted. But I tempted fate when I went into the diner that first day. I wanted to see how close I could get to you. You were afraid but I don't believe you knew why. That night, I followed you home or to whatever building you and your friends took cover in."

He paused after hearing me gasp. He was that close to us and he never touched us or tried to kill us then when he could have done it so easily.

"The second day," he said, returning my mind to his confession, "you actually talked to me and you showed genuine concern for me. I tried to tell you that nothing happening in the streets could hurt me but you were concerned anyway. It was then that I saw your heart and I fought harder against myself not to take you."

His expression turned dark as he hesitated. I stayed silent, not knowing what to say, simply waiting for him to finish.

"The night of the fire, I was still following you but I had made the decision to walk away. I just had to see you one more time, breathe you in one more time before I left. I had fed on one of the others in the streets before I came to you, knowing I would need my strength to walk away, but it was all for nothing. When I arrived, the building was burning and the sweetness of your blood was so much stronger than before. It was freshly spilt and I became crazed with thirst. I pulled you out and convinced you to come with me. I wanted to take you away. I wanted to bring you here," his arms opened, indicating the open space we were standing in, "so I could take my time and savor every drop." He took a deep breath.

I had stopped breathing altogether at this point. I couldn't comprehend how he could stand in front of me and confess so easily to his desires and plans to kill me.

"But you wouldn't move your legs any further and the scent of your blood overwhelmed me. If your family hadn't attacked me, I would have left your body in that alley to be discovered later. But they disrupted my plans. I didn't want to kill them but they would have exposed me and I couldn't have that. It is against our laws and I would have been killed if they knew."

His confession had me at a loss for words as I watched the agonized expression cross his face.

"I'm sorry. I know how hard that must be for you to hear, but it is the truth. Without meaning to, I ruined your life and thrust you into a new existence that you knew nothing about."

He offered me his hands and without thinking, I took them.

"Walk with me in this life, Isabella, and let me teach you how to live again."

Shocked, I didn't know how to answer that. I'd already tried to kill him three times since opening my eyes, what made him think I would trust him. Then, as if he could read my thoughts, he continued.

"Look past the anger you feel for me and allow me to help you, to teach you our ways and our secrets. A transition to this life is not easy and I would not forgive myself for bringing you into this and letting you do anything that could take you from me. I will protect you with my life, Isabella, if only you follow me."

I dropped his hands and turned to walk away. My mind was at war with itself. On one side, I wanted Garrett dead. He wanted to kill me but killed my family instead. It may not have been his intention, but my family's lives were lost because of him.

On the other side, I was afraid to walk into this life alone. Everything I was told about vampires was a lie. How could I live this life if I had no clue what to expect? He knew things I didn't and he could teach me to survive, just like Johnny, Lizzy and Jack did when they took me in. Maybe, after I knew what I needed to make it in this life, maybe then I could kill him. Payment for my family.

With that thought in mind, I called over my shoulder, "Call me Bella."

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

When time meant nothing, it passed in the blink of an eye. My first year as a vampire had definitely been an interesting one. The fighting between us hadn't fully subsided and he had to fight me off as I'd made few more attempts on his life.

Despite the hatred I carried for him, Garrett was an exceptional companion. He taught me everything I needed to know to survive in this world. He taught me to live in the shadows to keep our secrets, to find the evil that roamed the streets to feed from when I was thirsty and most importantly, he took my anger and taught me to fight.

When he was human, Garrett had been a soldier and an excellent fighter. He taught me every maneuver he knew so I could stand my ground and fight when another of our kind presented a danger to us. Not that it was a frequent occurrence, but I'd had to kill several times in the past year to keep from being discovered.

He had explained the laws to me and what would happen should the Italian vampires, the punishers, suspect any laws had been broken. Our travels to the South tested those laws and my fighting skills were put to the test when vampires in that region threatened to expose us. The carnage there was immense and after my seventh kill, Garrett saw no end to the fighting. Worried about the Italians, he moved us north again.

It was the height of the summer and we'd settled in the Rocky Mountains about two hundred miles from the nearest mining town. According to Garrett, these were the best places to hunt as the men in these towns were as immoral as they come and we could feed for months without anyone growing suspicious. That was unless I did something careless to give us away.

We'd had to move along on more than one occasion due to my lack of control when it came time to feed. When I was thirsty, I wanted to find someone immediately, not caring about the time of day. Garrett had to hold me back several times to wait for nightfall when the sun was daring me to take the chance. It was the main cause of many of our fights, including the most recent one that had me brooding in the trees while he sat near the mouth of the abandoned mine we called home, reading a book he had picked from his last kill.

We'd been bickering back and forth from our respective positions for the past few hours; me wanting to hunt and him threatening to kill me himself if I tried. We had been quiet a little too long and I was itching to rile him up again but before I could make my next comment, I heard rustling through the leaves and debris on the ground.

Alerted to the new presence, I sat up and prayed that some idiotic human got lost in our woods, making him or her free game. Garrett couldn't stop me and there was no way he could object if someone wandered into my space because there would be no one around to see me take their life. I was already making a plan for my next kill when the scent of another vampire hit me.

It wasn't a human after all but that didn't mean I was ready to let my guard down. We hadn't seen another vampire since I killed the last one in Texas. I had been threatened with death by the vampire's mate when Garrett made us run and, because vampires don't forgive that offense, I'd been waiting for her to find us ever since. The scent didn't smell like hers but then again, hers was mixed with the others that were around her and I never caught a decent scent.

Perched in my tree, I waited for the vampire to get closer. I planned my attack from above, knowing I had the advantage of higher ground. I heard Garrett move quickly below me. He sensed it too and I was sure he'd be ready for this intruder when he or she showed their face. Silently, I leapt down to a lower branch waiting to strike. The sound was getting closer and I was ready, my eyes focused in the direction of the sound.

In the distance, I saw a man running toward us at full speed. He was fast and I knew I had to be exact in my strike or I could miss my target completely. As he got closer, I saw his features clearly for the first time. His blond hair shined nearly as brightly as his skin would as he passed through patches of light. He was handsome and his clothes were those you would see in the city, not anything like Garrett or I, or any other nomads we'd run across. This man didn't belong out here in the woods and I wondered what he was doing so far from the city alone.

Garrett hadn't stepped out fully yet, still lying in wait for the stranger. Quietly again, I shifted my position to a crouch as he neared the mine. Five yards away now and I couldn't let him get any closer. I jumped from my perch and landed on the vampire's back with a force that drove him to the ground. I had the upper hand as he struggled to break free, but I had his arms and legs pinned in a position that wouldn't allow him to move.

"Let me go. I mean you no harm," he said calmly as he stopped trying to fight.

His words meant nothing and I was about to take his head and rip it from his body when Garrett's laugh stopped me.

"Looks like you've been bested, old friend."

Curious, I looked to Garrett for answers. He was leaning casually against the closest tree, watching the scene.

With a smirk and a wave of his hand, he spoke, "Let him go. He truly means no harm. He is a friend."

When he saw that I had no intention of letting this intruder go free. He gave in with another wave of his hand.

"Why don't you go hunt while I speak with my friend."

As soon as he spoke the word, the flames in my throat reignited. I was parched and since this was what I had wanted to do hours ago, I released the man and ran into the woods. Behind me, I could hear Garrett apologizing for my behavior and the man simply laughed.

"Your mate is protective, Garrett. Truly a perfect match for you."

"Sadly, she is not my mate, simply a companion." Garrett's laughter echoed through the trees. "I'll explain later. What brings you into the mountains, Carlisle? I was sure I wouldn't see you again until I ventured to a city farther north."

"I've created a companion of my own since we last saw each other. There was an incident that I cannot explain and I'm searching..."

The sentence trailed off as I moved out of range. I ran hard and fast toward town, knowing the relief for my thirst was close by. In no time, I found myself at the edge of the tree line, taking in deep breaths of the sweet scent that would soon satisfy the burn. Pacing back and forth like an animal on the prowl, I waited to be released from the sun's cage so I could find my next meal.

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><p><strong>Bella is definitely not the same sweet girl she used to be. Vicious is the one word I ca<strong>**n think of. She attacks first and thinks second…if she thinks at all. Poor Garrett has to keep a good eye on her to make sure she doesn't do anything stupid. And damn, she was so close to him. If Carlisle had gotten a look at her face when he showed up, there would have been no way to keep Edward away. Unfortunately, he didn't and she got away without a backward glance.**

**As always, thank you so much to every new reader that's hit the alert and favorite button for this story. It means a lot to me that you're reading this little story. For all of you who've been with me all along, thanks again for giving this story the love you do. Big hugs to everyone. You are all the best. Until next time…much love to you all – D**


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story. **

**Many thanks to my amazing team. I couldn't do this without you: ellachanted, Kate22689 and AgoodWITCH Love ya tons, ladies.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 19<strong>

**EPOV**

The afternoon Esme woke up and Carlisle explained what he'd done and what she was, she was so accepting. She had a few questions, as expected, but as long as she could be with him she really didn't care. He was everything to her.

When we took her out for her first hunt, she had only wanted to watch Carlisle as he took down a few deer. Her thoughts as she watched him would have made me blush if I were still able. Quickly, though, we were able to focus her thoughts and energy on the hunt, and once the first drops of blood flowed into her, she was ready to take down every creature in the woods.

As sweet and loving as she was, Esme was dangerous when her bloodlust took over. A few months after her change, she had killed a few hunters in Ashland when she was out on a hunt with Carlisle. Immediately, we packed up and moved to a town in Northern Michigan. We were there for about six months before her thirst forced us to move again to small town in eastern Ohio.

With her first year behind her, she had gained some control over her thirst and we were able to remain in Ohio for a nearly three years. It was during those three years that I saw what a truly amazing woman Esme really was.

When she was no longer saddened by her lack of control or worried about attacking an unsuspecting human, I was able to see how right Carlisle had been when he first described Esme to me. Her very presence brought life to our world. She was, as Carlisle had said, so full of life – vivacious, spirited and energetic. Now that she was able to really live it, she was excited for this new life or, as she called it, her second chance. But there was more to it than that.

From the time she was sixteen, she'd spent her life comparing every man she'd ever met to Carlisle. None, not even her husband, could compare. Now, she was overjoyed to finally be able to spend her days with the one man who'd occupied her every dream for ten years. And it wasn't just her.

In the six years we'd been together, I'd never seen Carlisle so happy. Finally finding love had changed him completely and he was a whole new man. He actually reminded me of myself years ago when I was with Bella. She simply brought out the best in me and it was exactly what Esme did for Carlisle.

They could barely contain their love for each other so, after years of posing as husband and wife, they made the decision to make their relationship official. As they readied themselves to take this step together, Esme pulled me aside to have a quick word.

"My dear Edward, for years you've played the role of brother to us and I have been proud to accept you in that role, but I want something more." She gripped my hand tightly as she spoke.

"Esme, you've brought so much happiness to Carlisle's life and I am grateful to you for making him the man he is today. So please, ask for anything you wish."

"We're a family, Edward, and I have witnessed firsthand the bond you have with Carlisle." She smiled sweetly. "You would make me the happiest woman in this world if, on the day I take him as my husband, you would do me the honor of becoming my son as well."

Throughout the years, I had seen the dreams she'd had for a family and she already thought of us as one. If I were being honest, I had seen us as a family for a while now. Before she joined us, there was always something missing. I had a father but no mother and Carlisle had a son but no wife. Esme's presence in our lives filled those missing pieces and made our family complete. I loved her and respected her immensely. There was no way I could deny her this wish.

With a smile that matched hers, I answered, "Nothing would make me happier…Mother."

Esme threw her arms around my neck, squeezing me so tight that I, for once, was glad that I didn't have to breathe.

_That sounds wonderful. Thank you, Son._

She couldn't speak the words aloud because, in public, I was Carlisle's brother. That had never changed and if someone were to overhear our conversation, it would raise suspicion. Tilting my head a little, I whispered in her ear, "No. Thank you."

I wasn't prepared for the feelings her simple acknowledgement would cause me to have, but I was proud and extremely happy to hear her call me her son. But there was a sense of sadness as well as images of my real mother passed through my mind.

It had been years since my parents passed and when I allowed myself to think of them, an overwhelming sadness would take over, threatening to crush me. I missed them terribly but the love and support I'd received from Carlisle, and now Esme, over the years had helped to lessen that ache, making it possible to remember them without giving in to the sorrow.

A throat clearing behind me caught our attention and we released each other with a smile before turning our heads toward the door.

"It's time," the pastor's wife informed us.

We nodded and the woman backed out, letting the door close behind her.

Esme brought her hands back to mine and tightened her grip. "I've dreamed of this moment for so long, but now that it's here, I'm a little afraid," she said quietly. "What if Charles was right? What if I am horrible wife? What if I can't make Carlisle happy?"

_How could she think…? I will rip that man to shreds one day for ever mistreating her._

The threat and the growl coming from the other side of the small chapel told me Carlisle heard Esme's fears. She would never know, of course, because my own growl drowned out his as she spoke of her former husband.

While she lived with him, Charles Evenson was an abusive man. Before she knew of my ability, Esme thought of her old life often, comparing her life with Carlisle to the way things used to be. There were still times she doubted herself but they'd become less frequent as the years passed.

"Please don't worry. Life is as it should be now," I assured her.

She looked to me with glistening eyes. Cradling her face in my hands, I placed a small kiss on her forehead.

"Esme, he may not have realized it at the time, but Carlisle has loved you since the moment he met you. He had thought of you over the years and when he found you again, his only thought was that he couldn't lose you a second time."

Her smile returned with my words. Reaching down, I grasped her hands in mine and continued.

"You're here with us today because losing you would have meant losing his truest love – the other half of his heart and his soul. And trust me when I say that that is a pain _no one_ should have to bear."

A pang of jealousy squeezed my heart but I pushed the feeling aside. This was about Carlisle and Esme.

"Forever is a very long time for us and the two of you are meant to spend it together." I leaned in to kiss her cheek. "Now, there is a very anxious man out there waiting for the love of his life to make him complete."

Esme beamed at me, her smile more brilliant than a thousand stars in the sky.

I turned and offered her my arm. "Let us go and make him happy, shall we?"

Her glove-covered hand slipped into place with a gentle squeeze.

"I love you, Edward," she said, her voice a whisper only I could hear. "My one and only son."

Her words filled me with love as I walked her down the aisle of the chapel to Carlisle's waiting arms.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Following the wedding, I had spent two days away from home while Carlisle and Esme succumbed to their desperate need for each other after years of resisting. Hours after my return, they had left to spend several months in Europe on their honeymoon.

I was thankfully left behind to finish my final year in school. The happy couple returned in time for my graduation and shortly after the ceremony, we closed up the house and moved on to New Hampshire…and Dartmouth.

We settled into our new lives fairly easy. Carlisle took a position at the hospital and his wife – my new sister – took care of our home. I spent my days in classes and various labs while pursuing a medical degree. Initially, it was a move to make Carlisle proud but I had enjoyed myself immensely so I continued, hoping to following in his footsteps.

We lived quietly for the first two years, spending time together as a normal family would. Esme wanted to be seen as normal members of the community, so the three of us would take walks in the park or sit down for picnics if the weather allowed it. Either Carlisle or I would accompany her on her shopping trips to purchase items for our home. She would even go as far as pretending to take lunch to Carlisle at the hospital or meeting me on campus for a meal between classes.

Evenings, however, were a different story. From the time they returned from their honeymoon, Carlisle and Esme found it difficult to keep their hands to themselves and I had spent many nights far from home to keep from hearing both their thoughts and their noises. They would apologize, of course, when I came home in the mornings to dress for class, but it didn't make up for the fact that I had barely lived in my own home.

I loved my parents and I was happy they were so in love with each other, but I was also beginning to resent them a little. They were lucky enough to find their soul mate and spend every day together. I wanted that too but, for me, it was impossible. I was alone and I always would be because the love of my life couldn't be with me.

Bella held a constant place in my thoughts over the years. I prayed she was well, constantly wondering if she was married yet and if she was, wondering how many children she had. We had always spoken of having two and I was always curious if she'd kept to that idea. Every time I pictured them, I always saw two little girls as beautiful as their mother. It broke my heart to think about it, but my love deserved to be happy and have all her dreams come true.

Day after day, month after month, thinking of Bella while watching Carlisle and Esme was becoming too much. I was glad that I was the only one who could read minds because mine wasn't a great place to be lately.

Esme had noticed the change in my mood but when she tried to talk to me about it, I simply smiled, kissed her on the cheek and lied; telling her I was under stress at school but everything would be fine in a few weeks when the year came to an end.

I hated having to lie to her but what else could I have said. I couldn't tell her that I was miserable and unhappy because my parents were still acting like newlyweds years after their marriage. I couldn't tell her that every time I witnessed even the most innocent of touches between them my heart broke all over again because I missed Bella so much.

I knew she would understand if I were ever to tell her of the thoughts running through my head, or the way seeing them together hurt me so much that I couldn't stand to be around them another minute. But I also knew my mother, and a confession like that would cause her to feel tremendous guilt and I couldn't let that happen. She wasn't at fault and I refused to let her bear the burden of my broken heart.

My only choice was to keep it hidden. They could never know.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

School was finally over for another year and I was thrust into my own personal hell when I found myself at home with Carlisle and Esme on one of his days off.

"Oh Carlisle."

The words found me just before their sounds sent me flying off my bed with the desperate need to escape.

"Going hunting," I mumbled, knowing they would hear me before running out the back door.

I ran for hours before I could bring myself to stop, collapsing at the edge of a field, finally allowing the grief to take hold. I laid there for days, watching the sun and moon trade places in the sky while each memory of Bella broke another piece of my heart away.

Living in the constant presence of Carlisle and Esme's love these past seven years had brought me to a dark place and I needed to find a way out. These days alone had shown me that distance was the only way to heal my heart. I had to leave, to walk away from the two people who had loved me like a son for nearly a decade and make my own way in the world.

It was the only way I would survive.

Ten sunsets had passed me by before I finally moved to stand. My feet moved sluggishly toward home, dreading the conversation that awaited me there. I knew the solution I had chosen only traded one heartache for another, but willfully giving up my father and my mother was the only way to save my sanity.

The walk back home took two days and I could hear Esme's near frantic thoughts as I entered the woods near our home. I ignored them as much as possible so I could hold tight to my resolve. I loved them but I couldn't let them convince me to stay.

"Carlisle." I heard Esme call for him the second I passed through the tree line behind the house.

Two more steps and two hard bodies slammed into me. Losing my balance, I would have been taken to the ground if Carlisle's arms hadn't been supporting me.

"Oh God, my Son, where have you been? Are you alright? Have you been hurt?" Esme cried, touching my face, chest and arms making sure I was unharmed. "We've been so worried. We waited for you but you never came home."

Still in Carlisle's embrace while Esme examined me, I wanted to apologize for leaving the way I did and for making them worry, but any other words than the ones that needed to be spoken would have me reconsidering my choice.

I took a deep breath. "I have to go." I forced the words out.

"What? No." Esme shook her head, tears welling in her eyes. "You've just come home. You can't…"

"Son," Carlisle spoke, "please, let us go inside and talk."

"No, Father." I fought out of their embrace. "There's nothing to discuss. I have to leave."

"What happened, Edward?" He sounded worried now.

"Nothing happened." I backed away from them, moving toward the house. "I just can't live like this anymore…feeding off animals. It's not natural."

Carlisle's eyes widened as he watched me put distance between us. "After everything I've taught you, Edward, you can't mean that."

"And why not? Haven't you ever wondered, Carlisle…what it tastes like?"

His hands were on my shoulders in less than a second, his eyes studying mine. With my words, I knew he would think I had fed from a human and when he realized I hadn't, he shook his head and answered.

"No, Son, I haven't. You know what I believe. I could never…"

"Don't you ever get tired of fighting who you are?" I pushed his hands from my shoulders, hating myself more with every word. "Fighting the desire to taste the sweetness that only comes with human blood. There is no animal on this earth that could ever smell as sweet as the human I encountered while I was away."

"Yet you resisted."

His expression nearly broke me, but I needed to keep going. It was the only way.

"Only because I would have had to face you." My words were filled with anger and it was killing me to hurt him this way. "I'm tired of fighting it, Carlisle. Now that I've smelled something so sweet, I will not have you dictating what or who I feed from."

"I only tried to teach you what is right, Son. To respect life. To live without killing."

"You wanted me to be like you," I shouted over his words. "Well I'm not and I can't be…not anymore."

From behind Carlisle, Esme's sobs threatened to crush me, but I ignored her.

"I want more and I'm going to take it," I growled at him.

"No, Edward. Just come inside," he begged as he reached out for me, "we can talk about…"

"There's nothing left to talk about. I refuse to live my life under such restraints any longer." I pushed his hand away. "I'm leaving and you can't stop me."

I turned and forced my legs to carry me to my room to pack the few things I was taking with me. Esme's thoughts were almost incoherent as she begged Carlisle to make me stay. He tried to calm her while his own thoughts warred inside his head.

He also begged me to reconsider, to sit with him and talk this over. But there was also a resignation in his tone. Carlisle always believed a person was given free will to make their own choices in life and as much as I hated to do it, I was playing on that belief. He would never force me to stay if I truly wanted to leave.

Looking one more time around my room, I steeled myself to say goodbye to my family.

Esme ran to me again as I reached the bottom of the stairs. "Please," she choked, "I cannot bear to lose another son."

Her words were like a knife to my heart and the tears trapped in her eyes twisted it. Carlisle was there to pull her away from me, holding her back against his chest while linking their hands so she couldn't reach out for me again.

I kissed her forehead. "I love you, Mother. I will find you again," I promised.

_Please stay, Edward. _Carlisle asked me one final time. I answered with a shake of my head.

"I will write to you, Son." Resignation and sorrow filled his tone. "Every year, on your birthday, travel to your childhood home. There will be a letter waiting there for you."

Weakness took over as I pulled them both to me, embracing them as tightly as I could.

"I love you both so much. I promise you, we will see each other again." Turning my head, my next words were for Carlisle only. "Thank you for my life."

Letting them go, I hurried to the door and pulled it open. With one last look back I said goodbye to my parents and closed the door behind me.

* * *

><p><strong>Poor Edward. He thought he was dealing with the pain of losing Bella, but now Carlisle and Esme's happiness together has driven him over the edge. He's going to have to make it on his own now. I hope he'll be all right.<strong>

**Also, here are a few of quick recs for some amazing stories. Check them out. **

**From These Ashes by shelikesthesound ****http:/ / www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/7866500/1/**

**No Measure of Time by cosmogirl7481 ****http:/ / www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/7876593/1/**

**Pacifically You by RobstenCuteness ****http:/ / www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/7883871/1/**

**As always, thank you so much to every new reader that's hit the alert and favorite button for this story. It means a lot to me that you're reading this little story. For all of you who've been with me all along, thanks again for giving this story the love you do. Big hugs to everyone. You are all the best. Until next time…much love to you all – D**


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story.**

**Many thanks to my amazing team. I couldn't do this without you: ellachanted, Kate22689 and AgoodWITCH Love ya tons, ladies.**

**A/N: I just have to say, thank you so much to everyone that leaves reviews. You have made this my first story ever to reach 500. You are all the best and I love you so much.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 20<strong>

**BPOV**

"You cannot be serious." I looked at Garrett with wide eyes.

"In all these years, Bella," he said with a smirk, "have I ever once lied to you?"

"That's irrelevant," I answered.

"You already know that breathing is unnecessary. Do you doubt your strength?" he challenged.

"Of course not." I turned back to the water shimmering in the moonlight. "But people don't just swim to another country."

"We're not normal people, Bella."

My glaring eyes turned to him. I didn't need the reminder.

"It's 1927, Garrett, they have ships that carry people across the ocean."

He gave me that knowing smile that always made me want to rip his head off, but I contained myself enough to hear his answer.

"Do you really want to confine yourself to a ship with that many people, knowing you can't touch a single one?"

A ship full of people…just the two of us. It sounded like heaven. I would make him take me.

I lowered my voice. "I could be careful."

I walked behind him with a hand lightly caressing his arm, making sure he didn't turn.

"Liar."

I gently touched his shoulder with my other hand.

"Dump the bodies in the ocean when I'm done."

Just thinking of the possibilities was making my mouth water.

"Someone would notice." His voice trembled slightly.

"I'll share them with you." I moved in close, speaking softer. "Just think of it, your mouth and mine on the same body at the same time," I whispered seductively, hoping he would give in.

He stepped away from me in a flash. "No ships, Bella," he said, his voice still shaking. "It's not safe."

I laughed. "You're no fun."

He rolled his eyes and stepped up to grab my hand, pulling me toward the water.

"Let's just go. We'll be there before you know it."

I took two steps before pulling him to a stop.

"Why Europe?" I pouted.

"We've already traveled _this_ country."

He stepped close enough to slide his hands around my waist. His lips touched my neck, gliding along my skin to my ear.

"Come on, Sweetheart, let's go conquer another," he said, using his own enticing voice.

With a smile, I ran a hand up his arm, placing the other on his chest and pushing him away as far as his arms would allow.

"I like the sound of that," I said just before I balled my fist and punched straight through one of his arms.

His pained scream rang in my ears. I slammed the severed piece of his arm into his chest and put a bit of distance between us before he could take a swing at me. It was our way. He would tease…I would tease or the other way around until one of us got hurt.

"You've been warned. _No one_," I emphasized the words, "touches me that way. Next time, you'll lose more than your arm."

"Always such fire." He laughed as he held the detached piece of his arm together where I'd broken it, fusing it back together. "Let's unleash a little of that fire elsewhere, shall we?"

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Eighteen months after we walked onto the beaches of Norway, Garrett and I had traveled to nearly every country in Europe. We passed through so many beautiful cities and Garrett took me to see as many historical sites and monuments as I wanted. We'd lived in some of the ruins that were nestled in the countryside just miles outside of modern cities. He had even taken me into some of the underground tunnels that I had only read about in my history books. Every place we visited was amazing as he showed me things I'd never thought I would see in my life.

As beautiful as it all was, though, it was hard to appreciate. With every new city, with every new experience I thought of Edward.

He and I had talked of traveling after we were married and he was settled in his career, but none of those discussions ever included a single country overseas. At the time, that was well beyond our reach since our plans to start a family were more important.

My hand pressed into the flesh above my heart as the pain in my chest nearly knocked me out of the tree I was perched in, waiting for sunset. Edward had been gone for more than ten years now and the pain losing him was still very present in my mind and my heart. I was better at dealing with it now and could push the pain completely away on most days. But days like today, as I remembered some of the plans we had made together, it was so much harder to think of him.

Years ago, I had come to terms with fact that I would never see him again. My Edward was in heaven and I could never join him. I was forced to walk this earth alone for all eternity because Garrett didn't kill me when he had the chance. I was forever denied the escape I had once longed for after Edward died. Now all I would ever have of him was the picture he left me with as a birthday gift and his mother's ring that would never leave my finger again.

"Are you going to sit up there all day and leave me to enjoy the French cuisine all alone?"

Garrett's voice tore me from my thoughts of Edward, which was probably best for the both of us. On those days when Edward dominated my mind, the fights between Garrett and I were the worst and usually ended with both of us losing a limb or two. Figuring out the signs fairly quickly, he had learned to steer clear of me on those days and I was determined not to make this one of them.

We'd arrived in Marseilles three weeks ago and I loved the city. It was beautiful; modern enough to live freely but still old enough to hide when we needed to. Today had been one of those days to hide.

The sun had been out all day and there was a celebration going on in the streets. There was no way we could be near the city during the day, so we were biding our time in the trees about ten miles away. Once the sun went down, we would be on the hunt.

We had only fed once since coming into the city and celebrations like this one usually brought the lowest form of human out in droves. Tonight was going to be a good night for us. We would get our fill and move on since there was still so much more to see.

Swinging out of the tree, I landed a few feet in front of him just as the last rays of the sun were lost beyond the horizon. I brushed the leaves from my clothes and ran my fingers through my hair several times to make myself presentable. Garrett rolled his eyes.

"You're beautiful," he said. "No man will resist you tonight."

I stepped up to straighten the collar of his shirt. "And I can't wait to see them as they _try_ to resist you."

His laughter echoed through the trees but he sobered up quickly as I wrapped the hair hanging down his back around my hand. With a little force, I pulled his head slightly to the side and brought my lips to his ear.

"Let's go," I whispered. "Dinner is served."

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

We had only been in the square a little over an hour before our prey presented himself. We watched from a distance as he led a woman away from the crowd and followed him as he turned a corner, out of sight.

Turning my head, my eyes settled on Garrett's. "Get her out of the way."

He nodded and we moved as inconspicuously as we could before we heard the first scream. I looked around as Garrett disappeared in a flash, making sure no one noticed. The crowd was oblivious to our movements, so I sped up and made my way around the corner.

I could see Garrett's hand around the man's throat while he held the girl against his chest. She was crying and clutching her torn dress with one hand while the other had a tight grip on Garrett's shirt. My eyes turned to focus on the man against the wall.

"Now is that any way to treat a lady?"

The accent was thick and his English wasn't perfect but he spoke it well enough to stammer through some excuse, lies that I refused to listen to. I heard movement behind me and Garrett whispered, "Don't start without me."

Now that I was alone with the man, I smiled the sweetest smile I could manage. He visibly relaxed and returned my smile, probably thinking that I wanted him for myself. He wasn't wrong in his assumption. He smelled delicious.

"Alone at last," I purred.

Moving in close enough to press him against the wall, I ran my hands up his arms, over his shoulders and came to a rest in his hair.

"I was watching you," I said quietly. "How could you pick her over me?"

"I – I did…no I…" The man stumbled over his words. I didn't give him a chance to continue.

"That girl didn't want you."

I tilted his head, touching my lips to the base of his neck.

"Not the way I do," I whispered as I glided my lips up to his ear.

I heard Garrett turn the corner. He was just in time.

"Can I have you the way I want you?" My tongue touched the soft flesh of his ear.

I could hear his blood racing through his veins as his heart beat faster.

"You can have it all," he said breathlessly.

A moan of anticipation slipped out and he shuddered again as my lips slid back to his neck. One hand left his hair, caressed his cheek and covered his mouth to stifle the scream as my teeth sliced through his skin. I bit down hard as the sweet liquid poured into my mouth, quenching my thirst. After several long pulls of his delicious blood, I offered him to Garrett to finish him off.

Once he finished, he hid the body around another corner for someone to find later. His red eyes shined as he made his way back to me. Taking his offered hand, Garrett pulled me in close, slipping his other hand around my waist and holding me as if we were dancing.

With a devilish smile on his face, he whispered, "Are you ready for more, my dark angel?"

Just as I was about to answer, his eyes widened and his hand flew to my mouth. My normal reaction would have been to struggle against his hand but the worried look on his face stilled me. He took a deep breath, tasting the air but when I tried to do the same, all I could smell was the scent of his skin.

His arms wrapped tightly around me. "Leave now." His whispered warning was just for me.

I tried to pull away but he gripped me tighter.

"Use the rooftops and run for the trees."

Sensing his sudden fear, I held onto him just as tight. "What is it?"

He loosed his grip and took one step back. One hand touched my cheek and his eyes bore intently into mine.

"Please, Bella, just go," he urged. "Now."

"But what about…"

He cut me off, knowing what I was about to ask. "I'll join you soon. I swear it. But you must go now." His eyes glanced over my shoulder toward the main street before meeting mine again. "You have only seconds, please go."

Fearing his safety, I placed a quick kiss on his lips before I ran around the corner furthest from the main street. I didn't want to leave him behind. We were two strong fighters and we could have stood together against whatever it was that frightened him, but the fact that he _was _frightened of this unknown threat terrified me.

"Greetings, Friend. Out for a bite to eat?"

The stranger's voice sounded in my ears just as I reached the rooftop of the building we were standing next to.

"Yes, I was. This city offers quite the array of tastes to choose from."

Garrett's voice was controlled, a little formal and not at all like him. Something was wrong and I was losing the battle within myself to do as he said and run or stay and protect him.

I could hear the stranger inhale loudly. "Such a sweet scent. I must ask, is there more?"

"My apologies, Sir, there is nothing left to share."

"Sir?" he questioned with a menacing laugh. "Please, let us not be so formal. My name is Eleazar. I've traveled from Volterra, Italia to partake in these festivities."

_Volterra?_ My body froze. He was one of _them_.

"My name is Garrett and I've come to do a bit of traveling of my own."

"Traveling alone?" His question was obvious.

"Yes," was Garrett's only response.

"Are you sure? I thought I…"

"Yes," Garrett rudely cut him off, "I am _alone._"

His stress on the final word told me that Garrett knew I was still here. I wanted to go to him, to help keep him safe but he sent me away because he wanted to keep _me_ safe. Even through all our struggles over the past ten years, Garrett's main concern was always to keep me safe and I had never once thanked him for it.

Recalling our first conversation after my change, he had said he would protect me with his life. His words were truer now than they'd ever been as he stood alone, facing one of the punishers so he could protect me from them. A small piece of the anger I had always felt for him was left behind as I forced myself to honor his request and head for the trees.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Another tree met its end at my hands as another day passed without a sign of Garrett. I didn't want to give up hope but after six days alone, the weight of the truth bore down on me. He didn't walk away from his confrontation with the punisher and it was my fault.

I had run away. I left Garrett behind to face him alone. He had told me how vicious they were but I ran anyway. I ran because he asked me to. I should have stayed because he needed me to. I could have helped and now he was dead because of me.

The guilt washing over me caused another tree to meet its end as I screamed. Uprooting another and then another, a quick thought passed through my mind. _How much of this forest will be destroyed before you can control yourself?_

Two more trees fell as I tried to rein in my guilt and self-loathing.

No one near me lived long enough to make it worth getting close to them. Why did I think Garrett would be different? Because he was a vampire? Because he was immortal? That was a joke. Immortality suddenly didn't feel so infinite.

That thought forced my mind in another direction as yet another tree fell to the anger now boiling to the surface. A plan of revenge began to form in my mind as I tore another tree from the ground.

I knew his voice and I knew his scent. I would walk into Volterra, find the stranger, Eleazar, and kill him. Would the punishers kill me too? Most certainly, but not before his head became my trophy.

A loud growl ripped its way from my chest as I threw the tree still in my hands across the quarter-mile expanse of bare forest that I'd cleared in the past six days.

"His head is _mine_," I said absently, putting a voice to my thoughts.

"What did I do this time?"

Spinning at the sound of his voice, my eyes found Garrett lounging high in a tree for a split second before he jumped, landing twenty feet away from me. The crashing sound startled me when my body slammed into his before I realized I'd moved. His arms circled my waist, holding me so tight that it would have split me half if I were human.

My mind caught up to the moment and my arms started swinging, pounding on his chest.

"Where have you been," I yelled. "You made me think…"

He didn't fight me back or make a move to stop me.

"I thought you were dead."

I pounded harder, forcing him to his knees.

"You said you were coming back!" I shouted. His lack of fight angered me even more. "How could you leave me like that?"

One fist connected with his cheekbone, splitting his skin open before he was able to grab my wrists and still may hands. Still struggling against him, he wrapped his arms around my waist again, taking my hands with him. Garrett's forehead pressed into my stomach.

"I had to run. I had to keep him away from you." He lifted his head to look at me. "He had to believe I was alone or he would have continued searching for you."

Stunned by his words, I lost the will to fight with him.

"Why would he look for me?"

He hands slid from my wrists to my hands, holding them as he stood up.

"He could smell you. He knew you were there," he told me. "I've never met him before but once he said his name, I knew who he was and what his purpose is within the guard. They use him to findthose of our kind that could be of use to them. I haven't seen any extraordinary talents in you but I cannot sense them the way he can.

"But you didn't know who he was at first, yet you were already afraid enough to send me away. Why would you do that?" I questioned him.

"It was his cloak that gave him away." I didn't understand. "I've only known the Volturi to wear cloaks like that. When I left you to find help for that girl, I smelled another vampire among the crowd. So I hid myself away and surveyed the crowd until I saw the cloak.

"Once I saw him, I rushed back to you with the intention of taking you away from the crowd so we could feed in peace, but he found us before I could get you away." His eyes softened as he touched my cheek. "I promised to protect you, Bella. I couldn't let him find you."

"There's nothing special about me and I could have helped you. We could have taken care of him together."

"We can't kill a member of the Volturi, Bella. Not without bringing the entire guard down on us. My only option was to convince him that I was traveling alone. If I couldn't, he would have believed I was hiding you. That you had some sort of talent that I was keeping from him…from them. He would have hunted us until he found you."

"We went back to the festival and fed a few times together that night. In the early morning hours, I bid him goodnight and left." Taking a step away from me, he continued. "I ran east leaving the city completely but he followed me. He still suspected me of lying to him and followed me for two days. He must have realized that I wasn't running to meet someone and he gave up.

"I waited for a day to be absolutely sure he was gone and once I was satisfied, I ran back here. I'm sorry if I worried you. My only concern was to keep you safe."

I pushed him away from me, turning my back on him.

"Who said I was worried?" I said with a wave of my hand.

He chuckled and I knew my voice hadn't been strong enough, giving away how much his concern affected me. Without making a sound, his arms were around me from behind, pulling me against his chest.

"Shall I count the trees in that pile over there? I believe they tell a story of their own."

My hands rested lightly on his arms for a second before my grip tightened.

"You've been warned, Garrett."

His arms disappeared quickly and I felt a light brush of his lips on my cheek before he was in front of me again, lowering himself to a bow.

"Please forgive me, Bella."

I rolled my eyes and fought not to laugh at him.

"I'll think about it," I said as I turned and walked away with a small grin.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

We left Marseilles within hours of Garrett's return, heading east and traveling through the remaining European countries. Once we crossed into Asia, we passed through – and sometimes stayed in – some of the most beautifully preserved ancient cities I had ever seen. I was simply fascinated with everything I saw and we slowed our pace to take everything in.

Finally, three years after we started our journey on the beach in Maine, Garrett and I were standing on another beach on the eastern coast of Japan. The sun had set an hour before and I was stalling, not wanting to walk into that water and end our trip.

Without thinking, I turned to him and pulled him into a tight embrace, burying my face in his chest. His arms went around me and he held me in the moonlight.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"What for?" he asked, sounding confused.

Looking up, I met his eyes. "For bringing me here, for showing me so many things that I could have only dreamed about and for risking your life for mine."

Leaning down, he placed a soft kiss on my forehead. "You have nothing to thank me for. No matter how many arguments or," he smirked, "near death confrontations you and I have gotten into, you mean the world to me, Bella. I was honored to stand by your side as you experienced all of this for the first time."

His hand slid into my hair and guided my head back to his chest. The same hand stroked my hair as the other gripped me tighter. For the first time in twelve years, I allowed myself to accept his affections without a fight and leaned calmly into his embrace.

"Can we come back again sometime?" I asked quietly.

He placed another kiss to the top of my head. "Any time you wish."

One more kiss and he took a step away from me, reaching into his pocket to pull out a small folded cloth. He held it for a moment before bring his eyes to mine.

"Before we leave this beautiful country, I have something for you."

He unfolded the cloth to reveal a small trinket attached to a thin black cord. He held it up and I examined it more closely. Softly, my fingertips touched the two small jade birds.

"Cranes," he told me. "The Japanese use them as a symbol of good fortune and longevity." Garrett gave me a small grin. "I don't think longevity is a problem for us, but no one deserves good fortune more than you, Bella. This world has shown you nothing but pain, and I am deeply ashamed to include myself in that statement. I know after what I've done, these past twelve years haven't begun to make up for my actions and the pain I've caused you, but I promise you I will spend our eternity together making it up to you. And I hope that, one day, you can forgive me."

The ocean's waves were the only sounds filling the air as I was left speechless. This kind of thing just didn't happen between Garrett and I but I could hear the sincerity in his words and it took everything in me to accept them.

Before I had a chance to speak, he held up the necklace. "May I?"

I nodded and his hands slid under my hair where he fastened the cord around my neck. He placed another kiss on my cheek when he pulled his hands away.

"Thank you." My fingers ghosted over the stone at my neck. "It's beautiful. I don't know what…"

My words were cut short when his lips claimed mine. The moment caught me by surprise but I gave in to it and kissed him back. When his arms pulled me closer to him, my mind caught up with my actions.

This kiss was wrong. I couldn't give myself to him this way. He wasn't my Edward and he never would be. I pulled away to keep this from going on any longer.

Reaching up to grab his jaw, I squeezed until I saw him wince in pain. "One more of those and I will find a way to drown you on the way back."

He gave me a distorted grin before he moved my hand away. "That's my girl." His lips quickly touched my nose before he rushed into the water. "Come on, Sweetheart, let's get out of here."

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Though the miles more than doubled, it seemed as if the trip back to the states was shorter than the trip to Europe and faster than I thought possible, we were walking onto the beach on the upper west coast. It was the perfect spot with the high cliffs providing enough darkness for us to blend into before we reached the trees just a short distance away.

"Thirsty?" Garrett asked.

I shook my head. "Not yet. I just want to run."

"As you wish."

We determined our direction and once in the cover of the forest, we began to head east. We hadn't even run five minutes before the foulest scent I'd ever inhaled assaulted my senses.

"God, what is that smell?"

"I don't know," Garrett replied. "It's vile, whatever it is."

Just then, a loud howl echoed through the trees. Seconds after the first, two more howls filled the air.

"Sounds like the wolves don't like the smell any more than we do," Garrett said. "Pick up the pace, beautiful, so we can get away from…"

"Garrett!" I shouted as I grabbed his arm and slid to a stop. "What is that?"

I pointed to my right where a huge streak of grey flew through the trees.

"Run, Bella," he yelled as the biggest wolf I'd ever seen stopped in front of us.

His hand found mine and he pulled me away from the huge wolf just as it lunged for us. We didn't get more than thirty steps before another giant brown wolf cut us off. With the sound of paws behind us and the path cut off in front of us, we turned east again, running as fast as we could.

Neither of us heard the third wolf approaching and was stunned when the growl filled our ears just before its jaws clamped down on my right shoulder. My scream pierced the air and I was ripped from Garrett's grasp as the weight of the wolf drove me to the ground.

Before it could do more damage, Garrett's kick to the black wolf's side caused it to roar, pulling its teeth from my shoulder. Another kick sent it flying away from me. His hand grabbed mine again and once I was off the ground, we took off running toward the tree line...back toward the water. We weren't fast enough though. Trying to get away from the third wolf gave the other two a chance to catch up and we were surrounded.

We'd been together long enough to know each other's minds and tactics, so when Garrett pulled me behind him, I knew it wasn't for my protection. It was to cover his back just as he would cover mine. The one thing the fighting in the south had taught us was that we were more lethal when we fought as a team.

Not considering their size, these weren't normal wolves. I could see it in their eyes. With every step we tried to make, the wolves shifted their position to keep us in their sight. It was as if they were thinking, sizing us up and working out the best way to kill us. The wolves circled slowly and after a stare down that lasted several minutes, Garrett's fingers touched my wrist and I knew he had come up with a way to fight them.

He and I had figured out long ago how to communicate in a fight without speaking. A quick touch to the body or a limb told the other where our opponent's weak points were, signaling the first place to attack. So when he brought his hand down to tap my left leg, I knew I was taking out the legs of the wolf to my left.

"Back," he said quickly, telling me where to focus my attack. "Now."

The instant the word was spoken, we were both in the air, landing behind two of the wolves. Two quick kicks to the brown wolf's hind legs and it went down…bones broken. Immediately, I landed blow after blow on its massive body, breaking more bones in my attempt to kill it. The second my fist landed above its eye, the animal yelped and stopped moving.

Garrett's pained cry hit my ears as the black wolf sank its teeth into his side. The silver wolf he had attacked lay on the ground, hind legs broken, still twisting its body and snapping its jaws in an attempt to sink its teeth into him.

There was no time to think. I rushed to Garrett's side, prying the wolf's jaws apart, forcing it to let go. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I was trying to figure out how these wolves could cut through our skin as if we were human. Once Garrett was free, I grabbed the wolf's head and swung the beast as far as the trees would allow him to fly.

Growling, yelping and the sound of snapping teeth filled the air as I turned back around. I saw the brown wolf first, struggling on the ground, using its front legs to inch its way toward Garrett, who was fighting the silver wolf again. A quick roll backward and Garrett was able to use his momentum and strength to throw the wolf behind him. I heard another bone break as it crashed into a huge tree.

Rushing to him, I reached for his hand to pull him with me as I ran toward the water. Our fingers barely touched before I was rolling to the ground again, my limbs tangled with the black wolf as its jaw clamped around my side, sinking its teeth into my back and stomach. His paw swiped my leg, leaving huge gashes behind.

Garrett jumped onto its back, again forcing the wolf's jaws open enough for me to kick the animal off of me. He let go just in time, landing on the ground next to me.

With all three wolves down, we took our chance to escape and took off running for the tree line.

"What are they?" I rushed to ask.

"I don't know."

"How could they tear into us like that?"

"I don't know."

"How could they keep getting back up?"

"Bella, just run!"

Garrett was a strong fighter, never afraid of anything but, for the second time in twelve years, I heard real fear in his voice.

"Have you ever…"

My words were cut off as I crashed to the ground. I had thought, for just a second, that the wolves caught up to us again but I was wrong. Something else was wrong. I couldn't move a single muscle and my body felt tired and worn out.

"Bella!" Garrett skidded to a stop and came back for me.

"Bella, what's wrong," he asked as his hand touched my face, my legs and my chest.

The feeling was extreme. The exhaustion was overwhelming. I couldn't remember a time, even as a human, when I'd ever felt like this.

"Can't move," I said quietly, even lacking the strength to speak.

"I've got you." He slid a hand under me to pick me up.

I couldn't have been more than six inches off the ground before his eyes widened. I heard the same thing he did; three sets of paws pounding against the earth, surely making their way toward us.

I knew we'd hurt them before we ran but, somehow, the wolves were chasing us again. We couldn't stay here. We had to go.

"Run." I put as much force into my words as I could.

"They'll keep following us and you can't fight."

"No, Garrett." He didn't understand. "Leave me and run."

The wolves were getting closer.

"Distraction," I mumbled. "You can get away."

"No! I am not letting you go."

He was running again, with me in his arms. Looking over his shoulder, I saw the black wolf gaining on us.

"It's too close." I forced the words out.

"Bella, if I don't make it…" he started to say.

"Don't." I tried to argue but didn't have the strength to talk over him.

"You need to know." He was talking fast. "I didn't kill them _all_, Bella."

"Faster," I said, seeing the black wolf close the distance.

"The women. I didn't kill them. I could never…"

The black wolf lunged at us, its paw slicing across Garrett's back. I flew out of his arms as he fell to the ground. Still unable to move, I was forced to watch as he wrestled with the wolf, rolling, punching, kicking, anything to gain the upper hand.

Finally, he gained enough leverage to throw the wolf off of him and into a tree. He was at my side in a flash but the other two were bearing down on us. As he lifted me, I saw how close we were to the edge of the trees. I could see the water, hear the waves.

Garrett crushed me to his chest. "I loved you, Bella."

His lips touched mine for the briefest moment but before I could react, he threw me from his arms with every bit of strength he had.

I heard him trying to fight, but three wolves against him were too much. Ripping, tearing and screaming filled my ears as my body hit the water.

Daylight began to break over the water before all feeling returned to me and I could move again. Kicking myself away from the ocean floor, I swam to the surface. When my head broke through the water, I turned toward the beach.

The emptiness I'd lived with for so long returned as I saw the fire – the only thing that could kill us – blazing in the middle of the beach.

I was alone again.

Garrett was gone.

* * *

><p><strong>As much as I hate it, Bella is alone again. I wish I could say that it won't affect her attitude but I'd be lying. She's lost too much already. I really did love Garrett and I'm sad to see him go, especially the way he did. So I have to say….Goodbye Garrett.<strong>

**As always, thank you so much to every new reader that's hit the alert and favorite button for this story. It means a lot to me that you're reading this little story. For all of you who've been with me all along, thanks again for giving this story the love you do. Big hugs to everyone. You are all the best. Until next time…much love to you all – D**


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story.**

**Many thanks to my amazing team. I couldn't do this without you: ellachanted, Kate22689 and AgoodWITCH Love ya tons, ladies. **

**Also, I have to give lots of hugs and kisses and a huge thank you to shelikesthesound for stepping in to beta this chapter for me this week. You did more for me than I could have ever dreamed of. You are the best, darlin. I love you so much.**

**A/N: Sorry to make this longer than it should be but I've gotten some questions on the timeline for this story since I've been jumping around a lot. So, please, read the notes at the bottom and I'll try to clear up any confusion.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 21<strong>

**EPOV**

For nearly a decade, time passed as if it were nothing. First a day here, then a month there, until years went by without my notice, but that was with my family around. Now, without my parents, without Bella, every minute seemed to last a lifetime.

Years before, Carlisle had tried to tell me what it was like for him before he had changed me. I'd listened, but I never truly understood just how crushing the loneliness of an inescapable existence could be until I walked away from him.

Before I left, I had been hurt and heartbroken, but at least he and Esme were there to love me and see me through my days. Now, after nearly a year alone, the same overwhelming isolation that Carlisle had felt was threatening to devour me with every rise and fall of the sun. I had come to realize how much it meant to me to be with them and how wrong it was for me to leave.

Carlisle and Esme would have been there with me, watching as I crossed the stage to accept my medical degree. Knowing how much it had meant to him, I would have never gone back on the decision to follow in his footsteps. Only now, even with the degree, I couldn't see myself in a hospital.

I had been out several nights earlier returning from a hunt when I heard the music in the park. The beautiful tones from a piano filled the air, and I stopped to listen. I'd remembered a distant memory of my mother – my real mother – sitting with me and teaching me how to play when I was a child.

It took me back to a time when all I had wanted to do was make her and my father proud of me. Standing there, listening to the tune I'd learned to play as a teenager, I had made the decision to continue with my education, only this time pursuing a music degree. It was my way to honor them just as I had Carlisle.

I knew he would understand when I told him the choice I was making. He had always wanted me to be happy, and if pursuing music would do that, then he would want me to do it.

With Carlisle and Esme so prominent in my mind, I remembered his promise. There would be a letter waiting for me at home, or what used to be my home. And with my birthday only three weeks away, I knew I should start heading east again, but I didn't know if I should.

If I even could.

Going home would help me feel closer to my family, but it would also bring me closer to Bella. For me, I wanted it more than anything. Just to see her again, even from a distance, would mean the world to me. However, being that close, I worried about keeping my distance.

How could I be that close to her without touching her? How could I see her again and not go to her, not tell her I wanted her. Not tell her that I still loved her?

And what if she'd moved on? Married someone else? Had a whole new family? I had always wanted it for her, but I could barely handle the thought of her being with someone else. I would never survive if I saw her with another man.

I couldn't go. No matter how much I wanted to hear from Carlisle, to know how he and Esme were doing, I couldn't do it. It would all be too much.

But I had to go. If Carlisle sent his letter, and it went unanswered, they would worry. Esme would think something had happened to me, and it would kill her. She might blame herself, or even Carlisle, for letting me go, and I couldn't do that to them.

As the ceremony finished, I said a few goodbyes and hurried out of the crowded auditorium. I needed to be alone. I needed to figure out what to do – what would be best and what I was strong enough to live through.

As I walked through the door of my small house, I went straight to the bedroom and pulled open the drawer that held my old photos. Falling into my bed, I stared at the images of my mother and father. A pain settled in my chest as I remembered them so happy together.

"That should have been us," I said as I switched to gaze at the picture of Bella. "We would have been so happy together."

I ran my finger over her image, so young and so beautiful. I wondered what she looked like now, ten years after seeing her last. At nearly twenty-seven years of age, would she still have that youthful look to her? Would she still have the gleam in her eye she always had when we were together? I hoped so. It would mean she was happy with her life.

But what if she didn't? What if she wasn't happy? What if all my hopes for her weren't fulfilled? Bella had spent the past ten years believing I was dead and gone forever. What if she couldn't move on? What if her heart was so broken that she gave up and refused to live a full life without me?

I couldn't imagine that kind of life for her. I had to know. No matter how much it might hurt me, I had to know my Bella was happy and living the full life I had always wished for her.

And again, what if she wasn't? Could I be that close to her, see her misery and do nothing? If she wasn't happy, could I watch her suffering and not comfort her?

No, I couldn't.

I had suffered every day without her, and if she were just as unhappy, I would find a way to be with her. There had to be a way.

The thought of Bella suffering at all was enough to make up my mind. I packed some clothes into a bag, locked up the house and started my trip back home.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Indecision plagued my entire journey, making it longer than it should have been. Finally, two weeks after I left Washington, I was standing roughly ten miles from home, waiting for night to fall. With a few hours to wait, I made the decision to hunt one more time. After taking down a few deer, I climbed one of the highest trees so I could watch the sun set.

Sitting alone, watching the sky change colors, I thought of Bella and our lives together growing up. I replayed every moment and let the love we felt back then wash over me. I knew I couldn't, but I wanted to feel that again.

I wanted to look into her eyes once more and see the love I used to see when she looked at me. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and promise I would never let her go again. Assure her that if she still wanted me, if she still loved me, we could be together forever. It was possible now, and I could take her with me.

As the sky above me grew dark, I made my decision. I had to see her, and if she was happy, I would leave quietly and never return. I would find Carlisle and Esme and live my life with them.

But if happiness had not found her after all these years, I would wait for nightfall to go to her and take her someplace where I could explain everything, begging for her forgiveness. And if by some miracle she still loved me, I would take her back to Carlisle so he could change her, and I could keep her with me for the rest of eternity.

With the stars finally shining, and my intentions firmly in place, I descended the tree and ran towards home. I had to be extremely careful, keeping to the shadows so that no one who had known my family in the past would see me. I assumed they knew our story and our end, so any encounter with them could jeopardize my safety _and_ theirs.

Finally, after ten long years, a relieved breath left my lungs as my eyes landed on my childhood home. I had expected pain to hit me when I saw the place. The same pains I had always felt when I would think of my mother and father, but there was none. In its place, I felt an unexplained sense of joy and happiness simply by being there. It was more than I'd ever hoped for, and I relished in the feeling until my eyes shifted to the house to its left.

Seeing Bella's house again brought with it a crippling pain that knocked me to my knees. My hand flew to the flesh over my heart, and I had to use every ounce of strength in me to keep from ripping it from my chest. The heartbreak I had felt for the past ten years was nothing compared to the immense pain threatening to tear my entire body into pieces. It was more than I could handle, but I couldn't tear my eyes away.

Desperate to see the love of my life, I crept over the back fence, climbed the garden shed and positioned myself on its roof so I could see through the window into their home. The scene was one I had been a part of countless times, Charlie and Renee Swan sitting at the dining room table waiting to eat as Mrs. Jones served their evening meal. Only this time, there was one distinct difference.

My Bella was nowhere to be found. There was no light in her bedroom window, so if she were home, she would have been either sitting with her parents or helping Mrs. Jones.

Closing my eyes, I listened but was disappointed when the only thoughts and words that came to me belonged to the three people I could plainly see. I was even more disappointed when not a single thought was spent on Bella.

Did they not wonder where she was?

Was it true she had found a husband and her home was with him now?

A crash and a scream roused me from my thoughts, and my eyes flew open to find Mrs. Jones staring in my direction, hands covering her mouth.

_Oh God, no. _

Her thoughts hit me before the words left her mouth.

"Mr. Swan," she shrieked, "on the garden shed. He's out there."

The second her head turned away from the window, I jumped from my perch to the back door of my home. I heard Charlie's quick movements as he stood and rushed to the back door. Knowing I couldn't be seen again, I sped to the side of my house furthest from theirs and peeked around the corner to watch.

Charlie was on the porch, gun in hand, ready to take down any intruder who dared enter his property.

"Who dares to set foot on my property?" he yelled into the night.

He stepped slowly into the yard, hands ready to shoot at the slightest movement.

"Show yourself," he yelled again.

With no response and no sound, Charlie walked toward the garden shed with more purpose. After examining the area, he lowered his weapon and cautiously made his way back into the house.

"There is no one out there," he stated as he closed the door behind him.

"But he was there." Mrs. Jones was still agitated. "I saw him plain as day."

"Whoever was out there must have been scared off."

_She's trembling. What could have frightened her so?_

"It's okay now." Charlie's voice lowered, hoping to soothe her.

"But he… I saw…"

Her words were muffled, and I was sure Charlie pulled her into a comforting embrace. Her thoughts, however, were unobstructed, and I was the one panicking now.

_I saw him. I know I saw him. _

How could I have been so careless? My need to see Bella had caused me to act recklessly, terrifying Mrs. Jones beyond belief.

_No. I must be mad. Mr. Edward is dead._

My heart sank as she chanted the last four words over and over again in her head. I didn't mean to frighten her. I didn't think she would even look in my direction. My mistake and my carelessness could have ruined everything, put everyone at risk. I had to be more careful.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Six nights had passed since I'd come home and not once had Bella been home to see her parents. It was odd. I remembered all of our talks, if we would have gotten married, we had agreed to visit them two or three times a week, even more after our first child would have been born. But for her not to come home, it wasn't like her at all. I began to fear something was wrong.

A knock on the door halted my thoughts before I could dwell too much on Bella's absence.

"Delivery for Mr. Edward Cullen," a very soft voice spoke through the door.

A smile crossed my face as the words were spoken. Carlisle had given me his name shortly after my change, and I had used it exclusively during our time together. Hearing it now, I knew it didn't matter I had left him. This was his way of showing me I was still his son.

The lateness of the hour surprised me. I was expecting a regular mail delivery, which meant my letter would have been delivered the next day on my birthday. I hadn't anticipated a personal delivery to come at night, so I was a bit taken aback when the man called my name.

I waited until I heard his footsteps a fair distance from the house before I went to the door to retrieve the letter. Only it wasn't just a letter, it was a small box with my name and address written across the top.

Closing the door behind me, I retreated to my room to open the package Carlisle sent me. The smile returned to my face again as I saw the folded paper sitting on top of a pile of cash. Even when we were together, Carlisle always made sure I had enough money with me, should I need it. And there he was acting like a normal father, worried I wasn't earning enough on my own to sustain me.

Unfolding the papers, I was surprised to find a separate letter from Esme. I smiled as I read her words of love and fought the anguish as she told me how much she missed me and wanted me home with them. I missed them too, so very much, and I was ready to go home. I just had to see Bella once before I returned.

Carlisle's letter was more controlled than Esme's. First speaking of how he'd hired a crew to keep the house in order since we'd been gone, before expressing his desire to have me home with them without getting overly emotional with his words. Also, as I suspected, he explained the money was his way of still taking care of his son during this separation. The last part of his letter expressed their desire to move again – maybe to New York this time – but they would wait for my response to do so. Neither of them wanted me to return to our home to find them gone.

New York would be an interesting change from Washington, and they had great schools there. I would have to explain my decision to Carlisle, and he would have to pull some strings to get me admitted so late in the year, but at least I could begin classes again. I would earn my degree in music before…

_Daddy, I'm so sorry. _

The sound of Charlie's voice halted my musings. I had thought, with the lateness of the hour, everyone next door would be asleep. I was wrong. Not wanting to intrude, I returned my attention to my letter.

_Please forgive me for leaving…_

Those words piqued my interest again, and I listened more intently to what he was saying.

…_but I can't stay here any longer. I have tried to move on, Daddy, but I simply can't. Edward's death has torn my heart to pieces, and I cannot put them back together again as if he were never in my life. I love him and miss him far too much to pretend anything is normal without him._

"Dear God, no." My words were barely a whisper as the tightness in my chest hit me with full force.

_I don't want to leave you or mother or Mrs. Jones, but I cannot stay. The memories of him, of us, are everywhere, haunting me every day. If I don't get away, I will lose myself to the madness of grief that threatens to kill me every waking minute of the day._

I was gasping for air as I jumped from my bedroom window. A light shone from their dining room window, and I rushed over to see Bella's father with tears pouring down his face as he read a letter, obviously from Bella.

_I know you have forbidden it, but I went to his house again today. It's his eighteenth birthday, and I had to leave one last gift before I said goodbye to him forever. And now I say goodbye to you. I must go. I have no choice. But I beg you, please don't come looking for me._

Grief knocked me to my knees, and I was holding in sobs of my own as I listened to him read Bella's heartache.

_I would never survive if I had to come back here. Knowing Edward is gone is hard enough, but to see his absence in everything around me is more than I can take. Please, Daddy, please let me go. Let me try to find a life that doesn't hurt so much. Please take care of mother. She'll need you more than ever now. I love you. I always will. Bella_

Cries erupted from Charlie the instant he finished reading. His cries covered my own as I lay curled in a ball underneath the window. My Bella was gone. So devastated, she couldn't stand to live here where she belonged, where she was safe and loved and protected.

How could I have let this happen? I knew Bella with every fiber of my being. She was the other half of my heart, the other half of my soul. I should have known what my death would do to her. Why didn't I come back for her? How could I have believed she could ever move on?

I should have been there. The second I remembered her and my love for her, I should have come back. I shouldn't have allowed Carlisle to keep me away.

Her letter was written on my birthday. I was so close that day. If I hadn't listened to him, if I had just followed my heart, I would have been with her. I could have stopped her from leaving. I could have had her with me all these years.

Hearing her words, she had suffered so much. I'd sworn to never hurt her, and I had done so much more than that. She was shattered, broken and alone because of me, because I went back on my promise, because I wasn't…

"Sweetheart," Renee's voice cut through my thoughts, "please don't read that again. You're only hurting yourself more, and I hate to see you this way."

"Tomorrow will be nine years, Renee," he choked out. "I just want my baby home with me so I can keep her safe."

"I want that, too, Charles, more than anything."

"What if she's hurt or sick or d…?"

"Don't you dare say that word, Charles Swan! My little girl is out there somewhere, living a better life now."

"And _somewhere_ is good enough for you?" he questioned her angrily. "As long as you _think_ she's happy!"

It was the first time I'd ever heard him yell at Bella's mother like that. His hand slamming against the table had me on my feet again, peeking through the window.

He was standing now, towering over her. The look on his face had me afraid for her. I'd never known Charles Swan to raise a hand to a lady, and I didn't expect him to now. But I had been gone a long time, and it looked like Bella's absence had severely affected their relationship.

"Well, hoping she's happy is just not good enough for me. We need to find her, Renee!"

"And where do you propose we look?" she yelled back at her husband. "You've spent years looking. You've exhausted every resource we have. We have almost nothing left, and you'll spend what little we do have to look for someone who does not want to be found."

The bombardment of angry words that passed through his head sent me to my knees again. The pain Bella and her family were in was my fault. If I had just come back, none of this would have happened.

"Someone!" he roared. "That is all Isabella is to you now! _Someone_?"

"You know that's not…" Renee tried to argue.

"How dare you?" His rage was frightening. "You are her mother. Finding her should be your main concern. It should be everything you live for!"

Back on my feet again, I watched as he had Bella's mother cornered. The look of fear on her face hurt me to see. This wasn't the family I remembered and longed to be a part of.

"If it's not… If your daughter, you own flesh and blood, means so little to you, then you can leave my house," he roared. "Leave and never return!"

"Stop this!" Mrs. Jones screamed as she ran into the room. "I cannot listen to this again!"

Mr. Swan straightened up, refocusing his anger on the small woman.

"Every year…" she began but trailed off, wiping at the tears running down her face.

"Don't you dare speak to me that way," Charlie warned.

"I will speak to you any way I see fit, Charles Swan," she chastised him. "My mother raised you, Charles. You and I grew up as friends, as close as brother and sister. I would have never believed you capable of speaking to a woman this way. And not any woman…your own wife."

She positioned herself between Bella's parents, ready to take his anger away from his wife.

"I have lived in this house and been a part of this family my entire life, and I have never had cause to doubt the love either of you have for Miss Bella. How dare you question it now?"

Mrs. Jones stepped toward him, forcing Charlie back towards the table.

"Your wife has suffered this loss with you, Charles, yet every year you attack her as if her own daughter means nothing to her. I have listened to this for far too long without saying a word, but I will no longer stand by and allow you to take your anger and pain out on this woman who has lost more than you have."

I watched as she took a few more steps, forcing Mr. Swan back into the chair he had been sitting in as he read Bella's letter. Now eye level with him, Mrs. Jones pointed the same scolding finger at him she'd used to use on Bella and me when we were children.

"You have lost your daughter, Charles, but she has lost her daughter _and_ her husband. She stands alone in this house, hoping her daughter will one day walk through that door again, all the while waiting for her husband to remember his love for her."

"I never…" His strangled response was cut off.

"Just because you don't see the tears and the anguish she has lived in for the past nine years, it does not mean she doesn't care. She has given up so much trying to run this house while you are out spending every cent in your search for Miss Bella."

She glanced quickly over her shoulder at Renee before focusing again on Charlie.

"You wouldn't have a home to come back to if it wasn't for her. She deserves your appreciation, your sympathy and your undying devotion, not your anger or your threats."

Mrs. Jones thrust her finger into his chest, and he jumped at the contact.

"Every person in this house was devastated the second Miss Bella walked out that door. But we cannot lose sight of what is important."

She looked back over her shoulder again and reached her hand out to Renee, who stepped hesitantly forward to take it. Pulling her closer, Mrs. Jones placed Renee's hand in Charlie's and held them between hers.

"This family needs to stay strong, and your love for each other is the only thing to keep this house together. Miss Bella will need that love to be strong enough to fight the demons that haunt her here when she finally comes home."

Charlie's empty hand grabbed Renee around the waist and pulled her to him roughly. With his forehead pressed to her stomach, he broke down again, apologizing profusely. Renee dropped to her knees in front of him, wrapping him in her arms. They cried together, each one professing their love for the other.

Mrs. Jones stood back with a sad smile on her face and tears in her eyes. Without warning, Charlie was out of his chair, pulling Mrs. Jones into his arms.

"Thank you, Maggie," he whispered. "You're the best friend I could have ever hoped for."

They held each other for a moment before Mrs. Jones pulled away and slapped him on the shoulder.

"Now that you're done, Charles," she led him back to the table, "let's find our girl."

The three sat at the dining room table with papers spread everywhere, retracing their steps.

"Here's the information we have," Charlie began, pointing to a dot on the map. "We know for a fact that Chicago was the first stop for her. Then she was seen in Peoria, Springfield, St. Louis and Memphis."

Panic began to fill me as I watched him trace Bella's movements further south on the map. Carlisle had told me of the fighting in the South. It was an interesting piece of history to me, and we'd had many discussions about what goes on down there. The viciousness of those wars was one of the reasons Carlisle lived primarily in the northern states.

Now, after the heartbreaking information I'd already learned tonight, I had to stand there and listen to Charlie say that my Bella, my sweet angel, was headed to the one place some vampires wouldn't even go. The dangers she could face…

Charlie's heavy sigh brought me back to his discussion. "We lost her after that, and we have spent the past several years searching the major cities further south and to the east. Now we're expanding…"

"No!" The word slipped before I could stop it, alerting everyone inside to my presence.

Moving at top speed, I was back in my room before Charlie could even open the door. With his gun in hand, he searched his backyard for another intruder while I paced my bedroom floor. Dread filled every part of me as I replayed his words over and over again.

'_We lost her... We lost her…'_

"No, no, no, no, no."

Fear gripped my heart as I dropped to my knees and prayed to God that she was still alive. I begged for forgiveness for leaving her behind all those years ago. I swore to him, if kept her from harm and allowed me to find her, I would love her, hold her and keep her safe by my side forever. I would spend every second of my existence making up for every day of suffering she had been forced to live through because I wasn't strong enough to come back for her.

I scrambled to my bag and pulled out what I needed to write a quick response to Carlisle. As much as I wanted to return to my family, nothing would keep me from finding Bella. In my letter, I apologized and told him I wasn't ready to come home yet. I asked him to kiss Esme for me and tell her that I missed her deeply, but I needed more time. Without giving him too many details about what I'd learned, I finished the letter by asking him to anonymously send some money to Bella's parents. I couldn't stand by and let them lose more than they already had for something that was my fault.

My letter was written, and I was packed; a quick look out the window told me there was no one around, and I ran into the night to find Bella. I just prayed to God I wasn't too late.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Two years since I'd begun my search, I had nothing to show for it. Every lead gave me nothing; Bella was nowhere to be found. But I couldn't give up hope. I knew she was out there somewhere, and I would continue searching until I found her. I had already failed her once, and I wasn't going to do it again.

Being as careful as possible, I traveled into San Antonio. The fighting was so much worse there, and for the first time, I hoped I didn't find a single trace of her in the midst of the chaos. She didn't belong in a place like this.

As I had since I started my search, I showed Bella's picture around, trying to find someone who had seen her. And, as I had for the majority of the past two years, I was coming up with nothing. Feeling the familiar defeat, I decided it was time to move on.

I hadn't gone more than ten miles outside the city before I realized someone was following me. Another vampire, of course, as no human could track me. I slowed a bit and found a place to lie in wait. The second my unwanted visitor was close enough, my hand wrapped around the vampire's neck, slamming her to the ground.

"Who are you?" I demanded. "Why are you following me?"

Her red eyes looked scared for a moment before she collected herself enough to speak.

"My name's Victoria," she answered, "and I know the girl you're looking for."

* * *

><p><strong>Finally, Edward knows the pain Bella was in before she left and he's on a mission to find her. Hopefully it won't be too long and they can finally be together again.<strong>

**Okay, here are the important dates to remember for both Bella and Edward.**

**1918 – Edward was changed.**

**1919 – Bella was changed.**

**1927 – Edward left Carlisle and Esme. Bella left the country with Garrett**

**1928 – Edward returned home to find Bella gone and began his search for her.**

**Mid 1930 – Edward is still searching, but now has Victoria to help.**

**Late 1930 – Bella returns to the states and Garrett dies. **

**I hope this clears up any confusion for everyone.**

**As always, thank you so much to every new reader that's hit the alert and favorite button. It means a lot to me that you're reading this little story. For all of you who've been with me all along, thanks again for giving Edward and Bella the love you do. Big hugs to everyone. You are all the best. Until next time…much love to you all – D**


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story. **

**Many thanks to my amazing team. I couldn't do this without you: ellachanted, Kate22689 and AgoodWITCH Love ya tons, ladies. **

**A/N: I have to apologize. I suffered from a massive case of writer's block and couldn't write much of anything for nearly a month. Every story I have suffered for it, but I'm back at it now and working hard to push these next chapters out so I don't keep you waiting. **

**Also, I'm bringing you and extra chapter in Edward's pov as I work to merge Bella and Edward's timelines again. So this chapter will end in November of 1930 right where Bella's last chapter ended. I hope you like it.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 22<strong>

**EPOV**

"You know her?" I asked, shocked to finally find someone to answer my prayers.

"Yes, we met years ago," she spoke quickly.

"When? Where? How long ago? Where is she now? Have you seen her since?"

The questions came so fast I couldn't stop them even if I wanted to. I wanted…no, needed to know everything she did. Every detail she could remember. Quickly searching her thoughts, I caught glimpses of Bella and knew she was telling the truth.

"Not far from here, but it's been years."

Her hand grasped my wrist and I realized I was still holding her to the ground. Loosening my grip, I moved away from her.

"Tell me," I demanded, angrily. "Tell me where and how you met. Tell me where she is."

"Ten years ago," she said. "East of here, in Galveston."

She told me the details of their time together, but every word out of her mouth made me uneasy. My body became more and more rigid as I watched the images play in her mind. The words she spoke didn't match the flashes I was seeing.

"She was a sweet girl. My husband, James, took an instant liking to her and wanted her to stay with us but…"

Her sentence was lost to me as a vision assaulted my mind.

A distant view of Bella, her back pressed against a tree, the only visible hand balled into a fist. A man with short, dark-blond hair standing in front of her, nuzzling his head into her neck and speaking into her ear. _"Stay, please. We could have fun. He'll never know." _The vision went dark, but I heard Bella's voice clearly. _"Keep your hands off me."_

The growl came from deep within my chest. How could this woman stand so calmly in front of me and tell me that her husband wanted my Bella?

"He wanted her?" I roared, barely containing my anger. "Where is your husband now?"

Her eyes hardened before she dropped them to the ground.

"He's dead," she told me in a voice that held more rage than sadness. "He was attacked and killed before Isabella left us."

Knowing the pain of losing the one person you loved most in the world, I felt a slight pang of regret for my anger.

"I'm sorry for your loss."

"It's been a long time and if it wasn't for Isabella, I wouldn't have a reason to go on."

A sense of pride filled me. Bella was always so caring and willing to offer comfort to those who needed it.

Another image suddenly hit me.

A piercing scream echoed through the air as Bella focused on a body burning in the blaze in front of her. Anger like I'd never seen before marred her features and as the flames reflected in her eyes, a disturbing red-orange shade took the place of the beautiful deep brown I loved so much.

"So you see," Victoria continued, pulling me from the first real vision of Bella I'd had in twelve years, "I've been looking for her as well. I owe her a great debt and I must see it paid."

A new vision replaced the last.

Bella gliding around the flames, getting closer with each slow step. The vision shifts abruptly to the trees but Bella's laugh was loud and clear before she whispered, _"His death was quick. Take comfort in knowing that he died with your name on his lips."_ Her tone was taunting and she laughed again. _"Let her go."_

"_Are you sure?" _a man answered.

"_She is worthless without him."_

The blazing fire returned to view a split second before Victoria's ear-splitting scream ripped through the air. Another quick shift, the distance to Bella diminished and a hand reached to grab her. In a blindingly fast move, Bella's face came into view, hovering as her grip cut off the screaming._ "If I see you again, your fate will be the same as his."_

Shock nearly paralyzed me and I fought to block out the rest. It was no help, though. The image cemented itself in my mind. My Bella, my sweet angel, had an evil look in her eyes.

In her _red_ eyes.

_It's not true. No…it can't be true._

My mind rebelled against the vision.

_It's not possible. Bella couldn't be…_

No! It wasn't true. It had to be some kind of trick. I refused to believe that she… I couldn't even finish the thought.

Answers! She had to give me answers. She had to tell me that I was seeing things. She had to tell me that my Bella wasn't…that she wasn't…

"Tell me," I spoke through clenched teeth, struggling to keep my composure, "how did you do it? Being that close to a human girl every day without…"

The sentence caught in my throat but, thankfully, Victoria took no notice of the turmoil I was in.

"Human? No," she answered in disbelief. "Newborn and, judging by her strength and speed, very new."

_She could have never killed James otherwise._

What was left of my world shattered around me with Victoria's final thought. My knees hit the dirt and I choked on every breath I tried to take.

My Bella was a vampire. Had been for the past ten years.

I'd spent the last twelve years alone to spare Bella this kind of life. She didn't deserve this. She was turned into a vampire. She was turned into a killer.

My fingers dug into the earth beneath me, giving me something to hold on to so I didn't tear this woman apart. She was not at fault. She didn't change her.

'_I've been looking for her as well. I owe her a great debt and I must see it paid.'_

Replaying her thoughts and visions in my head, I understood what she meant.

Victoria didn't change her, but she _was_ looking for her. Bella killed her husband – possibly her mate – and now she was searching for her. She was seeking vengeance. Her plan was to find Bella and kill her.

That wouldn't happen. I would tear her apart before she ever got the chance.

"You didn't know about her," she asked quietly. "How long has it been since you've seen her?"

I had to get control of myself. I couldn't let Victoria know that I knew her plan. She had to believe her secret was still safe or she wouldn't help me. And who better to help me now than a scorned woman with an ulterior motive. She had more reason to find Bella than anyone.

Breathing deeply, I pulled my hands from the dirt and sat back on my heels, keeping my focus on the ground in front of me.

"Twelve years," I answered her question, trying to keep my voice as steady as possible. "She was away with her family when I was changed and it took some time before my memories of her returned."

"And you didn't think to look for her before now?"

"I had no reason to look before." I growled at the accusation in her tone. "She was with her family. She should have been safe. This shouldn't have happened."

"We must hurry and find her then. So you can know and understand how this happened to her." Victoria's hand covered my shoulder. "I've come close to finding them several times but they always slip away just as I get close."

"They?" I repeated the only word to catch my attention.

"She and her mate traveled through…"

"Her what?" I roared.

Victoria was on the ground again with my hand around her throat before she could finish her sentence.

"Did you say _mate_?"

She clawed at my wrist, trying to break my hold. I gripped tighter.

"How could you not tell me?"

Her eyes widened when my fingers broke through the skin of her neck.

_Please don't kill me. Please don't kill me._

Despair gripped my heart as I listened to her unspoken pleas for her life. Releasing my hold, I put distance between Victoria and myself. My hands pulled at my hair as I processed her words.

My Bella was a vampire and she had found her mate.

Bella and I were supposed to be together. She was my heart and soul. She loved me more than anything. I knew she did. How could that change? Was her love for me simply tied to her human life? Did her love for me die when she did?

I didn't seem possible. Bella was mine. She would always be mine.

I had to find her and prove to her that we still belonged together. That not even death could keep us apart.

I gathered my emotions and centered myself enough to speak. "I'm sorry, Victoria."

"You love her," she whispered.

"More than anything."

"Knowing what a shock this has been, I'll forgive you."

_Attack me again and I will kill you. _She added in her thoughts.

"I have to find her. Will you still help me?" I asked, knowing she wouldn't resist.

"Of course."

"Where do we start?"

"As I tried to say before, they traveled through the mountains for some time before making their way toward the eastern coast." She moved cautiously, bringing herself in front of me but keeping her distance. "Their scents disappeared and I assumed they found their way into the ocean."

"Then we'll head east. Let's go."

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

After a quick trip home to receive his letter and tell Carlisle, yet again, I wasn't ready to return home, Victoria and I made our way to the east coast. We started our search on the coast of Maine where she had originally lost their scents. I knew there was no chance of finding anything three years after they were last seen, but it was the best place to start.

Three months passed and we'd searched every coastal town from Maine to Virginia, turning up less information than I had in my search through the south. Bella and her _mate_ were nowhere to be found and I had to fight the urge to give up. Now that I knew we could really be together again, I refused to give in and let him have her. Bella was mine and she always would be.

Nearing the middle of September, a hurricane halted our progress on the Virginia coast as I decided to stay and help the wounded in one of the local clinics. The damage wasn't horrible, but I couldn't bring myself to leave while there were people who could use my help. As much as I hated to do it, I put my search on hold.

Victoria wasn't happy with the wait. She'd never said it aloud but she hated me for delaying her. From the second we'd left San Antonio, she'd been thinking of almost nothing else but ways to kill Bella. The only break I'd received from her murderous plans was the times she would picture Bella killing James.

The first time the memory hit me, I'd nearly broke a man's arm as I questioned him about seeing Bella. The complete viciousness as she attacked him had me reeling. When we were together, she was so sweet, playful and loving. I could barely believe she could be capable of something so evil. The person I was seeing in Victoria's mind was not my Bella.

After the memory of James' death played out, Victoria's thoughts immediately changed and images of her ripping Bella's head from her body in revenge caused me to put a hole in the wall of the nearest building.

I'd been seeing those same images every day for months and, if I didn't have to continue the charade, Victoria would be dead by now. However, her help in finding Bella was what I desperately needed, so I'd put my hatred for her aside, swearing to myself that the second she was no longer useful, she would be dead.

"Can we go now," Victoria whined as I returned from the clinic.

"When my work is done here," I growled at her impatience.

"We've been here for three weeks. If we stay any longer, we'll never find her." She tried to convince me. "They've already got such a lead on us; any delay could mean we'd never catch them."

She backed herself into a wall as I moved closer to her, my hands pressed on either side of her body, caging her in.

"We leave when I say we leave." I leaned in and she pressed her back farther into the wall, the plaster cracking around her. Lowering my voice, I added, "And not a second sooner. Do you understand me?"

Eyes wide, she answered, "Yes, Edward. I know how much you love her and want to find her again. I'm only thinking of you and what it would be like for you if we lost their trail."

"Trail?" I scoffed. "What trail have we found, Victoria? I searched for two years and found nothing. You and I have searched for months and still nothing. So I ask again, what trail are we following?"

Her eyes locked on mine. "Edward, do not give up hope," she whispered, laying a hand on my arm and lowering it slowly. "If we keep looking, we'll find her."

Her other hand touched my shoulder, inching its way up my neck before tangling her fingers in my hair.

"But we can't if we stay here." Her words were soft…hypnotizing.

My other hand moved away from the wall, gliding up her arm to her wrist. Releasing her hand from my hair, I held it between us and she smiled.

With both our hands linked together, she took a step, bringing her body dangerously close to mine.

"Run with me, Edward." Her hands left mine and found a place on my shoulders. "This is no place for us. Let us go back to Texas or even Mexico. Anywhere but here, Edward."

I reached up to grab her hands, holding them as I spoke. "Okay, Victoria," I agreed. "We'll leave in a week." I gave her hands a small squeeze. "One more thing, though."

"Yes, Edward."

"Touch me like that again and your arms will be at the bottom of the ocean," I threatened as my fingers closed around hers tightly, snapping a few fingers.

I knew I shouldn't have done it, but it felt good to let go of some of the hatred I held for her. With her visions of killing Bella attacking my mind every second of the day, she was lucky all I did was threaten her, because it could have been so much worse.

Releasing her hands, I walked towards the doorway. Before walking through it, I turned to glance at her over my shoulder.

"We'll go. We'll run, Victoria. You better hope you can keep up."

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

October changed to November and my search came to an end on the southern shores of Florida. I'd spent the last three days asking every person I'd encountered if they'd ever seen her and the answers were always the same.

"_I'm so sorry, Sir." _Or… _"No, Sir, I would remember if I had." _And… _"Wish I could be more help."_

The pain that had taken residence in my chest flared as I lay broken in the sand just feet from the water. My eyes focused on the moon while I tried to block out the maddening thoughts of the woman sitting not fifty feet from me.

Honestly, I didn't know why I kept her around anymore. I could kill her now and it wouldn't make any difference. She wasn't _really_ helping me. She was more of a nuisance…an aggravation I couldn't separate myself from because part of me still hoped that, with all her anger, hate and rage, she could actually find Bella's trail and this would all be over.

But I had no right to hope. Living this existence without her was my punishment for leaving her behind twelve years ago. My retribution for not loving her enough to fight for her and for breaking my promises to her.

It was my job as her future husband to keep her safe and protected and I'd failed her. By not going back, I'd sent a devastated girl straight into the arms of the man who took her life and changed her loving soul into something that harbored pure evil.

She'd torn a man to shreds and burned his body with absolutely no remorse. She'd threatened to do the same to his wife…his mate without a second thought. Even through second hand visions I could see how little of my beautiful angel remained in those now red eyes.

_Dear God, please help me. I beg you, please…help me find her. Give me the strength to keep going because I can't lose her, not again._

Never moving from the sand, I prayed to God until the sun's rays began to light the horizon. Suddenly, just as the darkness faded from the sky above me, a realization dawned on me.

Victoria had said that Bella and _her mate_ – I growled, still unable to even think the words – stayed in the mountains until they went east and into the water where Victoria lost them. It wasn't much to go off of, but maybe we hadn't found them yet because we were looking in the wrong place.

What if Bella wasn't in the east or even the south? What if she had returned to the mountains where it was so easy to hide?

I was on my feet in a second, running to grab Victoria and pulling her along behind me.

"Edward, what are you doing? Let me go," she yelled as I nearly pulled her arm off.

I didn't answer. I kept running, dragging her with me.

Struggling to keep up, she asked, "What is wrong with you? Where are we going?"

"West. Now run before I leave you here!"

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Less than two days' time and we were back in Galveston where Victoria had first met Bella. I hadn't intended to stop before I reached the mountains, but I needed to hunt and I needed to get away from Victoria for a while.

The closer we'd gotten to the city the more murderous her thoughts had become. She was barely thinking clearly and every thought running through her mind showed Bella dying a horrific death. Unable to take her visions any longer, I told her I was going hunting and I would be back in the morning.

I ran farther than necessary to avoid any chance of Victoria's thoughts invading mine as I tried to calm myself enough to hunt. After taking down the first three deer, my mind cleared and I suddenly felt a hope rising in me that I hadn't felt in more than a decade.

I was going to find her. I could feel it this time as the strangest sensation washed over me. It was as if I could physically feel Bella getting closer to me and I knew I was on the right track. It was only a matter of time.

With this new feeling energizing every nerve in my body, there was no way I could wait until morning. I took down a fourth deer that had mistakenly crossed my path before making my way back to the woods where I'd left Victoria.

My first thought was to leave her and continue towards the mountains alone, but that wasn't an option. She wanted Bella dead and she wouldn't stop until she was standing over a pile of ashes. I'd seen the image in her head countless times and I would not let it happen.

She'd left me with one option. For my Bella to live, Victoria had to die.

Driven by my desire to keep Bella safe once I found her, I flew through the trees on my way to take care of Victoria once and for all. As I closed the distance, my anger boiled inside me as my mind replayed every evil thought toward Bella she'd ever let pass through her mind.

Close enough now to hear her voice, a growl erupted from my chest. I had to finish this quickly and move on to the mountains. Bella was getting closer; I could feel it and I wouldn't let anyone or anything stand in the way of finding her.

"No wait." Victoria's voice was strained.

"Wait?" A stranger's question stopped me in my tracks. He continued, "I find you in _my_ woods and you want me to wait for an explanation before I kill you."

Taking to the trees, I moved in as close as I dared. Whoever this stranger was, I didn't want to alert him to my presence while I attempted to learn more.

"But I live here," Victoria tried to explain.

"I do not appreciate being lied to." His voice was cold and I could hear his footfalls as he paced.

"I'm not…"

"Enough," he growled and Victoria gasped for air. "Who else is here with you?"

"No one," she struggled to say.

"You're lying to me again," he said. Simultaneously, a softer, internal voice said, _'I can feel someone.'_

Moving through a few more trees, I could see Victoria on her knees in the distance. A blond man was standing behind her with a hand around her throat. His head shot up and I watched as he sniffed the air.

"I can smell him," he whispered into her ear. "It is a man, isn't it?"

_He's angry…very angry. _

His thoughts became louder as Victoria's fearful thoughts became more incoherent. Using everything Carlisle had ever taught me, I pushed her thoughts out of my mind and focused solely on his.

In answer to his question, Victoria shook her head as much as she could.

_I thought so. _

Her lack of response confirmed his suspicions.

"You don't have to protect him. I know he's here." He paused to look through the trees, seeing nothing as I was out of sight. "Is he your mate? Is he going to stop me from killing you?"

_Come on, I know you're out there._

Peeking around the trunk of the tree I was in, I saw him looking around again. He'd already caught my scent and he'd said that he could feel me, though I didn't know what that meant.

He knew I was here, so why was I still hiding from him?

I guessed if I was honest, I was holding more than a little hope that he'd do my job for me and kill Victoria himself.

"If I squeeze a little harder…? If I rip your throat out, will he come find me? Will he try to kill me?" he asked mockingly.

_Please, let him try._

Victoria was pulling on his arm, trying desperately to release his hold.

"Call to him," he ordered.

She shook her head.

"We both know he's here. Call to him," he demanded.

"Edward." Her voice was barely above a whisper.

He shook her hard as he pulled her to her feet. One hand held both of hers as he released her neck and grabbed her hair with the other.

"Not good enough," he roared, yanking her head back.

"Edward!" she screamed.

_Yes, Edward. Come out and fight._

Ready to give this stranger what he wanted, I jumped through two trees and down to the ground, landing in a crouch in front of them.

The blond man's devilish grin distorted his features, giving him a sinister look as he stood in front of me holding a helpless Victoria in his hands.

_And here I thought there may have been something to fear._

"You called for me," I said with as much force as I could muster, "what do you want?"

"Edward," he drew out my name, "not even a hello for your mate? Not very gentlemanly of you."

"You are the one holding a woman against her will and you question my honor? Not very gentlemanly of you, is it?" I threw his words back at him.

"I don't claim to be." His hand pulled her head back further. "The fact remains, you are in my woods and trespassing will not be tolerated. You now have two choices. You can say goodbye to your mate and watch her die or you can do the honorable thing and take her place."

Standing up from my crouch, I paced slowly in front of him, stalking him and getting the right angle for my attack.

He leaned in to whisper in Victoria's ear again. "He's angry. Can you feel it?"

He focused his attention back on me. "Make your decision, Edward. Her life…or yours?"

"Who are you to make demands on my life?" I asked defiantly. His brow shot up in question. "I suppose, if you're so determined to kill someone today, take her. I couldn't care less."

"Edward, how could you…"

"Not another word, Victoria." I silenced her. "I've heard more than I ever want to hear from you." My eyes shifted back to the man holding her. "You want to kill her? Then kill her," I yelled, my voice echoing in the silence.

He hesitated for just a second, but I didn't.

I had the angle, I had the speed and, in his split second of hesitation, I had Victoria's head in my hands. Never taking my eyes off him, I tossed it aside as her body dropped from his hands.

Seeing his first move before he made it, I ducked as he lunged for me, kicking a leg up and catching him in the stomach to send him flying backward ten feet.

_He's fast. _

He flew at me and, again, I jumped over his charging body and kicked him from behind. His body twisted to face me again before the distance between us grew.

_Take his legs._

Back in my crouch, I waited for the assault he was planning. He didn't run at me this time, slowly stalking around me as he moved closer and closer with every step.

"You're quick…and smart," he looked me up and down, "but you'll never win," he said as his arm swept my right leg out from under me.

His hand caught my ankle as I fell and he swung my body to the ground behind him. I saw his next move a split second before his fist punched the ground where my head had been. I twisted away from him but, with me on the ground, he had the advantage.

His arms were a blur as he swung at me again and again but I blocked every attempt. A frustrated growl erupted just before he grabbed my shirt with both hands and threw me towards the trees.

Their thick trunks gave way under the force of the impact and I was stunned. He was on me again before I cleared my head, landing several blows to my chest and a few to my legs. Once I was fully aware, I caught the hands beating down on me and flipped him off of me. Before he landed, my hand circled his neck and drove him to the ground.

I began swinging, but he blocked every blow with ease. Again, his mind gave him away and I spun away from him before his legs wrapped themselves around my neck.

_Quick…but not quick enough._

His hand shot out for my ankle to stop my retreat. His fingers grazed my leg, but I'd seen his plan to grab me and fling me back into the trees just in time to pull away again.

In a flash, we were both on our feet again, circling each other, looking for the most effective attack.

He sidestepped to the right as he thought about sweeping my legs again. I countered quickly with a step to the left, keeping away from his hands.

I jumped at him, he ducked and his hands caught my shirt again, driving me to the ground. His fist buried itself into the dirt when I rolled away from his strike. A quick punch to his side and he rolled backwards.

With the slight advantage, I rushed to attack him again but just before my fist connected with his cheek, a searing pain shot through my right shoulder. It was as if my shoulder was being ripped apart and the devastating ache knocked me to my knees.

Doubled over in pain, I expected to be attacked, but nothing came. A roar of pain that wasn't my own caught my attention and I turned my head to my adversary. He was on the ground, leaning against a tree, eyes wide and gripping his own shoulder.

It didn't make sense. It looked as if he was in just as much pain as I was. _How could that be?_ I pushed past the pain and listened.

_I didn't touch him. Where did this come from?_

As his thoughts passed through his mind, the pain in my shoulder had faded. Still reeling, I wasn't in the frame right mind to move yet and it gave him the advantage again. He was on me in a flash swinging at me with crushing blows.

I heard the frustration growing in his mind as I blocked hit after hit. His plans changed frantically as he tried to get the upper hand. Every attempt was blocked until, with a growl, he jumped away from me, rethinking his attack.

I listened to every thought and fought against every strike. He was fast, smart and very methodical as he moved but nothing he did gave him the advantage he was expecting. When one strategy didn't work, he changed tactics quickly. He was a warrior. It was obvious and he lived for the fight…for the kill. But when I wouldn't go down easily, he didn't know what to do.

"You're never going to beat me," I taunted him as we stalked each other again. "I'm faster than you. I can block every kick, every swing you throw at me. You should just walk away now and save yourself the embarrassment of losing."

_You're a fool, Edward. You will learn soon enough that Jasper Whitlock does not lose?_

His thoughts were venomous and his words were spoken with just as much fury. "You _obviously_ don't know who I am." His narrowed red eyes pierced through me as he spoke.

I crouched a little lower, ready to spring. "_You _are the next man I'm going to kill," I growled, matching his tone.

_The arrogance of youth. _He threw his head back in laughter.

Seeing the slim opening, I lunged at him. One hand grabbed his shirt but his hand grabbed my other before I had a firm hold on his neck. He used his own body weight to take me to the ground with him. We rolled until I had him pinned, with one arm in my hand and the other under his body.

A threatening smirk settled on his face. "Not good enough, Edward."

Faster than I was ready for, his body jerked forward, slamming his forehead into mine. He heaved me to the side and punched me in the chest with his free arm. We both jumped to a crouch, circling each other once more. After two more quick strikes, I was on my back again, his hand squeezing my throat.

"You can't kill me, Edward." His fingers tightened their grip.

"Watch me, Jasper," I roared.

His sudden shock gave me the advantage I needed. A quick move and I was up, swinging him into the trees. I lunged the second he hit but he was faster, ducking away from my attack. I caught myself on the tree and rushed toward him for another strike.

Just as I was about to grab him, a sudden fatigue took over my body and I fell to the ground. Panic filled me as I tried to move and failed. I was left watching Jasper Whitlock stalk me like a predator.

"Who are you? Who sent you here? How do you know me?"

"I don't know you." My words were slurred.

"You're lying to me, Edward," he sneered. "As your mate found out, I detest liars."

"She wasn't my mate," I said with disgust. "She was _nothing_. A nuisance I needed to be rid of."

"No matter." He shrugged. "I want to know who sent you here," he demanded.

"No one sent me." I forced the words out.

His foot pushed my shoulder, rolling me onto my back. Hovering over me, his hands fisted the collar of my shirt, lifting me closer to him.

"I don't know you or her," he jerked his head towards Victoria's lifeless body. "I find you in _my_ territory unannounced and you want me to believe no one sent you here," he said incredulously.

He lowered my body a little away from his while his mind chased ideas of who I could be.

_Of course. _

"You're a scout, aren't you? Sent here to test our defenses."

"No," I answered his accusation. I had no idea what he was talking about.

He let my shirt go and I dropped to the ground. I tried to move again but my limbs were useless. I couldn't move a single muscle. I could only follow him with my eyes as he walked in circles around me.

"Your leader sent you here." It wasn't a question. "That's how you know my name. He warned you about me, didn't he?"

His eyes narrowed in suspicion as he stalked past me, out of my line of sight. I wanted to turn, shift my body somehow to keep my eye on him, but it was impossible.

"You are no fighter, Edward. You shouldn't have been sent to face me. It's a suicide mission." I heard him say.

"Suicide mission?" That phrase caught my attention. "No one sent me here. I was just passing through," I argued with all the strength I had.

"What?" he roared, suddenly back in front of me again, wide eyes meeting mine. "Who said anything about suicide?"

"And you question my ability to fight yet you can't seem to kill me," I growled, ignoring his question.

"Who the hell are you?" he questioned me.

"No one. I was just passing through," I repeated and then added, "looking for someone."

"Liar," he yelled. "Tell me before I kill you!"

He had a fist full of my hair, pulling my head up as he cocked his arm back to punch me again. His cold, red eyes bore into me as he spoke in a controlled but deadly tone.

"Last chance, Edward. If I don't get the truth, I won't even let you stand before I kill you."

_Let me stand? _My mind worked fast, taking in his words to get their full meaning.

"You did this to me," I asked angrily. "Controlling me like a puppet?"

"Answer me," he seethed, ignoring me this time. "Who are you? Who sent you here?"

Over the years, Carlisle had taught me to defend myself, but it was all useless now. I couldn't move a muscle. He controlled my body at will and he was deadly. The fury burning in his eyes was enough to show me how lethal he truly was and, for the first time in my life, I was afraid of another man.

_That's right, Edward. You better be afraid._

"I'm not afraid." I tried for conviction but my words just sounded weak.

His fist dropped as his fury gave way to confusion. "You can hear me?"

"Yes, I can hear every word whether you speak or not." I was honest with him, hoping to get my own answers. "How can you control me like this?"

My head fell back to the ground as he let me go. He hovered over me now.

"He sent you here to invade my mind…learn my tactics, my strategies…my secrets."

"No one sent me. I don't know who you are and I know nothing of your territory," I told him again. "As I've said, I was looking for someone…a girl."

"You put your life on the line for a girl?" he said contemptuously. "I was right…you're no fighter."

He stood, grabbed the back of my shirt and dragged me to lean against a tree.

"You can pretend to be, using whatever mind games you want to play but when it comes down to it, you're nothing. Hardly a waste of my time."

He dropped to one knee in front of me, his evil eyes boring into mine.

"You're pathetic. Chasing after a girl like a dog. You're not even worth getting my hands dirty."

His insults filled me with anger and I wanted to rip him apart.

"Angry, Edward? Good, but you should be angry with yourself. You're going to spend your pitiful existence chasing a girl who _obviously_ doesn't want anything to do with you.

"You're soft, Edward. You're worthless…nothing…an easy target. And I'm warning you now…leave my territory, leave the south and don't come back."

He stood and backed away from me.

"I see your face again and I won't think twice to tear you apart. You _will_ die."

He moved to the trees to my left and kicked Victoria's head toward her body.

"Take care of your own mess and get out of my woods." With that he was gone.

Sunlight broke through the trees before I was able to move again. I dealt with Victoria's body and left the area, heading west again. Heading towards Bella. She was out there. I knew she was. I could still feel that pull and used it as a guide as I ran.

Fifteen minutes after I left those woods, a new ache hit me and I stumbled and fell. Rolling to a stop, I lay on my back, gasping for air as an emptiness I'd never felt before settled in my chest. My hand covered my ribs, pushing and applying pressure, hoping to gain control.

Once I had settled the ache, I struggled to my feet and moved sluggishly west again, only this time it was different.

This time the pull was gone.

Bella was gone.

I'd lost her.

* * *

><p><strong>Aww Jasper, why did you do it? Edward was just trying to find his girl<strong>**. Now, because he was delayed, he lost her again. But don't lose hope, Edward's not giving up, he will move heaven and earth to find Bella. **

**As most authors have done, I feel the need to assure you that my stories are not going anywhere. Should there be a case where one is deleted, I also have an account on TWCS and AO3 with the same name. Come find me there if there's a story that you love that is no longer available to you here. But, considering the fact that 99% of my stories could easily have a T rating right now, there should be nothing to worry about. If you have any questions, please PM me and I'll help any way I can.**

**To everyone reading this little story of mine, your love and support is always appreciated. You're the reason I keep writing and I love each and every one of you. Big hugs and kisses to everyone. You are all the best. Until next time…much love to you all – D**


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story. **

**Many thanks to my amazing team. I couldn't do this without you: ellachanted, Kate22689 and AgoodWITCH Love ya tons, ladies. **

**A/N: Just a quick note before we get started. I have brought Edward and Bella's timelines back in sync again. Also, many of you have asked for dates as the chapters jump back and forth, so here you go. This chapter will start in November 1930 where Bella's last chapter finished and end June 20, 1933. **

**Now, let's see what Bella's been up to, shall we.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 23<strong>

**BPOV**

Empty

Numb

Hollow

Everything in me…dead.

Every emotion I'd held on to…gone.

Garrett was gone. Those beasts killed him, ripped him apart like he was nothing. And now they lie in wait…for me. Watching and waiting for me to make a move as I tread water and watched the fire burn.

I couldn't leave him. He was my creator, my companion, my friend, and I wouldn't leave him until the fire died and I could take him with me. There may be nothing left, but I refused to leave even his ashes behind for those beasts to desecrate when the flames were gone.

If they killed me too, so be it. I had no reason to live anymore. Garrett gave me a new life when my days were so dark that I wanted my life to end. He showed me how to live again, how to have fun again and, if I would have allowed it, he could have showed me how to love again.

A growl sounded in the trees as the dying fire drew me closer to the beach. I had one goal in mind...take what was left of him with me. Carry his remains to the ocean he loved and leave this place while I plot my revenge against his murderers.

The deafening growls ripped through the air as my foot touched the soft sand of the beach. I didn't care. They could attack me, end my useless life if that was their desire but whether by fire or water, I would leave this beach with Garrett.

Two more steps brought the grey wolf to the edge of the trees, teeth bared as it growled.

One more step and the black wolf appeared with its nose low to the ground, ready to lunge at me.

"This will be your only warning," a rough voice called from the trees between the two massive wolves, "leave here now and we let you live."

"And leave his remains with you," I growled back. "You'll have to kill me first."

One more step brought a rugged looking, dark skinned man out of the trees to stand at the edge of the beach.

"Do not test my generosity," he roared.

Another step brought me to the blackened ashes lying on the sand. A pain clenched my chest as I looked down quickly before focusing a deadly gaze back on the man.

"Kill me." The words came through clenched teeth as I slowly kneeled. "I beg you."

The two beasts moved forward quickly, only to have their advance halted by the man between them. He looked confused but I didn't give him another thought. He had a choice, kill me or let me go, his decision meant nothing to me.

Not caring about the man's eyes on me, I removed my shirt, ripped the seams and laid the fabric on the sand. As I scooped up the ashes in front of me, I heard a low growl.

"Patience, my brother." The man's voice was soft.

A quick glance in his direction found him staring at me with curiosity as I finished gathering Garrett's remains. I tied the ends of my shirt together before standing. The two wolves growled again but the man put a hand up, silencing them.

My eyes met his again as I backed away, only this time I didn't head to the water.

Before they could move, I turned and began scaling the cliff wall. Even one handed I moved fast enough to be out of their range as the two wolves jumped at me, trying to bring me down.

Within seconds, I reached the top of the cliff and, with a glance over the edge, I noticed the wolves had left the beach. They were coming for me so I ran, keeping the ocean on my left.

I ran out of room to run quickly as I reached the edge of the rocks. I dropped to my knees, clutching the shirt filled with Garrett's remains to my chest. I wanted to cry for my friend but the emptiness was too much to overcome. Instead, I did the one thing I hadn't done since I'd left home all those years ago.

I prayed.

I prayed for his life and his redemption, hoping to win favor in God's eyes for him after everything he'd done for me.

Growls and heavy paws pounding the earth filled the air, drawing me from my prayer as the wolves came closer. I couldn't understand how they'd caught me so quickly. They weren't natural. I had to get away.

Jumping to my feet, I held my shirt a little tighter and looked to the sky. "Until we meet again, old friend…goodbye."

I took several steps backward before I heard the snapping of branches behind me. They were close.

Running forward, I launched myself into the air and returned to the ocean.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Instinct ruled my life as I wandered through the forested areas of the north. I fed when I needed and did so without care. If someone saw me, one more body wouldn't matter. They meant nothing to me. No one meant anything to me anymore.

I lived carelessly, making my way from town to town hoping and praying that my actions would enrage the Italians and they would send someone to find me and end everything. I would have searched them out myself, but after I released him and said goodbye to Garrett, I couldn't force myself back into the water. They would have to come for me.

Time ceased to exist for me. Days, months, years all melted together and every town, every city began to look the same. Every man was the same…confident, arrogant and, eventually, terrified before I took them. Garrett taught me well and I could sense it so easily now; the depravity, the evil that filled men before they committed whatever malicious act they had planned before I took them.

I was stalking such a man when I smelled it. The lure of fresh blood in the air was so strong that my prey was lost as instinct pulled me in the opposite direction. Using the rooftops, I flew like a ghost over the town to find the deliciously alluring scent.

Jumping to the next building, my body stilled when the force of the scent hit me. It was close. Taking a deep breath, I walked at human speed to the edge of the building.

And that's when I saw it.

The body was lying in the middle of the street, blood seeping onto the concrete.

I jumped from the building, landing within feet of her. It wasn't until I kneeled beside the woman that I heard her faint cries. With my hearing, they should have been noticeable sooner but they were so weak, I knew the woman was close to death.

I was thirsty and she was fading quickly, so I leaned down, ready to take the life draining from her body. A fraction of a second before my lips touched her neck, Garrett's voice boomed in my head.

_Never kill a woman, Bella._

I pulled back quickly as my conscience fought against killing her.

We never killed an innocent woman. It was the hardest lesson to learn and, though I'd tried many times, he was always there to stop me. He wouldn't let me do it then and even though he'd been gone for so long, his voice still stopped me.

Looking down at the woman – well…just a girl, really – I could see it so clearly in her eyes. Even without words, she was pleading with me to do it. She wanted death to take her. She may have been innocent, but she didn't deserve to suffer.

Her eyes followed me as I leaned in again but before I could get close enough, I heard footsteps. Someone was coming. I wanted to steal her away, take her somewhere I could feed in peace but the footsteps were too close, and they were coming fast…faster than any human could run.

Another vampire smelled her blood and they would follow me if I took her. With the threat getting closer and Garrett's words in my head, I pulled away from the girl again.

"I'm sorry," I whispered as I pushed her blood-soaked hair away from her face to stroke her cheek before I ran, leaving her behind me.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

I'd put three cities between the dying girl and myself before I finally stopped running. If I hadn't, I would have turned back. I would have done the one thing I'd sworn to Garrett I wouldn't do. Now that he was gone, going back on that promise would dishonor him and that was something I would never do.

But I was still thirsty and needed to feed, so I found the nearest hole where _my_ type of men flocked to, to drink. With the way their eyes clung to my body when I walked in, I could have had my pick. It was going to be interesting to see which one of them took the bait.

It took less time than I thought it would before the seat next to me was filled with the overly friendly man sitting down and offering to buy me a drink. When I refused, he pleaded. When I refused again, he became insistent. After my third refusal, he became forceful and with that, I knew he was mine.

I pushed his hand away when he reached for me and I stood to leave. He stayed in his seat, watching me walk away. With a move that I'd used so many times before, I glanced over my shoulder and blew the man a kiss before walking out the door.

I hadn't even made it half a block before I heard his voice behind me, telling me to wait. I let him get close enough to touch and I heard his blood rushing through his veins. The thrill of the chase excited him and when he grabbed my arm and pulled me into the alley off the street, I could see it in his eyes.

"You shouldn't tease me like that." His voice was meant to be threatening as he pushed me against the wall.

Holding onto my laughter, I offered the right amount of fear so he believed he had the upper hand.

"I'm going to have to teach you a lesson, little girl."

His hand reached down, pulling the front of my shirt free from my pants. I fought against him just enough to break free and ran deeper into the alley. It was dark but there was just enough light for him to see where I'd gone.

Pretending there was nowhere else to run, I turned to face him again. I held up my hands in surrender as he stalked closer.

"No, p-please," I added the tremor in my voice for effect, "don't hurt me. I'll do anything, please."

"You're damn right you will."

I watched his arm pull back and knew what to expect. Feeling the displacement of the air as his hand got closer, I used a move Garrett taught me and turned my head just enough before his hand fully connected with my cheek and then moved with his momentum as he followed through, making him believe he'd slapped me.

My hand covered my cheek as I looked up at him through my hair. He towered above me with one hand holding my wrist as the other grabbed a handful of my hair, pulling me to stand.

"I'm going to teach you how to treat a man right."

His hand fumbled with my pants and I struggled against him again. He moved to slap me once more, only this time I let him hit me. His scream echoed in the alley as he jumped back, cradling his broken hand.

"My turn," I whispered just before I grabbed him, slamming him against the wall as he'd done with me.

"I think you have a thing or two to learn about how to treat a lady."

His eyes grew wide as I smiled at him.

"You gonna teach me, little girl?" The words came through clenched teeth.

Running a hand up his chest to his neck, I stopped for just a second, feeling the rush of blood under my fingertips before moving to his cheek.

"No."

My eyes closed as I took a deep breath, taking in his scent. Opening them again, I caught and held his eyes as I spoke.

"You won't live long enough for that."

His eyes widened further as my fingers covered his lips and jerked his head to the side. Sinking my teeth into his neck, the rush of blood was as exhilarating as ever flowing down my throat. After pulling the last of his blood into me, I dropped him and walked away.

The sun was rising as I reached the end of town and I slipped into the woods, finding a high tree to rest in. The night had been draining, stirring up old memories and emotions that I had buried for years.

Hearing Garrett's voice in my head came as a shock to me. It had happened so often in the beginning, torturing me with what I'd lost. But I had closed myself off, refusing to even think about him and my mind was my own after that.

If I hadn't found that girl I wouldn't have heard it and now that I had, all my memories of him rushed to the forefront of my mind. Every moment with him played back with perfect clarity.

Every moment.

Including his last.

My fingers ran over the jade pendant he'd given me before we'd left Japan as I remembered him holding me in his arms. He'd carried me away from the wolves. He'd protected me with his life just as he had always promised he would. Now, as I allowed myself to fully remember that day, I recalled the final gift he'd given me before he kissed me and threw me to safety.

'_I didn't kill them all, Bella.'_

'_The women. I didn't kill them.'_

I hadn't allowed myself to think of my lost family in more than ten years and I'd wasted the past two and a half years since Garrett's death blocking his words from my mind. Remembering them now, I began to wonder if Miss Emma and Lizzy had really survived all these years.

_I can return to the city and try to find them again. I can see for myself if they're okay. If they're happy._

With the first sense of purpose I'd had in years, I jumped from the tree and started my journey back to Chicago.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

The city had grown since I'd left nearly fourteen years ago. As I wandered the streets the four of us used to run through, nothing looked the same. It was as if the Chicago of the 1920's didn't exist. The streets were dirtier than they had been back then, there were no more burned out buildings but there were more vacant, rundown buildings than there were occupied homes. It wasn't the city I had remembered at all.

Murky memories filled my head as I walked the empty streets. I wished I could see them clearly as the faces of my old friends – my family – passed through my mind. I remembered some of the things we did, some of the places we'd been and it reminded me how much I truly missed them.

Not realizing where I was walking, I froze the second I recognized the alley I was standing in. It was dark, but I was able to see everything so clearly. As I stood in the blackness, the horrific memory forced its way into my thoughts.

Johnny yelling.

The gunshot.

Jack's lifeless body in my arms.

I dropped to my knees in nearly the same spot we were in that night. I remembered holding on to him so tight, wishing with everything I had for him to come back to me. It killed me when they pulled him from my arms and I could barely breathe as we ran away and left him behind.

"I miss you, Jack," I whispered, touching my fingers to my lips and pressing them to the ground where I'd lost him.

Leaving Jack and the memories behind me once more, I left the alley and made my way to the place where the diner once stood. I had no idea where to look for Miss Emma or Lizzy and that seemed to be the best place to start.

As I rounded the corner, I stopped dead in my tracks as I saw the bright yellow awning. After the fire, I'd expected it to be lost forever. But there it was, in the same place it stood when I first arrived in the city.

Peeking through the window, everything still looked as it did when I first walked through the door. If it weren't for the slightly newer furniture and pictures adorning the walls, it would look as if the fire never happened. Though it all looked the same, I began to wonder if Miss Emma even owned the place anymore. And if she didn't, would the new owner know where to find her.

My fears were quickly put to rest as I heard a faint humming, rattling keys and the slam of a door. A split second later, the kitchen light flickered on, casting a soft glow over the dining room. I pulled out my old pocket watch and smiled – three forty-five. She was right on time, as always.

Not wanting to be too conspicuous staring into the window, I rushed to the back, scaled the wall and found a resting place on the roof as I listened to her go about her business. The sounds of her humming while she banged around the kitchen were calming as they brought back memories of their own. I couldn't believe how much I had forced myself forget.

A pain rolled through my chest as I thought about all the time I'd lost with her _and_ with Lizzy. But, then again, I'd believed all these years that they were dead, that Garrett had killed them. And he had allowed me believe it.

As I lay on the rooftop of the diner, listening to Miss Emma prepare for her day, I realized why he had done it. Why he'd never told me the truth. Why he'd kept his secret for years. He had known all along that I would come back here if I knew the truth. He had also known, as hard as it was to control my thirst in those first several years, I would have never been able to handle myself with them and I probably would have killed them.

I had treated him so horribly for years because I'd thought he'd murdered my entire family. I had tried to kill to him so many times and he had never said a word. He could have told me, knowing that I would leave and run straight back here, but he didn't. He had kept his secret and endured the punishment I had inflicted on him so he could protect them, which also protected me.

"I never knew you at all, did I, Garrett?" I spoke to the heavens. "I wish you were here. I wish you could hear me say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything."

The stars blurred as my eyes pooled with venomous tears. I owed Garrett so much but now, lying on this rooftop, I owed him three words I'd never spoken before.

"And I forgive you. You did everything for me and I rarely said thank you. But I know now, everything you did was always to keep me happy and protected and safe." I held the pendant at the base of my neck. "I love you, dear friend, and I will keep you in my heart…always."

I lay there for another hour just listening, remembering my days with her. As the sun began to rise, my eyes took in the cloudless sky and knew I needed to get out of sight. Unfortunately, the need to stay hidden today ruined my plans to find Lizzy, but I had all the time in the world to find her and I wouldn't stop until I did.

After a whispered goodbye to Miss Emma, I ran through the alleys quickly to find the nearest empty building to spend my day in.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

I was beginning to think Garrett had been wrong and Lizzy hadn't survived after all.

Since I'd first set foot in the city in late April, I'd searched every street, alley and home, but there was no sign of her anywhere. I'd searched neighboring cities and towns and still nothing. My hope was dwindling, but I knew she had to be out there somewhere. If I just kept looking…

A ringing telephone halted my thoughts and I listened as Miss Emma answered.

"Em's Place."

I'd heard her use the simple greeting so many times as I laid on the rooftop. It was my favorite place to be in the city when I wasn't out searching for Lizzy. Miss Emma's presence calmed me and I found myself wanting to remain near her when my frustrations ran high.

"Sweetheart," her voice brought me back to her conversation again, "how are you? I've missed you so much."

She was more excited than I'd heard her in two months. I tried to hear the voice on the other end but I heard more static than anything. Even with my hearing, I was stuck listening to a one-sided conversation.

"Yes… Yes… Everything is ready… No, no, I promised you I wouldn't. The diner will be locked up tight tomorrow… I know. I can't wait to see you either." She paused for several minutes and I assumed she was listening to the person on the phone speak. "I will… I'll see you at noon… And, Sweetheart, give Johnny a big hug and kiss from me… I'll see you soon. Goodbye."

"Lizzy." I sat straight up.

Miss Emma's words caught me off guard. Not all her words, just one…Johnny.

I remembered everything. Lizzy loved Johnny so much and when he'd died, if she lived, she would have been devastated. Like me, she would have lost everyone and he would have been the worst.

It didn't make sense, though. In every memory I'd had, I saw Johnny die. Could I have been wrong?

Could Miss Emma really be talking about him? Was he still alive, too?

I needed answers. I needed to know how much I'd missed.

For the first time since I'd come back, I followed Miss Emma home when she left the diner. It wasn't far, a short bus ride to a quaint neighborhood and a short walk to a small, white two-story house outside the city.

Once she was safely inside, I rushed to the window and watched her as she went about the rest of her night. Food filled her kitchen and she pushed things aside to add more before she moved to the dining room table to frost the dozens of cupcakes sitting in front of her.

She was having a party tomorrow and I wasn't going to miss it. After all these years, I would finally get to see Lizzy and Johnny again.

Just like I did when she was working, I found a place in the nearest tree and listened to Miss Emma as she whistled her way through her night. After a few hours, she retired to bed, falling asleep quickly.

I found a place in a tree across the street and spent my night searching my cloudy memories for everything I could remember about our past together. I smiled as I remembered the four of us running through the streets without a care in the world. We were so happy together until the day Jack was taken from us. Tension filled our remaining few days together until Garrett took me away. And now, to find out that Lizzy _and_ Johnny both survived that day to have the happy ending they deserved gave me the first real sense of happiness I'd had since Garrett died.

For the first time in years, I didn't push the feeling away. Closing my eyes, I allowed it to envelop me as I wrapped my arms around my chest, relishing in the happiness the thought of them together brought me.

My eyes didn't open again until the sun's rays snaked their way through the leaves. I had been lost in my thoughts and didn't realize how much time had passed. Unfortunately, the blazing sun imprisoned me in my hiding spot, hopefully some clouds would roll in later so I could get a closer look during the party.

Hours passed and I watched as a car finally turned onto the street and rolled to a stop in front of Miss Emma's house. The leaves rustled as I jumped to a crouch, waiting to see who it was.

"Just wait a minute." I recognized Lizzy's voice instantly. "Help me get everything out of the car."

"Do I have to?" a voice complained, but it wasn't Johnny's.

The car door slammed as Lizzy walked to the back of the car. She looked so good, so grown up and I closed my eyes as the venom pooled behind my lids. I had missed her so much.

The tiny creak of a door brought me back to the scene as I watched Miss Emma step onto the porch.

"Gramma." The voice came from inside the car.

_Gramma?_

"Boy, get your butt out of that car and help your momma," Miss Emma yelled before I had a chance to think.

_Momma?_

I couldn't believe what I'd just heard. Then my eyes widened as I saw the child step out of the car. It wasn't Johnny, but he was a mirror image of my old friend.

"Yes ma'am," the boy complained as he rounded the back of the car.

I watched him take a bag from Lizzy. "Sorry, Mom."

She kissed his forehead before rustling his hair. "Just because it's your birthday party, it doesn't mean you don't have to help."

"My birthday is April twentieth, remember? Not June twentieth. And besides, I'm too old for parties with cupcakes," he whined. "Cupcakes are for babies."

My insides clenched as he said those words. Today was June twentieth. Today was Edward's birthday and, up until the day he died, he was never too old for cupcakes. There was always a smile and a hug, sometimes even a kiss, when I'd give him one. It always made him happy.

Over the years, I had forgotten many things about my human life, but _that _I remembered. Edward's smile was unforgettable.

"Thirteen is hardly too old." Lizzy's voice refocused my eyes on the scene before me. "Now carry this inside."

She handed him a bag just before he stomped into the house. Miss Emma walked to the side of the car.

"Sounds like you have your hands full." I heard the amusement in her voice.

"I don't know what to do, Mom."

_Mom?_ The word caught me by surprise.

"From the day he turned thirteen, he hasn't acted like my little boy anymore. He's stubborn and temperamental and he acts like he's too grown up for everything." Lizzy hung her head. "He reminds me of myself when I was his age and you know what happened to me."

"Sweetheart, that was different." Miss Emma pulled her into a hug. "Your parents didn't care what happened to you," she pulled back and grabbed Lizzy's hands, "and you did what you had to do to get away from them. Johnny knows you love him and you would do anything for him but he is also a teenage boy..."

"And he's just like his daddy," Lizzy interrupted with a shaky laugh.

"Lizzy, honey," her tone changed, holding more tension than before, "don't you think it's time…"

"Please don't." Lizzy pulled away and slammed the trunk closed. "I know Johnny's been gone a long time, but I can't replace him, Mom. I just can't."

Miss Emma pulled her into another hug as she ran her hand through her hair.

"I know, Sweetheart. I know." She let her go and leaned against the car. "We both lost so much when Clyde, Johnny and Bella were taken so violently from us."

I gasped as Miss Emma mentioned my name. She included me with Clyde and Johnny as someone they'd both lost, someone that meant something to them even though I was the reason Clyde and Johnny were killed.

"But, Honey, we all have to move on."

"You didn't."

"Oh Lizzy, I didn't need anyone else. I had you and Johnny to keep me happy all these years."

"And that was enough for you?"

"Yes." She had a small smile on her face. "I'm an old woman, Lizzy. I don't need anything more than the two of you. But honey, you're so young. You can't close yourself off to love so early in your life."

"I had love and it nearly killed me to lose him."

"I know, but it didn't."

Lizzy's shoulders slumped and her head fell. "I can't go through that again."

"You won't." Miss Emma put an arm around her shoulders. "Lizzy, you have survived the most horrific thing anyone could go through and you came out so much stronger than before. And you brought the most wonderful little boy into this world. You've found the strength to care for him on your own for so long but, Sweetheart, now you both need someone else in your life to complete your family.

"I know you think caring for someone else would mean that you had to stop loving Johnny but, Sweetheart, that's just not true. Johnny will always be your first love. You'll always have him in your heart but you deserve to be loved, honey, and so does that little boy in there. You have to open yourself up to it and allow someone in."

That pain in my chest stung me again as Miss Emma spoke. Every word could have been directed toward me. Edward was my first love…my only love and when he died, I closed myself off to everyone. Lizzy had told me once that Jack loved me but he never could bring himself to speak the words because of my love for Edward. Garrett told me he loved me but I fought every advance because he wasn't Edward. Now, they're both gone and I was alone. But, unlike Lizzy, I had no choice but to live the rest of my existence that way.

"I don't know if I can," Lizzy said quietly.

"I'm not telling you to go find someone tomorrow." Miss Emma nudged her side and Lizzy giggled. "Just…when it happens don't shy away from it."

Miss Emma pushed away from the car and pulled Lizzy with her.

"But right now, my boy deserves a party."

"You do realize this is a little overboard considering his birthday was two months ago, right." Lizzy laughed as she picked up the final bags.

"You're the one who chose to move away." I could hear the teasing tone she used. "Maybe, if you would bring my grandson around more often, I could have a party for him on his actual birthday."

"Yes, Mom." Lizzy kissed her cheek. "Let's finish setting up before everyone gets here."

Lizzy and Miss Emma walked into the house laughing together as mother and daughter. Somehow, after losing everything, they had leaned on each other to create a full life together. I told myself that it was what I wanted for them. That they deserved to be happy after they'd lost so much but, as the pain grew in my chest, I couldn't stop myself from hating them a little.

I knew it was wrong but as I listened to the three of them talking, laughing and happily going about their day as a family, my thoughts drifted to Edward and how my family was ripped away from me when he died.

I could have had a husband and children. I could have had the perfect life. He had promised me the world but left me with nothing. I had no family, no real future and I hated Edward for it. I hated him for leaving me.

I hated him for this life...no this _existence_ I was forced to live because if I hadn't run from his memory, Garrett would have never found me. He would have never changed me into this…this thing and maybe I could have had a normal life one day like Lizzy.

The boiling anger and hatred I was feeling caused the burn in my throat to worsen. I hadn't fed in weeks and I needed to get away before I did something I would regret. With the sun still blazing in the sky, I was trapped in my hiding place, forced to listen to a houseful of happy people below me.

With no escape in sight, I closed my eyes and retreated into my own mind, remembering the last time I was truly happy.

My fingers caressed the beautiful jade birds Garrett had given me as he held me in his arms on the beach in Japan. His tight embrace was comforting, his soft caress was soothing and every kiss was so full of love and tenderness. He loved me and that night he had tried to show me how much, but I was still too broken to truly accept it.

I wished Miss Emma had been around then to give me the same advice she'd given Lizzy. It could have changed so much. I could have opened myself up to him and given Garrett a chance, but now it was too late. He was gone and I'd wasted so many years with him feeling angry and hurt, and mourning the loss of a man I would never see again rather than taking the love of the man right in front of me.

Before my thoughts could take me any farther, I noticed the change in the light and opened my eyes. The sun had finally set and, with one last look toward the house, I said a quiet goodbye to Miss Emma and Lizzy before I ran back to the city.

Until now, I'd always found my prey outside of the city, a different town every time. But tonight, as I walked the Chicago streets, I knew exactly where I would go. I'd watched the men going in and out of the dingy little building for months and I knew it would be easy to find the perfect one for me.

The fire in my throat burned out of control as I walked into the place and inhaled deeply. I could have taken every last one of them in less than five minutes, but I knew I had to be careful. One at a time as Garrett would always say. With another deep breath, I took a seat.

I had been approached by several men and, one after the other, they each took their rejections and walked away. They were the good ones, not the one I was waiting for.

The man I wanted was in the corner of the room. I knew his intentions just by the way he was watching me. I'd seen it so many times now and I knew a single look would bring him to me. I picked up the glass in front of me, touched just the tip of my tongue to the rim and pretended to take a drink all while holding his eyes with mine. His smile told me he'd received the message.

It didn't take long for him to make his way over to me and for my game to begin. Just like all the others, he followed me when I left, calling for me to turn around. I ignored him, of course, frantically looking around for a place to run and ending up in the dead end alley where we could play.

This man didn't disappoint me and he was more aggressive than most of the others. Anger and adrenaline always made the blood sweeter and as I escaped his grip a few times, his body was coursing with it. I took a deep breath to draw in his scent and nearly choked.

There was another vampire close by. The scent was so strong.

I forced my attention back to my prey, ready to take him before the other vampire could attack. Opening my mouth, I spoke the words that always made them come to me.

"Please don't hurt me. I'll do anything you want."

A sinister grin crossed the man's face just as I heard a low growl above me and I readied myself to kill them both.

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><p><strong>Damn, poor Bella. Her meals keep getting interrupted by other vampires. At least she's not running away this time. She's ready to kill this one.<strong>

**As always, thank you so much to every new reader that's hit the alert and favorite button. It means a lot to me that you're reading this little story. For all of you who've been with me all along, thanks again for giving Edward and Bella the love you do. Big hugs to everyone. You are all the best. Until next time…much love to you all – D**


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story. **

**Many thanks to my amazing team. I couldn't do this without you: ellachanted, Kate22689 and AgoodWITCH Love ya tons, ladies. **

**A/N: Just so you know, this chapter begins on June 17****th**** and ends late in the evening on June 20****th****. Now, let's see how Edward's search is going, shall we.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 24<strong>

**EPOV**

Her trail had gone cold again. It'd been nearly three years and I'd found and lost her more times than I cared to count. She was like a ghost, appearing one day and vanishing the next, and no matter what I did I couldn't track her.

I'd seen brief glimpses of her in the minds of strangers as I'd asked questions about her. None truly believing they'd laid eyes on her, but there was always a doubt and a short flash of memory that confirmed it for me. It was those brief visions of her beautiful face that allowed me to go on one more day. I knew I would find her. It was a matter of time. And time was the only thing I had on my side.

With no clear path to follow, it was time to regroup, to sit down and analyze where I'd been and where I could possibly go from here. There was still so much of the country I hadn't searched and I needed a clear path to follow if I was going to find my Bella.

The timing of my decision couldn't have been more perfect as my birthday was only a few days away. I would head home and plot my path for the coming year while I waited for the letters from my father and mother to arrive.

My trip home took two days and when I arrived, I checked in on Bella's family as I always did before settling in. Hearing their thoughts as I approached the house, they seemed more content this year than they had in the past. I hoped with everything in me that Bella had found it in her heart to contact them and finally let them know she was safe. But as I peeked through the back window, I knew that wasn't the case.

The papers and maps that had filled their dining room table for the past six years were gone. The house looked empty but I could hear them inside, shuffling around and speaking in soft voices. It wasn't until I heard a cough and Mrs. Swan's concerned voice that I realized something was very wrong.

I rushed to the side of the house where the voices came from to get a better view. Unfortunately, the curtains were drawn so I could only hear their conversation.

"Are you comfortable, Darling? Do you need water? Another blanket?" It may have been imperceptible to another, but I heard the quiver in her voice as Mrs. Swan spoke to her husband.

"No, Sweetheart, I'm..." a few more coughs broke off his sentence. Once his breathing returned to normal, he continued. "Please do not worry about me. I'm fine, just tired."

I heard him attempt a laugh, but listening to Renee's thoughts told me that no matter what he did or said to placate her, she was still worried for her husband.

"Besides," he choked out, "the doctor said it isn't my time. Not quite yet."

I heard her deep sigh and then a soft kiss exchanged between them.

"Are you sure there isn't anything I can do?" Mrs. Swan's voice was laced with concern.

"Just lay here with me, Sweetheart, while I fall asleep." His voice was weak as he made his request.

Hearing the rustling of blankets, I knew Renee had given Charlie what he asked for.

"Goodnight, my love," she whispered and as they shared another soft kiss, I heard her soft prayer. _'Please, God, do not take him from me. I beg you, please, just one more day.'_

Mr. Swan whispered his own goodnight just before the light turned off.

Leaving them to their privacy, I hurried to enter my own house and went straight to my parents' room. Making sure the dark curtains were drawn, I lit the candles and stood in front of the tables that held the maps I'd used to track everywhere I'd been over the years.

I quickly added all the places I'd been throughout the year and immediately began planning for the coming year. With her father obviously gravely ill, finding Bella was more important now than it had ever been. It wasn't just for me anymore. She needed to see her family – her father – before it was too late.

A soft knock broke my concentration. "Delivery for Mr. Edward Cullen."

It was the same voice that had called my name for the past six years. Whoever he was, Carlisle must have trusted him to give him this task year after year. The thought of my father had me rushing down the stairs to retrieve my package. Seeing no one as I peered out the window, I opened the door quickly and closed it again after I had my box in hand.

As it did every year since the first, the box contained two letters – one from Carlisle and one from Esme – and two bound bundles of money. Carlisle always sent me something to keep me going for another year and he'd sent the extra bundle to help Bella's parents so they never had to worry while they searched for her. I never expected it to continue after my first request but Esme always insisted upon taking care of Bella's family as they were all so important to me.

Setting the money aside, I took Carlisle's letter out of the box first, always anxious to read his words. His letter was quite a bit shorter than it had been in years past, but I thought nothing of it. That was until I unfolded the single page and my heart clenched as I read the first sentence.

_June 17, 1933_

_Dear Edward,_

_It is with a heavy heart that I write this letter to you. Before I begin, please know your mother and I are well and still wishing for the day you return home to us. But, Son, I must tell you, our home has changed a bit since my last letter._

Thankfully I hadn't jumped to conclusions before I read the second line. Though I knew something was wrong by the tone of his first words, as long as my mother and father were safe, that was all I cared about and I continued reading.

_Due to unforeseen circumstances, we were forced to leave Rochester behind and start a new life. We've taken up residence in a sparsely populated town near the Appalachian Mountains. Now, you know how much I dislike living so far south but I've put my personal feelings aside to protect our family._

What does he mean 'protect our family?' The last time we'd had to hide away in a secluded area, Esme was still a newborn and a little uncontrollable. His words hit me fully and I knew what 'unforeseen circumstances' meant.

"No, Carlisle. You didn't," I responded to the letter as if my father could hear me.

_You've always been brilliant, my Son, so I'm sure you've realized the reason behind our abrupt move. I am truly sorry to say that we have added a new member to our family. _

_You must believe me; I never wanted to change another, not after Esme. But you only had to be near Rosalie Hale to know that she did not deserve what happened to her. She was brutalized and left to die in the streets._

_The scent of her blood was so strong, it called me to her and when I saw her laying there, my heart broke for her. A girl like her should have had the world at her feet and I couldn't let some monster tear that away from her. I helped her the only way I could, only now she hates me for it._

_She is extremely angry and has tendency to destroy the things around her when her temper is beyond her control. Thankfully, aside from a small incident before we left Rochester, she has no desire to take a human life. I can, however, feel her disdain every time it is necessary to hunt._

_She resents me for forcing this life upon her and I cannot blame her for that. I just wish I could help her now. Find a way to take some of the anger from her heart, but she refuses to allow me to speak to her long enough to try. Esme has been able to connect with her in a way I cannot and it has helped, though not enough. _

_I wish you were here, Son. Your ability to hear her could make a tremendous difference in understanding and, hopefully one day, helping her. Calming her to a point where she is not such a danger to everyone and everything around her._

_I do not wish to make excuses for what I've done but if you could have seen her as a human, known the fire and zest for life she had, you would understand why I couldn't leave her to die that way. Now, as one of us, she is amazing and I honestly can't wait until you meet her. I believe the two of you would get along remarkably well._

_Well, other than the news of our growing family, I have nothing else to share. Do keep in touch, my Son. Your mother and I miss you so much and cannot wait for you to return to us._

_Take great care, Edward, and come back to us soon._

_Carlisle_

Knowing my father as I did, I knew he would never have made a decision like that lightly and after reading his letter, I understood why he'd done it. Carlisle was never one to walk past a sick person without helping them. I knew there was no way he would have let any girl die so cruelly, not when he was able to offer her another way.

Unfortunately, she didn't feel the same way about living this life as we did and her anger was making her reckless. Reading Carlisle's description of her behavior, I was tempted to run straight home to help them with her, but I couldn't, not until I had Bella in my arms again. Not until I could bring her home to see her father.

Pushing my thoughts of Bella aside, I opened Esme's letter, which had quite a different feel than Carlisle's. She was so happy to have Rosalie with them. It had only been a couple of months, but she already felt a strong connection to her and loved her like a daughter.

I couldn't hold back my smile when she made a point to tell me that in no way did Rosalie replace me in her heart, that I would always be her first son. Esme was an amazing woman and had so much love to share. It was no wonder she felt the way she did and I knew this girl, Rosalie, would receive every bit of that love now that she was part of the family.

Esme went on to tell me how beautiful Rosalie was, describing her in great detail, telling me how much I would love her if I were home to meet her. I sighed, knowing what she was trying to do. Esme always hated the fact that I was alone. She wanted me to find a love like she had with Carlisle. What she didn't understand was that I already had it and no matter who she tried to put in my path, Bella was and always would be my one true love.

I just had to find her and remind her of that. She had to know that whoever that other man was, he was not her mate. She was mine. She belonged with me.

After finishing Esme's letter, I wrote my response to each of them and, as I had every year since I'd been gone, told them how much I loved and missed them, but I wouldn't be coming home again this year. I told them I wasn't ready yet, that I still wasn't willing to return to their way of life when there was still so much out here for me.

As I sealed each letter, I felt a weight rest upon my heart. I hated lying to them, making them believe after all my years with Carlisle, after everything he'd taught me, that I could change so drastically. He valued human life above everything and his values were so ingrained in me that I would never consider taking a human life.

Unfortunately, they had to believe it. If they didn't, Esme wouldn't stop until she found me again and I couldn't let that happen. Not because I didn't want to be with them, but I just wasn't ready to tell them about Bella yet.

I had told them in my first letter back in 1928 that Bella had run away and I had every intention of searching for her. Since then, they'd only asked about her twice but I was sure it was my bleak answers to their questions that prevented them from asking again. They knew I would tell them if I had found her.

Only I couldn't. What I had found was certainly not what I'd expected.

I had hoped to find _my_ Bella, the beautiful, kind, wonderfully sweet girl I had left behind. She would have been older, become a woman, but she would have been what I remembered her to be. But that wasn't who she was.

Although the view may have been slightly tainted by her rage, seeing Bella through Victoria's eyes came as quite a shock. The kindness I'd known all my life had been replaced by hate and anger. The sweetness and sincerity that made Bella who she was had been taken from her and replaced with evil. I had seen it in her eyes as I witnessed Bella standing over James' burning body and when she had threatened to kill Victoria.

Bella wasn't the girl I remembered and as much as it killed me, I couldn't take her home with me when I found her. Carlisle had spent two hundred years building his life and it would be unfair to him and to Bella to try and force her to live that way.

No. I had to keep her with me and try to find the old Bella again. Maybe, if I showed her all the love I still held for her, _my girl _would come back to me. We could finally be together and live the life we'd always dreamed of.

Just as that thought passed through my mind, one of Victoria's old memories that I'd forced myself to never think about settled itself in my head.

Bella in the arms of another man…another vampire. He was caressing her face as she slowly moved her hand into the back of his hair and brought her lips to his ear. When she was done speaking, he had placed a kiss on her cheek just before backing away with a smile on his face.

"He's not her mate!" I yelled as everything on the table in front of me crashed against the far wall.

The anger I'd felt at just the image of the two of them together was more than I'd ever felt in my life. Bella was mine and if I found him anywhere near her, I would tear him apart.

The table was in pieces before I was able to calm myself down. I couldn't act like this. It had been hard enough to track Bella's movements when I was thinking straight, letting my anger get away from me wouldn't help me.

Taking a few deep, calming breaths, I relit the candles, grabbed the map from the other side of the room and spread it on the floor. I went back to my planning, checking to see if there were any patterns to where she'd been.

As I started packing everything back up again, a sliver of light caught my eye from the top of the curtains. I had been so lost in my thoughts that I hadn't realized how much time went by. Peeking through the curtains, there wasn't a cloud in the sky. I was going to be stuck here all day. Leaving everything in its place, I blew out the candles and went to my room.

Over the years I'd managed to bring in some pieces of furniture for just these occasions. The table – which I destroyed – and chair that I'd set up in my parents' room were only used while I spent my time staring at the map. The bed I'd put in my room, while unnecessary, helped me feel a bit of normalcy while I waited out the sunny days.

My eyes closed the instant my head hit the pillow and I let my mind wander, thinking about what it would be like when I found Bella again. I knew she would be confused at first but after I explained what happened, she would throw her arms around me and kiss me like she used to.

No. It would be better than before. We wouldn't have to follow the rules like we had so long ago. We wouldn't have to sneak around behind her father's back. We wouldn't have to worry about what society believed to be the right way for us to act.

We could finally get married the way we'd planned and then we could run. We could get away from world for a while and just be together. Everything would be so perfect. We could have forever and our lives could be better than we'd ever dreamed they could be.

But only after I got rid of that other man.

He would try to stand in our way. He would try to keep her from me, but I refused to allow him to steal Bella away from me.

I'd learned a lot from Carlisle over the years and I remembered every move Jasper Whitlock used against me. If I had to, I would kill him if he tried to come between us.

I was on my feet, pacing the room as the anger built inside of me. I hated him. He changed my Bella. I knew he did. He stole her innocence. He turned her into a killer. He kept her from me all these years. He was keeping her from me now.

He needed to die.

As I paced the room, I cursed the sun for holding me prisoner here. I needed to find her, which meant finding him – the one whose very existence was an attempt to steal Bella from me. I'd never felt anger like this and I beat my fist against my hand while I paced, sparing the walls of my home.

Finally, after what felt like days, that sliver of light coming through the curtain changed. The sun would be setting and in a matter of minutes, I could leave this place and be back out there searching for her.

I rushed back to my parents' room, gathered my things and glanced at the map one final time. I had to find her. The stakes were too high this time. Bella needed to see her father and I needed her away from _him_. I couldn't fail again.

As the last of the dying light crept away from the house, I closed my eyes and made a silent vow to Charlie and Renee, promising to do whatever I had to, to bring their daughter home to them. With my promise complete, I opened my eyes in time to see the sun drop below the horizon and I flew out the back door, heading for the woods.

The tree line was in sight, but I didn't make it that far before my entire body froze. I gasped as that strange sensation I'd only felt once before spread through me again, only this time it was different.

When I'd felt it before, it was as if I could feel Bella and I coming closer together. It was this draw to her that flowed through my entire body. This time that feeling wasn't drawing me closer to her, it was pulling me back. It was pulling me because I was running in the wrong direction.

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes, relaxed my body and, just like on a hunt, let instinct take over. Turning slowly, I let that feeling guide me, let it lead me in the right direction. The instant I felt the strongest pull, my eyes snapped open and I took off running.

The closer I got to the city, the more cautious I had to be. I could feel that pull strengthening and everything in me told me she was close. My Bella was here somewhere and I wanted nothing more than to tear through the streets until I found her. But I'd lived among humans for far too long to risk something like that. As much as I hated it, I had to move at human speed while I searched.

Every passing second felt like an eternity as I walked through the streets. Finally, I couldn't take it any longer and I rushed to the nearest rooftop. It was the easiest way to move through the city as fast as I wanted without being seen.

As I neared the heart of the city, the pull was almost unbearable and I caught the scent of another vampire in the air. She was here. I knew she was. I stopped, turning in one direction and then another, not knowing which way to go. I could feel her everywhere. It was if she was right on top of me.

"Come on, Sweetheart." A voice broke my concentration. "Slow down. I just want to talk to you."

My head whipped to the right as I listened to a man call to his girl.

"I'm not gonna chase you forever, little girl," he growled and then his tone changed. "Please, just stop and talk to me."

I noticed the change between his thoughts and his words as I realized he'd spoken the last sentence aloud. Just as I recognized the difference, his vile thoughts slammed into me. She wasn't his girl. He was stalking her. He wanted to hurt her.

"I'm done playing with you," he growled again just before I heard a muffled scream.

Rushing to the edge of the building, I witnessed the struggle happening in the alley below me. The girl was fighting back and escaped his grasp. She pushed away the hair that had covered her face as he dragged her into the alley and I gasped as I saw her.

It was Bella. He wanted to hurt my Bella.

"Get back here," the man roared.

I growled as he grabbed her wrist, but she yanked it away. I was about to jump from my perch as he grabbed her shoulders, but she easily slipped through his fingers and ran towards the back of the alley.

_Nowhere to run, little girl._ His thoughts crashed into me as he walked toward her slowly.

She turned when she reached the back wall of the alley and her hands went up in front of her as she spoke. "Please don't hurt me. I'll do anything you want."

I froze at the sound. I'd heard it thousands of times in my mind and in Victoria's memories, but neither did justice to the beautiful voice that I could finally hear in person. Then her words fully hit me and I was confused. Why would she say such a thing? She was a vampire. She shouldn't be afraid. No human could ever hurt her.

_That's right, little girl. Now you're mine._

He began to picture himself ripping her clothes from her body and climbing on top of her as she cried her eyes out while trying to fight against him.

Another growl ripped through me as I jumped, landing between them and blocking her from his view.

"You won't touch her!"

It only took a second to snap his neck and less than that for his lifeless body to hit the ground. I felt the tension leave me the instant he was dead. He wouldn't hurt my Bella or anyone else for that matter ever again.

Bella.

She was here…really here.

My mind brought me back to why I was standing here but before I could turn to see her, my body was slammed to the ground, my arms pinned to my back and a hand gripped my throat.

"You just made a mistake," she whispered in my ear. Her grip on my neck tightened. "I'll kill you for…"

My scream drowned out her words as it echoed off the alley walls when two of her fingers pierced my skin. The pain was like nothing I'd ever felt before and I panicked, fighting against her hold.

"Bel-" I tried to call for her but the pain was too intense.

To my surprise, her grip on my arms loosened.

"What did you say?"

She pulled her hand away from my neck only to twist her fingers into the back of my hair as she drove my head into the ground.

The holes her fingers left in my neck healed quickly and I called her name again.

"Bella, pl-" I choked out.

"Who are you?" She pulled on my hair and smashed my head against the concrete. "How do you know my name?"

Without giving me a chance to speak, she pulled my head up again and wrapped her arm around my neck. Both hands gripped the sides of my head and I knew what she was going to do.

With my arms free, I grabbed her wrists and flipped her off of me. I cringed when she crashed against the alley wall and prayed I didn't hurt her. She shook her head, growled and lunged at me again.

She caught me by the waist, swung me around and threw me into the opposite wall. She was on me before my body hit the ground, relentlessly beating every part of my body she could get her hands on.

"Bella, stop!"

My words didn't stop her as each punch hit harder and faster than before, her growls growing louder with each strike.

"Bella, stop," I repeated, trying to block her attack. "Please, Bella, it's me…Edward."

She hesitated for a fraction of a second, but it was enough as both my fist connected with her stomach and sent her flying backward. It killed me to do it but I had to get her off of me. I lunged at her this time, trapping her body against the wall.

Her head lifted and her eyes grew wide when she looked at me.

"No!"

A kick and a punch hit me at the same time, knocking me off balance as she scrambled away from me.

"No! Edward is dead!"

I recovered quickly and jumped, catching her before she could get away. With a hand on her ankle, I begged her to listen.

"I'm not dead, Angel. I'm here. Please-"

Another kick connected with the side of my head as she twisted herself out of my grasp. She attacked me again, screaming that it wasn't true.

"He's dead!"

Every time her fist crashed into my body it broke a piece of my heart. How could she not see that it was me? That I was really here?

"How dare you? You could never… He'll never… He's gone!"

Her assault stopped long enough for her to grab my arms and throw me across the alley again. My back crashed against the wall but I landed on my feet. Before I could reach for her again, she was halfway to the top of the building.

Now that I'd found her, I wasn't going to let her get away from me. I wouldn't survive if I lost her again. I jumped to the fire escape she'd used to get to the roof and went after her.

When I reached the rooftop, Bella was gone but I was able to follow her scent. Her glorious scent led the way, guiding my every footstep. She couldn't get away from me this time as I followed her on a familiar path towards the woods.

As I hit the tree line, her scent grew stronger and I knew I was close. She may have had a slight head start but with my speed, I was gaining on her and it wouldn't be long before I had her in my arms again.

Five miles into the woods and her scent disappeared. Skidding to a halt, I turned in every direction but there was nothing. Running a mile from the last detectable trace of her didn't help. It was as if she just vanished. I ended my search right where I'd lost her and screamed.

"Bella!"

I listened for anything that gave me a clue to where she'd gone, but I was met with silence.

"Bella!"

Nothing. I fell to my knees, my head in my hands as my heart broke for the last time.

"Bella, please," I choked on the words, "don't leave me again."

My hands moved to my chest as the pain hit me with more force than it ever had and I fought with my last breath to keep from screaming. My body curled in on itself and my eyes filled with tears. The pain suddenly intensified and I couldn't hold it in any longer. The screams ripped from my chest as I sobbed and I was lost to everything around me.

Needing to find a way to handle the pain, I gritted my teeth and dug my fingers into the ground below me. As I lay there trying to hold everything inside me, I heard a scream that didn't belong to me.

My head snapped up and I turned in the direction of the sound. It was my Bella and she was in pain. With a hand still pressed to my chest, I hurried to my feet and ran back the way I'd come. Somehow, she had doubled back and found a way to get behind me while I'd chased her.

With her scent all around me now, I was a little disoriented. I knew she was there but without a clear path, I didn't know which way to turn. So I stopped, cleared my mind and let the pull I'd felt before lead me in the right direction. We were connected, we always had been and if I trusted that, I would find her.

Letting instinct take over again, my body moved before I made the conscious decision to do so and I felt myself getting closer to her as I ran. It wasn't until I felt the pull fighting against me again, pulling me back as it did when I left home that I knew I'd gone too far. Running back again, I didn't get more than a hundred feet before I was knocked to the ground.

"I should kill you now!" Bella growled at me as she pounded on my back.

"Bella, st-"

Her fist slammed into my cheek, cutting off my words.

"You don't get to talk." She hit me again. "You're a liar."

"I'm not, Bella." I cried out as she hit me again.

"Liar!" she snarled.

"Please, Angel."

My back crashed into a tree before I realized she'd stopped punching me. My body fell to the ground and my first impulse was to fight back, but my heart and mind wouldn't let me. I couldn't anger her further. I had to get her to listen.

"Stop!" she yelled as she hovered over me and began a second attack. "You're not."

I tried to lift a hand to touch her but I felt the skin on my forearm crack as she punched it away. I winced at the pain in my arm and then again as she rained punches down on my chest.

"Edward is dead! How could you…?" Heavy emotion made her voice crack. This was hurting her. I had to make her understand.

"Bella, listen."

Her fist cracked my chin.

"Angel, please."

A blow crashed into the side of my head.

"Stop! Stop!" she screamed over and over as she hit me.

"I'm not…" another punch caught my cheek but I couldn't stop. "I'm not dead, Bella."

I grunted as another fist crushed my shoulder.

"You lie." I could see tears filling her eyes. "He's dead." Her punches slowed. "He's dead." I caught her right wrist. "Edward is dead."

Bella was lost to her emotions as she began to sob. Taking what was probably my only chance, I pulled her arm hard enough to bring her down to my chest and wrapped my arms around her to hold her still.

"It's me, Bella. I'm not dead." She struggled but I held on. "Remember me, Angel. Remember our love. Remember everything we shared. Remember everything we were." I held her tighter. "You were my best friend. You were the love of my life." I kissed her hair and her body stilled. "You made me cupcakes. I brought you flowers."

Relief flowed through me as I felt her hand clutch my shirt. She was coming back to me. I brought a hand up to stroke her hair like I used to when we were kids and I couldn't resist kissing her again.

"You were going to marry me, Angel. You were going to be my wife." My voice dropped to a whisper. "You were my whole world and I loved you…so much."

Her other hand grabbed my shoulder and she pulled herself closer to me.

"Edward?" she whispered apprehensively.

"Yes, my love," I said, reassuring her that it was really me.

Her grip tightened. "You're alive?"

"Yes, Sweetheart, and I'm here with you."

Bella let me go and pushed herself up to look at me and if my heart had been beating, it would have stopped the second our eyes met. She was so beautiful. She had always been beautiful to me, but never like this. I had the strongest urge to kiss her but her words stopped me.

"You're really alive." Her voice was steadier than it had been as she laid a hand on my chest.

I was about to answer but the feel of her hand sliding up my chest was too much and I couldn't speak. It felt like heaven as her fingers reached the top of my collar and touched my neck. Her soft caress sent a surge of heat like I'd never felt before through my entire body.

"You've been alive all these years." Her voice was stronger and her body shifted slightly as her eyes bore into mine.

My eyes widened and my reply was trapped in my throat as her fingers circled my neck and her steel grasp closed, choking me.

"And you left me here!" she growled through gritted teeth.

The hardness in her red eyes scared me. My Bella slipped away and the woman from Victoria's visions loomed over me.

"You let me mourn your death!" Her tone sent a shiver down my spine.

Her grip tightened as her body shifted again and I was swept from the ground and slammed into the nearest tree.

"But I couldn't-" Her grip got impossibly tighter, cutting off my words.

"You loved me, Edward?" she questioned me as if she didn't believe me.

Her fingers relaxed slightly. "With all my heart, Angel."

"You lie!" I felt the trunk of the tree crack as she slammed me against it. "You never loved me."

My fingers clawed at her wrist, trying to move the hand around my neck while her free hand crashed into my chest.

"You left me to die, Edward!" she yelled.

"I wanted to come." The lack of air strangled my words.

"But you didn't! _You left me_. You left me for fourteen years, Edward_._ You call that love?" My back crashed into the tree again. "You don't know what love is."

Her face broke into a grin and I would have believed it was a true smile if the hatred had left her eyes. The glare she gave me and the turn of her lips was the same picture of evil I had witnessed so many times in Victoria's memories.

"But I was okay, Edward," she said in a sweet voice. "There _was_ someone who cared about me and _he_ stayed with me. _He_ was there for me for eleven years when I had no one else." Her eyes and her voice hardened. "Don't you see, Edward, he stayed with me because _he_ loved me."

Her words drove a dagger straight through my heart. It killed me to hear her not only question my love for her, but to taunt me with _him_ and _his_ love.

"No, Bella," I choked out. "I've…loved you…every…single day."

"Then where have you been?" she asked, tightening her grip again. "If you loved me so much, why didn't you come back for me?"

I fought against her hold on me again, but my strength was waning and I couldn't pry her fingers away.

"I came…back, but you…were gone." I forced the words out. It was getting harder to talk. "Been searching for you," I gasped, "for years. Had to…find you."

A choked cry forced its way out as her fingers broke through the skin on my neck again.

"Why now? I don't need you anymore, Edward."

"Had to…tell… father…sick…"

The words wouldn't come. The pressure against my throat was too intense.

"What?" she yelled. I couldn't answer. "Tell me!" Still no answer. "Edward!"

Her hand disappeared from my neck and the sudden rush of air filling my lungs disoriented me. My eyes closed and my hand covered my throat as I felt the puncture wounds beginning to heal. Before she could attack me again, I forced out the words she needed to hear.

"Charlie," I pulled another lungful of air, "dying." It wasn't the way I wanted to tell her, but it was all I could manage.

She never answered and as the silence fell around me, I opened my eyes slowly to confirm what I felt deep inside me. I was alone again.

Bella was gone. Only this time, I knew exactly where to find her.

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><p><strong>He finally found her, though he definitely wasn't expecting their reunion to turn out quite that way. He got a taste of the viciousness he'd seen in Victoria's memories. Don't worry, though, Edward is going to do whatever it takes to get his Bella back. He won't let her down again.<strong>

**As always, thank you so much to every new reader that's hit the alert and favorite button. It means a lot to me that you're reading this little story. For all of you who've been with me all along, thanks again for giving Edward and Bella the love you do. Big hugs to everyone. You are all the best. Until next time…much love to you all – D**


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story.**

**Many thanks to my amazing team. I couldn't do this without you: ellachanted, Kate22689 and AgoodWITCH Love ya tons, ladies. **

**A/N: Just a quick note…this chapter is going to overlap a bit with the last. You'll get to see a little of what Bella was thinking while she was fighting Edward in the woods. So, let's get to it, shall we.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 25<strong>

**BPOV**

"You lie," I screamed as I fought with everything in me to break him, to hurt him.

Why? Why! Why would he torture me this way? My Edward was dead. He was never coming back to me, ever.

_No one can hurt you, Bella._

Garrett's voice rang in my ears, giving me strength, and everything he'd ever taught me flowed through me. I used it as a weapon against this man, this soulless monster who would use the memory of my only love to torment me.

It had to be a trick, some game he was playing. But why?

Why! The pain that was always in my chest when I thought of Edward grew and burned as the voice in my head screamed the same words over and over. _Edward is dead. Edward is dead._

"He's dead." The words slipped out as a sob ripped through me. My hands slowed as the pain took over.

_You're wrong, Garrett. It hurts._

I cried as the words slipped one more time.

"He's dead." I felt his fingers around my wrist.

"Edward is dead." I cried harder, unable to fight anymore as the pain of fourteen years finally broke me.

My body crashed on top of his and his arms held me like a vice.

"It's me, Bella. I'm not dead."

Every one of his lies cut through me and I fought against him as hard as I could, but he was strong, refusing to let go.

"Remember me, Angel."

That name again. How did he know that name?

"Remember our love. Remember everything we shared. Remember everything we were."

Still fighting, his grip tightened, crushing me to his chest. I couldn't move no matter how hard I tried.

"You were my best friend." He continued to talk. "You were the love of my life."

He kissed my hair and I froze. A warmth spread through me. The kind I hadn't felt in what seemed like a lifetime.

"You made me cupcakes."

Memories forced their way into my head. Edward sharing his cupcake with me on his fifth birthday and then every birthday after that.

"I brought you flowers."

The garden behind my house. A pink tulip. A first kiss.

My hand reflexively grabbed his shirt, grasping at a dream that couldn't possibly come true.

I felt his hand running through my hair. Edward had done the same when we shared our second kiss. His lips touched my hair again and that warmth inside me grew hotter.

Could it really be? Could this one miracle come true?

"You were going to marry me, Angel. You were going to be my wife. You were my whole world and I loved you…so much."

My heart, though hard as stone, felt as if it jumped in my chest and my empty hand slid under his arm to grab his shoulder and I pulled my long lost love to my chest.

"Edward?" I whispered, hoping not to ruin this dream.

"Yes, my love."

The pain released its hold on my chest as I listened to his voice, so soft, different but still so much like the one I used to love. Edward…my Edward was really here? I held him tighter, praying he wouldn't disappear.

"You're alive?"

"Yes, Sweetheart, and I'm here with you."

I had to see his face. I had to know this was real. Releasing my grip, I began to ease myself away from him and he finally let me go.

My eyes met his and I gasped. He was a vampire just as I was, but he was different. The red eyes I expected to see were, instead, a strange golden color. He was still amazingly handsome only now his face had more of an ethereal beauty. Had my heart still been beating, it would have stopped at the sight of him. He was breathtaking.

"You're really alive," I said, more to myself than him as my hand touched his chest.

So incredible. So unbelievable that he was here.

My fingers inched toward his neck and my breath caught the instant I touched his skin. Every nerve in my body was set on fire as the memories of our lives together flooded my mind. I remembered us as children playing together in my backyard. As teenagers falling in love. As adults planning our lives together. I had missed him so much. He was my whole world.

But that world crumbled around me when he died.

I cried for months as the pain of losing him ripped my heart to shreds. I had nothing left to live for and I had prayed so many times for death to take me just so we could be together again. I nearly died that day in his room as I said goodbye and left what remained of my heart behind.

But he wasn't dead… not really. He just let me believe he was. He allowed me to suffer and drown in the misery his death caused me. He left me in agony. He left me in pain.

Well, I could cause pain too.

"You've been alive all these years." I could barely control my anger as my fingers closed around his throat. "And you left me here!" I growled through gritted teeth.

Searching his eyes for guilt or remorse, I found none.

"You let me mourn your death!"

How dare he claim to love me!

Everything in me died with him that day, but he stayed away. He didn't care what happened to me. If he did, he would have come back.

A man _in love_ would have come back!

Anger boiled inside me and I wanted nothing more than to tear his head off for all the pain he had caused me. But not yet. He owed me answers.

His body flew like a rag doll as I forced him from the ground and pinned him against the tree.

"But I couldn't-" My fingers squeezed tighter cutting off his excuse.

The word 'couldn't' wasn't good enough, no matter what came after it.

"You loved me, Edward?" I asked, turning his words into the joke they were.

I loosened my grip slightly so he could answer.

"With all my heart, Angel."

"You lie!" I pulled back and crushed his back against the tree. "You never loved me."

He tried to break my hold but the instant my fist crashed against his chest, his arms fell.

"You left me to die, Edward!" I yelled.

"I wanted to come."

"But you didn't! _You left me_. You left me for fourteen years, Edward_._ You call that love?" His back hit the tree again. "You don't know what love is."

Garrett loved me. He was the one who stayed and if it weren't for those wolves, Garrett would have never left my side. Edward could learn a thing or two from him about what it meant to love someone.

_Why not teach him?_ The voice inside my head spoke. _Tell him what a man in love will do._

My eyes hardened as a smile crossed my lips.

"But I was okay, Edward," I began, erasing all traces of anger from my voice. "There _was_ someone who cared about me and _he_ stayed with me. _He_ was there for me for eleven years when I had no one else." I lost the hold on my anger. "Don't you see, Edward, he stayed with me because _he_ loved me."

Finally, his eyes dimmed with the first sign of real sorrow, but it wasn't enough. The pain he left me to feel couldn't be washed away so easily.

"No, Bella." He choked on his words. "I've…loved you…every…single day."

"Then where have you been?" My hand tightened again as his words fueled my rage. "If you loved me so much, why didn't you come back for me?"

His nails scratched at my hand as he fought against me, but his strength was gone.

"I came…back, but you…were gone."

He could barely speak and small sense of satisfaction welled up in me. It looked like I wasn't the only one in pain anymore.

"Been searching for you," I gasped, "for years. Had to…find you."

He let out a strangled cry as my grip tightened again, causing my nails to puncture his neck. I didn't mean to do it like I did before when I believed he was a threat and I suddenly found myself fighting hard against the evil part of me that wanted nothing more than to rip his throat out.

"Why now? I don't need you anymore, Edward," I roared as I tried to maintain control.

"Had to…tell… father…sick…"

The last two words stilled my hand. What did he mean? His father was dead already just as he was supposed to be. It took a fraction of a second for dread to fill me as I put his words together.

He wasn't talking about his father. He was talking about mine.

"What?" I yelled. No answer. "Tell me!"

I had to hear the words that would confirm my worst fear.

"Edward!" I screamed at him, but he wouldn't speak.

In a panic, I jumped away from him and watched Edward's body crumple to the ground as he gasped for air. I wanted to grab him by the collar of his shirt and force him to tell me, but I couldn't move.

Fear rooted me in place, or it did until Edward's next two words, "Charlie…dying," sent me flying toward home.

_What happened? What's wrong with him? Why wouldn't Edward tell me?_

So many thoughts rushed through my head as I flew through the trees. This couldn't be happening, not now. It was too soon. My father was still young, just over fifty. He should be healthy.

Pushing myself harder than I ever had, I stopped behind the old garden shed less than ten minutes after I ran from the woods. Tears blurred my vision as I stood frozen, staring at the dark house. I'd been gone for so long and as I stood facing my home, guilt consumed me as I thought of all the years I'd stayed away, never once attempting to come home.

I was so hurt and broken when I left here that I couldn't stand the thought of coming back. No matter how much I missed my parents, I had let my pain and Edward's memory keep me away. Now it was too late. I was going to lose my father and he'd never know how much I still loved him.

A growl rumbled deep in my chest as Edward's scent pulled me from my thoughts. Turning my back to the shed, I scanned the darkness. I couldn't see him but I knew he was close.

"Don't take another step, Edward," I warned, knowing he could hear me.

I heard his footsteps come to a halt as silence hung in the air. A few minutes passed as I searched the area around me. He was nowhere to be seen but I could feel him out there.

"Please let me help, Bella." His voice sliced through the darkness.

"I don't need your help."

"Don't shut me out, Angel."

My eyes closed for a split second as the old name brought more memories of our lives together.

"I watched my father die, Bella," he continued. "I know how you feel."

"How long have you known, Edward?" I hissed, ignoring his last comment. "How long did you watch my father suffer before you came to find me?"

His loud gasp reached my ears. "How could you think that of me, Bella?" I heard leaves rustle to my right and I shifted slightly in his direction. "You know I…"

"How long, Edward?" I growled, letting the anger drip from my voice.

"I only found out yesterday, Bella." The leaves rustled again just before I heard his feet hit the ground. "You have to believe me, Angel. The second I found out, I knew I didn't have another year to search. I knew it was more important than ever to find you."

"Why should I believe a word you say?"

"I have _never_ lied to you." His answer came fast. "Not once in my life. You are the only one I've ever spoken the absolute truth to and that will never change. It doesn't matter now if you believe me or not, every word will always be true."

"Every word?" I asked, not ready to believe him yet.

"Yes, Bella, every single word."

If he was going to claim to speak the truth, then I was going to get the truth.

"When were you changed, Edward?" Keeping the hatred out of my voice was difficult.

"My father got sick shortly after-"

"I don't want to hear about your father, Edward," I growled.

"Bella-"

"Answer my question."

"It was about three weeks before…"

"Stop," I said, cutting him off as I turned to hear what was going on in the house.

Until that second, the house had been quiet. Now, I heard what sounded like a muffled cry.

"Bel-"

"Quiet," I ordered him.

"Mrs. Swan?"

Tears suddenly filled my eyes again as I heard Mrs. Jones speak. I'd missed her so much and it hurt to hear her voice after so many years.

"Maggie," I heard the tremble in my mother's voice, "I'm sorry. Did I wake you?"

"No, I don't sleep much these days either."

I moved quickly from my hiding spot behind the garden shed to peek in the window. The house was dark but I could see my mother sitting at the dining room table with Mrs. Jones in the doorway about three feet away.

"Please, leave it off," my mother said as I watched Mrs. Jones reach for the light.

She did as my mother asked and joined her at the table.

"How am I going to live without him, Maggie?"

My mother burst into tears, her head falling into her hands. Mrs. Jones moved quickly from the chair to wrap her arms around her.

"Shh, it's okay. We still have time."

I watched as Mrs. Jones rubbed my mother's back, trying to comfort her. My arms wrapped around my chest as I remembered when she used to do the same for me after I had lost Edward. She had spent so many nights rocking me to sleep when my grief wouldn't give me one night's peace.

"I've lost my whole family, Maggie." My mother reached a hand around Mrs. Jones' back to hug her. "Charlie is leaving me. Bella is gone and, as much as I'd like to hold on to hope, I don't believe I'll ever see her again."

"No, Momma, I'm right here," I whispered, wishing she would hear me, wishing I could go to her.

"You can't think that way, Renee." Mrs. Jones pulled back and held my mother's hands. "You must be strong now, stronger than you've ever been." She touched her cheek. "You and I will make it through this together. But we cannot lose faith. We must pray for God's great mercy that he will not only send Miss Bella home to us, he will not take Charles from us too soon."

"The very second he leaves me will be too soon. I have loved him my whole life and I don't want to live without him. He was lost to me once before remember? But you brought him back to me." My mother pulled Mrs. Jones' hand from her cheek. "You can't do that this time. No one can."

I feared for my mother. Losing my father would leave a hole in her heart that would never be filled. I knew that pain because it was the same hole that had ripped my heart to shreds fourteen years ago.

My knees hit the ground and my hands covered my ears as I rocked back and forth. I didn't want to hear anymore, but I wouldn't be that lucky. With my hearing, there wasn't anything I could do to block out their words.

"I'm going to lose my husband and there's nothing anyone can do about it."

"You need to stop this, Renee," Mrs. Jones said forcefully. "Charles needs you to be strong. He needs you to help him make it through each day. And you can't do that if you're feeling so defeated that you're ready to bury him tomorrow.

"He's my best friend, Renee, and I feel this loss every bit as much as you do but we cannot break down. He needs us both to stand by him now when he is at his weakest." I heard the slight tremor as she inhaled deeply. "And when the time comes, we'll both be there holding his hand as he takes his last breath. He deserves that much."

"I'm just afraid of what will happen to me after he's gone. What if my life follows the same path as my daughter's?" I gasped at her question. "You remember how she was after Edward passed. We had to keep a constant watch over her to make sure she made it through each day. I was so afraid I was going to lose her, that she'd find a way to hurt herself while we weren't looking just so she could be with Edward."

"Oh God." The choked words forced their way out as I thought about how much I'd hurt them. I had tried to hide it. I never wanted any of them to know how much pain I was in or how much I wished to die and be with Edward, but nothing I did mattered. They saw everything.

Clutching at my chest, I wished I could I cry as I began to feel the hurt all over again. Why did everyone have to suffer because of me?

"That was after seventeen years, Maggie. Charlie has been with me more than twice as long." She was crying again. "What if I'm just like my Bella and the grief becomes too much for me to bear? What if I-"

My head snapped up as my mother's sentence was cut off by a choking cough. Wood scraped against the floor as I heard their rushed footsteps carry them out of the room.

"Daddy, no," I yelled as I jumped to my feet, desperate to follow them.

I wanted to make sure my father was okay but a hand caught my wrist just before I could rip the back door from its hinges. Edward's scent surrounded me as he wound his other arm around my waist, pulling me against his body.

"You can't, Bella," he whispered urgently in my ear.

"Let me go." I fought against him, clawing at his arm to release his grip. "I have to see him."

"No, Angel, you can't."

He dragged me away from the house and his hand clamped around my mouth as I began to scream at him to let me go. I scratched and punched and kicked at him until my body was slammed against the ground behind the garden shed. Edward's entire body surrounded me, holding me in his vice grip again as he continued to beg me to calm down.

How could he ask such a thing with my father dying not even a hundred feet from me?

His hand shifted as I struggled to get free and I bit down hard. If there was one thing Garrett taught me, it was to fight with every weapon you had and right now, with Edward's arm and legs working to hold me still, my teeth were the only weapons I had left.

His teeth sank into my shoulder as he tried to muffle his pained cry. My own scream allowed him to yank his hand away from my mouth.

"Get off of me," I screamed.

"Quiet, Bella." His hand covered my mouth again, only more carefully this time. "They can't know we're here," he warned. "We have to get inside. We can't be seen." It sounded as if he was talking more to himself than to me.

Still holding my mouth, his other arm and legs released me for just a second as he stood, pulling me along with him. The instant my arms were free, I fought against him again, kicking and punching as I tried to get away from him and get to my father.

His arm was around me again, gripping one of my wrists and pinning my arm to my stomach. My other hand pulled at his hair and clawed at the hand holding me against him. He was too strong for me and before I knew it, he'd lifted my feet from the ground and we were standing outside his back door.

"No! No!" I shouted against his hand but my muffled screams were no use.

I shook my head frantically as I panicked, not wanting to go inside.

"Please, Angel." His voice held his own panic as he spoke. "No one can see us. Please, we have to get inside."

He didn't understand. That house held nothing but pain for me. I couldn't go back in there.

I fought against him with everything I could but my whole body froze as my backyard filled with light. Edward seized his chance and rushed me inside just as the backdoor to my house flew open with a bang as it hit the wall. The call into the night was lost on me as I struggled to break Edward's grip.

My feet slid across the kitchen floor as I tried to stop him from carrying me further into my own personal hell. He had no idea the tears I'd shed inside this house all those years ago. No clue how many hours I'd spent grieving, crying in the corner while I replayed every precious memory of him in my head.

I fought every step he took as he forced me up the stairs but as my eyes fell on his bedroom door, I remembered every second of my last day in that room. It was more than I could take and my body slumped in his arms as grief overwhelmed me again.

Edward swept me into his arms, holding me tight against him. "Don't cry, my sweet girl." His lips touched my forehead. "You're not alone anymore."

I was on a bed before I realized he'd even opened the door. Edward lay down next to me and pulled me against his chest. I couldn't stop the sobs as everything, all the anger, pain, loneliness, fear, hate, love and loss, crashed down around me.

He let me cry, speaking soothing words to me as he stroked my hair. When I could finally calm myself down, I pushed to move him away from me. His grip tightened, forcing my body against his.

"I love you, Bella," he said gently, kissing my forehead again. "And I know you love me, too."

"No." I choked on the word as I tried to force my way out of his arms.

"It's still there, Bella. I can feel it." His arms held me captive, keeping me close as he kissed me once more. "Please tell me you can still feel it."

He held me tighter as I struggled against him, but my fight wasn't with him. The war was inside of me. My head telling me that he never really loved me, that I hated him for leaving me, that I didn't need or want him near me anymore and I couldn't trust him to stay even if I did. He had left me once; he could do it again, only I wouldn't survive it a second time.

But my heart screamed at me. This was Edward. The one who gave me a flower kissed by an angel. The one who came to me in the moonlight and risked everything just to hold me on my birthday. The one who got down on one knee, asking me to marry him and lit up brighter than the heavens when I said yes. He was the love of my life and the one I'd given my whole heart to when I was just a little girl.

"We belong together, Angel. We always have."

My mind drifted for a minute, bringing Miss Emma's words back to me. _'You're so young. You can't close yourself off to love so early in your life.'_

When I'd heard her speak those words to Lizzy, I was thinking she could have been saying them directly to me. I had pushed Jack and Garrett away because neither one could ever replace Edward in my heart. And now he was here. By some great miracle, he was alive. Somehow, he had been changed, just as I was. Forever altered in such a way that we could possibly have a second chance.

Could I take it? Should I take it?

'_Just…when it happens don't shy away from it.'_ Her final words to Lizzy were so right.

I hated Edward for leaving me, for not coming back for me and for letting me suffer a life without him for so many years. But he was here now and no matter how much my mind protested, my heart screamed to give in. Even though my anger and hatred for him wouldn't let me trust him, he was right. I felt something and it was that feeling that wouldn't allow me to let him go.

My hand slowly, tentatively slid over his hip and settled on his back as I held him tight.

"Edward." I whispered as my other hand clutched his shirt, pulling myself closer.

_Please stay with me. _

I couldn't bring myself to say the words out loud, still afraid to get close, to let him in. Edward's death devastated me and I would never make it through another day if I lost him again. But as it always was with us, I didn't have to speak for him to know what I wanted to say.

"Shh. I'm here, my love," his fingers combed through my hair, "and I swear to you, I will never leave you again." His lips brushed across my hair as his arms gripped me tighter. "You're finally home with me, Angel…forever."

* * *

><p><strong>Bella is fighting hard right now. She's completely confused and doesn't know what to feel. Dealing with Edward coming back and her father's illness is going to make things so hard for her for a while. It's not going to be an easy road but at least Edward and Bella are going to travel it together now.<strong>

**Now…I haven't done this in a long time, but I've read a story recently that I just had to share. It's one of those that tears at your heart and I think it's one that everyone should read. So, check it out. You won't be sorry.**

**The Widow's Walk by brodeurgirl30 **

**As always, thank you so much to every new reader that's hit the alert and favorite button. It means a lot to me that you're reading this little story. For all of you who've been with me all along, thanks again for giving Edward and Bella the love you do. Big hugs to everyone. You are all the best. Until next time…much love to you all – D**


	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story. **

**Many thanks to my amazing team. I couldn't do this without you: ellachanted, Kate22689 and AgoodWITCH Love ya tons, ladies. **

**A/N: Just a quick note…again, this chapter is going to overlap a bit with the last. You'll get to see a little of what Edward was thinking as he tried to calm her down while they were lying together. So, let's get to it, shall we.**

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 25 Recap: Bella learned that Edward was alive and that her dad was dying. She ran home to check on him and, after overhearing a heart wrenching conversation between her mom and Mrs. Jones, blamed herself for her family's grief. When she heard the two women rush to tend to Charlie, Bella nearly ripped the door from its hinges to get into the house. Edward stopped her from doing something she'd regret and took her to his house to calm down and think rationally. Once inside, he tried to talk to her and get her to believe in his love again. The chapter ends with Bella surrendering to the emotional side of herself and holding on to Edward and praying for him to stay.<em>

_Caught up? Good…now, on with the story._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 26<strong>

**EPOV**

Bella hated me.

No. I couldn't be true. The words were impossible to comprehend. She was my best friend. She should have been my wife. We were supposed to have forever but I got sick and then I let Carlisle take me away. I knew it was wrong. I knew if I had come back she would still love me and we could have been together.

_Why didn't I come back for her? How could I let her suffer like that?_

She was right. _I_ let her down. _I_ broke my promises. _I_ left her to die.

Never again.

No matter what she said to me or how many times she tried to push me away, I would never leave her side again. I was going to do whatever it took to make her believe that.

I held her a little closer to me. "I love you, Bella."

I couldn't stop myself and dipped my head to touch my lips to her forehead. She was still trying to push me away, not wanting me to touch her and I hated forcing myself upon her that way but that spark, that feeling that was always between us was still there.

I couldn't… I wouldn't let it go and I wouldn't allow her to either.

"And I know you love me, too."

"No." She tried to push me away again but I refused to let go.

"It's still there, Bella. I can feel it." I kissed her again. "Please tell me you can still feel it."

She struggled against me, refusing to answer. I locked my arms around her, unwilling to let her run from me again.

"We belong together, Angel. We always have."

I wanted her to agree. I wanted her to say something, but she gave me nothing. My heart broke with every second we spent in silence. I didn't know what to do, what to say. She had to remember. She had to…

Every thought was silenced when she finally stopped fighting against me. My body froze when I felt her hand slide over my hip and my breath caught when she pulled me against her.

"Edward."

Her soft voice saying my name was the sweetest sound in the world and my heart swelled with hope as her fist closed around my shirt, bringing me even closer to her.

Her forehead touched my chest as she surrendered fully. "Please stay with me."

Those four words were my salvation and I wanted nothing more than to hold her and kiss her for the rest of our existence, but I couldn't…not yet. She wasn't ready. I would be a fool to believe she'd suddenly forgiven me and let go of her anger. My Bella had always been stubborn.

Unable to fulfill my dreams of the past fourteen years, I settled for the closeness we shared on our last day together. I gripped her tighter and let my fingers slide through the silky strands of her hair.

"Shh. I'm here, my love, and I swear to you, I will never leave you again." I hoped to assure her with another stolen kiss to top of her head. "You're finally home with me, Angel…forever."

Releasing a shaky breath, Bella began to sob again. Her pain broke my heart as it always did, but this was so much worse, because this time I was the cause. Everything she was feeling was because of me, because I left her alone. But it would never happen again.

Lying there, I swore to God in heaven, pledging my life and my love to Bella until the end of time and I prayed for the day to come when she could finally forgive me and love me again.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

The sliver of light coming through the slit in the curtains had been gone for so long I was counting the minutes before the sun rose to start a new day. If we were able to sleep, I would swear Bella had been under for hours. She didn't speak and she didn't move a single muscle as we lay there in the darkness. Her crying had stopped long ago and the silence in the room was both comforting and a little unnerving.

I'd spent years working to tune the voices out of my head and I'd gotten so good at it that I could focus on a single person if I wanted to. But I couldn't hear her.

I had tried. I had been trying since things settled next door and Mrs. Jones and Renee had gone to sleep. When I opened my mind, I could see the images of their dreams and the dreams of those in the neighborhood, but still nothing from Bella. Even when I closed myself off to everything but her, I couldn't hear a thing.

I began to believe something was wrong with me. How could she be so silent to me? Was it possible that she had cleared her mind of all her thoughts?

I doubted it. I knew Bella. She was a part of me and I knew her like I knew myself. I knew her mind had to be working frantically right now even if the stillness of her body showed no indication. I just wished I could hear what she was thinking.

As I suspected, it wasn't long before the sun was shining again and there was movement in the house next door. Mrs. Jones was humming as she began to cook breakfast and I heard a bed creak.

"Charlie?"

For the first time since yesterday morning, Bella's entire body stiffened.

"Honey, come back to bed."

"Too much to do, Renee." His voice was hoarse, still tired, then he groaned and I heard his feet hit the floor.

"Your appointment isn't for another four hours, Sweetheart. Please come back to bed," she begged him in both her words and her thoughts, knowing he needed to rest.

"Renee, I've been in bed for days."

Bella's fist tightened, ripping my shirt. I rubbed her back, comforting her the only way I could.

"I think I'll go help Maggie with breakfast." Charlie kissed his wife. "Sleep, Darling. I'll return soon."

"Maggie?" Bella's quiet voice startled me.

"Mrs. Jones," I answered her. She lifted her confused eyes to meet mine. "You and I spent our entire childhood with that woman and had no idea she and your father were best friends."

I smiled when Bella's brow creased.

"How do you know this?"

My smile faded, knowing this would be where it started. I had promised her the absolute truth and that was what I would give her. It wasn't a difficult question but I knew _my _Bella would be upset by my answer. And I'd learned enough about the girl in my arms now to know that she wouldn't take the news lightly and I braced myself for a fight.

Hoping to keep her violent side at bay, I spoke in the calmest voice possible. "The first year I came home, I overheard a horrible argument between the three of them. Your father was so angry, more so than I'd ever heard in my life. He was yelling at your mother and when Mrs. Jones stepped in to defend her, he turned his anger on her."

"You're lying!" Her fist hit me hard and in a flash, she was across the room. "My father has never yelled at my mother and neither of my parents have ever said a cross word to Mrs. Jones. What could possibly cause them to argue?"

I didn't want to say it. I didn't want to hurt her again and it was inevitable that my words would do just that. I steeled myself for her wrath.

"They were arguing about you." I didn't expect the anger to drain from her face or for the deep pain to take its place. I continued quickly. "It was 1928 and your father had been looking for you every day since you disappeared nine years earlier. He was hurt and scared and upset, believing he had somehow let you down. That he had failed as a father because he couldn't protect you and keep you safe. He blamed himself for you leaving.

"Your mother found him crying after he had read a letter you left behind when you ran away and she begged him not to read it again." Bella slumped to the ground with her head in her hands. "He told her that he just wanted you back and Renee, always being the level headed one, told him that you had to be out there somewhere living a better life.

"He didn't take that comment well and his anger boiled over, accusing her of not caring about you. She tried to convince him that they wouldn't survive if he continued to use what little money they had left to find, and these are her words, 'someone who didn't want to be found.'"

Bella was sobbing again and I wanted so much to comfort her but I was afraid she wouldn't let me. At least not until I told her everything.

"Charlie flew into such a rage that the force of it overwhelmed me and I crumbled under the weight of it. When I had regained some control, I looked through the window and saw her cowering beneath him. He had her backed into a corner and I was afraid for a moment that he would have hurt her if Mrs. Jones hadn't come in to stop their argument."

"And you let this happen!" Bella's roar echoed in the empty room and faster than I believed possible, she had me pinned to the wall. "You stood by and watched while he threatened them."

"Bella, you know we can't…"

"He was going to attack my mother and you were going to allow it to happen!" she growled.

"No one can know about us, Bella. I couldn't step in, you know that." I rushed to explain.

Fury sparked in her eyes and a look of disgust distorted her features. "You're so afraid of the Italians that you would stand by and watch while a woman… no… while _my mother_ was about to be hurt."

"I would never, Angel," I croaked against the arm she pressed into my throat. "The Italians don't frighten me, but I didn't need to help."

"She was afraid of him." She pressed harder and her eyes narrowed. "His rage backed her into a corner, and you didn't need to help?"

"He's your father, Angel. He loves her with his whole heart. I knew he would never hurt her."

I lifted my hand slowly to stroke her cheek. The pressure on my throat lessened slightly and I could see the conflict in her eyes.

"You know it's true, Bella." My eyes held hers and I stilled my hand to rest on her cheek. Her arm dropped to lie on my chest. "Your father was the most honorable man I had ever known. He would never do such a thing. He was in so much pain and her words triggered his anger, but he fought within himself to control his temper.

"Mrs. Jones' interference allowed him the time to remember himself. To bring himself back from that level of despair. Her words reminded him that they were both hurting and they needed each other."

The pain in her eyes broke my heart and my empty hand covered hers where it gripped my shirt. I knew she was blaming herself for what happened but I wouldn't allow her to shoulder this burden.

"I know you never wanted to hurt them, my love. You cannot blame yourself for their pain."

Tears pooled in her eyes. "How can you say that?"

"I know what you wrote in your letter. You were in such pain, Angel. You were only trying to save yourself. Your father knew that and he understood the pain you were in, but it didn't stop him from wanting you home.

"In his mind, Bella, it was his job to chase your demons away, to do everything in his power to make his little girl happy. When his every attempt failed and you ran away, he couldn't forgive himself. It wasn't until that night that Mrs. Jones helped him remember that your grief far outweighed his and the only way to help you was to find his own strength."

She released her grip on my shirt and pulled both her hands between us.

"He found that strength, Bella. The love your parents share is so much stronger now than it had ever been before." Slowly, I guided her back to sit on the bed and I dropped to my knees in front of her. "Their undying love for you, Angel, is what brought them back together again. It may have been born from pain, but they're still in love today because of you."

"Do you really believe that?" It was barely a whisper.

Her eyes still held sadness, only now there was a faint glimmer of hope there as well and I wouldn't let her lose it. With a hand on her cheek, I placed a small kiss on her forehead again.

"I know it, Bella."

As I pulled back, I caught a glimpse of a smile on her beautiful face before she forced it away. She pushed me away from her and moved across the room again.

"None of that explains how you know about her and my father."

My smile was automatic. She may have pushed me away but it wasn't in anger this time, and that was enough for me. It gave me hope and my voice was lighter now as I explained.

"Mrs. Jones showed so much courage stepping between them the way she did, giving no thought to her own safety. But, of course, she knew your father better than anyone and knew, without a doubt, that she was in absolutely no danger from him." I moved from the floor to the bed. "Your father yelled at her and, with all the most defiant attitude I'd ever heard her use before, she yelled right back at him." I chuckled as I relayed the memory to Bella. "I think she may have scared him a little."

A little grin fought its way to the surface but she fought again to hide it as if she wouldn't allow herself to be happy.

"She said something about her mother raising him and the two of them growing up like brother and sister." Bella's eyes widened in shock. "I think I had that same look on my face when I heard it, too. I would have never believed it if I didn't hear her speak the words."

The small laugh that slipped out was music to my ears. I had missed that sound so much over the years and I was bursting with joy that I had brought some small piece of happiness back to her.

"I've always known her family had served mine. They have for generations, but I would have never guessed they were friends. I'd only seen him treat her as an employee." Bella leaned against the wall with her arms crossed as she stared at the floor. "When I was fourteen, I had overheard a conversation between my parents. My father was concerned because Mrs. Jones had never married, she would never have children and when she was gone, there would be no one left to take care of me or _my _children."

She paused, shaking her head and I couldn't help but wonder what was going through her mind. I tried again to hear her, but was met with silence once more.

"If he only knew…" She trailed off.

Bella didn't speak again and my mind was running rampant trying to figure out what her last words meant.

When I couldn't take the silence, I asked, "If he only knew what?"

Bella slid to the floor, hugging her legs to her chest and resting her chin on her knee. When we were kids, she would only do that when she was sad. It didn't happen often but I had always been there for her when it did. The last time I'd seen her like that was the day we said goodbye to each other on her back porch.

Guilt overwhelmed me as I thought of all the times she would have found herself in this exact position when she believed I was dead. I could only imagine the heart wrenching agony she would have been in, knowing that she'd lost everything.

Remembering my own anguish the day I had to let her go, it had felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest, and that was only after a few hours. Bella had been forced to live with that pain for nearly a year by then. Without thinking, I was by her side, a hand on her cheek, guiding her to look at me.

"Tell me, Angel."

Her sad eyes flickered between mine. "That dreams don't always come true."

She was on her feet and out of the room before I could stop her.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

I had been staring at the ceiling for hours when I heard the door close next door as Charlie and Renee left for the doctor. I hadn't seen Bella since she walked away, leaving me alone in the room. Knowing she was only downstairs, I wanted desperately to go to her, comfort her and assure her that everything would be fine, but I couldn't. She needed space and time to deal with the life altering information she'd been given.

In less than two days, she'd learned that her father was dying and everything she believed she knew about me was a lie. She had to face the fact that her life could have been different if I had only come back for her. I had no idea what her life had been like during our years apart but if her anger and violent behavior were any indication, it couldn't have been anything resembling the life I'd lived with Carlisle.

Guilt swept through me again as I thought about the easy life I had lived with my father there to guide me and love me every step of the way. I thought back on how much our lives had changed when Carlisle brought Esme home. I had a mother again. Someone to love me, nurture me and worry about me when I had the slightest bit of trouble in my life.

Bella didn't have to say a word for me to know that she didn't live a life remotely close to that. She may have had that other man in her life to watch out for her and teach her to survive, but that couldn't compare to the family I'd been blessed with. And even that wasn't enough. He had been gone for the past three years and she had been left completely alone in this world.

"Edward."

Bella's voice tore me from my thoughts before I could dwell on them any longer. She still hadn't come upstairs as I had hoped but she was ready to talk, and that was enough.

"Yes, Bella."

"Were you really sick like they said or did you just find a way to leave me?"

Her question stunned me for a moment, leaving me speechless.

"Are you…? How could you…?" I stammered when I was able to speak again.

I couldn't find the right words as hers shattered my heart. She really thought so little of me after all these years that she believed I could do something so deplorable, so unforgivable to her. To the one woman I would ever pledge my heart and life to.

I knew it had been wrong to walk away, to leave her behind and throw our love away as if she had meant nothing to me. But to hear her say that she believed it was possible for me to walk away like every step I took didn't rip my heart to shreds was a pain worse than death. For her to say such a thing confirmed my worst fear.

Bella truly believed I never really loved her.

My body curled in on itself as the pain of that thought threatened to crush me. For fourteen years, I felt the agony as a little piece of my heart died every day I walked this earth without her. It wasn't until the day I'd heard her voice and laid eyes on her beautiful face that my heart became whole again.

With one look, I was saved.

With one sentence, she destroyed me all over again.

"Just give me an answer, Edward." Her impatient voice interrupted my thoughts.

Pain filled my tone as I answered, "Do you really think I'm capable of hurting you that way?" When she didn't answer, I continued. "Even if I didn't love you with every fiber of my being, do you really believe, as your best friend, I could do such a thing?"

"Then how could you not come for me?"

I heard the tiny crack as her pain-filled voice reached my ears and for the first time since laying eyes on her, I was thankful for the distance between us. I needed to tell her the truth but I wasn't sure I could get through it if I was forced to see the pain in her eyes.

"Six weeks should have been nothing," I began, "but every day away from you killed me."

I knew I'd begun my explanation further back than she probably cared to hear, but she needed to know everything…from the beginning.

"I counted the days until it seemed as if each day lasted a lifetime. There were some days when I was so lost in my thoughts of you that I didn't want to leave my room and others when I missed you so much that I didn't even want get out of bed. My mother wouldn't hear of it, though, always finding things for me to do so I was forced to get out of bed.

"Then, a little over two weeks after you left, my father got sick." I paused, suddenly seeing his face in my mind. "I should have known it was more serious than my mother led me to believe, especially when his symptoms only seemed to worsen as the week dragged on. Of course, I was no doctor back then. There was no way I could have possibly known?

"I was dreaming of you when my mother's scream woke me. I ran to their room and saw my father lying on the floor, coughing up blood. We rushed him to the hospital where they told us he had contracted a lethal strain of the Spanish Influenza.

"Being so close to him, my mother and I had already been exposed and, once they were explained to me, I began seeing symptoms in both my mother and myself. It didn't take me long to realize that the three of us would never leave that hospital.

"But I tried to fight it, Bella. You have to believe me. I tried so hard. I couldn't let the illness take me before I saw you again, before I had a chance to say goodbye. I just wasn't strong enough and I gave up when it became too painful to hold on.

"I knew I would never see you again, never get the chance to tell you how much I loved you, or tell you how sorry I was for breaking all of my promises to you, and that hurt worse than dying. I gave in, Bella, and with my last moments, I chose to focus on the happiest times we had shared together and it was your beautiful face in my mind as I closed my eyes for the last time."

"But it _wasn't _the last time, was it? Your eyes opened again three days later," she yelled, her voice filled with pain. "Three days, Edward, and you were this. You weren't sick anymore, you weren't dying but you still didn't come for me. You left me alone and broken, wishing for death every day just so I could see you and be with you again."

"I couldn't come…not in the beginning."

"You couldn't come?"

Bella's voice in the doorway startled me and I jumped from the bed. She was angry again and I readied myself for another attack.

"No, I…"

"Was I not good enough for you anymore?" she shouted, suddenly in front of me, pushing against my chest.

"That's not…"

She cut me off again. "I didn't fit into your new life, did I, Edward?"

"Stop, you don't understand!" I growled, my temper rising.

"Big bad vampire couldn't be bothered with the human!"

"Bella, just listen!" I was yelling at her now, but she ignored me.

"You didn't want anything to do with me, did you? You wanted to replace me, didn't you?" I blocked her fist before she could connect with my chest. "Just admit it. You didn't come back for me because you wanted someone stronger…better than some pathetic little human."

Furious with her assumptions, I grabbed her hand as she threw her next punch.

"I didn't come back for you because I didn't remember you!" I roared, threw her hand away from me and put some distance between us.

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><p><strong>Edward has done so well dealing with Bella's anger and rage, knowing it's to be expected. You can't blame him for losing it a little at the end as she accuses him, again, of not loving her. He loves her with all his heart, but even Edward has limits.<strong>

**I'm so excited to have another rec for you today. While the subject matter could be difficult to read, the story is absolutely amazing. So, check it out. You won't be sorry.**

**Que Sera, Sera by Livie79 **

**As always, thank you so much to every new reader that has hit the alert and favorite button. It means a lot to me that you're reading this little story. For all of you who've been with me all along, thanks again for giving Edward and Bella the love you do. Big hugs to everyone. You are all the best. Until next time…much love to you all – D**


	27. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story. **

**Many thanks to my amazing team. I couldn't do this without you: ellachanted, Kate22689 and AgoodWITCH Love ya tons, ladies. **

**Please forgive the long delay for this chapter. It took me way longer to finish it than it should have.**

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><p><em>Chapter 26 Recap: Edward, again, pledged his undying love to Bella as he held her in his arms after she asked him not to leave. Then he had to hurt her all over again by telling her how much her leaving hurt her family. She, of course, wasn't happy when Edward revealed Charlie's anger and he did nothing to interfere. He calmed her by reminding her of the man her father is and then eased her pain by telling her that trying to protect herself and her heart was the right thing to do. After a long silence, they were finally able to talk and Edward told her what it was like for him to be without her before he was changed. Without really listening to his explanation, Bella unleashed her anger on Edward again when he told her he couldn't come back for her. After losing his hold on his own temper, Edward told her the worst thing he ever could…that he didn't remember her.<em>

_Caught up? Good…now, on with the story._

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><p><strong>Chapter 27<strong>

**BPOV**

"I didn't come back for you because I didn't remember you!" He spoke the words through gritted teeth.

As a vampire, I didn't need to breathe and if I were honest, I hadn't done much of it since Edward crashed back into my world. But those words… Hearing those dreadful words left me unable to take a single breath as each echoing footstep carried him away from me.

My heart shattered the day my father told me Edward was dead. The pieces withered and died the day I was told his body had been cremated and I would never have the chance to say goodbye. Everything else inside me broke the day I walked out of his bedroom and left my entire world behind.

But none of that… no amount of pain or heartbreak or devastating loneliness and despair that I had suffered since I learned of his death couldn't amount to the soul crushing torture those words inflicted upon me.

I had died a little each day as I lived my life without him. I had always secretly hoped for death, believing it was the only way we could be together and, for years, I had punished Garrett severely for taking that final piece of hope away from me.

And for what?

For all my longing, hoping and praying that Edward and I could have eternity in heaven, he was here living a life that didn't include me anymore. A life that I had no part of; not in his mind and definitely not in his heart. His life went on as if nothing happened while my entire world crumbled and fell apart.

"I never meant anything to you, did I?" The words were barely a whisper but the falter in his steps told me he'd heard them. "Every word you've spoken, every profession of love, every kiss and every touch since you returned has been a lie. I see that now."

He didn't speak a word and a deathly silence filled the house. The weight of it pressed against me, sucking away the small ounce of air I'd managed to take in as I spoke.

_Walk away from him, Bella. That man downstairs isn't your Edward. Your Edward would never forget. Leave him. Save yourself from this agony._

It was true. My Edward was gone and not even the desire in my heart was enough to silence the thoughts born from his words. I had to leave. Say goodbye to this place once and for all and run so far that the man downstairs would never find me. I would have to find a way to say goodbye to my father before the end so he would know that I loved him and missed him more than words could ever say.

Rushing to the window, I split the curtain just enough to peek outside. It was daylight but there was no sun in sight. I could make it to the trees before anyone saw me and I could distance myself from this place and never look back. Opening the curtains further, I placed a hand on the window but stopped before sliding it up.

Fourteen years of praying for a second chance, was I ready to give it all up? Walk away from the love of my life forever?

_Yes. _My mind screamed the word at me as his words passed through my head again.

Edward was physically here with me but the boy who pledged his life and love to me for all eternity was gone. He truly died fourteen years ago, leaving behind a man that didn't belong to me anymore.

_I love you, Edward. Goodbye._

With my final thought, I slid the window opened and jumped.

I made it halfway across the yard before I was yanked off my feet and, with a hand covering my mouth, I was dragged back into the house.

"Get off me!" I screamed as Edward pinned me to the floor in the middle of the kitchen.

"You're not leaving me, Bella!" he yelled back at me. "I just found you and I will not let you go again."

"What do you care?" I choked out the words. "You forgot all about me like I meant nothing."

"I did…"

"See? Then why do you…"

"Stop!" He clapped a hand over my mouth.

The tortured look that filled his eyes halted my fight against him as he began to speak. "I did forget and I will pay for that forever because it meant that I couldn't come back for you the instant I woke up. You hate me for something I had no control over but I swear to you, Bella, the second I remembered, I ran straight here."

He pulled his hand away, his fingers tracing a path across my cheek before placing his hand on the floor beside my head.

"I literally had to fight my father to get here but he was no match for my speed."

He sat back on his legs, allowing me to scramble away from him. He didn't try to stop me. He didn't even look at me as I moved away. I could have run but the haunted look in his eyes cemented me to the floor. Seemingly lost in his own world, he continued.

"I was almost here. Five miles away at most, but I was trapped. The sun held me captive, kept me from breaking through the trees and running straight to you. Then he caught me. Told me if I came here, I would have to steal your life away if I wanted to have you with me."

His eyes focused on me for the first time since he pulled away. The haunted look gave way to a deep sadness that had me wanting to comfort him, but I held back when more words spilled out.

"I couldn't do it, Bella. I would have been forced to kill you and I couldn't do it. You deserved a life. You deserved everything I couldn't give you anymore."

"What kind of life did you expect me to have?"

"Bella, we had always talked about having a family once we were married and I know how much you wanted to be a mother. I couldn't take that from you."

"That dream was lost, Edward," I said softly.

"It didn't have to be," he argued. "You were a beautiful seventeen year old girl, Bella. Your life shouldn't have come to an end simply because mine did. I didn't want you to mourn my death forever. I wanted you to move on, find someone new and live the life that you and I had always dreamed of."

"Simple?" I couldn't believe he used that word to describe the worst part of my life. "You believe losing you was simple, something I could easily put behind me as if it never happened."

I was on my feet, pacing the kitchen while he stared at me, venom filling his eyes.

"No, Angel." He was on his feet blocking my path, hands on my shoulders. "I didn't expect it to be easy…for either one of us."

His last few words cut through me. "Did you try to move on? Was there someone else you…?"

"Never, Bella!" His hands grasped my cheeks, his eyes flickering between mine. "You, my beautiful, sweet girl, have owned my heart since we were five years old. It killed me every day to live without you."

"And you don't believe it was the same for me." I laid my hands on his.

"No, I knew the pain you must have been in, in the beginning, but I didn't want that for you. I wanted you to have a life. A life filled with love and family and children and..."

"You were my life, Edward. There was nothing without you."

"But there could have been." He slid his hands away from my face, grabbing mine and holding them between us. "You could have fallen in love again. You could have had the little boy and girl you always wanted and they would have been beautiful, Bella, because they would have been yours.

"Don't you see, Angel, you were alive with a chance at a real life. I couldn't offer you anything like that anymore. If I had come back for you, you would have had to give up your family, we could have never had children and I would have had to kill you to keep you with me."

Edward took a step closer and pulled me to his chest. I looked up, my eyes claimed his once again and his fingertips grazed my cheek as they found their way into my hair.

"You, Bella...your life was so precious to me that I couldn't imagine killing you. I couldn't take your life. I couldn't watch you die."

"No, Edward, you're the one who doesn't understand. The second you died, there was no life for me." His brow furrowed and the sorrow in his eyes deepened. "My heart was yours and without you, there was no me anymore.

"I did what they asked of me. I made it through every day for them, hoping they wouldn't worry but every breath I was allowed to take…every one that you couldn't, killed the pieces of me that were living just for them, leaving me completely empty and lifeless." I dropped my eyes from his. "I didn't have you. I didn't want them. In the end, death would have been easier."

With a hand against his chest, I pushed out of his arms.

"I wanted to die, Edward," I admitted my weakness, walking past him into the empty family room and he followed. "I used to lie in the middle of this floor every day for months, crying and praying for fate to intervene and take my life. I believed it was the only way we could be together, but I was wrong."

He was standing in the doorway when I turned to face him.

"If I had gotten my wish, I would be completely alone. I could have reached heaven but without you, it would have been like hell for me. I would have spent my eternity alone because you were here. If you had just come back, I could have had everything, the death I had craved for so many months and forever with you."

"I'm here now, Bella," he whispered. "We can have our forever."

"1928," I mumbled, ignoring his words, remembering the year he said he finally came for me.

"What?"

"When you woke up, you didn't remember me." My voice hardened as I spoke his awful words.

"Bella, I'm s…"

I held up a hand to stop him. "I don't want to hear another apology."

He leaned against the wall, arms crossed over his chest and his head down.

"You've said that you couldn't come back in the beginning because you didn't remember me. Then you told me you did and came running. How long did that take?"

He looked up. "How long?" He repeated my question.

"From the time of your change, to the time you came _running_, how much time had passed?"

"Eight months." Guilt flashed across his face. "On my birthday."

"What a _lovely_ birthday present for you," I said sarcastically as I quickly linked the timing of that day in my mind. "I spent your birthday here… in your room… crying… finally saying goodbye to you, to us, to the dream of a perfect life that would never come true."

"Bella, we could st-"

"Did you know," I cut him off, "if you would have come to me once the sun went down, you could have stopped me from running away? Better yet, we could have run away together? The letter was already written. I waited until everyone had fallen asleep before I left. You could have taken me away, made me like you. We wouldn't have had to be apart."

"I wanted to, Bella. But I was afraid."

"What were you afraid of?" I begged for an answer, needing to understand what could possibly keep him away.

"I had never once lied to you but I knew if I came back, I would have to."

"Why would you have to lie?"

"I wanted to come back and live my life with you, but I knew I couldn't tell you the truth about me. I would have had to lie about my death and about where I'd been for those eight months."

"That doesn't explain what you were afraid of."

"At first I was afraid that my absence had hurt you so much that you wouldn't accept me back into your life. But I had faith that our love was strong enough that you would never push me away.

"I could have done it, Angel, but I was afraid of what would happen when you began aging and I didn't. There was no way to explain it to you without telling you the truth and doing so would have ensured your death." A horrified expression crept across his face. "You mocked me before but I _was_ afraid of the Italians, Bella. They're vicious men and I was terrified of what they would do to you if they found out you knew our secret."

"But you could have changed me, Edward. We would have been safe."

"I couldn't ask you to give up…"

I was in front of him in a flash with a hand covering his mouth. Our eyes locked and his face blurred as the venom filled my eyes.

With more emotion than I thought myself capable of, I whispered, "I gave my life to you when you were alive." My hand slid to his cheek. "What made you think I wouldn't have given you forever if you asked for it?"

Slowly, his hand covered mine.

"I wanted that," he whispered back. "I wanted you…so much that I couldn't stay away any longer. But when I came back you were gone."

Bitterness hit me again and I ripped my hand from his, shoving him away from me.

"Ten years later!" I yelled.

"I told you," his voice raised to match mine, "I wanted you to live. I wanted you to be happy."

"Well thank you so much, Edward," I sneered. "I was _so_ happy the day I said goodbye to my fiancé. I could have danced in the streets when my best friend died in my arms. When my family was murdered, I was so filled with joy that I could have broken into song. And when the man who loved me more than his own life was ripped to pieces and burned, the ecstasy I felt could _never_ be matched."

Before I knew it my hand was around his throat, holding him at arm's length against the wall.

"Thank you, Edward, for giving me all the happiness I could have ever asked for."

Tossing him aside, I rushed to the back door, wanting desperately to get away from him. But I wasn't fast enough. Just as the door cracked open, his hand slammed it closed.

"How dare you," he growled and spun me roughly to face him. "You have accused me of not _caring_ for you enough, not _loving_ you enough to come for you after I changed."

His hands crashed against the wall, trapping me in front of him. His eyes darkened and rage marred his features, making him look truly lethal.

"But _you_… you have the gall to speak to me about another man in your life." He spoke through gritted teeth. "A man who loved you. A man you allowed by your side for years while you _claim _to be so in love and grieving over me. So who's lying now, _Isabella_?"

My body stiffened as he spoke my name with so much anger. Never in my life had he spoken my full name and hearing him do so now proved how truly distant we'd become.

"You're calling me a liar!" I shouted. "You're the one…"

"Yes, I was the one who left you.I was the one who walked away. But I was the _only one_ who has spent the last fourteen years alone."

He spit out the last word as his fist punched a hole in the wall next to my head.

"I spent every second of the first decade in agony, forced to live with the choice I'd made." He punched another hole in the wall. "After I had returned and learned you'd run south, that agony turned to torture as I feared for your life. But I didn't know what true torture was until I ran into an old friend of yours."

_Old friend? I have no…_

"She showed me everything," he roared, silencing my thoughts.

Another hole appeared in the wall across the room before I even saw Edward move. He turned his angry, black eyes back on me.

"Every touch, every embrace she showed me ripped my heart out piece by piece until there was nothing left. The hole in my chest burned the day I watched you hold him and run your fingers through his hair. When he leaned in and kissed your neck, I felt as if my soul finally shattered when I saw the smile on your face."

In a flash, he had me pinned against the wall again. If I were human, his grip would have shattered the bones in my shoulders.

"You want me to apologize for your pain, Bella? Prove to me you were in pain because what I witnessed was nothing close to it." Edward was out of the room before I could say a word.

Stunned, I couldn't move while his words weaved through my head. My mind sifted through each sentence, each phrase slowly, putting the pieces together.

He left me. He feared for me.

He was alone. I had Garrett.

He saw us. He saw me. He was watching me.

He knew. She showed him.

A friend. She showed him.

She. She. She.

I was up the stairs before I could blink and found him sitting on the edge of the bed, holding his head in his hands.

"How could you!"

I lunged for him but he ducked. He was on me, pinning me to the floor before I could right myself.

"Who was she?" I screamed, fighting against his grip.

"That's enough," he growled back at me.

"You question my love, but what about you?" I pulled and pulled but couldn't break his grip on my wrists.

"What about me?"

"You lied! You weren't alone! You had her!"

His eyes narrowed in anger, but he had no right. He admitted there was someone else.

"Who was she!"

"No one!" He was across the room in a flash.

"You lie!" I was on my feet, stalking him. "That's all you are, Edward…a liar!"

"Am I?" His movements matched mine. "Your admission was enough. What did you say…eleven years? You had _Garrett_ for eleven years, right, Bella?" He smirked. "And you have nerve to call me a liar."

The way Garrett's name fell with disgust from his lips fueled the hatred flowing through me.

"How dare you! You aren't even worthy to speak his name!"

For an instant, a look of pain crossed his face but the anger in his eyes erased that thought.

"I'm not worthy!" he said in angry disbelief.

"You're not even half the man…" The words died in my throat as a sickening realization dawned on me. "You had her watching me, didn't you?"

"Excuse me?"

"That's how you know about me and Garrett. She told you everything." It all fell into place. "I should have known it was all a lie. You claimed to have searched for me, but that's impossible. No vampire is pathetic enough to search six years for someone without finding a single trace. But you weren't worried about that, were you. Everything you've said was a lie. You've known all along where I was."

"Is that what you think?" he yelled.

"What happened, Edward?" I shouted over him. "Did she start to bore you? Did she not want you anymore? Is that why you finally came back?"

Without thinking, I had been moving closer and closer to him while we fought. Now standing a foot away from him, I wanted nothing more than to rip his throat out, but I fought the urge as another thought hit me.

"It was my father, wasn't it?" I grabbed his shirt in my fist and pushed until his back met the wall. "You didn't believe I would take you back, so you used his illness to worm your way back in. You used a dying man to gain my affections. You're pathetic. A wretched excuse for the boy I _used to_ love."

His roar was deafening and cracks formed in the wall behind me as he broke my grip and slammed me into the opposite wall.

"Don't you _dare_ say another word!"

"What? Can't admit the truth?" I taunted him.

"If that is your truth," his voice was low…menacing, "then I wish I would have never found you. _My Bella is dead_ and you could never take her place."

He let me go and for the second time today, he had crushed me without a single blow.

Edward's eyes widened and he backed away as a horrified look crossed his face. "No," he whispered before he ran from the room.

My body went numb and I was on the ground before he even reached the door. The ache I'd lived with all these years came back with crippling force, leaving me clutching my chest. But I couldn't cry. I couldn't let him know how much he'd hurt me.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, the pain increased a thousand times. The sound of wood splintering forced my eyes open to see my fingers digging into the floorboards underneath me.

"Oh God." It hurt too much and the words slipped.

"Make it stop." Edward's agonized groan reached my ears.

It was the same. He was in pain just as I was.

I wanted to go to him, comfort him, but before I could move, another sound reached my ears – tires rolling down the street. Tires that stopped in front of my parents' house. My parents were home.

A second later a car door slammed, footsteps moved quickly down the sidewalk, the door crashed against the wall and my mother's scream filled the air.

"Renee!" Mrs. Jones' panicked voice rang out as I heard her rush to my mother. "What's wrong, honey?"

My mother wouldn't stop crying long enough to answer.

"Renee…sweetheart." My father finally spoke.

"What did you do to her?" Mrs. Jones yelled.

His only answer was to break down and cry with my mother, mumbling, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

My mother was inconsolable, repeating the word 'no' over and over again.

"Oh, Bella, no." Edward's voice intruded on their moment. "Don't listen, my love. Please don't."

Before I could ask what he meant, my father's broken voice caught my ear.

"I promised her, Maggie." He took a labored breath. "I promised her forever, but I won't make it that far."

Mrs. Jones gasped and my mother cried harder.

"Weeks," he said quietly. "That's all he's giving me."

"Daddy, no!"

The sound was deafening as I flew out the door and crashed into Edward. His arms locked around me, holding me as tight as he could.

"Let go of me!" I struggled to get free.

His words were quiet in my ear. "I'm sorry, Bella."

"I have to see him!"

"No, Bella, you can't."

My arms swung wildly, trying to get him away from me. "Let me go!"

"I can't." He held one arm down, turning me, pinning my back to his chest. "Bella, please, don't do this."

"Edward, please," I begged. "He's dying, please. I have to."

"I know, Angel. I know how much you want to see him, but I can't let you go."

Clawing at his arms, I screamed again for him to let me go. He refused.

"I can't, Bella. They'll kill you if they find out."

"I don't care!" I yelled as I took his arm, stepped back into him and flipped him over my shoulder.

The instant his back hit the floor I ran but, again, he was faster and he grabbed my ankle to stop me. I braced myself on the handrail to keep myself from falling and just as I regained my balance, Edward jumped to his feet. Anticipating his attempt to grab me, I struck first.

In less than a second, his arms were at the bottom of the stairs and I was about to turn and run. Before I could take a step, a blinding pain hit me, knocking every ounce of air from my lungs and I collapsed.

Venom filled my eyes and my heart shattered all over again as I saw Edward on the floor, screaming and writhing in pain. How could I? How could I have hurt him so badly when all he wanted to do was protect me? What kind of monster was I that I could do such a thing to the man I loved more than anything in this world?

"Bella."

Edward's agonized groan brought me back to the moment. Back to him. Fighting through my own pain, I rushed down the stairs, grabbed the pieces I had so cruelly thrown away and hurried back to him.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, dropping to my knees next to him. "I'm so sorry, my love. I'll fix it. I promise I'll fix it."

Ripping his shirt from his body, I held one arm in place until the pieces began to fuse together. The instant it held steady, I did the same thing to the other. With a firm grip locked on each shoulder, I held him together as I leaned into him, laying my head on his chest.

I held still, breathing in his scent, shutting out the world around me and losing myself in him. Two days ago, seeing Edward in that alley turned my world upside down and I didn't know what to do anymore.

For years, I had fought side by side with Garrett – fighting in the southern wars, fighting other nomads, fighting each other. He taught me to be ruthless. He taught me to stand strong. To never show fear. To never show weakness.

And I never had…until now.

Edward Masen was my weakness.

I loved him. I'd loved him my entire life, but I hurt him. I'd done nothing_ but_ hurt him, emotionally and physically, from the very instant I'd laid eyes on him. I had been cruel and heartless and with the way he had walked away from me only minutes ago, he'd made it clear he wanted nothing to do with me.

My grip tightened, too afraid to let go. Too afraid he would leave me again after what I had said…after what I'd done. Stricken with the fear of losing him, my mind screamed an apology.

_Please, Edward. Please, my love, forgive me for hurting you. Forgive me for all of it. I'll do better… I'll try harder. I swear to you, I will. I can't lose you. Not again._

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><p><strong>Is it enough to say that they're finally talking? Or that Bella is finally realizing that she'll lose him if she doesn't change? Then again the jump from realizing it and doing it is huge.<strong>

**As always, thank you so much to every new reader that has hit the alert and favorite button. It means a lot to me that you're reading this little story. For all of you who've been with me all along, thanks again for giving Edward and Bella the love you do. Big hugs to everyone. You are all the best. Until next time…much love to you all – D**


	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story. **

**Many thanks to my amazing team. I couldn't do this without you: ellachanted, Kate22689 and AgoodWITCH Love ya tons, ladies. **

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 27 Recap: Bella wanted to leave Edward behind when he told her he didn't remember her, but he caught her before she could run. They had the first decent conversation since meeting again, but it didn't end well. Bella got upset when Edward told her he had a woman with him while he searched for her and Edward got angry about her reaction and threw her time with Garrett back at her. Both said things they didn't mean and Edward walked away, leaving them both hurt. On top of their emotional turmoil, Bella overheard her mother crying because they learned her father only has weeks to live. She wanted to go to him but Edward stopped her. Bella fought to get away, ripping his arms off in the process. The pain hurt them both and while Bella held him together, she begged for forgiveness and promised to try and never hurt him again.<em>

_Caught up? Good…now, on with the story._

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><p><strong>Chapter 28<strong>

**EPOV**

My body stilled and I forced myself to keep silent as the unimaginable pain began to subside and I was able to think clearly again.

Carlisle had never warned me. In all our discussions, he'd never once told me what this felt like – the feeling of being ripped apart, the burn as my body fused itself back together. I'd felt nothing like it…ever. The only thing calming me now was the girl holding me together.

Bella's hands on my arms, her head on my chest felt almost tender…sincere. But that wasn't what this was. She wasn't holding me the way I wanted her to. It wasn't because she loved me. She did it out of guilt and atonement for what she'd done. But who was I to blame her?

I knew of the violent nature of the nomadic vampires and Bella was no different. The color of her eyes told as much and in our short time together, I had learned that she was very volatile and attacking any threat seemed second nature to her.

I wasn't surprised when her first instinct was to fight against me, trying her best to eliminate her threat and reach her father. I had anticipated her reaction, though I wasn't completely ready for the consequence. When she calmed, it was her words as she held me that surprised me the most.

She begged for forgiveness but it wasn't necessary. I couldn't blame her for doing what was in our nature to do and I couldn't blame her for her words before as mine were just as deplorable.

Jealousy caused me to say things I shouldn't have, things I didn't mean to say and my words hurt her just as badly as her words hurt me. Shamefully, I would have continued had it not been for Renee.

I'd heard the car seconds before I heard her voice. When I saw no reaction from Bella, I knew instantly that I'd heard Renee's thoughts when she screamed at God for taking Charlie away from her so soon. Hearing those words drained the anger away from me, giving me back the strength I needed to walk away.

The distance didn't matter, though. The second I was away from her, the ache in my chest nearly crippled me and I dropped to the floor at the bottom of the stairs. With the pain came guilt as my words ran through my mind.

I called her a liar. I told her I wished I'd never found her and when she accused me of having some sort of tryst with Victoria, I never once refuted her claim. Again, jealousy over her time with Garrett tied my tongue and wouldn't allow me to speak the truth.

Bella wasn't the one who needed forgiveness…I was. For the lie I'd created when I held the truth from her. A truth I couldn't hide any longer.

"There was never another woman, Bella. Never once after you."

They weren't the first words I wanted to say, but as I lay quietly in the middle of the floor – my body finally healed from the most excruciating pain I'd ever felt – they were the most important words I could ever say.

Her head lifted, her hands left my shoulders and her eyes caught mine just as my newly healed arms snapped around her, refusing to allow her to run from me again.

"I'm sorry if I led you to believe there was ever another woman in my life because that is just not true."

Bella stared at me, not speaking but I could see the questions in her eyes. She looked as if she wanted to believe me but was afraid to at the same time. Her doubt sliced through me, leaving me bare and open to her, desperate to give her every truth she could ever ask for. Wanting nothing more than to put her fears to rest, I took a chance and lifted my hand from her back, placing it gently on her cheek.

"For as long as I can remember, you were the only girl I cared about, the only girl I had ever allowed into my heart. I'm sorry I forgot that for a time but once my memory returned, you have been the only one to hold any place in my heart. No woman in this world could ever compare to you, Bella, and any that would have tried were all told that my heart belonged to you and only you."

Her eyes held more questions and I wanted to answer every one of them, but this one truth had to come first. She needed to know she could trust me with her heart before we could ever move on.

Not wanting to have this conversation while lying on the floor, I moved quickly to sit against the wall and pulled Bella sideways onto my lap. Still too afraid she'd run, I kept an arm around her waist and held one of her hands in mine.

"Though I shouldn't have said it the way I did, I wasn't lying when I said the other woman was a friend of yours. In the beginning, I think she was," remembering Victoria's memories, I rephrased my words, "or she wanted to be."

Her eyes narrowed and I saw disbelief burning in their depths.

"Her name was Victoria."

Bella's eyes widened and then hardened just as quickly. "Victoria!" she exploded. "You were with… How dare y-"

"No, Bella, no."

My grip around her tightened as my hand clamped over her mouth, needing her to stay and listen. She had to hear me. She had to know I would never do such a thing.

"You have to believe me, Bella, I would never…" I stopped myself.

Begging would get me nowhere. If I wanted her to listen I had to stay calm and explain everything. "Please just listen."

When she stilled, I removed my hand from her mouth and held her a little closer as I told her my story.

"The first time I came home I overheard your father reading your letter and knew you were gone. It was the same night he fought with your mother." Her body tensed. I knew she didn't want to be reminded of that time so I continued quickly. "When everything calmed down, the three of them were, once again, determined to find you, so your father began detailing the places he had searched in the nine years you'd been gone. As his search took him farther and farther south, I panicked.

"My father had told me stories of the southern wars. The brutality and violence that went on down there was like nothing I'd ever heard before. Believing you were still human and moving south, right into harm's way, I feared for your life. I knew I had to find you and do everything in my power to keep you safe."

"But," she interrupted, "if you believed I was still human, how would finding me, wherever I was, change your desire to leave me that way. You didn't want to change me, Edward. You said so yourself."

"In the beginning that was true," I responded, following her tangent. "I wanted you to remain human. To live and be happy. But after leaving my mother and father…"

"That's the fourth time now," she jumped in again, angry. "You said your parents were dead. Why would you lie?"

"It's not a lie. My parents, Edward and Elizabeth, passed in 1918," I clarified. "My creator, Carlisle Cullen, changed me, cared for me and loved me as a father would and, in time, I began to see him as such. When he married…"

"He got married?" Her voice was disbelieving as she cut me off one more time.

"Bella, please," I said, my voice impatient.

This wasn't what I wanted to talk about, but she had to have so many questions running through her head. I couldn't deny her a simple answer.

"After centuries alone, Carlisle found his soul mate, Esme, and changed her. They fell deeply in love and married shortly after. Esme loved and accepted me as her own son and the three of us lived as a family for years before I left them."

Bella's look of disgust couldn't be masked and, after what little she'd revealed of her life earlier, I understood why. Not wanting to hurt her with details of my family, I moved on.

"The decision to come home wasn't easy for me." I slid my hand to hers, lightly caressing the back of her hand while I continued. "For so many years, your happiness was everything I wished for, but once I was faced with the possibility of actually seeing you with another man, I didn't believe my heart would survive such a blow.

"After days of agonizing over the choice, I decided to return but only after making a promise to myself. If you were happy like I wanted you to be, I would leave and never return. But if you weren't… If you were even half as miserable as I was, I would have gone to you, on my knees if necessary, and begged you to take me back. I would have confessed everything and I would have changed you if that was what you wanted.

"I was dying inside. Every day without you was pure torture and just the thought of having you with me again was a lure I couldn't resist any longer. I ran back as fast as I could but when I heard the pain you were in and where you'd gone, I went after you."

Looking at her now, Bella's eyes were closed, pinched tight as if she were in pain.

"Bella." Her eyes remained closed.

"Angel." Nothing.

Removing my hand from hers, I cupped her cheek and turned her face to mine.

"I scoured the southern states searching for you."

The tightness in her eyes relaxed as they opened slightly, though, she still wouldn't look at me. I lowered my hand to hers again and continued.

"It wasn't that there were no traces of you. There were still people who remembered you but their memories were old, unreliable, none of them left me a decent trail to follow. So I searched every city, every town, every state and found nothing.

"By the time I reached Texas, the thread of hope I'd been clinging to for years was threatening to break. I didn't know where to go or where to look; I was lost. That's when she found me."

"Victoria." One whispered word was all it took for me to hear Bella's hatred for Victoria.

I went on as if I didn't hear her. "At first, I perceived her as a threat and instinct took over. I had her pinned to the ground with my hand around her throat, ready to kill her."

The corner of Bella's mouth turned up in a smirk. Whether it was the thought of me killing Victoria or the simple fact that Victoria would be dead, seeing the joy it gave her was disturbing and left me on edge. The feeling forced me to remember how different my Bella really was.

Taking a breath, I went on. "I was stunned when she told me she knew you and I questioned her relentlessly, wanting to know everything. After she answered my questions, she offered to help me find you."

"I'm sure she did." Her eyes finally met mine; the red had turned coal black. "What did she tell you, Edward?" she growled. "Did she tell you what great friends we were?"

"She tried," I said before she could continue. "She didn't hide her true feelings well, though, and I saw how much she hated you."

"Then why did you stay with her?"

"By the time I met her I was desperate. I didn't know where else to look and she gave me some direction. I thought, at first, she was your friend and I believed she truly wanted to help."

"She wanted me dead," Bella snarled.

"I figured that out."

"Then why?"

"Bella," I reached up to hold her cheeks in my hands, "I would have done anything to find you, including run with someone who wanted you dead." The corner of my mouth lifted into a smirk. "Who better to align myself with than someone who wanted to find you almost as much as I did?"

Leaning back a little, she removed herself from my grasp.

"With as much as she hated me, I'm sure she was very helpful." She let a tiny smile slip before she masked it again and asked, "How did you lose her? She was hell bent on revenge, Edward. I can't imagine she would give up until I was nothing but a pile of ashes."

"I didn't have to." Her brow furrowed slightly. "She claimed to have followed you to the coast, so we headed east to search. We searched the entire coastline until we were met with another ocean at the southern tip of Florida.

"Disheartened again with my lack of results, I sat on the beach, trying to think. Victoria was whining behind me and I tried my best to ignore her but some of her rambling leaked through. I was glad it did as she mentioned something about the mountains and I suddenly realized I had been looking in the wrong direction the entire time.

"Running west gave me more hope than I'd felt in years. I could feel myself getting closer to you." One hand held hers as the other covered my heart. "We've had this connection forever, Bella. I don't know how to explain it. It was the strangest feeling, something I could never describe, but I allowed it to lead me, knowing it was taking me to you."

She was about to interrupt but I stopped her with a finger to her lips.

"I would have continued until I had you in my arms again but Victoria's incessant complaining and murderous thoughts nearly sent me over the edge. As we made our way into Galveston, I left her for a time to hunt and clear my head.

"While we were apart, I contemplated leaving her behind and heading straight for you but after a second thought, I knew I couldn't do that."

"But you said…" Bella started but I cut her off quickly, knowing what she was about to say.

"It wasn't because I wanted or even needed her around, because I didn't. Honestly, with everything I'd heard from her, she was lucky to still be alive."

A tiny smirk crept across Bella's lips as I talked about killing Victoria. I had to look away for a second to center myself. That change in her was going to take some time to get used to. With a breath, I continued.

"I knew I couldn't just leave her because she was still determined to see you dead. She left me no option, I had to kill her. It was the only way to protect you."

"You killed her." Her smirk widened to a full smile, a spark lit her eyes and she sounded happier than I'd heard her in two days.

I hated this part of her – the evil side to my once sweet, innocent angel – but I had to remember the life she lived compared to mine. While I didn't know the details, I knew she didn't have the compassionate, loving family that I had. Hers was harder and more violent than anything I'd had to live through.

"Yes, I killed her," I answered then proceeded to explain. "When I'd returned to our meeting place, there was another man there with her."

"Another man?"

"Another vampire. He claimed we were in his territory and saw us as a threat. He had her at his mercy and was waiting on me to come and save her."

"But you killed her first?" She was far too excited by the prospect.

"Only because I had to." My words came out harder than I intended but she had to see I didn't relish in killing her. "He mistook me for her mate and tried to give me a choice…her life for mine. But I knew he was going to kill us both no matter what choice I made."

A low growl rumbled in Bella's chest and I tried not to smile. My hand tightened on her waist a bit in response.

"I'm not a fighter, Bella," I admitted. "I knew the only way to save myself was to take him by surprise. So, when he told me to make my choice, I told him he could kill her. I don't believe he was ready for that answer and he hesitated. I took that hesitation and made my move.

"Victoria's head was on the ground a split second before he attacked."

"Wait a minute!"

Bella pushed my hand away, standing over me in a flash. Her hand covered her mouth but she moved it to speak.

"You were in Galveston."

I stood to put us on the same level when I answered. "Yes."

"You were in _his_ territory." She suddenly looked panicked. "He attacked you? How did you…?" She trailed off and began pacing.

"Bella?"

She didn't answer, instead shocking me as her body slammed into mine as she hugged me.

"Oh God, Edward. He could have killed you?"

"What's going on, Bella?" Confused, I pulled back, resting a hand on her cheek. "What has you so upset?"

"I don't understand. How are you here?" Her eyes searched my face. "He's vicious…deadly. No one lives when they stand against him."

"Who?"

I couldn't imagine she'd known him. If he was so deadly, how would she have survived a meeting with him? What exactly had she been through all these years?" The thought made me fear for her all over again.

"Major Whitlock."

"Major?" The title caught me by surprise.

She nodded. "Garrett and I…"

Bella growled again, louder this time, and the sound echoed through the hallway as she pushed away from me. I stood speechless as I watched her sit at the edge of the stairs with her back to me and her head in her hands.

"God, I'm sorry, Edward."

I was about to ask what she was apologizing for when she released a breath and spoke again.

"I was taught to live in the shadows, to hide everywhere I went. But when I got to the south, I didn't have to hide anymore. Our kind ruled the streets and I was in a place where I didn't have to hold back anymore."

Her words worried me. They weren't what I thought I would hear from her. Wanting to be there for her through her confession, I sat down beside her and took her hand.

"Feeding was easy there and I could take anyone I wanted. I had to kill several of our kind when they got in my way and I thought nothing of it. Until I found myself on the wrong side of a battle."

My breath stopped and I squeezed her hand harder. Just the thought of her fighting in the southern wars was too much for me.

"The battle went on for hours but once the Major got involved, there were vampires dying all around me. He was ruthless. He could kill in a fraction of a second once he had his hands on someone. His dominance mesmerized me and I couldn't do anything but watch as he came closer, making his way toward me.

"Garrett wasn't quite as enthralled as I was and he pulled me out. He was afraid for both of us and got us out before anything could happen."

Fighting against Jasper Whitlock myself, I understood Garrett's fear for their lives and as much as I hated to admit it, I owed the man everything for saving Bella from the fight. For saving her life.

"We took shelter in an abandoned farm house about a hundred miles from the fight. We both needed to feed and it was close enough to the city that we could slip in and out without worry. By the time we returned, our abandoned house wasn't anymore.

"The instant I caught their scent, I was ready to fight. Garrett was the one to hold me back when he saw Victoria step from the shadows. He was infuriatingly calm, talking to her and acting as if she wasn't a threat to us. I wasn't fooled for a second."

The growl came from deep in her chest again. I inched closer and slid an arm around her shoulders to calm her.

"When her mate came through the door, I should have pulled Garrett from the house and ran as far as we could." I could sense her anger building with every word she spoke about James. "Staying was my first mistake."

In a move I didn't expect, Bella laid her head on my shoulder.

"How did you get away from him, Edward?" Her voice was softer as she quickly changed the subject.

This was my old Bella coming through. She always changed the subject when she didn't want to talk. I wanted to hear more but I knew if I pushed her, she would shut down. It was always her way.

"I fought against him." Her body tensed. "He was smart, quick and he might have taken me down, but I was faster than he was." I smirked, remembering the look on his face when he realized he couldn't beat me. "He hated me for that."

Her head lifted and her glistening eyes met mine as her hand move to my cheek.

"I've seen him fight, Edward. He was so brutal. Hate would have made that worse."

Her touch felt like fire against my skin, sending a jolt straight to my heart. Unthinking, I reached up to hold her hand against my cheek, not willing to lose this connection between us.

"He cheated," I said, hearing the bitterness in my voice. "I don't know how. I can't explain it. He was able to control me somehow."

Linking my fingers through hers, I brought our joined hands down to my lap.

"He could have killed me easily, but he didn't. He taunted me, trying to make me feel worthless, like I wasn't worth his time or the effort it would take to kill me."

"Why would he…?"

"I had collapsed," I went on, cutting off her sentence, "completely unable to move while he stalked me, questioning me relentlessly, wanting to know what I was doing in _his woods_. He believed I was some kind of scout, looking for information about him and his strategies…his secrets." Bella's fingers tightened around mine. "I told him I knew nothing of him or his woods and I didn't care."

My eyes dropped and, seeing our fingers tangled together, I took a deep breath before continuing quietly, afraid of her reaction to my words.

"I told him I didn't care who he was because I was passing through the woods while looking for you." Ignoring her small gasp, I went on. "He called me pathetic and worthless and I wanted to rip him apart but I couldn't fight back in any way."

There was another tiny rumbling in her chest but when she didn't interrupt me, I continued.

"I was helpless…an easy kill, and if what you say about him is true, it made no sense for him to let me go." Kneeling quickly on the step in front her, I took her face in my hands. "I thank God every day for his mercy because it allowed me to find you again."

She gasped. "But you said…"

"I know what I said and I'm sorry. I was angry and hurt."

Shame coursed through me as I walked away from her this time, leaning against the wall in the hallway and focusing on the floor.

"I know I said I wanted you to move on and I honestly believed I could live with that choice, but in every scenario I had ever envisioned, you were human. I could have conceded to another man because I couldn't bring myself to take your life. But that changed when Victoria found me and I realized you had been changed."

Her hand on my shoulder started me. "Why would that make a difference?"

I turned to her and reached out to touch her cheek.

"Don't you understand, Bella? My whole reason for staying away was to allow you the life I thought you wanted. To give you the opportunity to grow old and have the family you deserved. When I found out you had gone, my only thought was to find you and keep you safe.

"Then Victoria found me and I had learned you were like me. You can't imagine how happy I was to know there was finally a chance for us. But that happiness was ripped from me when I saw you with Garrett."

Dropping my hand, I took a step away from her.

"Believing I'd lost you nearly killed me but when she told me _he_ was your mate, anger filled every part of me and I wanted to rip him apart. I wanted to find you and fight for you and show you that you belonged with me, not him.

"I wanted you to remember that you were my girl. That we were meant for each other, forever."

"Then how could you give up so easily?" she asked, with tears in her eyes.

"Give up?"

"The Major calls you worthless and pathetic because you're looking for me and you stop."

The look of pain on her face was enough to crush me. I couldn't believe she said such thing.

"How could you think…?" She didn't allow me to finish.

"How long has it been since you fought him? Six months? A year? Maybe two?" Her pain turned to a look of desperation. "What happened to that feeling, Edward? The one you said was leading you to me. Why didn't you follow it after he walked away?"

The look on her face broke my heart as she started backing away from me.

"You said you would fight for me? How could you let his words keep you from me?"

Bella turned to run but I caught her before she could make it to the stairs. Her body collapsed as I wrapped my arms around her. There was no fight in her this time. Her body heaved with the tears she couldn't cry as she let grief take over.

I pulled her tight to my chest and leaned down to whisper in her ear. "I never gave up on you, Angel. I swear to you, aside from my few trips home, I searched for you every second of every day for the past six years…even after my fight with _the Major_."

I growled as I said his name. If he hadn't distracted me and wasted my time, I might have found Bella years earlier.

"I was so close to catching you twice, but you slipped right through my fingers. When that happened and I would get discouraged, I would always return here to center myself and come up with a new plan."

"What does that mean?"

She looked up at me, her onyx eyes rimmed in red. Taking a huge chance, I placed a light kiss on her forehead. Her eyes softened slightly and I smiled.

"Let me show you."

My smile grew as she took my hand and I led her to my parents' bedroom door. I could almost feel the curiosity that was so plain on her face. Releasing her hand, I took a step behind her and placed my hands on her hips. Her eyes followed me until she was turned halfway around.

I nodded toward the door. "Open it."

Her brow furrowed.

"Trust me."

With a small nod, she reached out and turned the doorknob. She gasped again as the door opened and her eyes landed on the huge map lying in the middle of the floor.

A minute passed without a single movement as she stood frozen in place. Nervous about her reaction, I urged her forward a step. It was enough, though, and Bella moved slowly into the room.

She came to a stop in front of the map and I let her go as she dropped to her knees. She moved her fingers over it, creating imaginary lines that connected the dots between cities.

"Edward."

My name was just a whisper, compelling me to my knees next to her. I reached out a hand to push her hair over her shoulder so I could see her face.

"I never stopped looking, Angel."

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><p><strong>Could this be it? Could these two finally be back on the road to love? We'll see if this lasts.<strong>

**As always, thank you so much for all the love you give this story. It means more to me than you will ever know. Big hugs to everyone. You are all the best. Until next time…much love to you all – D**


	29. Chapter 29

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story. **

**Many thanks to my amazing team. I couldn't do this without you: ellachanted, Kate22689 and AgoodWITCH Love ya tons, ladies. **

**A/N: I have to apologize. I don't think I've ever taken this long to update a chapter for this story. I will do my absolute best to not let that happen again.**

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><p><em>Chapter 28 Recap: Once Edward was put back together again, he and Bella had another real conversation. He told her there had never been any other woman after her, which led him to explain about Victoria. That explanation also led him to reveal that he was involved in a fight with none other than Jasper Whitlock. Relieved that he'd survived, Bella shared her own dealings with "The Major" and how Garrett took her away to protect her from him. She begins to explain how she knew Victoria but quickly changed the subject back to Jasper. The subject changes again back to Edward giving up on his search for her. Nothing he says convinces her, so he does the only thing he can…he gives her proof.<em>

_Caught up? Good…now, on with the story._

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><p><strong>Chapter 29<strong>

**BPOV**

The second the door opened and I saw the map draped across the floor, I couldn't move. The entire eastern side was covered in little black dots. There was another cluster running along the northern border and several more spreading into Canada.

My heart clenched and a wave of guilt washed over me. I had spent the past two days calling him a liar, accusing him of letting me go and giving up on me. _How does he not hate me right now? How is he still standing here holding me when I've treated him so badly?_

A small push from behind helped clear my head and I took a step into the room. As if in a dream, my legs moved in slowly, carrying me to middle of the room. My knees hit the floor and without thinking, my fingers touched the map, traveling through the cities he'd marked.

"Edward." His name slipped from my lips as my vision blurred.

"I never stopped looking, Angel?" he whispered and the pressure in my chest increased.

He'd been everywhere. How could I have doubted him? Ashamed, my head dropped to my hands.

"It took me years, but I never gave up."

_Oh god, Edward. I'm so sorry._

He pulled me into his arms. "Don't be sorry, my sweet girl. I can imagine how hard it was to believe after all these years."

Releasing me, he held my face in his hands again.

"I left you behind once and when I came home and found you gone, I made a vow to myself and also to you that I would never give you up again. I promised to move heaven and earth to find you and keep you with me forever."

"But all this." I leaned away from him and motioned to the map covered in black dots. "How did you go all these places and never find me?"

He chuckled and the sound made me smile.

"I've asked myself the same question."

I leaned closer and ran my fingers across the blackest part of the map.

"Louisiana was fun," I whispered, remembering our time there. "Feeding was so easy there." My hand slid farther down. "But it was nothing like Mexico."

A million memories of our year in that volatile area came flooding back to me.

"In Mexico, my prey came to me. They were everywhere and sometimes I had to fight a few vampires who had tried to take what was mine, but Garrett taught me well and they died quickly."

_Stop it, Bella. Stop hurting him by speaking of Garrett._

I ran my hand up to the dot covering Galveston.

"When were you here?"

The question had been burning in my mind since I saw the map. I didn't understand how he could have been everywhere I had without finding me.

"I crossed through Galveston in 1930, late May to be exact."

We weren't even on the same continent while he was searching for me.

"It makes sense now."

"Bella?"

"May 1930," I answered his unspoken question, "I was making my way through Asia."

"You were in Asia," he asked in disbelief.

My fingers made a path across the map to the east coast of Maine, to the black dot covering the very spot Garrett and I walked into the ocean.

"A friend of Garrett's found us in the mountains and while they spoke, the man told him of his recent trip to Europe. Knowing Victoria was still hunting me, Garrett thought it would be the perfect time to take me away.

"We left from here," I said with a grin, remembering our fun on the beach. "I wanted to travel by ship, our own personal buffet, but Garrett wouldn't allow it. He knew I couldn't be confined that way so he brought me to this point and we swam the ocean to get there."

I turned to Edward and his eyes were wide with a look of surprise.

"Didn't you know we could swim like that?" I asked excitedly. "It was amazing, Edward. Someday I'll take you…"

"Darling. Are you awake?"

My father's voice rang through the air and my head snapped toward the sound. Edward's hands were on me immediately and I reached out for him, holding myself against him to keep from running for the door.

"Don't let me go," I whispered.

"Never," he whispered back.

Wrapped in Edward's arms, I listened as my mother groaned her answer.

"How are you feeling?" my father asked.

"Better now," my mother answered.

"I brought you something to eat."

"I'm not hungry." She still sounded sad.

He sighed heavily. "You need to eat, Sweetheart. We can't have _you_ getting sick now."

Anger bubbled in my chest.

"He's the one dying. Why isn't she taking care of him?" I growled.

"He loves her," Edward responded, "and it hurts him to see her in so much pain."

"But what about his pain?" I pushed against Edward's chest and he let me out of his arms, his hands finding mine instead. "Does she not care about the pain he's in?"

"Of course she cares, Bella, but she's lost in her misery. She has begged for more time. For death not to take him so soon." His hand covered my cheek. "The thought of losing him and the prospect of a life alone came too soon for her and the pain is too great for her to bear."

Edward stood quickly and swept me from my feet, carrying me into his bedroom. He placed me gently on the bed and kneeled in front of me.

"Can you not understand her pain?" he asked. "You suffered terribly when you learned of my death. It kills me to think of the pain you were in, but how much more would you have suffered if you had to watch me die?"

The anguish I had lived through nearly sent me to my own death. I never believed anything could compare with that pain, but I was wrong. Just the thought of watching Edward suffer, watching him die as I sat helplessly by, unable to do a thing to help him would have surely killed me.

"You cannot fault her for her sorrow. Losing your only love leaves a hole in your heart and in your life that takes time to heal."

"You think I don't know that," I growled.

He lifted one of my hands and kissed it. "We both do."

"But you…"

"Please don't say it," his face fell and his fingers squeezed mine. "Letting you go was the biggest mistake of my life, one I wouldn't dare repeat. But you and I know the pain she's in and how hard it is to endure. You can't be upset with your mother for feeling that same grief over losing your father."

I threw myself at him, tightening my arms around his neck.

_Thank you, Edward._

"How do you always know what to say to make things better?"

His lips touched my neck as he chuckled and leaned back.

"I know you here," he fingers brushed my temple then his hand rested over my heart, "and I know you here. My words are a reflection of what you would say to me if I was in your place."

He brought his hand up to caress my cheek. His touch felt like fire against my skin and I leaned toward his hand, relishing in the heat.

"And you don't have to thank me, Angel. I will always do anything, say anything to see you happy again."

I pushed his hand away. "What did you say?"

He smiled. "I would do anything for you."

"No," I shook my head, jumping away from him, "before that. You said… You know…? How could you know…?"

"Know what, Angel? Please tell me what's wrong."

He stood, taking a step toward me and my body instantly went into a crouch.

"Stay away from me, Edward."

"Bella, what's going on?" Pain settled on his face. "Talk to me, Angel."

He took another step and a growl rumbled in my chest.

"Don't move!" I shouted.

"Bella?"

"Don't say another word!"

Keeping my eyes on him, I took a step to my left. Edward stepped back.

"I should have known."

One more step left and Edward backed up again.

"I should have figured it out."

Two more steps and Edward was backed against the far wall.

"Were you going to tell me?" My right hand reached behind me and lifted the window.

"Bella, don't…"

"Do not speak." My low, warning growl widened his eyes. "I'm not safe with you."

I didn't give a single thought to the time of day, or whether the sun was in the sky or not, or whether I would be seen or not, I jumped from the window before he could say a word and ran.

Thankfully under the cover of darkness, I ran for miles, in and out of the shadows, finally stopping when I reached the trees. My body stilled, my eyes closed and I listened, waiting for the sound of his pursuit.

There was no question he would follow me. It was just a matter of when. How far behind me was he? Hearing nothing, my eyes opened and I ran a little further, covering my tracks before jumping into the trees.

_I could lose him in the trees._

The thought was comforting until I remembered why I ran in the first place. Edward wasn't normal. He wasn't safe. He was one of them.

I would never forget the first. We had met the blonde vampire in Memphis. She ran with us, fed with us and shared in the shelter we had created when we moved on to the next city. She had gained Garrett's trust quickly and the two became extremely close. Never trusting her, I had tried to warn him but he dismissed me as if nothing I said mattered to him.

It wasn't until we had reached the southern coast of Mississippi that her true intentions became clear.

Unable to stand their lust driven desires another second, I had left them alone while I went out to feed. I'd searched an entire day before I found a suitable target and once I had my fill, I returned only to overhear her giving him an order to kill me.

She wanted him for herself and I stood in her way.

I never believed he'd do it but the instant he lunged for me, I proved how much I'd learned. It was the most brutal fight we'd ever been in and hurting him wasn't my intent but I had to go through him to get to her. She caused this. She changed him. She needed to die.

Garrett lost his legs just before taking my arm and without him trying to stop me, I chased her down, catching her a few miles away. Even with one arm, she was no match for me and her head was mine.

We learned later that she'd been able to manipulate his mind, change his thoughts and make him do whatever she wanted. People like her were dangerous and we had met a few along the way, just as evil as she was. Not all could control the mind but each one used their extra abilities to harm us in some way. Once they did, each one met their end…violently.

To learn Edward had the same ability was too much to bear. Finding him again was a miracle, how could fate be so cruel to send him to me again if he was dangerous?

A snapping branch turned my head and silenced my thoughts.

"Bella," he called as he ran underneath me.

The width of the tree hid me easily and I ducked behind it when I saw him look up. Not seeing me, he bolted forward again searching through the false trails I had laid. He was still calling my name when he finally disappeared from my sight.

_Nice try, Edward_. _Goodbye._

I jumped from one tree to the next widening the distance between us before his next words penetrated the air.

"No, Bella, don't go. I don't know what I said to anger or hurt you, but I'm sorry. To the depths of my soul, I'm sorry."

Silently, I chastised myself for being so stupid. I knew he could hear me, hear my thoughts and I was careless enough to give him a breadcrumb to follow.

"Please, I wouldn't survive losing you again."

Looking around the tree toward the sound of his voice, I saw him far off in the distance and watched as he dropped to his knees.

"You are my heart and soul, Bella. I have no life…want no life without you."

My heart pulled at me to go to him, but I wouldn't. Instead, I protected myself, keeping my distance and watching as his hands began to pull at his hair.

"But if you don't want me, I will let you go. Your happiness is all I've ever wanted and if it that doesn't include me anymore, then I'll go. I'll run as far from here as I'm able and never look back."

He stayed silent then, looking around and listening, hoping I would answer or give some clue to where I was. I remained frozen, watching as he waited – too afraid to go to him, too in love to leave.

Still, I watched as his hands hit the ground and he crumpled into a ball. His sob broke my heart and I stifled my own cry as the ache in my chest grew. When he stood once more, I selfishly hoped it was to resume his search, but his words crushed my hopes.

"I know you can hear me, Angel, and your silence has given me your answer. Never forget, my love, my heart is yours. It always has been and no measure of time will ever change that. I love you."

He disappeared into the trees, taking my heart with him as he ran.

"Don't leave." The faintest whisper left my lips as I listened to him extend the distance between us.

The raging fire in my chest burned out of control and I fell from the tree in agony. The impact forced the cry from my lips.

"Edward!"

Ignoring the pain, I jumped up and followed the sounds of rustling leaves and snapping wood, each one leading me to him.

"Edward!"

"Bella?" I heard the falter in his steps.

"Edward, don't leave!" I called again. "I need you!"

_I love you._

Terrified to say the words aloud, I knew he would still hear them. He had to hear them.

He stopped.

Suddenly, I was stuck with a crushing blow to my chest, forcing every ounce of air out of me. Edward's arms circled my chest as mine instantly wrapped around his waist. His scent surrounded me and those same words that terrified me moments ago fell easily from my lips as he held me.

"I love you. I love you. Please don't go."

"As long as you want me," he whispered into my ear, "I'll be here."

"I can't lose you again."

"Nothing will ever separate us, Bella. You're my life, my heart, and I need you with me to have any kind of life." He leaned back, bringing his eyes to mine. "I know how hard this is for you after being lied to for so long, but you have to trust me."

"I want to." I tightened my grip. "I really want to, Edward, but I'm afraid."

"What are you afraid of?"

"You." I pushed out of his arms. "Of everything loving you and losing you could cost me. Of every way you could hurt me if I let you in. Of every way you could be hurt just by being with me."

"Bella, the last thing I want in this world is to hurt you. I know I've already done that in the worst way imaginable and I swear to you it will never happen again. And you shouldn't worry about me getting hurt because the only thing that could ever hurt me would be losing you again."

He took a step closer, reaching a hand out to me. I jumped back.

"That's a lie," I growled. "You could die, Edward. You could be torn away from me just like everyone else I've ever cared for, only this time it would be the end of me."

"Please, don't say such things." I was in his arms again. "I told you, nothing will ever separate us, Bella." He squeezed tighter. "I may not be as well trained as others you've met but I _can_ fight, Bella, and I will kill anyone who attempts to take me away from you."

"But what if it's not a man." I pushed away from him again. "There are things out there, Edward, things other than vampires that can kill us."

"If that were true, Bella, Carlisle would have told me."

"He's not God, Edward," I snapped. "There _are_ things out there even your _precious_ Carlisle doesn't know."

"Bella, what are you…?"

"Wolves!" I yelled. "Huge wolves. They tore into us as if we were simple humans."

"Bella, wolves can't do that."

His calm infuriated me. So I ripped my shirt over my shoulder, proving my point.

"Does this look like something a wolf can't do?"

Edward's eyes widened as he saw the scars the black wolf left upon my shoulder. He was next to me in a flash, studying my marred skin.

"Oh God, Bella. What happened to you?"

"They attacked us out of nowhere. One of them bit me but Garrett kicked it and forced it to let me go."

His fingers ghosted over my skin as he moved behind me.

"We tried to fight them," I continued, "but nothing worked."

My eyes closed as I felt his lips gently touch my scar.

"I've fought and killed vampires like they were nothing, but we couldn't hurt them. They kept coming and coming and…"

_I was so scared, Edward._

"Don't be afraid, my love." He kissed my shoulder again and wrapped his arms around me. "I don't care who or what it is, I'll never let anyone or anything hurt you ever again."

A growl burst from my throat as I remembered his ability to hear my thoughts. Grabbing his wrists, I pulled and jumped, twisting his arms around his body as I landed behind him. With one kick to the backs of his legs, he was face down on the forest floor.

"And you want me to trust you? When you've lied to me from the beginning."

"Bella, what are you…?"

He struggled but he was trapped, his arms and legs pinned. There was no way he could fight me off.

"You thought you won, didn't you. You thought your sweet words would be enough for me to let you in, to make me trust you. First rule of war, Edward," he grunted as I drove his body deeper into the ground, "trust no one."

He feigned ignorance as he argued and struggled against my hold, but I refused to let him go. Not until I knew what game he was playing with me. Why he was keeping his ability from me? What he expected to gain by stealing my thoughts?

"We're not…"

His words died as one of my hands slipped from the hold on his arms and clamped around the back of his neck.

"No one, Edward, especially someone who lies."

"I never lied."

_You're lying to me right now, Edward._

"I'm not, Bella. Please talk to me," he begged.

_But I am talking to you, Edward._

I put more pressure on his neck and he growled. The menacing sound might have terrified me if he wasn't lying helpless under me.

"Talk to me," he roared. "Tell me what's wrong! What did I do to you?"

"You lied."

Giving him one chance to make this right, I jumped away from him, landing in a crouch. Growling, Edward jumped up and turned on me.

"One time!" he yelled, stepping toward me. "I let you believe one lie! I've apologized! Now end it!"

"The end!" I shouted back. "You think that's the end! And what…I'm supposed to let your mind tricks go unpunished!"

He straightened up, all anger draining from his face.

"What are you talking about?"

"Stop playing games with me," I roared. "I know what you can do, what you can hear and it's only a matter of time before you use it against me."

"Bella, what are you…?" He reached out for me, but pulled back. "What could I use against you?"

"Everything!" I roared. "What I say. What I don't say. None of it is off limits to you. None of it is safe."

"What are you saying? I don't understand."

"Are you telling me you can't hear my thoughts?"

"What?" His head shook. "No."

"More lies!" I screamed. "You've already done it, Edward, more than once."

"That's not true, Bella. I've tried but I can't."

His admission left me reeling. "You admit it," I said quietly, stunned.

"I _can_ hear people's thoughts, Bella, but I can't hear yours. And I didn't lie to you. With everything we've been through in these past two days, I just haven't had a chance to tell you about that part of me." He took a few steps closer and grabbed my hand. "Please believe me; I wouldn't hide something like that from you."

Edward's fingers grazed my cheek before settling in my hair. A tiny pull tilted my head back until I was staring in his eyes.

"You are the love I've lived my whole life for and now that I have a second chance, I won't do anything to lose you. But Bella, you have to trust me. We will never survive together if you keep doing this."

I tried to step away but his grip tightened, keeping me close.

"But I don't…"

"Don't." His fingers covered my lips.

"I know your life has been different from mine and the fighting is all you know, but we _cannot_ live that way. You were my best friend and we were always able to talk to each other." He stole a kiss before I could protest. "We need to do that now or everything that's happened in our past will hurt us and tear us apart."

He dropped to his knees in front of me, looking at me with complete sincerity in his eyes. Suddenly, the boy I knew, the boy I'd loved my entire life was staring up at me.

"I love you, Miss Bella, and if you let me, I will spend all of eternity proving it to you."

Hearing the old name rendered me speechless and I stared at him for a few seconds before throwing myself into his arms with such force it knocked him to the ground. His arms felt like home and I felt a familiar warmth flow through me as the breath of his sigh caressed my neck.

Completely overcome with old emotions, my words left my lips in a whisper. "I love you, Edward. I'm sorry, so sorry for everything." I pushed against his chest, lifting myself to see him. "I'm sorry I keep hurting you. I didn't mean…"

He rolled over quickly, hovering over me with a hand covering my mouth.

"I know, sweet girl. You don't have to apologize." He smirked and his eyes turned playful. "I would love it if you stopped attacking me, though."

His voice held a hint of laughter and in that instant, I saw my best friend. I saw my Eddie. And all the rage and tears and anger that filled the past two days melted away as my eyes gazed upon the boy I fell in love with.

Trapped in each other's eyes, our hands moved as one to rest against the other's cheek. The heart that stopped beating so many years ago leapt in my chest with the sudden overwhelming feeling of love I held for him. Then softly, hoping not to ruin this moment, I spoke.

"I'm trying but, please, talk to me. Tell me everything, Edward. That's all I want."

His brilliant smile, the one I loved more than anything, spread across his face as he rolled us gently onto our sides.

"Then ask me anything, my angel."

Eyeing him skeptically, I asked the one question burning inside my head. "How can you hear people's thoughts?"

Edward's smile faded as he shrugged. "I don't know. I think I woke up that way."

"You think?"

"We didn't know right away. Carlisle had his suspicions but it took a few months before he really figured it out."

"A few months? Really?" I was surprised. "I figured it out in two days."

He grinned again. "You know me better than he does."

A thought hit me then. "What did you mean when you said you tried but couldn't hear me?" Squirming out of his arms, I sat up. "You heard me just fine back at the house and then again a few minutes ago."

"Honestly, Bella, I don't know what you're talking about." He sat up, his expression serious. "Everyone's thoughts are so loud all the time but with you, there's nothing. Like now, sitting in the middle of these woods with no one around, it's completely silent. It's such a change for me because even when people sit quietly, their minds are still working. There's still something they're thinking about, but you're different. I don't hear anything from you."

"You did, though," I argued. "You heard me."

"But I can't." He shook his head again. "I can't explain it, Bella. There's nothing but silence surrounding you."

"You heard me tell you I loved you while I was running after you, did you not?"

His smile returned. "Of course I did. Hearing you finally say it was what made me stop."

"And you answered me when I admitted my fear of the wolves."

A low growl rumbled in his chest. "As I said, you have nothing to fear. I will never let anything hurt you, Bella."

"And you heard me just now, taunting you as I held you to the ground." My fingers covered his mouth when he tried to speak. "I didn't utter a single word, not a single sound left my mouth, but you answered."

"That's not poss..."

"You heard me, Edward, and you answered."

"That can't be." He was on his feet, pacing back and forth quickly as he mumbled to himself.

The unfamiliar movement brought back a faint memory of Edward, sitting at the kitchen table with me doing homework. He was quiet and pensive while his hand tangled in his hair and his pencil moved furiously across the paper. It was the way he solved every problem, no matter the difficulty.

I used to love watching him study. The intensity on his face always drew my attention, but that was gone now. Gone was the furrowed brow that always made him look older than his true age. Lost was the silence as he mumbled his theories and then quietly correcting himself if his solutions didn't seem plausible. And his hair remained untouched as his hand occasionally pinched the bridge of his nose instead. For all that was different, one familiar habit remained – his hands.

Before, he was constantly scribbling his notes or working out his calculations on paper. Now, it was as if he had an imaginary piece of paper in front of him and his fingers moved just as they would if he had a pencil in hand writing his notes.

Mesmerized, I watched as these new habits subtly blended with those of his past, creating a whole new man before me. Stopping abruptly, his loud voice pulled me from my thoughts.

"If what you're saying is true, then why can't I hear anything now?" he questioned, narrowing his eyes at me. "I know you, Bella, and I know your mind is working frantically to figure this out."

I smirked. He was only partially correct. The part of my mind not focused on this was intent on studying him now and every word he'd spoken since finding me again, trying to decide for myself what was true and what was not.

"Can I ask you something?" he said before I could answer his first question.

I nodded and he came to sit in front of me again, folding my hands in his and resting them on his lap. His dark eyes bore into mine.

"What are you thinking right now?"

"I _was_thinking about how different you are. But now, with you right here," lifting a hand to touch the skin below his right eye, my voice softened, "I'm thinking how much more beautiful your gold eyes are."

"And I can't hear any of that," he said absently.

This time his brow furrowed and he was back on his feet, pacing.

_Maybe he's not so different after all._

Edward's mumbling continued as he moved back and forth over the path he'd already worn into the dirt. Again, I watched, my legs pulled in and my arms around my knees. Though I couldn't see them from my angle, his eyes crept into my mind and I found myself wondering about the color.

When he had found me, his eyes were gold. Not normal for a vampire. Our eyes were red, or black when we needed to feed. Feeding always changed the color of our eyes – black to red.

_Red…never gold._

Tilting my head, I watched him, still pacing. He didn't feed on humans, that much was obvious. So, again, I wondered…where did the color come from?

_What do you feed on, Edward? What turns your eyes gold?_

"Animals," he said quietly. His pacing stopped a few feet from me and he turned. "Carlisle was born a pastor's son and holds human life as something sacred. Never once has he tasted human blood and he taught me the same."

My eyes widened and excitement sent me flying toward him like a bullet. My arms squeezed around his neck, bringing our bodies together.

_I did it, Edward. I did it._

His arms circled my waist to steady me and then he spoke into my ear. "Not that I'm not happy for this change in you, but what did you do?"

His question made it true and my exhilaration skyrocketed as I drew back then crashed my lips to his.

_I love you, Edward._

Edward gripped my arms and tore his lips from mine. His wide eyes were further proof that my theory was correct.

"How did you do that?"

"Do what?" I feigned ignorance as I freed my arms, circling them around his neck again and pulling him in for a slow kiss.

_Tell you that I love you._

He broke our kiss again. "Bella, I heard..." Shocked, his hands cupped my face. "How did I hear you?"

"I think I just have to talk to you." My hands moved over his and pulled them down between us. "If my thoughts are meant for you, you'll hear."

He grinned. "Can it really be that simple?"

"It appears to be."

His smile grew and his dark eyes sparked with excitement, reminding me of the way he'd been as a little boy when his father bought him his first bicycle.

"Can you do it again?"

"Whatever would I say?" I teased.

"Anything. Say anything." He was practically vibrating. "Say the first thing that comes to your mind."

His exuberance forced me to hide a laugh. Though I knew what I wanted to say, what I wanted to ask for, I tapped my chin, pretending to think.

"Come on, Bella," he pushed. "Say something."

Backing away a few steps, I slowly raised an eyebrow.

_Kiss me, Edward._

The slow, sweet smile that spread across his face was breathtaking.

"With pleasure."

Edward's lips were on mine the instant the words were spoken and I felt his arms and his love wrap around me, finally bringing me home.

* * *

><p><strong>Finally! Bella is finally seeing the boy she used to love in the man standing in front of her. It only took the prospect of him actually giving up on her to make it happen, but hey whatever it takes right. Now, if they can keep the fighting to a minimum, they'll be okay.<strong>

**As always, thank you so much for all the love you give this story. It means more to me than you will ever know. Big hugs to everyone. You are all the best. Until next time…much love to you all – D**


	30. Chapter 30

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story. **

**Many thanks to my amazing team. I couldn't do this without you: ellachanted, Kate22689 and AgoodWITCH Love ya tons, ladies. **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 30<strong>

**EPOV**

"Bella, get down from there!" I yelled.

"No! You come with me!" she shouted back.

"You're going to fall!"

She giggled. "It's not like I'll get hurt."

"Bella, I mean it! Come down here, now!"

"No!" she yelled again.

She stopped her assent and jumped, grabbing onto a limb and hanging from it while she stared down at me.

"It's just a tree, Edward."

I felt a sudden jolt of panic as she let go, catching the branch underneath her with her legs. Her body swung until she was hanging upside down at least a hundred feet above ground.

"Bella!" I growled. "Stop playing around and get down here now!"

She laughed at me again and released one leg.

"If you want me down, you have to come and get me."

Had it been beating, my heart would have stopped dead the instant her second leg let go and she fell. Before I could move, her hands gripped another branch and she swung herself through the tree and then took off towards the top. I grumbled a few expletives and rushed after her.

"Edward, who on earth taught you such language?" Bella laughed again.

Who was this girl? Not thirty minutes ago, she went from yelling at and attacking me to kissing and hugging me and now she was giggling and laughing and climbing trees like she was a kid again.

As I climbed up after her, I realized I didn't care. My Bella was happy and laughing and she got exactly what she wanted…she got me in the tree.

Bella was sitting on a small branch near the top, looking through the sparsely spaced branches and staring at the star-filled sky. She looked peaceful and the smile on her face warmed my heart. Standing on a lower branch, I matched her height and wrapped my arm around her waist.

"Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" I growled low into her ear.

A low growl rumbled in her chest as she exhaled and leaned back into me. "We've been climbing trees since we were ten and you're worried now. Now that I _can't_ be hurt."

"The trees we climbed when we were ten didn't have you hundreds of feet above ground."

"We, my love," she twisted to kiss me quickly, "are indestructible. I could jump from this tree and the only thing to get hurt would be the ground beneath my feet."

"I just worry about you," I admitted.

"Don't."

She turned to straddle the branch, lifting an arm around my neck and resting her other hand on my arm. Her smile was gone.

"I've lived through so much already; falling from a tree is nothing in comparison."

"But I could have kept you from all of that. If I'd been here, I could have saved you from so much pain." I touched her cheek. "I will make up for that. I'll make up for every bit of pain you suffered."

"By keeping me out of trees." Her smile returned. "You've lived a sheltered life haven't you?"

"Don't turn this into a joke."

"But it is. You were less worried about me getting hurt when we were kids than you are now."

"Kids think they're invincible," I argued.

"And now we truly are." She kissed me and stared into my eyes. "Which is something you have to remember or you'll never keep up."

My brow furrowed. "Keep up?"

"With me."

She laughed and jumped from the branch before launching herself into the tree to my left.

"Bella!" I yelled, exasperated as I followed her.

She stopped and turned back to me.

"Stop worrying, Edward."

"I can't. I've missed so much already and I won't risk losing you again."

"It. Is. A. Tree." She could barely contain her amusement. "I _was _joking before but really, what kind of sheltered life _have _you been living all these years?"

She sat straddling a thicker branch than before and I felt it was safe enough to sit with her.

"I haven't been sheltered."

She rolled her eyes. "No? Tell me, in all the years you were searching for me, how many times did you rest under the stars?" She shook a branch next to her. "Or in the trees?"

She smirked when I didn't answer right away.

"That's what I thought. You're with _me_ now, Edward, and like you said, we have the rest of eternity to be together." Grabbing my hands, she pulled herself closer. "_Live_ with me. Take risks and be reckless. Be that thirteen year old boy who thought himself invincible, who acted like nothing could hurt him because, my love, nothing can."

My lips were on hers before she could say another word and her fingers tangled in the back of my hair. Quickly, I pulled back before I lost myself in her kiss.

"So, what exactly am I looking forward to here, besides climbing huge trees?"

Her eyebrow quirked up and a devious smirk settled on her face.

"Hmm…I was thinking of picking a few fights with vampires, wrestling with the sharks." She shrugged. "You know…the fun stuff."

"Sharks?"

"We'll run into a few as we cross the ocean." She touched the skin under my right eye. "But first, it's time to turn those beautiful eyes gold again."

With a hurried kiss, she launched herself from the tree. Before I could take another breath, Bella was calling to me.

"Jump, Edward!"

I heard her growl when I jumped down a few branches.

"Jump!"

Feeling the need to tease her, I jumped down one more.

"Get down here, Edward! Now!"

She was cute when she was frustrated and the growl coming from her made me want to laugh, but she'd attacked me one too many times today. If I continued to upset her, she might just do it again and I was enjoying my happy Bella way too much to let that happen.

After a few steps toward the edge, I jumped. I caught sight of her excited face as I dropped, landing with a soft thud in the dirt. Bella's arms were around my waist the second I was standing upright.

"I knew you could do it." She kissed my cheek.

"Of course I can do it. I just don't want you to do it."

She pushed me away with a frustrated exhale.

"I have a feeling there are a lot of things you won't want me to do," she grumbled. "But until then, let's get you fed."

She grabbed me by the hand and led me away from the little clearing we'd been in for the past few hours.

"So, how do you do this?" she asked enthusiastically. "Do you wait for them to come to you? Do you chase them down and pounce? What kind of animals do you eat? Big ones? Small ones? How many before your eyes change? Is one enough or do you need more?"

She fired question after question at me, giving me no chance to answer. Her wide eyes sparkled in the moonlight as she scanned the trees.

"Look, there's a rabbit." She pointed and pushed my arm. "Go get it, Edward. Hurry before it runs away."

I turned and kissed her, laughing as I pulled away.

"I don't eat rabbits, Bella. They're too small."

She took a quick breath, a look of determination settling on her face. "Okay…bigger."

Bella walked a few steps past me, her head moving back and forth looking for more animals.

"Look, look, look," she whispered, "there's a fox."

"Bigger, sweetheart."

She scowled at me. "Do you have to be so picky?"

"Once you taste it, you'll see why?"

"Me?" She looked traumatized. "I'm not eating that?"

"Well of course not, small game tastes horrible."

The disgusted look on her face was so adorable I couldn't resist kissing her, first on her lips and then the tip of her nose. Her brow furrowed and I was hit with her evil glare. I simply smiled and linked our fingers together.

"Come on, let's go find bigger game."

Bella ripped her hand from mine. "I said I'm not eating that. You do what you have to but I know where my next meal will come from and it's nowhere near this forest."

"Bella, you can't do that. Humans are…"

"Delicious," she interjected.

"That's not funny." I took a step back.

"It wasn't meant to be," she challenged.

"Human life is precious, Bella." Irritation seeped into my voice.

"Human life keeps me alive, Edward," she hissed.

"It doesn't have to. There's another way."

"My way is just fine." The scowl on her face morphed into a bright smile. "Now let's find you the biggest, most delicious animal we can find."

She took off through the trees, leaving me with a heavy heart. I couldn't let her do it. Killing humans was wrong. I had to convince her. She had to see that she could live without hurting people.

Resolved in my decision, I ran after her. Luckily, I was faster than her and caught her within minutes. Just as I reached for her, my ears caught the sound. Whether she realized it or not, she'd led us to something big. I took a deep breath and smiled, recognizing the scent.

My hands clamped on her arms, tugging her to a stop. When she sank back against me, my arms circled her shoulders. My lips brushed her neck as I breathed her in. I placed another kiss just behind her ear before whispering to her.

"Close your eyes, Angel."

She shivered as her eyelids fluttered closed. My arms tightened around her.

"Tell me what you hear, Bella." I breathed the words in her ear, nuzzling and kissing her neck once more.

"The animals," she whispered. "The small ones."

With my lips at her ear, I whispered Carlisle's words from so long ago. "Listen closer. Concentrate on the elements. What else do you hear?"

"Wood breaking. Heavy footsteps." Her voice was light as if in a trance. "Heartbeat."

"Breathe deeply and tell me what you smell."

My own throat burned and I knew the instant she smelled it because her entire body went rigid. With one more deep breath, Bella lunged but she couldn't break my grip as she fought against me.

"Don't run." My arms tightened again, holding her to my chest. "It's close."

She pulled against my grip but I had a firm hold. Firm enough that I let one arm loose and slid my hand down her arm, linking our fingers together. I moved us forward, leading Bella's willing body into position to see the buck feeding in the brush.

Seeing one buck, I knew there'd be more. Listening close and scanning the trees behind it, I found three deer feeding in the trees. The arm still around Bella's shoulders loosened and I moved that hand down to hers. Pulling both hands up, I wrapped her arms around her waist.

"They scare easily. We need to be silent."

"We need to be fast," she said and I smiled.

"Yes. Move fast. Snap its neck."

Letting go of her hands, I turned her quickly and kissed her, pulling back with a grin.

"Ready." She nodded and I drew my hands away.

No words were needed as Bella burst through the trees and took down the buck. I shot past her and caught all three deer before they could run. Taking the last one in hand, I sliced through its neck but one mouthful of blood was all I enjoyed before Bella's growl echoed through the trees.

I dropped the animal and ran to her. She was on her hands and knees heaving and the buck was lying dead fifty feet from where we'd found it.

"Bella?" She coughed and I was on my knees next to her. "Bella, what's wrong?"

She turned, glaring at me. "That's revolting," she roared.

"It's not…"

"You choose _that_," she wiped her mouth, "over human blood?"

"There _is_ no choice, Bella," I argued.

"How can you choose this if you've never tasted _real_ blood before?"

"I won't take someone's life."

Her eyes narrowed. "Just because _he_ didn't, how could your _precious Carlisle_ take that away from you?"

Hearing the disgust in her voice as she said Carlisle's name made me angry. It wasn't the first time and I wouldn't allow her to disrespect him in such a way.

"Leave him out of this," I said through gritted teeth. "Carlisle is an amazing man and he didn't _take_ my choice away. He taught me how to live. How to live a life as near to the one I left behind as he possibly could. And it doesn't matter what his beliefs are, I have my own mind and I make my own decisions. I won't kill a human when there's another choice."

"Then if that's your choice…go." She waved her hand at the animal. "But I'm leaving. It's been weeks; I have to find my own meal."

"Bella, wait."

She turned her back on me and ran off.

"Bella," I called after her but she was gone.

I wanted to run after her but it had been a long time since I'd hunted and there were four dead animals that needed to be taken care of. I drained and buried them quickly, said a quick prayer of thanks and followed Bella's scent back home.

When I peeked around the corner of the fence, I looked to Bella's house first seeing all the lights out. Hearing the relaxed breathing of everyone inside, I rushed into my house to find Bella.

Her scent lingered but every room was empty. My parent's room was the last place I looked. It was also empty but my eyes landed on a note lying on top of the map.

_I love you, Edward, but I can't do what you do. _

_Please watch my father for me. I'll return soon._

Knowing what she was about to do hurt me but I couldn't stop her. I just prayed that, in time, I could change her mind.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

The sun rose and set twice before I heard Bella rush through the backdoor. I was off the bed and in the hallway when her body slammed into mine, her arms locking themselves around my waist. Her lips crashed into mine before I could speak and she was apologizing profusely while she kissed me.

As much as I hated to do it, I pushed her away. "Where have you been?" I asked, holding back as much of my worry and anger as I could.

"I'm sorry. I took me a while to find…_the one_."

She hesitated on the last two words and a growl rumbled in my chest as I separated myself from her completely.

"Humans are everywhere. Don't you have to just grab one and bite?"

I didn't mean to snap at her but I couldn't control my irritation. Not only was she killing humans but she wanted me to believe it took her two days to do it. I'd seen enough in the past six years to know that vampires weren't very selective when it came to satiating their thirst.

"You don't understand."

"What don't I understand, Bella?" I roared. "Please, explain to me how killing a single human takes two days? Or did you have a hard time stopping at one? Tell me…exactly how many does it take to turn your eyes such a bright shade of red."

Pain flashed in her eyes but disappeared as quickly as it had come.

"Is that what you think of me? That I would kill some innocent person just to feed my thirst!" I fell back a few steps after she hit me. "If you think so little of me, then there's no reason for me to stay here because this will never work."

"No!" I stopped her rant. "You can't go. I won't let you leave, but I can't be okay with this. Killing humans is wrong, Bella."

"This is me, Edward. Like it or not, this is who I am. This is all I know."

"But they've done nothing wrong," I argued, my eyes pleading with her to listen. "How can you condemn them to death in such a way?"

"I have _never_ killed an innocent. Garrett taught me better than that."

Hearing his name halted my words and left me trembling with anger. He did this to her. He turned my Bella into a killer and I hated him for it.

But if I had just come back for her, she would have never met him. Carlisle could have changed her and, together, he and I could have taught her to live without killing, just as we did with Esme. Everything about her would have been different. Our lives would have been different. We could have…

"No women or children…ever," Bella continued, bringing my attention back to her. "That was the first rule. The unbreakable rule unless I wanted him to kill me himself."

"He would have done that?" I asked, shocked.

She nodded, the pain returning to her eyes.

"How?" I reached out to touch her cheek. "He was your friend…your creator. How could he even think of killing you?"

She pulled away from my touch, her expression changed and her eyes went cold.

"You have _no right_ to judge him," she snapped. "He may not have been a saint, like _Carlisle_," she still said his name with a measure of disgust I didn't understand, but I stayed quiet and allowed her to speak, "but preserving human life meant just as much to Garrett.

"Yes, he fed from humans but he lived by a set of rules that protected the most innocent of them. And he never broke those rules. His hunt took the worst of all humans from the streets before they could hurt anyone. It was his way of atoning for what he did. So don't you dare look down on him or think you're any better than he was simply because you'd rather kill a defenseless animal than someone who truly deserves it."

"I don't…" I began but stopped, rethinking my words. "I wasn't looking down on him, Bella, and I certainly wasn't judging him. I just don't understand how he could ever contemplate killing you."

It was a hard concept to imagine. In her first months as a newborn, Esme slipped so many times and killed humans but Carlisle never once thought to end her life for it. I didn't understand how Garrett could, especially if Bella spoke the truth when she said he had loved her.

"We're vampires, Bella, and sometimes the call of the blood is too strong to resist and we slip."

"Have you ever _slipped_?" she asked in a clipped tone.

I shook my head. "No."

"Then you don't know what it's like."

"Maybe I don't," I agreed, "but it doesn't mean he should kill you for it."

"He would have killed anyone for it."

Her statement brought me up short. "He what?"

Bella lost her fight, looking defeated as she leaned against the wall and slid to the floor.

"My first year, I could barely maintain control and my relationship with Garrett was completely unstable. But he taught me everything I needed to know to survive, including his rules when it came time to feed.

"In the beginning, he would bring them back to me saying I was still too volatile to hunt for myself. And he was right," she said sadly. "Those first few months, I would have killed any human who came too close. Garrett saved me from that, only taking me into town when he was able to watch me closely. He always protected me and kept me from hurting someone who he deemed innocent.

"I got close a few times but he took certain…" she hesitated and then a small smirk lifted the corner of her lips, "…measures to stop me. And it worked. By the time I'd calmed myself and stopped trying to kill him, I was in control enough to find the right kind of person to feed from."

I was almost too afraid to ask what he would have done to make her want to kill him. But the smirk on her face had me extremely curious.

"Measures?"

She snorted. "It was never odd for one or both of us to lose a limb or two."

My growl echoed off the walls of the empty hallway.

"How dare he?" I shouted.

"Calm down, Edward," she admonished. "Garrett's first vow was to protect me at all costs. He did what he had to do and if that meant I lost an arm or a leg or two, then that's what had to happen to keep me alive and safe. Because, had I gotten through him and killed those humans, the ones who'd done nothing wrong, he would have taken my life.

"In fact, that was why we'd killed so many of our kind. Garrett couldn't stand to watch a woman being killed or a child being taken or someone's father, son, or brother begging for his life and the lives of his family when there were truly evil people in this world to feed from."

She took a deep breath and finally looked at me with sincerity in her eyes.

"He was a good man, Edward, with a good heart who also valued life even though he had to take it to live and he taught me to live as he did. To spare the innocent and hunt down those who would hurt another human being simply because they could."

She didn't say another word after that. She simply stood, walked into my bedroom and lay down on the bed. Though I wanted to join her, I was stuck, not quite ready to move after all she'd shared with me.

I'd grown angry when Bella didn't return from her hunt for so long. So many scenarios rushed through my head as I pictured her killing one human after another to sate her thirst. That anger, now, seemed to be completely misplaced.

I couldn't even be angry with Garrett. Though I didn't agree with their feeding habits, I couldn't begrudge him for living the way he did. In truth, I had to respect him for not allowing Bella to become a complete monster, for teaching her to respect the sanctity of life while being forced to take it to live.

Still, believing the way I did, I couldn't condone what she was doing. Even though I admired the strength needed to restrain herself the way she had, she was still taking a life. She was still murdering a human and the reality of that was so much harder to handle than I'd anticipated.

Was it something I could brush aside, not worry over, as we tried to rebuild our life together? Was the love we shared strong enough to overcome even this obstacle?

"Edward," Bella called softly from the other room.

I rushed to her side. "Yes, my love."

"Please don't hate me."

The pain and vulnerability in her voice stabbed through my heart, giving me the answer to my question.

"I could never hate you, Angel. I love you too much."

"Will you hold me?"

Sliding in next to her, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close. With a kiss to her hair, I whispered the only word I could.

"Forever."

* * *

><p><strong>What do you think? Will he ever get her to give in? *shrugs* Who knows.<strong>

**Okay, I haven't done this in a while and I'm sure you're already reading these two amazing fics but, for those who aren't, you need to be.**

**First… Glycerine by Livie79 **

**Glycerine: Sweet, clear, odorless...harmless, unless mixed with the wrong ingredients. When Bella decided to fulfill a fantasy, Edward was happy to oblige. No strings, no obligations. But when their paths cross months later, a spark is ignited and the tables are turned. Will the highly combustible mixture of lust and love survive or create an explosion that will destroy them both?**

**Second… The Cullen Legacy by pattyrose**

**Legacy - A gift; sometimes unknowingly bestowed. Bella met Edward in a London pub, never imagining where each would be 7 years later: he a Congressman fueled by ever-growing political ambition, she the woman with an explosive secret that can end all his dreams. But Bella might soon find that revenge isn't all it's cracked up to be, and that Edward may harbor his own dark secrets.**

**As always, thank you so much for all the love you give this story. It means more to me than you will ever know. Big hugs to everyone. You are all the best. Until next time…much love to you all – D**


	31. Chapter 31

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story. **

**Many thanks to my amazing team. I couldn't do this without you: ellachanted, Kate22689 and AgoodWITCH Love ya tons, ladies. **

**A/N: I know this update took forever, so I won't keep you waiting any longer. I'll just leave the important stuff for the end. See you at the bottom.**

* * *

><p><em>Previously:<em>

_"Edward," Bella called softly from the other room._

_I rushed to her side. "Yes, my love."_

_"Please don't hate me."_

_The pain and vulnerability in her voice stabbed through my heart, giving me the answer to my question._

_"I could never hate you, Angel. I love you too much."_

_"Will you hold me?"_

_Sliding in next to her, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close. With a kiss to her hair, I whispered the only word I could. _

_"Forever."_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 31<strong>

**BPOV**

Something changed for us after I had gotten back from my hunt, as Edward had called it.

Though I knew he hated it, Edward never brought up my choice to feed from humans. In fact, once we'd decided we would each go our own way when we needed to feed, we never talked about it again. It was too sensitive and took its toll on both of us.

But we did talk.

We'd spent day and night holed up in Edward's old house, keeping an eye on my father and learning about each other again. We had each been through so much over the years and there were many things we wanted to discuss. Each new conversation brought forth another round of questions which led to more stories, some good and some bad.

We'd fought our way through plenty of arguments but we had settled each one without much damage to the house or each other and, after each one, I had always found myself in Edward's arms, either in comfort or to protect himself when my temper reigned.

The eighth night after I'd returned, Edward, despite his desire to comfort me, allowed me sit alone outside my parents' window, listening to my father sleep. His breathing had been labored the past few nights and it had me worried and praying for more time.

I needed to be with him…alone to sort out the raging thoughts filling my head. It was still hard for me to accept how much time I'd lost with him…with both of them. If only I hadn't been so torn apart after losing Edward, I would have been here with him. He wouldn't have been worried for me or out year after year searching for me.

Part of me blamed myself for his illness. If he were here with my mother, safe and taken care of everyday, would this have happened to him? The question was eating away at me and Edward, always wanting to protect me, found a way to ease my mind.

He had slipped away one night, leaving me with a tender kiss, saying he would be back soon. I didn't want him to leave but he said it was something he needed to do. When he returned, he had a duplicate of my father's medical file in his hands written in his perfect script. He sat with me and explained every detail of my father's condition, making sure I understood that nothing I'd done and no amount of worry he'd suffered over me could have caused this.

My father had grown older and his body had simply worn down. There was nothing anyone could do for him. Knowing the truth made me feel a little better but learning it the way I did sparked a whole new conversation.

Edward told me he'd gone to school for years to earn a medical degree. He wanted to follow in Carlisle's footsteps and spend his time helping people. A small restitution for the lives he was forced to take, even if they were in the form of animals.

Knowing this about him left me with a sense of pride. The sensitive boy he used to be had grown into an amazing man with a huge heart. It also made his anger toward my choice of prey make more sense.

_Maybe I could try again. Maybe I…_

"Charlie!" my mother shrieked.

_Edward!_

My mind screamed for him as my father's choking cough forced all the air from my lungs. Edward was behind me before I could make a single move. One arm held me close to his chest while his other hand covered the scream trying to force its way past my lips.

"Don't, Bella. It's okay."

_But he's dying._

"It'll be okay, Angel. I promise it'll be okay," he said softly, hoping to reassure me.

I shook my head as much as I could. The sound scared me and I began to panic for my father.

And I wasn't the only one.

"Oh God, Charlie," my mother sobbed. "Not now, please."

His cough worsened.

"Maggie!" she shouted for help.

Footsteps rushed through the house and into my parents' room.

"Goodness." Her steps came closer. "Come now, Charlie, you have to get up." Her tone was urgent.

I tried to go to him but Edward tightened his grip.

_Edward, please._

"No, Bella," he whispered. "It's not time, Angel. I promise it's not. It's just a cough. He'll be fine."

I struggled harder but Edward just turned his head and kissed my temple.

"Trust me, Angel."

My body sagged as sobs shook my shoulders. Edward's hand moved from my mouth to circle my waist.

"Oh my sweet girl, I know it hurts." He nuzzled his forehead into the crook of my neck. "I wish I could take this pain away."

His lips touched my shoulder and he swept me into his arms. Before I knew it, he was laying me in bed and sliding in next to me.

The commotion next door was all I could think about but Edward did his best to distract me. With soft caresses and light kisses, he pulled my mind back to him again.

"Talk to me, Angel." He pressed his forehead to mine. "Tell me about the city." He let out a strained laugh. "In all my travels, the only time I've been there was the night I found you."

"Really?" I drew back to look him in the eye.

I could see the sadness he tried to hide and I knew he was doing it for me. Edward loved my father and his illness had to hurt him just as much as it did me, but he tried to be strong. For me, he would always be strong.

"What was it like?" he asked again.

"I was terrified," I admitted with a shaky laugh. "So many cars, so many people and I had nowhere to go."

The arm he had around my waist loosened as I put a bit of distance between us.

"Mrs. Jones gave me ten dollars when I left but it wasn't enough. After a few days I was living in the street. I slept in alleys and stole food when I needed to eat."

"Oh Bella."

Hearing what I went through, the distance between us disappeared as Edward brought me back into his arms. Resting my forehead against his chest, I continued.

"I don't know how I made it as long as I did. I was scared and alone until…" My words trailed off as I remembered the day I met Lizzy, Johnny and Jack.

"Until what?" Edward urged.

"Until they found me."

When I didn't speak, Edward pulled back and touched his knuckle under my chin to lift my eyes to his. His fingers left my chin and twined with the hand I had resting against his chest.

"Tell me," he whispered.

I lost myself in his beautiful golden eyes for an instant before I closed mine and took a deep breath.

"They were my family." Speaking of them after thirteen years nearly broke me but I opened my eyes and drew strength from Edward's. "Lizzy, Johnny and Jack."

My voice cracked as I said his name. Other than Garrett, Jack's death still cut me the deepest and I missed him so much.

"They saw me on the streets and knew I didn't belong there. They were tough…tougher than I was and they scared me to death. They ganged up on me and I thought they were going to hurt me but they didn't. When I told them why I ran away from home, they took me in and we became a family.

"I'm not proud of it now, but they taught me how to live, how to survive on the street without ever going hungry or going without shelter. They gave me comfort and friendship and they loved me as if we were a true family.

"It may not have been the safest way to live," my mind drifted to the night Jack was shot and I sighed, "but we had each other and that's all that mattered."

Edward rolled onto his back, exhaling heavily. "It's all my fault." I heard the sorrow in his voice. "You wouldn't have been alone if…"

Untangling my fingers from his, I covered his lips and pushed myself up so I was hovering over him.

"Don't, we've been through this enough," I told him and moved my hand to his cheek. "We made a promise remember? Nothing can change the past so we have to leave it there."

"But, Bella…"

"No, Edward. We're together now and nothing will tear us apart again."

"You're right. I'm sorry." He took my hand from his cheek and kissed my palm. "It's just so hard to think about that…about you being left alone when I was so close to you and could have prevented it."

"Edward, when we were growing up you always had my best interests at heart. You protected me at all costs and I know now that that part of you hasn't changed."

I sat up next to him, crossing my legs and resting my elbows on my knees. He followed my lead, resting his back against the headboard and bending his knees in front of him.

"I won't pretend to like your reasoning for staying away, but I do understand."

"You understand?" he questioned with wide eyes.

A tiny smile lifted the corners of my lips. "You may not believe this with all the fighting we've done, but I really have done quite a bit of thinking since you found me again." I sighed. "I've come to realize if the situation were reversed, I may have done the same thing. And the same would have held true for me."

His brow furrowed with confusion so I continued before he could ask.

"It would have ripped my heart out to leave you, but I could have never ended your life. I love you far too much for that."

"You really mean that?" He sounded surprised.

"I truly do."

In a flash, I pushed his legs flat and settled myself on his lap, grabbing his hands.

"My heart died when you did, Edward. And the shock I felt when you returned overwhelmed me, but then that shock turned to anger as I let the betrayal I felt consume me." I lifted one hand, brushing my lips across his knuckles. "It wasn't until I ran the last time and you were so ready to give up that I realized if I didn't let all of those feelings go, I would lose you."

Dropping his hands, I reached up to hold his face between my hands.

"I'm sorry I ever caused you to doubt my love for you because your love is what I lived for all these years."

His hands covered mine and pulled them from his cheeks, holding them in tightly between us.

"I never doubted your love, Angel." Edward's voice was soft. "Even through all your anger, you would say and do things, most times without realizing it, that wouldn't allow me to lose hope.

"My return was nothing you had ever expected and I knew, in your eyes, you would have believed I abandoned you. I also knew it would take time to earn your trust again."

His eyes dropped to our joined hands and Edward breathed a heavy sigh.

"I'm no fool, Bella. I know I haven't completely earned it yet, but I'm thankful every day that you love me enough to stay with me."

"I've been granted the impossible, my love." My eyes blurred with venomous tears. "I will never take it for granted again."

My lips covered the brilliant smile that spread across his. Edward's arms wrapped around me and pulled me closer to deepen the kiss. My hands clasped behind his neck as one of his moved to caress my back and the other slid into my hair to keep me close.

In recent days, the intimacy between us had increased – small touches and kisses filled with so much love that my heart could barely take it. Nothing in fourteen years filled me with so much joy as kissing Edward and I was grateful every day that I could.

As humans, society's rules wouldn't allow us to show our love for each other. Now, we were under no such restrictions and we'd taken full advantage of that since returning from the woods. We both knew there was more to come one day but until then, this would be enough.

I let myself relish in his touch, his kiss, for a few more minutes before pulling away and resting my forehead against his.

"It's so quiet over there now," I whispered. "What do you hear?"

Though I'd come to accept it, Edward's ability was still so strange to me. Contrary to everything I had experienced with vampires with mental abilities, he had never used it selfishly or with any malicious intent, so asking him to use it to spy on my parents felt wrong.

"Mrs. Jones is depressed," he told me, settling me back in his lap. "She is chastising herself for not being the strong friend your mother needs right now, but this is hurting her immensely. She's losing her best friend."

He closed his eyes and his brow furrowed. After a second, his eyes pinched tight.

"What is it?" I asked, worried about what he heard.

"Your mother," was all he said.

"What?" Terror ran through me when he didn't answer. "Is she alright?"

"She's completely inconsolable. Her thoughts are…non-coherent. Your father is scared for her. He doesn't know what his passing will do to her and he fears that her grief will be compounded by losing the both of you."

Edward grabbed my wrists harder than necessary and opened his eyes. They found mine instantly and held me captive.

"And he's asking…no, begging God to bring you home. He's making every deal he can think of to just see your face one more time."

My heart broke and my head fell to Edward's chest. Sobs tore through me and a crushing pain gripped my chest. I was horrible excuse for a daughter. I'd let my father and mother live in pain for so many years. But I could end it. I could end it now and no one would ever know.

I looked up into Edward's concerned eyes. "Let me go to him."

Edward shook his head but I spoke again before he could protest.

"I know your argument. Believe me, I do but you have to see that nothing bad can come of this."

"Bella, what if…"

"He's dying, Edward," I said, desperate for him to listen. "He can't even get out of bed anymore. Who can he tell?"

"Bella…"

"Please," I begged. "You know my father. You know, if I ask it, he would never tell." I grabbed Edward's hands and held them to my chest. "This secret will go to his grave with him but I cannot let him die without knowing I'm alive, that I'm happy and have you to take care of me forever."

"You can't tell him about me." He panicked. "He thinks I'm dead, Bella. How would you ever explain that I'm not?"

The smallest part of me felt the flicker of hope as I realized he didn't say no.

"After all this time, he deserves the truth." It was a simple answer. "I would tell him what we are, how strong we are and how happy and in love we are so he would know he'd never have to worry about me again."

"Bella, if the Volturi ever found out they would kill us both. Carlisle told me how…"

_God not him again!_

"Carlisle, Carlisle, Carlisle!" I growled and jumped from his lap. "All you ever think about is Carlisle," I shrieked. "You let that man keep you from me for years and now you're allowing the mere thought of him to keep me from my father. From a dying man who's making deals with God just to see me again. Well not this time, Edward. I won't let him keep one more thing from me. Not now. Not ever!"

Before he had time to move, I was out the door and back in my place under my parents' window. I listened as my mother quietly cried herself to sleep. I listened as my father whispered a promise that she would be okay. And I listened as he whispered another quiet prayer.

"Dear God, I beg you, please take care of this amazing woman after I'm gone. She's already lost so much and I'm afraid her grief will send her to a place she cannot return from. I watched it happen to our beautiful Bella and did nothing to prevent it. That will forever be my mistake, my burden to bear when the end comes for me. I will gladly serve any punishment you pass upon me for my part just please, don't let my Renee suffer the same fate as our daughter.

"And, though I know I have no right to ask so many favors, I beg you to please bring my Bella home. Renee's heart would be a little less empty if our daughter were here to fill it. It's all I ask for…for my girls to find each other again and make our family whole."

"Oh Daddy-" Sobs choked off my words and I pulled my legs up to my chest, dropping my head to my knees. "Daddy, I'm home."

* * *

><p><strong>What is Edward going to do? They both love Charlie and it's killing them to know he's dying, but will he give in and let Bella go to him? Will he let her tell their secret? We will see.<strong>

**Now, as I mentioned at the start, I do have something important to say. It's been brought to my attention that I've been lacking in my responsibilities as an author by not giving information about a few of my other stories. I've been answering questions as they come in but haven't given information to all my readers as a whole. So, with that in mind, here's a little update.**

**For those who have read Do You Feel The Same and Come Play With Me, I am continuing to write those on the side. I will post CPWM when chapter 2 is complete. Also, since it's a short story, I'll begin posting DYFTS when the whole story is complete.**

**For those who have read Memories of Love, I swear I have not abandoned that one. It will be finished but I've hit a major block that I'm trying to work through. As soon as I can write it, you'll get the rest of the story.**

**Again, I apologize for not posting an extra chapter to update the status of these stories, but it was my understanding that we weren't supposed to do that. I also ask that if you have any questions or comments that you'd like to ask me or say directly to me, please send me a PM. I will always answer with any information I can give you. Sorry this is so long but I needed to get this out.**

**For those of you reading this story, I truly appreciate and love each and every one of you. Your support means the world to me and I thank you for sticking with me through all my delays. Big hugs to everyone. You are all the best. Until next time…much love to you all – D**


	32. Chapter 32

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story. **

**Many thanks to my amazing team. I couldn't do this without you: ellachanted, Kate22689 and AgoodWITCH Love ya tons, ladies. **

**A/N: I am so deeply sorry for how long this has taken me to finish. But you'll be happy to know chp33 is done and off to my amazing beta and I'm working on chp34 now. Also, I wanted to say thank you for pushing this story to over 1000 reviews. It's a milestone I thought I'd never see. So thank you to all of you who got me there.**

**As for this one, I won't keep you waiting any longer. I hope you enjoy this one as much as I did.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 32<strong>

**EPOV**

Every one of Bella's cries broke another piece of my heart. I hated hurting her but there was no way to avoid it now.

As much as we both loved her father, she couldn't go into that house without drawing some attention. She wasn't just at risk of Charlie seeing her. Renee or Mrs. Jones could see, they could hear and our secret would get out and that would be it.

The Volturi would find us and all the pain we'd suffered, all the love we'd ever shared would mean nothing. All the years I'd spent searching for her and everything we'd been through since finding each other again would be wasted time when they showed up to kill us.

And they would. They would relish in taking our lives because we would have broken the most sacred law. We would have exposed our world and they would end our lives with no remorse.

I couldn't take that risk, not with Bella's life. She meant more to me than anything in this world and protecting her was all I could think about. Protecting her was all that mattered.

But what if Bella was right? What if it was possible to see Charlie, to tell him everything and beg him to keep our secret?

He would do it. Wouldn't he?

He would do it if it meant saving Bella's life.

Jumping out of bed, I began pacing the room. I didn't have the answers. I didn't know what to do. I wished I could talk to Carlisle but that was impossible because Charlie didn't have enough time left.

His doctors had been quite optimistic when they had estimated a few weeks. Originally, I'd done it to ease Bella's misplaced guilt but once I'd read through Charlie's file, I realized how serious his condition was. He had days, at most. It was a wonder he had lasted this long.

Maybe it was Bella. Charlie had been waiting and searching for her for so long now that maybe his body was fighting to stay alive for her. Just to see her one more time. Maybe all his prayers…

Another of Bella's cries knocked me to my knees as a blinding pain seared my chest. The sound of her anguish ripped through me and tore my heart to pieces. There had to be a way to help her, a way to ease her suffering. But how?

Out of nowhere, a voice from the past suddenly sounded in my head.

'_If you stand firm in your faith and continue to pray, God will answer your prayers in a way you would never dream possible.'_

"Henry," I said so softly the word had almost no sound.

He had said that to me what seemed like a lifetime ago when I first told him about Bella. He told me to pray and said God would answer.

Could that be what this was? Was it possible that I found Bella now, after all these years, right when her father needed her the most? Was it _His_ intervention that brought her back here, back to everyone who loved and needed her?

Taking a few deep breaths, I calmed myself enough to think clearly.

Carlisle had always been the one to believe in divine intervention. He believed that was how he had found me and then again when he'd found Esme. Would he say the same about Bella?

_He would. I know he would._

Picking myself up off the floor, I took another steadying breath before rushing downstairs. Bella's quiet sobs hit me as I opened the back door and I was kneeling at her side in an instant.

"Bella," I whispered.

She was so lost in her grief she actually jumped when I touched her shoulder. Her face was marred by sorrow and I couldn't stop myself from pulling her into my arms. Her body molded to mine as she buried her head in my shoulder and cried.

Running my hands through her hair, I whispered soft, soothing words, hoping to settle her tears. I didn't know how much time had passed before she calmed, nothing left but tiny whimpers of grief. She was so still, had she been human, I would have believed she'd cried herself asleep. Though, just as the thought passed through my mind, she spoke.

"Please, Edward."

If I wasn't so focused on her, I would have missed it, but I didn't. I heard those two devastatingly heartbroken words loud and clear.

"Anything for you, my love," I whispered as I dipped my head to kiss her temple.

Bella's head snapped up and the look on her face broke my heart all over again. Deep lines creased her forehead and the venom her eyes held while she cried burned the edges, creating an angry red that rimmed her near black eyes.

"Do you mean it?" She ripped my shirt in her desperate grip.

"He needs you, Bella." I cupped her face. "And you need him just as much."

"But what about the Italians?" she asked, repeating my earlier concern. "What if they…?"

Kissing her forehead quickly, I leaned back with a small grin. "Do you really believe your father would tell?"

"Never." Bella's head shook quickly. "He would never tell. He'll keep our secret, I know he will."

"I know he will too, Angel. He loves you and he would never do anything to put you in jeopardy." I lifted her chin and held her eyes with mine. "I'm sorry I forgot that for a while."

Bella's arms were around my neck before I even finished my sentence.

"You really mean it," she whispered. "Thank you, Edward."

Unexpectedly, she jumped to her feet and made a quick move toward her parents' backyard. Being faster than her, I was able to catch her before she made it to the door.

"Let go of me." She struggled. "You just said…"

"I know, Bella, and I promise you'll see him."

"Then let me go," she growled.

"Not yet." I held her a little tighter. "You can't just rush in there, Angel."

"But…"

"We need to be careful, Bella." She didn't fight me when I picked her up and rushed back into my house. "We need to make this as safe for him as possible and to do that, you need to hunt first."

"You _want_ me to hunt," she said, disbelieving.

I set her on her feet just inside the kitchen door but kept my hands around her waist. Leaning against the wall next to the door, I pulled her in close to me.

"You have to." I brushed the skin under her eyes. "Seeing your father is going to be hard enough on you and you've already expended so much of your energy tonight. I just want you to be as strong as possible when you see him.

"I know it might take you a while to find…someone…" I shook my head, unable to finish the sentence. "You need to go. I'll keep an eye on him while you're gone."

Again, Bella wrapped me in a tight embrace. "I love you."

Her lips were on mine before I could speak. The kiss was desperate and hurried but soon it slowed as she let her love flow through. Sooner than I was ready for, she drew back letting her forehead rest against my chest. She was quiet for a moment then looked up to me.

"I'll return soon."

With a brush of her fingers against my cheek, she darted out the door and into the night.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Charlie's coughing continued throughout the night. It worried me, but I knew by the sound that this wouldn't be his last night. Bella would have her time with her father. I was sure of it.

As dawn broke on a new day, I was kneeling by my bed sending my own prayers for Charlie when I heard the door close downstairs. In a flash, Bella's scent enveloped me as her arms circled my shoulders. My hands rested on hers and I turned slightly to see her.

"What are you doing here?" I shook my head when her face fell. Turning quickly, I held her face in my hands. "No, I mean…well… the last time took you two days. How did you find…?"

Her finger touched my lips quieting my words.

"I didn't."

"But your eyes?"

I didn't understand. Bella's eyes were the beautiful, brilliant red I'd come to expect.

Pulling my hands away from her face, Bella sat on the bed facing me with one leg curled under her. The look on her face told me I wasn't going to like what she was about to say.

"I didn't have to search this time."

"What does that mean?" I studied her face. "How did you…?"

She squeezed my hands hard. "It was late when I got to the city and my normal places were empty so I…took a walk." She sighed. "Honestly, I was only trying to clear my head and think. I was coming back. I was going to try it your way."

Again, I didn't like where this was going. "Was?"

She nodded. "I was on my way home when someone grabbed me. No one has ever been able to sneak up on me before but, somehow, he did.

"The guy was big; someone a normal woman wouldn't have been able to stop." A growl rumbled in her chest. "He pulled me into an alley saying something about me being prettier than the last one. That angered me because I obviously wasn't his first but I was sure to be his last."

My growl was louder than hers as she told me about the man who had attacked her.

"I would have returned sooner but that man deserved everything I did to him."

"What did you do?"

A part of me hoped she'd made him pay for trying to hurt her. Her answering smirk told me all I needed to know.

"I don't think you want to know."

"Well, I'm glad you're home." I pulled her close and kissed the tip of her nose.

"Definitely not the reaction I was expecting," she mumbled and followed my lead as I lay back on the bed.

"You're safe and back in my arms and that's all that matters."

She rolled her eyes at me again. "You worry too much."

"I can't help it, Angel," I admitted. "Instinctively, I know that man couldn't have hurt you and I know you're safe every time you leave me. But I've spent my entire life worrying about you and I'm not going to stop now."

"Edward, I love that you want to take care of me but I promise you, it is wholly unnecessary. I'm a fighter. I can walk into a battle and come out on the other side completely unharmed. I know you don't like the way I've lived, but I'm strong, I can stand my ground and no one will ever hurt me."

"That may be," I agreed with her, "but it's not going to keep me from worrying about you. I love you and you're mine to keep safe for the rest of our existence.

"Now, why don't we just relax and enjoy our day together as much as possible because tonight is going to be the hardest thing we've ever faced together."

Her arm tightened around my waist. "Together."

We settled in and held each other close, gazing in each other's eyes. Since I left her, I had longed for days like these and I was so grateful to finally have her back again. God answered so many prayers when He allowed me to find her again and tonight we would fulfill one more.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Bella and I spent the day reminiscing about old times with her father. The hard looks he would give me when I would teach her something that wasn't considered ladylike or the scolding he would give her when she spent too much time outside with me instead of tending to her chores. It was always one or the other because she and I were always together when we were kids, playing like we were both boys instead of the delicate girl he wanted her to be.

When we got older and began our courtship, the hard looks and the scolding didn't end, only the reasons for them changed. He would scowl when our walks together took longer than he deemed appropriate and when those walks ended with a near kiss, the scolding would begin the instant the door closed behind her.

I always felt guilty for bringing his wrath down on her but I never once regretted our time together and I was never sorry for my attempts to kiss her. I was only sorry he caught us.

"I tried to be a proper gentleman, Bella. It was your fault I was unsuccessful," I teased her.

"My fault," she slapped at my chest as she played innocent. "How was it my fault?"

"I know my memory of our past isn't always as clear as yours, but I do remember that you weren't always the sweet and innocent girl while we were away from your father." I winked.

"Edward," she gasped, "are you saying that I…"

"Tempted me? Yes, Miss Bella, that is exactly what I'm saying."

A tiny smile lifted the corners of her lips when I used the old name I'd been taught to call her when we were children. Though it was a little foggy, I remembered the first time I'd ever called her Bella.

The day had been so miserable but that one little word brought so much happiness from her. I was bursting with pride that I could bring her out of the depression we'd both been feeling knowing it was our last day together.

"Edward, can I ask you something?" Her low voice pulled me from my thoughts.

"Anything, my love." I smiled down at her.

"The sun will be setting soon and I was wondering if you would go somewhere with me?"

Bella was hesitant as she asked which was not like her at all.

"Of course," I agreed quickly. "Where would you like to go?"

Her eyes left mine and she wouldn't answer.

"Bella?"

I was met with silence once more and she avoided my attempts to catch her gaze. Sitting up, I pulled her with me to sit facing each other.

"I want…" She trailed off.

"Tell me, Angel. I'll take you anywhere you want to go."

Finally looking at me, her eyes sparkled. "I want it to be a surprise."

The smile returned to my face. Bella always hated surprises, even when we were little, but she knew I couldn't resist.

Trying to hide the excitement building in me, I exhaled heavily and rolled my eyes.

"Fine, we'll go at sunset."

"Nice try, Eddie," Bella giggled as she used my old nickname, "but I know you remember? You'll be bursting at the seams until the sun goes down."

Her words brought forth the smile I tried to hide. "Then it better hurry because I can't wait."

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

"You are the very definition of evil, do you know that?" I told her and she laughed.

I couldn't believe she was laughing at me. There was absolutely nothing funny about this. Could she not see I was dying here?

"Come on, please."

She lifted her head, opening one eye just long enough to peek at me and laugh again as I begged her for the hundredth time.

"Not time yet," she said as she laid her head back on the pillow.

"Not time," I said incredulously. "The sun went down hours ago, Bella. What are we waiting for?"

Again she laughed and I just wanted to strangle her. Bella had learned a long time ago how to get to me and she was back to her old games again.

She sighed heavily. "I'm having far too much fun listening to you beg." Her voice was breathy and teasing.

She peeked at me again and burst into a fit of laughter. I was on her in a second, wrestling with her and torturing her for getting so much pleasure from my suffering. She put up a good fight until neither of us could hold back our laughter any longer.

Bella was resting on her back when I flipped and pinned her to the floor. I was just about to ask to leave again when she spoke the words I'd been dying to hear.

"I think it's time now."

I was on my feet in a flash and she squealed and laughed as I pulled her up with me.

"Anxious?" She smiled up at me.

"Excited."

"Then let's go."

She grabbed my hand and we rushed down the stairs. Just before I could open the back door, she turned to me.

"Close your eyes."

"What?"

"I said close your eyes." Bella's eyes sparkled as she grinned. "It's a surprise remember?"

"How am I going to get there if I can't see?"

The spark of mischief in her eyes told me what was coming.

"I'm going to carry you, silly."

"You are not carrying me anywhere," I argued.

"Okay," she shrugged her shoulders, "I'm going back to bed then."

Bella took a step around me but I grabbed her wrist to stop her. "Fine, but don't think you can make a habit of this."

Bella was beaming as she turned and threw her body into mine, kissing me. Her hands cupped my face as she pulled away.

"You're going to love it, I promise."

Her enthusiasm was infections and I found myself smiling as she pulled me onto her back. The position felt ridiculous since she was so much smaller than I was, but this was her game and she knew exactly how to play to get me to do as she asked.

"Are your eyes closed," she asked as she reached for the door handle.

"Yes, my love," I answered.

Her answering giggle rang in my ears as she opened the door and took off.

The light rain dampening our hair and clothing was a godsend as it meant there would be no one on the streets while Bella guided us to our destination. I felt her slow and take a few more steps before she stopped completely and took a deep breath.

Without a word, my feet found the soft ground beneath me as I stood behind her. The rain had stopped during our short trip and the air smelled crisp and clean. I heard the rustling of the trees as the wind blew through their branches.

I knew it had only been minutes but Bella finally allowed me to open my eyes. The beauty in front of me brought back so many memories.

"Bella," I whispered as I stared out at the lake…our lake, shimmering in the moonlight.

"Do you remember the last time we were here?"

I did. I remembered every second. Smiling at the memory, I pulled her into my arms.

"You were so happy that day," I said, remembering the smile on her face as we sat together on our blanket.

"Deliriously happy," Bella said wistfully, leaning into me. "I didn't think I'd ever feel that again." Her hands slid over my forearms wrapped around her shoulders. "We were so close, Edward. So close to the wedding, so close to our future but we lost everything."

"No." I turned her to look at me. Her eyes held a deep sadness that made my heart ache. "We didn't.

"We've dealt with so much over the years, but what did we really lose?" Placing her hand on my chest, I continued. "My heart has always been yours and, by the grace of God, yours is still mine. It may have taken some time but we found each other again and we can still live the life we've always wanted. Better actually because now nothing can take you away from me."

Touching her cheek, I lifted her other hand to my lips, kissing my mother's ring that still rested on her finger after all these years. It was the first time since finding her again that I had even acknowledged it was there, too afraid that mentioning it would anger her in some way and I would suffer the pain of watching her remove it.

"The day I put this ring on your finger I told you I couldn't imagine my life without you by my side. I had to live my life without you for fourteen long years and I'm not going to do that again."

I kissed her and, on impulse, dropped to one knee, holding both of her hands in mine.

"I have loved you my whole life – when you were with me and even more so when you weren't. When we were seventeen, I wanted a lifetime with you. I wanted us to love each other, raise a family and grow old together. Today, after all we've been through, that's all changed.

"I may not be able to give you the family we had dreamed of, but I can give you my heart…now and for a thousand lifetimes. I will love you forever and though I've asked you this before, I would be remiss if I didn't ask again." I took a deep breath. "Isabella Swan, will you grant me the greatest honor of spending eternity with me?"

The crack echoed through the empty air as Bella's body collided with mine. Her arms wrapped around me as her lips crashed to mine and her mind shouted her answer.

_Yes, Edward, yes._

My arms tightened around her waist and our kiss deepened. Thankfully neither one of us needed to breathe because I didn't want this to end. Bella was mine. As children, as teenagers, as adults, Bella had always been mine and now, after all our years apart and everything we had suffered, we could finally begin our life together.

Husband and wife. Now and forever.

* * *

><p><strong>Husband and wife…finally. I think taking Edward to their lake was a great idea, don't you. Of course, before any wedding can take place, Bella has to see her father. <strong>

**I have another couple recs for you coming from one of my favorite authors. The awesomely, great LyricalKris.**

**First… All I Have to Give **

For a princess, virtue is a prize to be given away to the highest bidder. This is a problem when you're in love with a man who cannot possibly win.

**Second… Suddenly**

An apathetic actor. A young girl coming into her own. He was always larger than life to her. She was always just a child on the edge of his horizon. For both, love was a silly game other people played, until it wasn't.

**As always, thank you so much for all the love you give this story. It means more to me than you will ever know. Big hugs to everyone. You are all the best. Until next time…much love to you all – D**


	33. Chapter 33

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story. **

**Many thanks to my amazing team. I couldn't do this without you: ellachanted, Kate22689 and AgoodWITCH Love ya tons, ladies. **

**A/N: I am sorry this has taken so long. Timing issues worked against me on this one so, with that being said, this chapter is coming to you unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine and I will post the edited chapter as soon as I have it ready.**

**Also, I know I'm messing with the rhythm here since this was supposed to be Bella's chapter but with the emotional upheaval she's going to be in here, I thought it best to bring this to you from Edward's point of view. So, I'll let you get to it. **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 33<strong>

**EPOV**

Bella and I spent hours by the lake recalling old memories of plans we'd made for our original wedding. That one was going to be a big affair but this time, it would just be us. I would have liked to have Carlisle and Esme standing with me but I knew instinctively Bella wasn't ready for that yet.

When the town clock struck midnight, we stood and made our way back to the house. The walk was quiet, each of us thinking of what was to come. There were several times I had wanted to say something, to comfort her somehow but I couldn't. I simply held her hand and let her have this time to herself before facing the pain that seeing her father would bring.

Returning to the house, we each spent a bit of time cleaning up so we would be presentable when we went to visit Charlie. Once we were done and in the kitchen ready to go, Bella finally spoke.

"What do you hear?" she asked hesitantly.

Closing my eyes, I blocked everything but the three minds in the house next door.

"Everyone is sleeping." My head tilted a little as I listened. "Your mother's thoughts are hazy, clouded, like in a fog."

"What does that mean?"

"I don't know for sure. She hasn't been sleeping well. Maybe she's taken something to help."

"Will she be okay?"

I smiled, rubbing my hand up and down her arm softly. "I'm sure she'll be fine, Angel. Your father will take care of her until he draws his last breath."

Bella nodded as her eyes filled with tears again. Her forehead fell to my chest as she took a few steadying breaths. This was incredibly hard on her and I knew how scared she was for her father, after all, I'd been through it with my own father. Only this was different. I wouldn't let her go through it alone.

I wrapped my arms around her and kissed the top of her head. "I'm here, Bella. I'll always be here for you."

She looked up with a watery-eyed smile. "I know."

Sliding her hands up my arms, she clasped her fingers against the back of my neck and pulled me to her. Her lips were soft and feather light as she touched them to mine.

"It's time to go," she whispered.

Slowly, we walked hand in hand to her parents' back door. She quickly found the key they'd always kept hidden under one of the flowerpots and quietly opened the door. We both hesitated a second after the soft click of the closing door to make sure we hadn't disturbed anyone. Once the silence settled and their dreams continued in my head, we crept through the house until we stood in front of her parents' bedroom door.

I reached for the handle but Bella's hand on mine stopped me.

"Can I have a moment...alone," she whispered, looking up with the saddest expression.

My heart went out to her and I leaned in to kiss her forehead. "I'll be right here until you call."

"I love you," she said softly.

"And I love you, Angel…so much."

A quick brush of our lips and Bella slipped into the room, closing the door behind her. I heard her soft footsteps move across the floor, a tiny thud as she dropped to her knees beside the bed and the smallest sob as she spoke.

"I'm here, Daddy." It wasn't anything Charlie would have heard, but I did.

The anguish in those three little words made me wish I could hold her right now and be with her through every second of her pain, but she needed this. She needed time with her father that was hers and hers alone. She knew I was here and could call for me when she was ready.

As we'd planned, I leaned against the wall listening to her mother and Mrs. Jones to ensure they both slept through this. We couldn't afford for either one to wake while we were here.

"Daddy." The quiet word drew my attention.

Charlie's grunt was loud in the quiet room. The dream of her playing in head shimmered but held steady.

"Wake up, Daddy. It's Bella."

Another groan, another shimmer as his mind fought to remain asleep.

"I'm home, Daddy. Please wake up."

"Bella." The word was a reverent whisper as his mind conjured the image of him finding her at last and holding her tight in his arms.

"Yes, Daddy, I'm here."

The image began to fade and I could see his struggle to hold on to the dream as it shifted and changed, one image after the next of him finding her, of her coming home.

Another whisper, though slightly more coherent. "Bella."

"I'm here," she breathed. "Open your eyes. I'm really here."

The dream shattered as Bella's words finally reached him. Charlie said her name again, much stronger this time, and I watched through his eyes as her face slowly came into focus. His sharp gasp led to another coughing fit.

"Shh, Daddy, it's okay." Bella's voice was soft and soothing. "It's okay."

Panicked, my focus instantly switched to Renee, her mind still foggy as her medically aided sleep held her under. Mrs. Jones stirred but her dreams still played strongly in her mind. I breathed a sigh of relief as my mind shifted back to Bella.

I couldn't see anything in the room but I could hear them – Charlie continually repeating her name and Bella apologizing for leaving. It hurt me to hear their broken sobs knowing I was the cause of all their pain, but it helped, if only a little, to know I could give them this moment before his illness took him away.

Just then, the room came into view as Charlie opened his eyes. I watched though his vision as he pulled Bella away from him and held her shoulder, not allowing her to move too far from him.

"My sweet girl, you're home."

Through his eyes, I watched her face fall slightly. His mind, still so excited for her return, missed the little change and, again, my heart ached for her.

"I had to see you, Daddy, but I cannot stay."

"No, Isa…" he objected loudly but her hand covered his mouth.

I listened for Renee and Mrs. Jones again. Both slept through his outburst.

"Daddy, come sit with me," Bella asked.

"No, I…" Another cough choked off his words.

"I know you're weak, but I'll help you," she told him. "Please."

Charlie resigned instantly, ready to give her anything she wanted. Again, I was cut off when his eyes closed and I heard his pained groan. Their footsteps were quick and I could only guess that Bella helped him cross the floor using more of her strength than his.

"Sit here, Daddy," she whispered.

As much as we were able, Bella and I had planned for tonight. She had told me about a set of chairs in the corner of the room that she wanted to sit her father in. They were far enough away from the bed that, if they kept their conversation to a whisper, there was less of a chance to wake Renee.

She moved quickly and once Bella had him settled with a blanket and some water, Charlie watched as she dropped to her knees in front of him, tears in her eyes that would never fall.

"Where have you been, Isabella?" Charlie asked in a hoarse voice.

"I'm sorry, Daddy. I had to go."

"You were in pain, Sweetheart, and it was my fault. I didn't do enough to help you."

"It wasn't your fault." She tried to relieve him of his guilt.

"It was, Bella," he argued. "I should have been there for you. I should have tried harder to help you through your grief, but I never saw the true depth of your pain. I let you down and I'm so sorry."

"You _were_ there for me, but I didn't want your help. I didn't want anyone's help."

Hearing the regret in her voice hurt and I wanted to hold her, give her strength to get through this.

"Losing Edward was too much for me and I knew I couldn't stay here. Not when the memories of him were everywhere."

"But where did you go? I searched everywhere for you." Charlie's voice cracked at the end. "I searched for years but you were just gone. Like you vanished into…" Another cough halted his words.

"Daddy." Bella struggled to keep her voice low. "Daddy, drink this."

Water sloshed against the sides of the glass as Charlie drank. A few more coughs followed before his breathing evened out and he could speak again.

"I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for," she told him.

"But I do," he said. "You've finally come home to us and I still can't be here for you."

"I know, but I can't…"

"You know?" He cut her off, his voice rising in question.

Bella dropped her forehead to Charlie's knee. He placed a hand on her head and stroked her hair. "I know you're sick. That's why I'm here."

"But I looked, Bella." He sounded surprised. "I looked everywhere and couldn't find you. How could you know? Who could have told you?"

"Someone did find me, Daddy." She finally looked up at him. "He told me and he brought me home."

"Who told you?" He coughed. "And how did they find you when I couldn't"

"I want to tell you but…" She trailed off, suddenly sounding nervous.

Bella's hesitation nearly sent me running into the room. She shouldn't be facing this alone. I should be with her, standing at her side as she faced her father. The seriousness of his condition and the fear he wouldn't survive such a shock were the only things keeping me cemented in place.

"But what?" Charlie grumbled. "You've been missing for thirteen years, Isabella, and you return now claiming someone not only knows my condition, but found you and brought you home, I deserve some answers."

"I know you do but it's hard to explain."

"I don't care how hard it is. You owe me an explanation, young lady."

His stern command made me smile a little. He was as stubborn as Bella and, sick as he was, he wasn't letting her get away without answering his questions.

"Just start from the beginning." His tone softened. "Tell me where you've been."

Bella exhaled. "I went to the city."

"But I searched the city," he argued. "There were no traces of you."

"I wasn't living in a place you would ever look." I heard the shame in her voice.

"Then where?"

"The streets." Her face fell and her eyes dropped from his. "Abandoned buildings, mostly."

"You what," he bellowed, startling me.

My mind instantly went to Mrs. Jones but she seemed to be unaffected by his outburst. Renee was still asleep thanks to whatever the doctor had given her to sleep.

"Daddy, please don't be angry," Bella begged, her pleading eyes now focused on him. "It was all too expensive. I didn't have enough money, but some friends found me and took me in. I lived with them."

"You didn't have friends in the city."

"Not at first, but they became my friends…my family."

"_We_ are your family," Charlie choked on the grief behind his words. "You should have been _here_."

"I couldn't." Venom filled her eyes again. "Don't you understand how hard it was for me here? Edward was everything to me and I couldn't live in a place where everything reminded me of him. Where I expected to see him around every corner. I ran from the pain, Daddy, because I couldn't take it anymore. I thought if I was gone, if I left, that I could heal from the pain, that I could forget, but it didn't work. My grief followed me everywhere.

"So I did the best I could. I made friends and lived my life with them. They helped me. I even began working so we could live a better life. I still struggled to let go but I was getting better. Only it didn't last."

"Why?" he asked. "What happened?"

"There was a fire and I was separated from my friends. A stranger offered to help me. He said he'd seen my friends running away and would help me find them. So I went with him."

I cringed as his mind conjured up the worst scenarios possible.

"Oh God, Bella, no."

"He'd been to the diner before and he was so nice." She continued as if he didn't speak. "I didn't expect him to attack me. My friends found us and they tried to save me, but they were too late."

_He did what! He attacked her!_

Rage coursed through me as I listened to Bella explain how she had been changed. She told me Garrett never killed an innocent, never killed a woman. How could she tell me such a lie?

"Too late? That's not… You're here."

Charlie's distressed words sliced through my rage. Only for him would I put this aside. He was what was important now.

"They weren't too late. How could they be too late?" Disbelief colored his tone.

"Calm down, please," she implored. "I need to tell you something. Something important, but I need you to stay calm."

"_What_ is going on, Isabella?" His voice shook.

Bella remained silent and Charlie's fearful thoughts seeped into my veins like ice.

"Tell him, Bella," I whispered to her.

_I can't do it, Edward._

"He's terrified, can't you hear it?"

_Yes, but…_

"He's imagining the worst, Bella. Every possible way you could die. Don't let him suffer like that, just tell him."

"You're here. You didn't… He didn't…" Charlie couldn't finish a single sentence.

"Daddy," Bella finally spoke, "I need to tell you something but you have to promise me…" Her words trailed off and she took a deep breath.

"Promise what, Bella?" Charlie's voice trembled and I shuddered as the images in his head worsened.

"My world isn't like it used to be, Daddy. What I have to tell you…you have to promise me you will never tell anyone. Not mother…Mrs. Jones…no one."

"Tell me. Whatever it is, please just tell me."

"Promise me, Daddy," she begged. "Our lives depend on it."

"Dear God, Bella, what kind of trouble are you in?"

"Promise," she insisted.

"Anything, sweetheart. I will promise you anything if it keeps you safe."

"There is no trouble I promise you. But what I'm about tell you isn't going to be easy to hear and it must remain a secret or we could both die."

"I'm already dying, Bella," he said softly. "What more could anyone do to me?"

"I know," she said sadly, "but I wasn't talking about you."

"Then who…" he began but Bella cut him off.

"I'll tell you, only," she hesitated a moment, "not yet."

"Bella." The warning was clear in his voice.

"I'll tell you, I swear, but his part will come later."

"His?"

Her brow furrowed but she didn't answer his question. With another deep breath, her eyes dropped from his and she began.

"I know how hard this is going to be to believe, but I meant it when I said my friends were too late to save me." Bella shook her head. "Johnny and Clyde both died in their attempts but regardless of their fight, I was already lost. I died that day." Her last sentence was spoken slowly, distinctly, leaving no doubt in its meaning.

Charlie gasped and began to protest but Bella covered his mouth to silence him. Seconds passed before she pulled her hand away and continued.

"I knew it was the end and just before my eyes closed, I thought of you, mother, Mrs. Jones and Edward. Especially Edward." She took in another breath. "I thought my prayers had finally been answered and my death meant we would be reunited again. But I was so wrong.

"The man that attacked me wasn't a normal man. He couldn't give me the heaven I desperately prayed for. Instead, his _bite_ cursed me to a life of darkness and shadows. His _bite_ denied me my heaven…denied me my Edward."

"Wh-what are y-you saying, Bella?" Fear stuttered his words.

She continued as if she didn't hear him speak. "He took from me the only thing I had ever wanted and when I finally realized what he had done to me, what he stole from me, I tried to kill him, only for us dying is…nearly impossible."

"Nearly impossible?" He echoed her words. "What does that mean?"

Charlie's mind was going in so many different directions it was hard to keep up. He was making the connection but dismissing the idea just as fast, his logical brain warring with what his mind was trying to grasp.

"You're not… You can't…" Again, his thoughts gave him the answers he was looking for, but he fought against them. "That's impossible, Bella."

"But it's not," she finally said. "I died, Daddy, thirteen years ago."

"No." His eyes shut, cutting off my sight. "No, you're here. You're not dead."

"I died, Daddy," Bella repeated then added, "but Garrett brought me back. He gave me a new life. He gave me immortality."

_Bite. Death. Immortality._ Charlie's frantic mind fought hard against the words, but he put it all together. He knew what she was telling him, but couldn't force himself to say it.

"No, they're not real." He opened his eyes to her. "They're stories, Bella, just stories."

"I know, Daddy. We all grew up thinking vampires weren't real, but that's what I am."

"No, don't say it. It's not true. You're here. You're alive and beautiful. You can't be a v…"

His mind froze on the word as pictures of evil creatures with fangs flooded his every thought.

I had to speak up to help her. "He's picturing the worst images of vampires he's ever seen," I told her. "Show him the truth of what we are."

_Are you sure?_

"You know your father, Bella. He needs proof," I said. "I know you couldn't have believed it right away. I know I didn't. How did Garrett convince you of what you are?"

_He made me feed, Edward. I don't think that would work._

"Then take every vampire trait you ever believed to be true and show him that this is what you are."

She agreed and I could see the determination settle in her eyes.

"What do you know of vampires, Daddy?" Bella asked him.

"That they're not real." When Bella showed no reaction to his words, I realized he never spoke them aloud.

"Tell me," she urged.

He didn't answer.

"Don't you remember the stories?" Still no answer. "Vampires are cold, right?"

His eyes followed her hand as she grabbed his. It took less than a second before he ripped it from her grip.

"Vampires are pale skinned. Look at me, Daddy, do I have the rosy cheeks you were used to?

Charlie's words were still trapped in his head.

"And Vampires are immortal. They never age," she continued, repeating the word his mind was so reluctant to accept. "Tell me, it's been thirteen years, do I look any older than I did the day I left?"

There was enough light filtering through the window for him to see her clearly as he made the comparison. This was his daughter kneeling in front of him. His seventeen-year-old daughter, not the thirty-year-old woman he would have expected to see today.

"Bella." He finally spoke.

His hand was visibly shaking as he lifted it to her cheek. He jerked away again as his fingers touched her ice-cold skin. He replaced it tentatively, brushing his fingertips across the apple of her cheek. When his hand stilled, only his thumb moved as he lifted her lip to expose her teeth.

"But you don't have…"

Bella pulled back a little, grabbing Charlie's hand before it fell.

"Not _every_ detail is true." A tiny smile curved her lips at the corners.

"Oh Bella."

Quicker than I believed he could move, he engulfed her in his arms as his eyes closed again. He still wouldn't allow his mind to settle on the word but he was truly happy to have her home.

"I can't believe you're…"

"I'm alive, Daddy," she interrupted, her voice heavy with emotion, "and that's all that matters."

She pulled back, leaving a hand on his cheek.

"I'm alive and I'm happy and you never have to worry about me again."

"You're my little girl. I'll always worry about you."

"Don't." She held his eyes with a determined stare. "I'm strong now, Daddy. I'm a fighter and nothing can hurt me ever again."

"You were always a fighter, Sweetheart," he said with a small smile of his own. "Now that you're…" He waved his hand up and down in front of her, still unable to say the word. "I worry about _you_, Bella. This life you were forced into. Isn't it hard living that way?"

I smiled seeing where he was going with this. It was the same place I had tried to take her.

"You have always been so loving, so compassionate…" He trailed off, studying her face. "Bella, I know the stories. I know you have to..." His voice softened. "Killing people is wrong, Sweetheart. Are you so lost that killing doesn't bother you?"

"God, you two are exactly the same," She growled and her eyes hardened as she pushed herself away from him. "Don't worry, Daddy, I already got this lecture from him."

"Him?"

My back went rigid. We had hoped to ease him into it but that was impossible now. She was going to have to tell him.

"That's the third time, Isabella. Who is _he_? What are you hiding?"

"I'm not hiding…"

"Is he the one who did this to you? Is he the one who turned my little girl into a murderer?"

He choked on the last word as another coughing fit stopped his tirade and Bella tried to soothe him, holding his hand and offering him water.

"I'm so sorry," Bella whispered as she took the cup from him and set it on the table. Turning back to her father, she grabbed and held both of his hands. "This has already been so hard for me to believe and I know it will be the same for you."

"What is it, Bella?" He brought her hand up to kiss it. "You know you can tell me anything, Sweetheart."

Her eyes closed for a second as she took another deep breath.

"When I opened my eyes to this new life, I knew there were some things I had to give up. One of those things was my family. I knew I could never come back here, that you could never see me again and that was something I had to live with. I hated it but there was no other choice.

"Then, if losing you wasn't bad enough, I lost Edward all over again." I watched as her eyes filled with tears. "I know this is hard for you to hear but when I was still human, I wanted to die. I wished for it so many times so Edward and I could be together again, but when Garrett changed me he took the possibility away. I had to live with it, but I never got over it.

"I loved Edward every day of my human life and every second of this one. It hurt so much to be away from him and I had to force myself not to think about him because letting myself hope for something so impossible was killing me."

"Bella, I don't understand," Charlie interrupted. "What does Edward have to do with anything? He's gone, honey, and he's never coming back. You have to know that, right?"

"I told myself that same thing over and over again for years. I had even started to believe it, but two weeks ago while I was out…hunting, he found me again, Daddy. My Edward found me again."

Charlie sucked in a breath of air and began choking again. It took a few minutes to settle his cough before he could speak again.

"Honey, that's impossible," he said in a hoarse voice. "Edward and his parents were cremated after the outbreak, you know that. All of those people were. No one comes back from that, Bella. Not even to live as a… as a v-v-vampire," he stammered as he finally said the word.

"I didn't believe it either. Not at first," she clarified.

"It simply cannot be, Bella," he argued. "Did you ever stop to think that someone was trying to hurt you and used your love for Edward to do it? That someone sent a man that looked like Edward hoping you would accept him into your life without asking questions. Sometimes you'll find that your enemies are those you keep closest to you, Bella."

"I have learned to spot my enemies and believe me, when I saw first saw him, I did believe someone was playing an evil trick on me. But, other than Garrett, there were only three people who knew of Edward and two of them were dead."

"And the third?" he questioned. "How can you be so sure they wouldn't do something to hurt you?"

"Lizzy was my best friend…my sister. She would never do such a thing. Besides, she wouldn't have reason. She believes I died the night I was attacked."

"Then there's someone else," he insisted. "Someone you're not thinking of."

"There _is_ no one else," she countered. "And I didn't accept him easily. In fact, I ran from him the instant I saw him and when he caught me, I attacked him, accused him of being an imposter. It was the only explanation that made sense. But the more he talked, the more he said, I knew it was true. I knew the impossible had become real and Edward had come back to me.

"He's the one who told me about you, about your illness and he's the one who brought me back."

"Bella, you can't believe…"

"It's really him, Daddy," she interrupted. "And I can prove it."

"You can prove it?" He didn't believe her.

She nodded. "I can."

_It's time, Edward._

"Are you sure about this?" I asked.

I was still uncomfortable exposing myself this way, especially with Charlie so ill. I didn't want to do anything to make this worse for him and I was afraid this would give him a shock he couldn't recover from.

_He can handle this. I'm sure of it._

Still nervous, I exhaled and checked on Mrs. Jones again before I took the first step towards the door. Charlie's gaze turned from Bella to the door the instant I turned the doorknob and his terrified thoughts slammed into me, so many all at once it was hard to tell one from the other.

"Talk to him, Bella, he's frightened," I told her.

"Daddy," she called him. "Daddy, look at me." His eyes shifted back to her and she was smiling. "There's nothing to be afraid of. Everything will be all right, I promise."

I closed the door quietly behind me, standing for a moment as I watched Bella calm her father. His thoughts slowed, becoming coherent once again and I took a few steps closer.

"Mr. Swan," I whispered softly, hoping not to startle him.

"Jesus!" He jumped back in his chair.

"Shh, Daddy, it's okay."

_He's not real. He's not real. _

Charlie's eyes shut tight as his mind repeated the phrase over and over again. Closing the distance, I kneeled down next to Bella and grabbed her hand.

"Mr. Swan," I said again, "please…"

"You're dead." His voice shook as his head moved back and forth.

"Daddy…" Bella tried but he wasn't listening.

"No, you're dead," he said again.

His mind jumped to Bella, his only thought was to protect her.

"Bella, run." He grabbed her wrist and tried to pull her away but was too weak to move her. "He's evil. An abomination."

His voice carried through the room and Renee finally stirred, though she didn't wake. Mrs. Jones shifted and mumbled a few unintelligible words before her dreams reclaimed her.

Using her speed, Bella was on her knees with a hand covering her father's mouth.

"No, Daddy, he's not evil." His eyes focused on her. "He didn't truly die all those years ago," Bella explained. "I mean, he did, but he was brought back just as I was."

One hand was still pulling at her wrist as he tried to yell through her fingers.

"Mr. Swan, please listen," I begged.

"Daddy, look at me." Bella begged his attention again and his eyes shifted back to her. "Edward and I are the same. He's just like me and you're not afraid of me, are you?"

I could hear the sorrow in her voice as she asked the question as if she was afraid to hear the answer.

"Give us a chance, Daddy. Please, let us explain."

Charlie's frantic movements stalled and his panicked screams stopped. His thoughts were still out of control but he was quiet and, hopefully, willing to listen. Bella slid her hand from his mouth to his cheek. Her other hand reached back searching for mine. I was quick to twine our fingers and hold on tight. With a soft tug, Bella pulled me onto my knees with her.

"Daddy, Edward is truly here." She spoke softly, hoping to keep Charlie calm. "He didn't die as we had believed all those years ago. He _was_ sick, on the verge of death, when he was taken from the hospital."

His eyes flicked back and forth between us, his thoughts still a jumbled mess.

"He was changed, though not as violently as I was, and the man who did it kept him hidden for a long time. Like me, he couldn't come home and gave up his whole life to protect _us_."

Charlie's thoughts, while still chaotic, continually landed on two images.

"Edward and Elizabeth," he whispered. "Are they with you too?"

Seeing their faces so clearly in his head drove a knife through my heart.

"No," I finally spoke. "Both my parents died in the hospital."

An image of the three of us sick and dying flashed in his mind.

"Couldn't they be saved?" he asked.

The stabbing pain in my chest grew as I remembered that time with my parents. Bella must have noticed my distress and squeezed my hand for comfort.

"My father died quickly and my mother and I weren't far behind."

"Why just you?" he interrupted. "If this man was going to do this to you, why not your whole family?"

"He wasn't going to do it at all," I answered and heard Bella gasp.

A pang of guilt took over as I realized I hadn't told her that part. I took in a shallow breath and continued.

"My mother knew my condition was worse than hers and she tried to take care of me, which caused her own condition to deteriorate. Our doctor had grown attached to my mother and I, and was worried for the both of us, but he was also opposed to changing someone and forcing them to live this life."

"Your doctor!" Charlie's voice was sharp. "How could it be your doctor? What about the blood? Or did he troll the hospitals _pretending_ to be a doctor to find his next meal?"

"It was nothing like that," I told him gently, understanding his concern. "He's a very good man."

"So good that he did this to you. To a sick boy who..."

"He didn't do this maliciously," I said, halting his accusations. "He did it because it was what my mother asked him to do."

"She would never."

_That's not true! He's lying. Elizabeth would never want this. How would she even know about this life?_

I shrunk back a little as Charlie's furious thoughts crashed into me.

"She knew, Mr. Swan," I said, answering his unasked question. "I don't know how, but she knew he was different. She knew, whatever he was, he could save me. When she realized there was no hope for me, my mother made him promise to do it because she wanted me to live. Even if it was like this, she wanted me to live."

"Then where have you been?" he said angrily. "Do you even know what you left behind?"

Charlie leaned forward with an accusing glare.

"While you got to _live_, my daughter, the girl you claimed to love, suffered a fate a thousand times worse than death. She wouldn't eat. She wouldn't sleep. She was nearly driven to death because of you."

My heart clenched, dying a little, as Charlie remembered the days and months after my death. Bella had told me more than once how she felt after I died and it hurt me to hear it, but seeing it now, in Charlie's head, broke me.

"I'm sorry." My voice cracked. "If I live a thousand lifetimes I know I'll never make up for what I did to her and I'm sorry." I grabbed his hand, ignoring his effort to pull away. "I will spend all of eternity making that up to Bella, but it's you, Mr. Swan, you're the one I need to make amends with now.

"I made you a promise a long time ago that I would not allow any harm to come to Bella and not only did I break that promise, I was the one to hurt her." My eyes closed for a second as I tried to control the pain coursing through me. "It's an offense I will never forgive myself for and, though I ask for it, I don't expect your forgiveness either. But I've come back for her and no force on this earth will ever tear us apart again."

"You destroyed her," he growled.

"I know, I…"

"Why should I believe you this time?"

"Mr. Swan, I swear to you here and now that I will watch over her, take care of her and love her until this world comes to an end."

"I've heard that before," he said in a strong voice. "I may not have much time left, but I will spend every last breath in my body protecting her from you."

"No Daddy," Bella cried.

Charlie turned a hard glare toward her. "I won't let him hurt you again."

"He won't, Daddy. Things are different now. _We_ are different now."

"How can you trust him after what he did to you?"

She grabbed his hand and held it to her chest. "Edward loves me, Daddy and he won't leave me again."

"Don't fool yourself, Bella," Charlie said, in a harsh voice. "He already left you once. What's going to stop him from doing it again?"

"He didn't have a choice the first time," she defended me. "When Edward was changed, he was kept away from humans for a long time. He was kept away until it was safe for him, safe for _them_, to be in public. When he had finally mastered his control, he wanted to come back. He even tried once but he knew by coming here he would only succeed in hurting me.

"The existence of our kind is a secret and if he had returned, Edward would have been forced to lie to me every single second we were together until he had no choice but to leave me again, and there's no way I would have survived that a second time. His only other option would have been to steal me away from you, from mother, from everyone and everything I loved and kill me. Take my human life so I could live this one with him, but he couldn't do that.

"Edward never wanted this life for me – killing to stay alive." Bella squeezed my hand as she turned to look at me, holding my eyes as she continued. "He wanted me to live a normal life. He wanted me to get over him, fall in love again and have a family." She turned back to her father. "He chose to stay away so I could live, Daddy, and he suffered greatly for that choice. We both did, but what Edward failed to realize," she glanced at me quickly before settling back on him again, "is how much my existence depends on his.

"He didn't understand, once he was gone, life really didn't matter to me anymore. I was lost without him. And the possibility of ever finding and loving another man was unfathomable to me. Happiness doesn't exist for me unless it's with him, and I want him, Daddy. I want him now and in every lifetime."

Bella released my hand and grabbed Charlie's in both of hers.

"Edward is a part of me. Human or vampire, he's the other half of me, the other half of my heart."

Charlie sat quietly, his mind eerily blank. In all the years since my change, only Bella's thoughts had been silent to me; the fact that he was masking his was unnerving.

"Mr. Swan, I can never make up for what happened but Bella is my soul mate." Charlie's eyes shifted to me. "I knew it then and even more so today and, now that I have her back, I want to give her everything I ever promised her."

"How can I ever trust you not to hurt her?" His voice was calm, though barely disguised fury leaked through.

"Because I love her."

"You said that before. Fourteen years ago." His eyes narrowed. "Right before you left her."

"I did love her. I still love her and I want to be with her forever." I reached for Bella's hand. "She still wears my ring, even after all these years, and I want it to mean something. I want Bella to be my wife. I want it now more than I ever did when we were…"

A gasp choked off my words as a picture of Bella, smiling and beautiful, in a wedding dress filled his thoughts.

"I will give her everything I ever promised her," I told him after finding my voice. "I will love her, protect her and watch over her every second we're together. She'll never want for anything as long as we walk this earth. She'll be safe with me and we'll be happy together until this world dies away, taking us with it.

"All I ask is your blessing, as I did so many years ago, to allow me the honor of taking Bella as my wife to love and cherish her for the rest of our existence."

Bella's hand tightened on mine as she leaned into me, her forehead resting on my shoulder.

"I love you, Edward."

Her words, so full of emotion, calmed me as her breath tickled the skin of my arm. My eyes closed as I basked in the love I could feel from her. Without thinking, I dipped my head and kissed the top of hers.

_Still so in love._

Charlie's whispered thought opened my eyes in time to see his hand pull away from his eye.

"Bella?"

Bella's head turned, though still resting on my shoulder. Charlie's eyes, still determined, softened when he looked at her.

_Dear God, please don't let him hurt her again._

_Never again, Charlie. _I wanted to answer him but that would reveal another secret I wasn't sure he was ready for.

"You're my little girl and I've never wanted anything more than for you to be happy." A single tear slid from the corner of his eye. "As your father, I had done everything I could to protect you from the dangers of this world and I learned a long time ago that Edward was never one of them." His eyes landed on me for a fraction of a second before finding hers again. "He had always cared for you and protected you in his own way. You were always safe with him and I knew, one day, he was going to take you away from me. Your life and your heart were going to be his responsibility and I had to learn to let go.

"Then the unthinkable happened and he was gone. The devastation you felt hurt me just as much because I was helpless to do anything for you. And when you left us, I prayed every day for you to come home happy, possibly with a new man in your life that could take away the pain you were in."

Charlie's statement sent a sharp pain through my heart, but I couldn't blame him for wanting that for Bella. At one time, I had wanted it too, though I will always be thankful those wishes never came true.

"But I see it now, life or death, Edward is yours. He will always be yours and it's time for me to give you up." Charlie's eyes found mine. "It's your turn now, Edward. I won't be there to give my little girl away but know you will always have my blessing. Take care of her, treat her like the precious gift she is and love her the way only you can."

"Forever." I nodded. "You have my word."

Bella launched herself at Charlie, hugging him as hard as she could without hurting him.

"Thank you, Daddy."

"Anything for you, my sweet girl."

Charlie closed his eyes and the love and relief in his thoughts as he held his daughter made me smile. They were a part of each other's lives again, even though it was only a few days. They could make the most of it. But for tonight, their reunion had to come to an end.

"Bella," I touched her back, "it's very late, Angel, and your father needs his sleep."

She pulled away from him with a pout on her face. "Not yet, Edward. Please."

"We can come back tomorrow night and every night after if you wish, but tonight has been stressful for both of you. He needs his rest and you…" My sentence died as I reconsidered my words.

"You also need to rest," Charlie interjected, his fingers caressing her cheek. "Come see me tomorrow, Sweetheart. I'll still be here. I promise."

Bella nodded and spoke softly. "Okay, Daddy. I'll see you tomorrow. I love you."

"I love you too, honey." He leaned in and kissed the tip of her nose. "So much."

After settling Charlie back into bed, Bella kissed her mother on the forehead and we walked hand in hand back home.

* * *

><p><strong>Bella and Charlie are finally reunited and he knows everything now. He's given his blessing again for Edward to marry Bella and they are all able to have the time they need together before he passes. It was a semi-sweet reunion that was a long time overdue.<strong>

**As always, thank you so much for all the love you give this story. It means more to me than you will ever know. Big hugs to everyone. You are all the best. Until next time…much love to you all – D**


	34. Chapter 34

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story. **

**Many thanks to my amazing team. I couldn't do this without you: ellachanted, Kate22689 and AgoodWITCH Love ya tons, ladies. **

**A/N: I am so, so sorry. This is my biggest fail ever. I've had this chapter back for weeks and with the chaos of the holidays, I simply forgot about it. I don't know what to say except I'm sorry. With that said, let's get to it, shall we. Enjoy.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 34<strong>

**BPOV**

The instant our bedroom door closed behind us, Edward's arms wrapped around my shoulders, pulling my back against his chest.

"I'm so proud of you, Angel."

I spun in his arms and drew him to me. "Thank you," I whispered and kissed his neck, drawing back slightly to look in his eyes. "Thank you for giving my father back to me. I've refused to think about him, any of them, for so long because I didn't believe I could have them in my life and I don't care if it's a few more weeks or if tonight was all I have, I have my father again."

"I'd do anything for you, Bella. You don't have to thank me for that. I meant what I said tonight. I will do anything, give anything, to make you happy for the rest of our lives." His hands held my cheeks as his lips brushed mine a second before his eyes found mine again. "You are the love of my life and I made a promise, for the second time, to take care of you and I intend to do that no matter what it is."

"I can't imagine what I've done in this life to deserve you, Edward, but I will never take you for granted again. You have my heart, my soul and my life forever and I will do anything I have to, to deserve that honor."

"Just love me, Bella. That's all I ask."

"Forever, my love."

Edward's kiss stole all the air remaining in my lungs and I thanked God I didn't need to breathe because I wanted this to last forever. Without breaking our kiss, Edward picked me up and carried me to the bed. He placed me gently on my back as he lay down next to me, his hand gripping my hip. My right hand drifted up his arm, his neck, until my fingers tangled in his hair while my left moved around his back, pulling him on top of me.

Edward's leg moved between mine as his hand slid under me and pulled my body into his. Our kisses grew more passionate, more frantic, as he squeezed me tighter. I wanted him closer. I wanted more. I wanted to feel him, every part of him, pressed against me. It was the one thing I'd spent years waiting for.

Shifting my body, I slid underneath him and gripped him tighter, forcing our bodies together in every place that mattered. His hips moved, pressing our most intimate areas together in the sweetest, most amazing way.

"Edward," I sighed, breaking our kiss.

Edward's body froze just before he pushed us apart. "I'm sorry, Bella," he apologized and sat at the edge of the bed with his elbows on his knees and his hands in his hair. "I don't know what came over me. I shouldn't have done that. Don't hate me, I'm so sorry."

In a flash, on was on my knees behind him with my hands around his chest. I pressed a kiss to that sensitive spot just below his ear. "There is nothing to apologize for." I kissed him again and whispered in his ear. "I love you. It is only natural to want this."

"But we aren't married, Bella. Not yet."

"We will be, Edward. Soon." I leaned slightly and turned his face to mine. "It's what we have both waited for, my love. There is no one to deny us this. Not anymore."

His eyes closed as my lips brushed his. Locked in a sweet, tender kiss, Edward snaked an arm around my waist, picked me up and settled me onto his lap. Both hands moved to my cheeks and held me gently as he drew back to look at me.

"Bella," his thumbs stroked my cheeks, "when we were younger, I wanted nothing more than for time to speed by so I could make you my wife. So I could kiss you, hold you and make love to you every day of our lives, but that was when time was so limited, so precious.

"Now, we have forever to love each other and I want to cherish every second with you. I want to hold true to all those virtues that meant so much to us back then. And as much as I want this, want you, I want to do this the right way. The way that will honor our commitment to each other but most of all, will honor you as the most precious and beautiful woman to walk this earth."

Edward kissed the tip of my nose and dropped his hands to grab mine, lifting them to his lips and placing a soft kiss to the back of each.

"I let you down once before and I vow to never let that happen again. I don't want you to love me simply because that's what we always believed was meant to be. I want to be worthy of you and your love. I want to be the man you deserve, Bella. Doing this," he nodded toward the bed, "before we're married would go against all of that and I will not dishonor you that way."

"Always the gentleman." A smile spread across my lips. "I'm glad to see you haven't lost that."

"Do you remember your sixteenth birthday party?"

It was a strange question to ask. "Of course I remember."

From the day I'd been changed I had replayed that night in my mind constantly. Edward proposed to me that night and the memory was one I was not willing to lose.

"That night my father told me he didn't raise me to be so _cavalier_ with a woman. Do you remember?" I nodded. "I didn't truly understand what he meant until now. I loved you then and I didn't care who saw me kissing you or doing what people in love do. You were my girl and I wanted the whole world to know.

"Now I know it wasn't about that at all." He cupped my cheek and his voice carried a reverence I hadn't heard before. "It was about honoring you, protecting your name and your virtue, and showing you the respect you deserve as a woman, as my future wife, and the mother of my children."

"But Edward, that's all over now." I pulled my hand from his and laid it on his cheek as I kissed him softly. "We live every day hidden in the shadows. We have no ties to society. There's no one to stop us from doing what we wish."

I leaned in and kissed him again, harder this time…more insistent. A few minutes passed before he pushed me away, holding my hands in his again.

"Please, Angel, don't tempt me this way." His voice was strained, his eyes pleading. "Allow me this one thing, my Bella. Allow me to cherish you as any man should cherish his wife."

The love in his eyes melted my heart. My arms flew around his neck and I held him tightly against me. "Anything, my love. Anything for you."

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Edward and I spent the day in each other's arms talking about anything and everything that came to mind. I told him all about Johnny, Lizzy and Jack and the fun we had together in the city. I told him all about the night Jack died and he held me a little closer when he realized how much losing my friend hurt me.

We argued about the night I lost Johnny and Clyde because that was the night Garrett came for me. Edward cursed and insulted Garrett and his character, calling him a liar for breaking his own rules when he tried to kill me – an innocent woman. I explained to him the strange pull my blood had for Garrett and how the scent of it compelled him to act. His actions weren't out of callousness or the desire to kill. It was a need he couldn't fight against.

Surprisingly, Edward understood that compulsion and told me Carlisle explained it to him once. That need for a human's blood that was stronger than any thirst we'd ever known. A singer, he called it. Someone whose blood you would kill for regardless of who it belonged to. I knew Garrett would never kill an innocent and now, knowing the truth of that day, Edward knew it too.

Now calm, Edward shared a little more of his life, telling me of an old friend named Henry and his daughter, Abigail. He chuckled as the growl rumbled in my chest at the mention of her. Then he kissed me and told me of the friendship they had formed on the day he shared his story of the love he was forced to leave behind.

The word 'forced' had me cursing Carlisle again for taking his choice away and keeping him from me. But I had learned not to voice that opinion unless I wanted to start a fight with him. It wasn't worth the aggravation today of all days.

"I want to see these places," I said, changing the subject.

His hand came up to stroke my hair. "What places?"

"The places you've been." I shifted to rest my chin on his chest. "I want to see them. I want to walk the same streets and see what you've seen."

"Bella," he smiled, "what draw could places like Wisconsin, Ohio or Washington have for you when you have been around the world."

"Those cities, those countries, held no interest for me, Edward." He scowled, ready to interrupt. "I know what you're going to say and yes, they were beautiful and I so excited when Garrett had taken me there but its draw, its beauty, was lost on me because you weren't there to share it with me."

"Bella…"

"No, Edward," I interrupted and sat up. "Before we were separated, you and I talked about traveling after we were married, only our journeys would have taken us to places around this country. The ones you seem so ready to scoff at. I wanted that so much and I would have been thankful that we would have to see them together.

"So, to see all those places around the world that you and I had never considered, never even dreamed of, left me feeling sad and guilty. Like I was experiencing something you never could. Something I know you would have loved had you been there with me. It was too hard to handle some days. Being without you, doing things without you… It was hard to enjoy any of it."

"It's settled then." He sat up quickly, his fingertips softly caressing my cheek. "We'll go, Bella. We'll go see the world. Everywhere I've been, where you've been and everywhere in between.

"Anywhere you have ever wanted to go, Bella," he continued. "We'll see it all and there's nothing to stop us." His smile gleamed and his eyes sparkled as he grabbed my hand and pulled me from the bed. "Come on."

In a blink, we were on our knees in front of the map lying across the floor in his parents' room. With his pen in hand, Edward began marking off places to go, talking so fast I could barely keep up.

His excitement charged the air around us and it made me happy beyond measure to see him this way. He was like the eager little boy I remembered on his birthday, running through our kitchen ready for his favorite pancakes.

"This is amazing, Bella. To see this with you will be…"

Nothing else was said as my lips crashed into his. My heart burst with so much love for him, I couldn't help myself. Edward's arms were tight around me as we tumbled to the floor laughing between kisses.

"I love you," I mumbled against his lips.

Edward rolled us over, hovering over me with the brightest smile I'd ever seen. The laughter was gone but his eyes shone with happiness.

"I love you so much, Angel." A hand brushed the hair from my face and he leaned down to kiss me gently one more time before pulling away again. "You are my whole world, Bella. I am nothing without you."

As quick as he moved, I had him flat on his back, holding him in the same position he had me.

"Never worry, my love. We'll never be parted again."

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

"Come on, Edward. Let's go hunt."

"What?" he questioned, looking perplexed.

I stood from the bed where we had ended up after Edward excitedly planned all our destinations for the next year. He sat up slowly and I held a hand out to him repeating my question.

"Will you go hunting with me?" His face fell and I realized what he was thinking. "Not like that. I want to try your way."

"Really?" His brow furrowed. "I thought my way disgusted you."

Kneeling in front of him, I grabbed his hands. "I don't want you to hate me every time I walk out that door. I don't want my father to see me as a murderer. I want to be better, Edward. For you…for him…I want to be better."

"I may not like your choice, Bella, but I could never hate you for it. I just want you to be happy. You have to know that."

"I do know that," I told him. "But I want to do this. I want to try." I stood again. "Will you take me hunting?"

"Let's go, Angel." Edward smiled and stood, sneaking a kiss as he did. Suddenly a devious smirk settled on his face. "I'll race you."

The wind left in his wake ruffled my hair a split second before I followed him out the window.

Edward was fast. Too fast for me to catch him, but I followed his scent and his taunting all the way to the forest where I took to the trees. In the trees I was silent. From the trees I was deadly. This was where I caught him.

Below me, Edward weaved through the forest – back and forth, circling and then straight – and after two miles his pattern was discernible. Flying through the branches, I moved ahead of him and waited. A smile crept across my face when I saw him coming. Shifting my position, I got ready to attack.

Three… two… one…

I launched myself onto Edward's back and we tumbled through the dirt, leaves and twigs covering the forest floor. He was flat on his back with my hand around his throat when we came to a stop.

"Gotcha."

"How did you…?"

"As fast as you are, my love, you're surprisingly slow in the forest." I grinned, sliding my hand into his hair and kissing him quickly. "Looks like I have a lot to teach you."

He flipped us quickly. "You can teach me anything, Bella. I'm ready." His lips touched mine for another quick kiss. "But for now," he hopped to his feet, pulling me with him, "let's hunt."

Edward led me through the forest another five miles before he stopped and scented the air. His eyes darkened as smile curled his lips. Quickly, his arms wrapped around me from behind and he whispered in my ear.

"Breathe deep, Bella." I heard his intake of air. "Do you smell it?"

It was a woodsy smell, not as sweet as human blood though not as repulsive as the moose blood he had led me to before.

"Yes," I answered, my throat suddenly burning with hunger.

"Five deer just beyond that thick set of trees." He nudged my head to the left and I pulled against his grasp. "Remember, move on them quickly and snap their necks before they run." His lips grazed my ear sending chills through me. "Ready?"

I pulled against him again. "Yes."

His hand slipped down to mine and he pulled me forward. "Let's go."

Quick as the wind, we burst through the trees, descending on our prey. The animals' fear sweetened their scent, but it was nothing like the scent of a terrified man begging for his life. In seconds, I took down the first two and started to drink.

I was halfway through the first when the taste overwhelmed me. I choked and heaved until every drop of blood was soaking the ground at my knees. The unquenched burn in my throat blazed hotter. My hands flew to my throat the instant I felt a strong hand on my back.

"Bella, Angel, are you okay?" Edward's panicked voice sounded in my ear.

"Can't…" I coughed.

"Bella."

"I'm sorry," I apologized between coughs. "I just can't."

Edward sat behind me and lifted me onto his lap. He pulled my head against his chest, cradling me in his arms.

"It's okay, Bella," he soothed, running his hands through my hair. "It's okay."

"It's wrong, Edward." I clutched his shirt. "It just tastes wrong."

"You don't have to do this, Bella," he told me. "Not for me."

"But my father…"

"You don't have to do it for him either." He turned me so I was staring into his deep golden eyes. "You are an amazing, beautiful woman, Bella, but you're also a vampire. You live and feed the way any normal vampire would and there is nothing wrong with that.

"I am the rare one. I am the oddity, not you. You've lived a long time feeding from humans. No one could expect you to give that up so easily, not me or your father." He caressed my cheek. "You tried, Angel, and that's what's important."

"But what if I can never do it," I questioned.

"Then you can't." He ran a hand through my hair. "I won't force my way of life on you, Bella. That wouldn't be fair to you. If at some point in the future you choose my way, so be it. I will love you always. Whether you choose humans or animals, it makes no difference to me."

I hugged him fiercely. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, Angel." He squeezed me tight then pulled back. "Let me take care of this," he motioned to the five animals around us, "and we can go home."

"Edward." I stopped him before he could stand.

"Yes, my love."

"I want to go back alone."

"Is everything okay?" His concern plain on his face.

I nodded. "I want to see my father, but I would like some privacy. There are things I need to speak to him about and I don't think I could do it if you were there."

"Is it bad?" Panic settled around his eyes. "Is it about me?"

"No, Edward, nothing of the sort." I lay and on his cheek. "We need to talk but it is so intensely personal I wouldn't feel comfortable with you around knowing what you can hear."

His dejection was clear for a tenth of a second before he masked it.

"Of course, Bella." His voice was flat.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I don't mean to hurt you, but this is something I have to do. Our conversation is going to be hard enough. I couldn't do it…"

"Bella," he smiled, "you don't have to explain. He's your father and I understand there are things you can only talk about with him. It's the way you have always been, Angel. I wouldn't expect that to change now." He left a gentle kiss on my lips. "You go. I'll finish here and wait for you to come and find me again."

"Thank you." I kissed his cheek softly. "I'll return as soon as I can."

"Be safe, my love."

I rolled my eyes and pointed at my chest. "Vampire, remember?" Edward chuckled. "Stop worrying so much."

I turned and ran back home, leaving Edward in the clearing behind me.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

A light wind blew my hair across my face as I stared into the darkened window of my parents' back door. A little after three in the morning and the house was quiet. Hesitating for half a second, I listened and hoped the two women inside slept through my visit.

Silently, I opened the door and crept inside, pushing it closed with no sound. Before I took a step, I listened again. Hearing nothing but the sounds of three people sleeping, I rushed through the house to my parents' room and snuck inside.

After a quick kiss to his forehead, I laid a hand on my father's shoulder and shook him gently.

"Daddy," I whispered. "Daddy, wake up."

He stirred but didn't wake. I tried again, shaking him a bit harder.

"Daddy, please wake up."

His eyes fluttered. "Bella," he whispered my name with a smile.

I returned his smile. "Hi, Daddy."

His sleepy eyes settled on mine and with a little grunt, he lifted a hand to my cheek. Covering it with my own, I held his warm palm to my face.

"I still can't believe you're here. I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too, Daddy. I'm so sorry to wake you," I apologized, "but I need to talk to you. It's important."

His hand fell from my cheek and I instantly missed his warmth. He struggled to move into a sitting position. but it was proving too difficult. I reached out and helped him fold his legs over the edge of the bed as I pushed him upright. Finally sitting, he took a deep breath and waited a second before blowing it out and nodding toward the corner where we'd sat together last night.

"Help me?" he asked.

Bearing the majority of his weight, I walked my father to the chair in the corner. Once he was situated, I grabbed the same blanket he'd used last night to cover him before he could catch a chill.

Kneeling in front of him, I took both his hands in mine. He didn't recoil or cringe as he had before and that made me smile.

"I've missed that smile, Sweetheart. It's the very thing I've needed to carry me peacefully from this life."

"Don't talk like that, Daddy."

"Oh dear Bella, how I wish there was more time, especially now that you're home, but there isn't. I will leave you all soon, but I'll do it with the knowledge that each one of you will be safe and cared for. Your mother and Maggie have each other and I truly believe they will get along fine after their grieving ends. And you, Sweetheart…" He took a breath but continued before I could speak. "By the greatest of miracles, you have found your happiness with Edward again." His face scrunched in confusion as he looked around the room. "Where is he? Is he here? There is something I'd like to say to him before…"

His sentence trailed off, but it needed no end.

"He's not here," I answered. "We were out…hunting and I left him to come here."

His face contorted in disappointment, the look breaking my heart. Since I was a little girl I'd always hated disappointing my father and when it happened, I did everything in my power to return to his good graces.

"Can the two of you not find another way, Isabella?" His stern voice held a condemnation that brought tears to my eyes. "Human life should be cherished, not taken without regard."

"It's not without regard," I defended myself. "The men I choose are evil, Daddy. Pure evil."

"That doesn't make it right to take their lives, Isabella. They should pay for their crimes, but not by your hand. Your way doesn't make you any less a murderer than they are."

His words were like daggers straight to my heart, piercing and twisting and draining the life right out of me.

He pulled his hand from mine and placed it on my cheek. "You're my little girl, Bella, and I will love you in this life and the next no matter what you choose to do here. I don't like it, but if this is the only way you can live then…"

"It's not the only way," I interrupted. "Edward has never taken a human life. Not once in fourteen years."

My father dropped his hand, his face perplexed. "How is that possible?"

"Edward feeds from animals," I explained. "He hunts them just as you would during hunting season, only he drinks their blood whereas you would take the meat."

The lines creasing his forehead relaxed as he thought this over. There was the smallest tug at the left corner of his lips and, for once, I wished Edward were her to tell me what he was thinking. With a small feeling of relief, I continued.

"He's teaching me, Daddy," I told him. "I have tried his way, but the change is…"

I stopped, not knowing how to describe the taste to him. I decided on the simplest explanation.

"It is very difficult. I don't know if I can do it, but I'm trying."

"It's an option I would have never considered, but if it's truly in your heart to change, Bella, I know you can do it," he assured me.

It was the perfect opening and I had to take it before I lost my nerve.

"It's this option I wanted to talk to you about," I said nervously, his face marred with confusion again. "Edward has been able to live a semi-normal human life all these years. He's worked, gone to school, he's even earned a medical degree and I'm so proud of everything he's accomplished."

I knew by the narrowed eyes and furrowed brow that my father was waiting for me to get to the point, but I was nervous, afraid of his reaction to my question.

"And I hoped, knowing you could live a normal life again, that you would consider…"

His widening eyes choked off my words. He looked horrified by my unspoken request. "You want me to…"

I cut him off, rushing to explain. "The venom would cure you, Daddy. You could be healthy and strong again. You could live and we would be together again. Forever this time. No sickness could ever take you from me again."

"But what about your mother?"

The thought threatened to choke me but I forced an answer. "You said it yourself, she has Mrs. Jones to look after her. And when her time comes, we can come back for her. We could be a family again, Daddy. No sickness could ever tear us apart."

"I can't, Bella." His eyes glistened and a single tear dripped from the corner.

"But I could change you and we could…"

"Think of what you're saying, Sweetheart." I felt the tiniest pressure on my hand as he squeezed. "Remember what it did to you when you thought Edward had died. He was sick and had no choice in the matter, but I do and I couldn't do that to your mother. Or myself.

"I couldn't go on living my life knowing she was here alone, grieving my death. You told me how hard that decision was for Edward. And I saw firsthand what that very same decision did to you. Tell me…could you willingly subject your mother to that kind of pain." He hesitated but when I couldn't answer, he continued. "I thought not. And neither could I.

"Even if I did, what if something unforeseeable happened and she was taken from this life before we could return for her?" My heart clenched at the thought of losing my mother all over again. "She would forever be alone, Bella. It was a fate you were afraid of for yourself. You couldn't possibly wish that on your mother.

"I would give almost anything to spend forever with you, my sweet girl, but not if it causes your mother more pain than she's already suffering."

He lifted my hands and kissed my knuckles, squeezing my fingers again as he did so.

"My life has belonged to her for as long as I can remember. My death won't change that. Your mother and I will spend what little time we have left together and when it's over, I'll be waiting for her on the other side to spend _our_ eternity together."

I pushed up on my knees, throwing my arms around his neck. "I just don't want to lose you again."

His arms circled my waist. "I don't want that either, Sweetheart. You have to know that." he pulled back to look at me. "But I could never willingly leave her side. As with you and Edward, the only force that could possibly separate us is death and, sadly, that time is upon us."

My arms wrapped around him again. "I'll miss you so much, Daddy."

"My time's not up just yet, Sweetheart." His head turned and he kissed my cheek. "We have a bit more time before we have to say goodbye."

My father pushed away from me, dropping a kiss on my forehead before catching my eyes with his. I was surprised by the small smile playing across his face.

"I love you, Bella, always and forever. In this life and beyond. Don't ever forget that." Despite the heaviness of our discussion, he looked happy. "Now, go find your future husband and bring him to me."

"Should I be worried?" I teased.

His smile widened. "We shall see."

* * *

><p><strong>As much as he loves his daughter, Charlie could never leave his wife. He'll see her again on the other side. Now the better question is…what does he want with Edward? We shall see.<strong>

**As always, thank you so much for all the love you give this story. It means more to me than you will ever know. Big hugs to everyone. You are all the best. **

**Also, I have to say, from my house to yours, Happy New Year. Let's make 2014 the best ever.**

**Until next time…much love to you all – D**


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